Guilty Love: Year 6
Chapter 1: Dreams

"BOY! GET DOWN HERE AND REMOVE THAT OWL FROM MY KITCHEN!" Shouted Harry's Uncle Vernon at the foot of the stairs.

Harry ran down the stairs, through the hall, and into the kitchen, where yet another large tawny owl was sitting on top of the sink faucet, peering out of the window.

"What if the neighbors saw it?" Uncle Vernon snarled as he followed Harry to the kitchen. "If your freak friends want to talk to you, they had better find a better way than…" He broke off, Harry knew he didn't want to say anymore; it was the way he was. Uncle Vernon preferred not to say anything at all about Harry's 'unnaturalness'.

"Nobody saw it," said Harry, annoyed. He just wanted to read his letter in peace.

"You better be right boy," replied Uncle Vernon stiffly, "or your neck will pay the price."

"Sure it will," said Harry, anxious to end the conversation. Harry could tell that Uncle Vernon was trying to work out whether Harry's last remark had been sarcastic or not. He seized the opportunity to race upstairs to his room to read his letter. As he jogged up the stairs he recognized Hermione's loopy handwriting. When he reached the landing he launched himself into his room and shut the door. Grinning, he ripped open the letter.

Dear Harry,
It was really great to hear from you a few days ago. Yes, we are all back at you-know-where again. Dumbledore says we are going to get you away from there as soon as we can, Ron and I did our best to get you here right away, but Dumbledore says he has your reasons, and "hopes you understand." Things here are about the same as always, we managed to get Snuffles mother off the wall, so things have been much quieter. Tonks says you had better write back right away (she is standing right here making noses at me), unless you want Mad-Eye to show up and have 'words' with your uncle. As entertaining as that sounds, it's probably not a good idea.
We are only going to be here for a bit, then I am going to go back and spend a week or two at home. Mum and Dad said that the summer is mostly the only time they see me now, which is sad but true. After that, we can hopefully all meet up at either the Burrow, or Diagon Alley. And don't worry; we won't stop pestering Dumbledore until you are here! Well, I guess that's all for now, I miss you, Ron does too, and I can't wait to see you. Hope the muggles are treating you well.
Love,
Hermione

Harry read the letter over twice. He knew why Dumbledore had him here; he had explained it finally at the end of last year. Even though he knew why he had to be here, Harry was still wishing he could be at Grimmauld Place with all his friends. But then, Grimmauld Place was somewhere Harry wasn't quite ready to face. Not just yet anyway.

Harry laid back on his bed, and not for the first, and not the last time, he played over in his head the battle in the Department of Mysteries. He remembered how Neville had had a bloody nose, Ron was struck giddy, Ginny got a broken ankle, and Hermione had nearly died. Then he remembered how Tonks, Lupin, Shacklebolt, Moody, and Sirius had come in to save him. They all battled the ten Death Eaters. And then Sirius fell. Harry remembered how it seemed like it took Sirius an eternity to fall. And then he was gone.

Grimmauld Place had been Sirius's house. Right now it was headquarters to the Order of the Phoenix. The pain of losing his Godfather was still to near. Nightmares, however, were a thing of the past in Harry's life. Harry had been keeping with his Occlumency lessons, through weekly letters from his new teacher, Dumbledore. Now he either had a good dream, or he simply had no dream at all. These 'good' dreams where one of the only things keeping Harry alive at Pivet Drive, it seemed, because at night, while he was sleeping, he was happy, during the day Harry seemed to fall into an endless pit of depression. He looked forward to the night, and the good feelings that came with sleep.

The only 'good' dreams Harry ever had were about Quidditch, a sport that's a bit like 'muggle-soccer', or about his two best friends Ron and Hermione.

Ron's face came floating into Harry's mind. He couldn't help snort a laugh as he pictured his tall red-haired friend. Ron was a lanky redheaded youth. He was covered in freckles all the way up to the roots of his flaming red hair. His hair was nothing strange though, considering his entire family had red hair. Ron had always been more or less invisible, and it's hard not to be with five older brothers, and one little sister. Invisible, that is, until last year when he had been made a prefect, and become keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Harry laughed again, as he suddenly found himself humming 'Weasley is Our King.'

