Warnings: Rated for language, shounen-ai, and dark themes. Contains vague spoilers for The Lost Age.

Apply standard disclaimers here.

----- UGLY (by Kuroya) ((Written: 5/14/06 Published: 8/05/06)) -----

I used to look up to you, even if you never were exactly on my side. You were always there anyway; and after a while, it didn't matter anymore. Your beauty was enough, and eventually I could see you even when you weren't there. You might have thought I was just a child, trying to save his parents. Trying to save the world.

But that doesn't matter now. Love is love; it doesn't change in intensity based on the age or sex of the one who feels it. Yes, there are many forms of love, but love in its purest form is unchanging. It is immortal, like you.

For so long I thought you were perfect-- beautiful, immaculate, calm and steady. For so long, you were the only one I ever saw. The only one I ever dared to see.

You are still beautiful, but now that beauty is dulled by the sickness within. I know now that you were never perfect. You were only human, like me... You were only more and less than I could ever be. You were only, and that one word changed my entire world.

There is no true beauty in this life. It is all a facade to mask the dirt within; all masks to hide the stains. There is nothing perfect; there is nothing that was ever perfect. There is only you, and there is only me, and we are only human. We are ugly.

You're a liar, you know. I guess that can only be expected; you had to be a manipulative bastard in order to get all that you wanted. You had to screw us all over to gain the power and eternal life that you could not bear to see in the hands of anyone else. I guess I could say that it's not your fault; that it's all your parents' faults, or Imil's fault, or life's fault for dealing you a bad hand when all you wanted was happiness. But I won't, because that would be giving you too much credit, and you don't deserve it. You don't deserve anything anymore.

You've fallen so far and you don't even realize it. You're so far gone that you can't even see your own repulsiveness when you look in a mirror. And for all I know, you're dead now and none of these thoughts will make any difference. Either way, I'll never have closure. Because either way, I still love you, in your deceit and your ugliness. Either way, I'm the one who truly loses.

Here's to you, my fallen friend... Here's to you, you dirty bastard. Mia said once that she hated you. Well, I hate you more... I hate you so damn much that I can't stand to be without you. I hate you more, don't you see? I hate you more than you'll ever know.

So here's to you, Alex... May you find the happiness you betrayed us to seek. May you get all that you desired, and live out your "nearly endless" life. May you always be ugly.

Like me.

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