A DAY AT THE BEACH

(Leia)

Our lives remain as busy as ever, even after nearly twenty years of marriage. I took a year off when the kids were 15, 14 and 5, and six months after Jarik was born. But otherwise, it's been a jampacked two decades.

For an anniversary that's as significant as one's 20th, it may seem odd that we wanted to bring the kids along, but the fact is, with the exception of Jarik, we don't see much of the three older kids. Jacen is at veterinary college, Jaina is in Navy flight training, and Anakin is in his U levels (labeled as such in burst of creativity for 'upper'). Jaina's graduated from the Praexium, Anakin is still attending but getting ready to graduate in two years and head on to engineering college. These kids are made flesh the love that Han and I share. They're each so different, so unique.

Not that we haven't had our days from hell, of course. Jacen and the rest of us suffered through his substance abuse problem, which leaving the Praexium abated. He had two minor setbacks, but we braved them, and he's been clean for two years now with no relapses. That phase of our life was one of the worst, not exactly fun for the whole family. Jacen and Jaina were alienated from one another for a while there but on this trip, they've renewed their twin bond and listening to them prank each other and kid each other is music to my ears, often literally - Han and Jacen compose together when they get time. And he and a young woman named Tenel Ka Djo seem to be developing a romantic attachment.

We were not happy with Jaina's decision to join the Navy, but that's where you go to get the best flight training in the galaxy. Han is a civilian flight instructor there still, although he talks about retiring from it next year. We'll see. She is trying to apply her Force skills as constructively as she can, and we've told the kids what we went through in the Galactic Civil War, and while the Alliance emerged victorious, there are no real winners in war. It's taken many years to get many of the worlds on their feet economically, and that's a never ending job. I'm still doing it and likely will do so for the rest of my life in this world.

But Jaina is happy, she has many friends in flight college, and after a breakup two years ago, she and Jag Fel seem to be enjoying something of a reunion. He's ahead of her by two years and his and her idea of fun is to go out with their speeders and practice their maneuvers. They're waiting to see how it plays out, but my sense is is that they're made for each other; all they have to do is discover it over time.

Anakin has the strongest Force sense but instead of a career as a Jedi Knight, he's chosen to become a mechanical engineer. He's tested a few on his father's beloved Falcon (no, Han will never part with her), some of them awful but some quite revolutionary in terms of engineering. He's not interested in piloting, but more in making vehicles that will be stronger, faster and safer. He won an award for his work on YT hyperdrives, which secures his spot in the college. The most obvious benefit is that the hyperdrive on the Falcon rarely goes out anymore. Technology marches forward, and it looks as if Anakin will be a true powerhouse in his chosen field. Anakin's girlfriend Bekah attends his day school and wants to go to medical college. The relationship probably won't last, but they seem to be having fun.

And Jarik? He's a very happy and normal eight year old, full of energy and keen interests in piloting and in mechanics. Jaina has minimal free time these days, and she passed the baton to her little brother, who loves her stories of flying and working on the Falcon. Han hasn't let Jarik pilot his ship yet, but he and Anakin are teaching him fluid dynamics and construction design. Jarik is without Force sensitivity, but his brothers and sisters consider him their mascot and they dote on him.

So for our 20th, we took the entire family to Haariden. Haariden is clean, peaceful, and has the best beaches in the galaxy. We are staying in a luxury resort that has three huge pools and the beach is two feet away. The waters range from the palest aqua to the deepest blue, and it's amazingly clear. The sand is sugar white, the breezes gentle and cooling. Han and I took a one bedroom suite and the kids opted to share a two bedroom with a pullout sofa. Jarik thinks there's nothing cooler than a sofa that converts to a bed. Han and I have been in their suite once. Mos Eisley on a bad night never looked that terrible. But we aren't sleeping with them - the concierge made sure they were four floors up from us.

Right now, Han is out in the ocean with the four of them. Han's back has gotten worse over the years and he can't throw Jarik the way he used to do with the older kids, but the older kids are quite capable of filling in. Jacen's now as tall as Han and looks so much like Han did when I first met him. Anakin's a couple of inches shorter and has my facial features. Jaina is an inch taller than I am (which is the minium height for Navy fliers) and has most of Han's features, save for her nose, which is mine. She is curvaceous and beautiful with her long chestnut colored hair, which she has in a long ponytail at the moment. Jarik looks like Jacen and Han, and he's tall for his age, all arms and legs. Han must have looked very much like him as a child. We have no holos of Han under the age of nineteen.

I snap away with my holocam as my family splashes about in the ocean, screeching and laughing and doing their best to see how far they can push Han. He may not be physically quite as able as was in terms of lifiting children, but he isn't enjoying himself any less. (And just a side note: he's lost none of his sex drive. It takes longer for both of us these days, but that's the beauty of it.)