Hermione, on the other hand, was a very intelligent muggle-born witch. She had bushy brown hair and (thanks to Madam Pomfrey) great teeth. She was more or less the one who kept Harry and Ron from failing all of their classes. It had also been her idea to start a secret club called 'The D.A.' which was short for 'Dumbledore's Army', right under Professor Umbridge's nose.

When he wasn't thinking about Sirius, Harry often thought about how confused he was about Hermione. At the end of last year she had given him a kiss on the cheek, which she has done before, but now whenever Harry thought about it, his stomach gave a pleasant jolt.

As Harry lay there with his thoughts, his door inched open. "Hey you," said Dudley poking his head in, "Dad says you have to come down to dinner. He wants to yell at you some more."

"Thanks Diddykins," replied Harry sarcastically. Dudley gave an annoyed grunt but did nothing, because the last time he had gotten into a fight with Harry, he had nearly received The Kiss from a Dementor. Dudley waddled out.

Harry couldn't help laugh at his large cousin as he followed him down the steps. He was, as always, quite large. He was attempting to grow a bit of a moustache, though he looked more like he had spellotaped a bit of armpit hair to his upper lip, since it was much darker than the white blonde hair on his head. Armpit moustache aside, Dudley had undergone quite a change since the end of last summer. He had been caught bullying the smaller kids at Smelting into hiding his smokes for him in the beginning of the year, and was set to community service as punishment. Dudley's perspective on things changed a bit after 40 hours working in the Soup Kitchen, the Hospital, and a retirement home. Dudley and Harry still weren't friends, but Dudley at least wasn't the complete asshole he used to be.

Dudley and Harry both came in and took their seats. Harry looked at Uncle Vernon, waiting for whatever it was he was going to yell at him for now.

"You'll be leaving soon, then?" Vernon said as politely as he could.

"I reckon so," replied Harry.

"Pass the carrots," said Dudley.

"Those, er, people… from the, er, train station. They'll be picking you up, I suppose?" said Uncle Vernon, sending the carrot plate towards Dudley.

"I, ah, don't, er, know," answered Harry. He had been wondering that himself.

"Listen here boy," Uncle Vernon said suddenly dropping his voice to a whisper, as though the neighbors may have their ears pressed against the glass windows, "I've been noticing lots of odd disappearances on the news here lately. I suppose this all has to do with your lot. What you said last year, about Lord Whats-its-thingy. And I want you out of here as soon as possible. You are an endangerment to my whole family."

"Y-You think I like it here?" Harry replied coldly. "If I didn't have be here I wouldn't."

"Right," said Uncle Vernon clearing his throat, "as long as we're on the same page." He nodded curtly and began to eat his watermelon and watch the TV along with his son and wife. As Harry looked at her, for a split second he could swear he saw a look of sadness in his strict Aunt's face, but the second he looked back at Aunt Petunia, she was sniffing loudly at the news of yet another celebrity divorce.

That night after dinner Harry went upstairs to do a bit of homework. For some reason he just couldn't keep his eyes open. Soon he was off in another dream.

Harry could feel the wind whipping across his face as he flew high up in the clouds, his eyes darting left and right, searching for the tiny glint that would give away the snitch. Suddenly, he saw it, hovering inches away from the ground, next to the Slytherin goal post. Harry turned his broom sharply and shot into a steep dive. Something hurtled towards him and knocked him off course. The snitch was gone and Malfoy hovered nearby, gloating. Harry saw a flash of gold shoot past him. It was the snitch! He shot forward at top speed, the wind whistling in his ears. He could just see Malfoy behind him, urging his broomstick to keep up with Harry's. He was close to the snitch now. Dodging in and out of the bludgers and beaters, he stretched out his hand, he felt his fingers brush the wings and he closed his hand around the tiny glittering ball. He had it! He toppled gently off of his broom, into the grass. As his teammates lifted him up onto his shoulders he saw Malfoy scowling nearby. Then, Harry was walking down a grand staircase, towards the Great Hall. He could hear the voices of his celebrating teammates. He felt the snitch still wriggling in his hands, but when he looked down it wasn't the snitch. It was someone's hand. Harry stared at the end curiously for a second, before he realized whom it was attached to. "Hermione?" He asked. Hermione just smiled and held his hand tighter as then entered the Great Hall.

