The Death of Harry Potter
Malfoy (that sexy bastard) just turned me into a chick…and my robes are now a stripper outfit…I'm going to kill him. Right after I scare Snape!
.:10 hours later:.
I've only just escaped! Snape held me hostage and made me do him. I've never been so utterly disgusted and violated. I won't force out the details, but let's just say I'm not a virgin anymore and I had to sneak back up here naked! God, I'm gonna frikin MURDER Malfoy.
.:2 hours later:.
I got Hermione to change me back. But she made me snog her. I actually kinda liked that, a lot mre than I should have…Ron's gonna kill me if he ever finds out…now I have to go KILL Malfoy.
.:7 hours later:.
Finally killed Malfoy. But then Pansy Parkinson made me do her…Gosh! What's wrong with people today? Next, Ron's gonna be wanting to play spin-the-bottle, Lavender's gonna wanna play 7 Minutes in Heaven, and Percy's gonna send me an owl requesting a game of Strip Poker!
.:3 days later:.
I'm going to go find Voldemort and ask for death. All those things I said ACTUALLY happened. AND Dumbledore tried to do me during our lesson yesterday. TO VOLDEMORT!
.:7 minutes later:.
Justin Finch-Fletchly just caught me going out the front doors and he SNOGGED me!
.:several hours later:.
I found Voldemort. He refuses to kill me. Bloody git. I'm going to Rufus Scrimgeour!
.:10 minutes later:.
He won't kill me either!WTF? Screw you all! I'm going suicidal!
HARRY POTTER DIES