We've had our ups and downs in two decades. Han and I have had our share of shouting matches from time to time and we still don't always agree on everything, but as we get older, the words grow softer and more patient. We laugh at the same things and finish each other's sentences. We're both thicker around the middle, Han's brown hair is now more grey than brown. His face has lines that tell the story of his life. He grumbles about getting old but I think it's something that if you're lucky, you get to be there.

Mon Mothma passed away not long ago, and I had the chance to be Chief of State, but I turned it down, choosing to remain the Minister of State, and passed the torch to Winter. Winter is much better suited to the more regal role of the Chief of State, and no one was ever more skilled at espionage. We're not close the way we were as children, but we have tremendous respect for one another.

I watch my family as they body surf in the waves, still laughing and yelling like they did as little kids. They're all moving on to whatever fates they decide. It's why Han and I refused to let them start Jedi training till they were fifteen, and I think we made the right decision. I've met some of the Jedi who began training as toddlers. Some are fine and are happy as Jedi Knights. Some are a complete mess. We based our decision solely on what we felt was best for our kids. No one ever has perfect knowledge, and you do your best based on what you know at the time.

With Jarik, naturally, we're totally relaxed. We've raised three kids who are alive and well and say that their lives are meaningful and satisfying, but with Jarik, we don't have the Force component. And we'll readily admit that we're not as strict with him. save for doing well in school. Han finally realized that the kids not making their beds did not mean they'd end up as complete slobs. Ours all have, but we've discovered that we can close their bedroom doors and not bother ourselves with it.

Han still hates Jag Fel or, more specifically, doesn't think he's good enough for his little princess. Of course, no man in the universe will ever be good enough for her. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. He's better with Tenel Ka and Bekah, because it's his sons and they're supposed to be studs like their father. (He'd never say it, but I know he's thinking of it. And yes, it's a double standard, and Han is perfectly fine with his hypocrisy in that regard.)

When we first became parents, we did not realize how much we would love our kids - or how tired we would be. Even though they are spreading their wings, we are still their parents, and they seem to want to be close to us, for which I'm grateful. Of course, if they don't move out once they've finished college and military service, Han and I will gently encourage them to find their own places by changing the security codes. If that fails, we'll put their stuff outside the door.

Tonight, the six of us will have dinner together at our favorite seafood place. Anakin's palate is still not exceptionally broad, but it's certainly improved. Jaina and Jacen are of age to drink, but Jacen eschews intoxicants and Jaina avoids out of respect for her brother. She will drink with her flying cohort, but not with Jacen in the vicinity. She deeply respects what he went through and how he struggled to fight it. Anakin is looking forward to having an Alderaanian ale with his father, and Jarik's willing to drink anything hideously sweet, preferably in bright colors. He'll also eat whatever is put in front of him.

We'll eat and drink and have dessert that we really don't have room for but can't resist. We'll talk about good times past and those we hope for in the future. I'll take a look in the ladies' fresher at the lines forming in my face that reveal who I am, and find a few grey hairs. I still have my long hair; Alderaanian women do not cut their hair until they become widows. I'm not planning on becoming a widow anytime soon. We will tease each other, goad each other, dare each other, and laugh endlessly. We will probably offend the diners around us and we're just fine with that.

I close my eyes and flash back to the day I was captured by the Imperial forces. I felt sure it was the end of my life, and in fact, it was the very beginning of it. I was less than thrilled that my rescuers didn't seem to have a plan - oh, the hell with seeming it, they didn't have one!

But we lived, all three of us. We had more sorrow and heartbreak on the way. We nearly lost our lives several times. But what we always had was each other, and that made us face the future with spirit, courage and heart. And what a long, amazing trip it's been, and it seems like only yesterday that we were in the trash chute together. The kids love that story. I never claimed my children would have taste - just look at their father.

And that was only the start of the adventure.

I would like to say that it's all been smooth in the New Republic, but it's anything but. We still face insurrections periodically, and there are always groups that feel screwed. The Republic is a very difficult idea. It's the right one, but definitely not the easy one. So we continue to work for justice at every level.

But not today.

Today belongs to happy memories, a beautiful present, and a promising future. When I first married Han, I was certain that I did not want children. But that changed, and I'm so glad it did.

We still live in the four bedroom apartment that we bought when Jarik was born, and it's filled with toys, handcrafted furniture by Han, datapads, holoscreens and remotes always in places except where they'd be of use, dishes in the sink, floors that should have been washed two weeks ago, pittin fur everywhere, Jacen's still huge cache of pets and, above all, it overflows with memories.

I see Han and the kids heading for the shore. No, Han is not wearing the skimpy swimsuit I loved so much when we were first married; as I mentioned, we're not as thin as we once were, and it doesn't matter; he still looks hot and sexy. The kids are all giving Han a hard time, a behavior I encourage.

This is why paradise lingers long after we've gone back to Coruscant. It's in the people we love.