Harry work with a start. It was still dark. His watch told him it was quarter to six in the morning. He laid back in his bed with a sigh. Pushing aside his Sirius related guilt for a few minutes, he allowed himself to attempt to register, what his subconscious obviously already had.

Hermione is my best friend! He thought to himself. I can't do this. There are too many things that could go wrong! Ron…This would hurt Ron's feelings…he would feel left out, I mean, he is Ron after all! And what about…Voldemort…she is already in enough danger just being my friend, if Voldemort found out I loved her, she would be next on his list.' With a sudden jolt, he realized, 'Love? I love her? But, she's my best friend… Another voice somewhere in Harry's brain said, But you do love her. Remember the way she felt when you held her to protect her from the werewolf that is Professor Lupin? The way she always smells like cinnamon. The way your stomach drops when you make her laugh? The way she hugs you when you scare her? You do love her. Just admit it to yourself. Harry sighed, It doesn't matter anyway. She doesn't feel that away about me. I can't do that to Ron. I can't do that to her. It is too dangerous. No. He told himself, No.

And then, a wave of guilt swept over him. "Sirius." He said aloud. "Sirius would want me to be happy." But he still felt guilty. One thought kept washing through his brain. Sirius is dead, and I'm thinking about a girl.

And, with that guilty thought, he fell off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Harry woke to a tapping at his window. Harry jumped out of his bed, and opened the window a crack, allowing Pig, Ron's owl, to fly into the room. Pig flapped about excitedly for a few seconds, until Harry managed to snatch him out of the air. Harry removed the letter from Pig's twitchy little leg, and opened it.

HARRY!
Get packed! We're coming for you FRIDAY! I almost fell over from shock when Dumbledore said you could come! You're going to be with us for your BIRTHDAY! We're going to pick you up Friday at 5 o'clock. We're going to stay in Diagon Alley until the next week, Saturday! Dumbledore is also going to give us out letters early, so we can do out shopping while we are there! So, be ready Friday at 5 o'clock, we'll be coming via Floo Powder, so make sure your Uncle knows this time. See you Friday, mate! And, oh yeah, Hermione will be there for your birthday as well!
Best,
Ron

Harry read the letter over twice, before picking up a quill and scribbling a quick reply to Ron:

Ron! I can't wait, I'll see you Friday at 5! –Harry

And he sent Pig off again, before he sat down, and began to write a reply to Hermione. After balling up the first three attempts, he finally sent off Hedwig with the finished product.

Hermione,
It was great to hear from you! I just got a letter from Ron saying they were picking me up Friday at 5. I am surprised Dumbledore is letting me out of here so early. I guess we're going to be at Diagon Alley for a week. Ron said you would be there too. It will be good to see you, and Ron, again. Well, I guess that's all. I'll see you soon.
Harry

Friday arrived, and Harry was up and packed early. He spent most of the day in his room, doing a bit of homework, and daydreaming, but most certainly not about a certain female best friend of his…or at least not much…or a lot…or…wait, homework? What homework?

At five after five, Harry heard the familiar sound of Mr. Weasley's voice in the kitchen. Followed by Moody's, Tonks', and Ron. Harry grabbed his trunk, firebolt, and Hedwig's empty cage. "Harry!" They all said in unison when he entered the kitchen.

The first days at Diagon Alley were wonderful for Harry. He and Ron spent their time out in the sun, milling around Diagon Alley, eating ice cream, and checking out the latest Quidditch equipment. They discussed everything under the sun. Everything, that is, except Sirius. Harry had not asked anything at all about Voldemort yet. He decided that he needed to be a kid for a few days. He decided to put it off until after his birthday.

And then, it was Thursday night, the night before Harry's birthday. Harry and Ron were in their room, laying under their covers chatting, when Ron brought up the subject of Hermione.

"Harry," Ron began slowly, "Have you talked to Hermione much?"

"Not really, I only heard from her once while I was at Pivet Drive."

"You know, when we were at Number 12, she was constantly asking Dumbledore when you would be there."

"Oh," said Harry, not quite sure what to say to Ron. Harry knew Ron liked Hermione.

And then they both fell asleep, leaving the conversation at that.

Harry woke up early on the morning of his birthday. He took a shower and put on his favorite faded blue jeans, and an emerald green T-shirt, one of Dudley's old ones, that he had magically shrunk to fit him.

He was nervous. He was in denial about why he was nervous. Hermione was coming that morning. Suddenly, Harry needed fresh air. He crept out of the inn, and into the quiet Diagon Alley, the stores were just opening, and the only other shoppers, were a sweet elderly couple, picking through piles of toad skins.

Harry spent an hour and a half outside, walking, peering into store windows. He headed back into the inn at 9:30. The first thing he heard was Hermione and Ron arguing.

"Well, Ronald, maybe you should keep him in his cage at night! Then he wouldn't be off getting caught in places!"

"Mind your business! If I want to let Pig out, I can! He is mine!" Harry came around the corner and saw Pig had gotten his head stuck in a loose plank of the ceiling. Ron was stacking chairs together, clearly thinking he was about to climb up their and rescue the flailing animal, but his mother and just come around the corner, and she whipped out her wand and released the small bird.

"Good morning, Harry, and Happy Birthday!" Mrs. Weasley said to him.

Hermione turned around and saw Harry. "Harry!" she screamed, before tackling him in a hug. "How are you?" she asked, still holding him tightly.

"Good." He said in a strained voice. "I'd be better if I could breathe though."

Hermione let go instantly. "Sorry! I just haven't seen you in so long!"

That evening there was an amazing birthday dinner for Harry. Everyone was there. Hermione, the Weasley's, including Fred, George and Percy, Kingsley, Tonks, Moody, Lupin, and several other members of the Order. Even several of his classmates had made it. Dean, Seamus, Neville and Trevor, Parvati, Lavender, and,

"Cho?" Harry said when she came over to talk to him, "Hey, what are you, I mean, how are you?"

"I'm good, Ron invited me, for your birthday, thought it would be fun if I came. You don't, er, mind, do you?"

"No, of course not," said Harry smiling warmly. Inside, however, So, that's his game. Get me back with Cho so he can have Hermione all to himself.

Harry shook the thought off, he couldn't have Hermione anyway. Harry couldn't help thinking that Hermione had been giving Cho a very dirty look though.

As the night went on, the party fizzled down, excluding the Weasley twins' demonstration of some of the new fireworks. Harry opened all kinds of gifts, including an entire sample box from the twins, some books, candy from Ron, and a really amazing sweatshirt from Hermione, that had a snitch in the middle that changed color to match his mood. Soon, everyone was heading either home, or to bed. Harry, Ginny, Seamus and Hermione were soon the only ones left. Seamus and Ginny were apparently an item now, so they disappeared after not too long.

For a moment Harry and Hermione sat in silence, watching the fire die down. Harry glanced at his watch. It was quarter to midnight. Harry cleared his throat and stood up. "I should really, get to, er, bed."

Hermione stood up too. "Oh, yeah me too." She took a step closer to Harry, "Did you have a good birthday?"

"Yeah," Harry said, looking at Hermione. He hadn't noticed how much she had grown up latly. She had all the right curves, her hair was straighter, and her eyes seemed to warm everything they touched. She was wearing low-cut faded blue jeans, and a black tank top with a hot pink zipper hoodie over it. "Best birthday I've ever had." He noticed his voice had gotten kind of squeaky.

Hermione took another stop towards him. "Did you get everything you wanted?" She asked, taking her eyes from the floor, and looking him straight in the eye.

"Yeah," Harry started, "thanks for the, er, sweatshirt, and ah, the, er," suddenly he had no idea what he was talking about. All he did know was that Hermione had taken another stop closer to him, and was looking up into his eyes, and "and, it's funny, because, erm, I," he was now distracted by the light smell of cinnamon, "and, I, er..."

And then, taking Harry by complete surprise, Hermione reached up and pushed Harry up against the wall into the corner he had been slowly backing himself into. And then, Hermione Granger, Harry's best friend, the smartest witch in his class, leaned towards him, her eyes closed, and kissed him.

For a second, Harry's eyes closed, thinking, finally. But then, that small voice in his head awoke. WHAT are you DOING? It screamed. You CAN'T do this! Ron, Voldemort! You are risking her LIFE! STOP!

Harry broke away, and stepped around her. "I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, and ran upstairs, leaving Hermione standing beside the fire, her eyes watering.

A/N: Well, there is chapter 1, third time is the charm? Things are moving rather slow right now, but don't worry things will heat up quick. Leave a review and keep reading! You can contact me on aim at WritingHarry182