Paranoid Android
- hapsby
Father broods. First at the dining room table with a goblet of expensive white wine, then in his study. From behind the locked door, Ada can hear the plaintive strings of opera music. "Se Vuol Ballare," if she remembers correctly.
"Ada. If you want to come in..." There is a soft click when Father unlocks the door.
Startled at having been caught, Ada bows her head as she walks in. "I'm sorry, Father. It's just that... Carl and I have been worried..."
Father laughs, softly and without humour. "It's true that I have not been myself recently. Please. Take a seat, Ada."
It is then that Ada looks at her surroundings. Father's study is a mess. Books are scattered across his desk, spilling like water into the floor as if they had been thrown there in frustration. Ada, soft and shy and in shock, does not know what to say.
"We have much to discuss, Ada. It's about Carl." Father's voice is smooth as satin, but it sends a shiver down Ada's spine.
The weeping willow in the backyard is beautiful. Carl runs to and fro, swinging on the vines and pulling them around him like a cocoon. He's been a bundle of energy, excited and electric, ever since he came home for his first vacation from the Bureau's Military Academy.
"Nee-san!" His voice is mellow, butter-coloured sunlight-coloured love. "Nee-san, bet you can't find me!"
Though he is a child genius, he is still a child. Ada's resolve is firm, and her heart is full.
There is a man with green hair and a body so skinny it appears skeletal. His demeanour is friendly, but strange. Standing next to him is Father. A small cat beast-kin is in the corner, arms folded. Her lips are downturned in a sulky sneer. Father calls them the Sin Architects. Ada doesn't know what he means, but she smiles as politely at them as her nerves will allow.
"Hello. I am Ada Clover. It is a pleasure to meet you."
The woman snorts. "I thought you said the subject was male?"
Father shakes his head. "You'd do well not to argue with me, Kokonoe."
That's right, Ada beams with pride. They wanted to take Carl out of the Academy and bring him here. But Ada begged, and Father relented. Carl is the special one of the family; brilliant and powerful. Ada has always been nothing but Daddy's Little Girl.
Nothing scary will happen if Father is here. Wait for me, Carl...
Ada is laying in a stark-white room in a stark-white bed, like a test subject, or something. The cat-girl from before stands over her, clipboard in hand.
Kokonoe is a strange woman. Her words are vulgar and her attitude is uncaring, almost cruel. But sometimes there is a strange emotion in her eyes that Ada cannot quite identify. Regret? Sadness? Ada wants to ask her, but the sedatives steadily coursing through the IV in her arm make her mouth feel full of cement.
Kokonoe sucks loudly on a lollipop.
I want you to reflect, she says, but her voice echoes and distorts in Ada's fading consciousness, on the real you.
The last thing she truly hears is the loud crunch when Kokonoe crushes her candy between her molars.
Every single day, Ada reads the letters Carl sends her from school. She treasures each word, burns the letters into her memory.
She chews her pen as she thinks of something to write back to him. What exactly has she been doing lately? She tries to focus on her time at the laboratory with Father and Kokonoe-hakase, but the memories are slippery in her head.
"Nothing has changed. I'm helping Father with a project."
Today, Kokonoe-hakase brought two assistants. One is a massive red giant of a man, but his gentleness puts Ada at ease almost immediately. The other is a tall and handsome man, and Ada blushes under his scrutiny.
"I'm having these jackasses observe today," Kokonoe says, not bothering with introductions. Ada smiles. She's grown used to Kokonoe's gruffness, and, at this point, it's strangely endearing.
Ada awakes because her head is pounding violently. It takes her a few moments to realize she is not only still at the laboratory, but that Kokonoe-hakase's assistant is sitting at her bedside, idly sipping a cup of coffee.
"You're..." she says, rubbing her temples.
"Lotte," he says lazily. He holds his hand out, palm up. His fingers are long and delicate; pianist's fingers. His face is so beautiful it makes Ada's heartbeat quicken. Resting on his hand are two pills.
"A-Ada Clover," she mumbles, kicking herself when she remembers that obviously this man already knows her name. "What are those?"
"Nothing scary," Lotte grins. "It's aspirin. Kokonoe can be a bit of a bitch. I bet your head is killing you."
Ada smiles weakly and accepts the pills. He offers her his coffee, and with it she downs the pills as quickly as possible. "Thank you," she says. "Um... really. That's nice of you."
"My pleasure." Lotte adjust his glasses. "I find you fascinating."
Ada blushes violently. "Pardon me...?"
He leans closer, hands reaching out to take back his coffee mug. He rests his hands over hers for a fleeting moment before pulling away, smiling airily. "Knowing all the repercussions, you agreed to do this. Doing it to protect your brother is the wrong reason, but still. You inspire me..."
Ada wants to reply, wants to ask what repercussions he's talking about. Aren't I just helping Father with some research? she tries to say, but her world goes black again.
MY
NAME
IS
KISHIN
NIRVANA
Ada wakes up and shoots out of bed. She falls to the floor on her knees and vomits violently; the scarce amounts of food she's eaten lately and Lotte's coffee.
I want you to reflect on the real you.
"Kokonoe-hakase..." Ada spits bile. "Lotte-san. Father. Carl... Carl..."
When Ada dreams, she sees the Six Heroes battling the Black Beast. There had been dozens of movie adaptations of the First War of Magic, but Carl's favourite had always been Otherworldly, which had been more of a character sketch of the Heroes than an action film. Particularly, it had been a love story between Jubei and Nine.
Her dreams are like none of the movies she has ever seen. In movies, she saw heroes and lovers and friends and silver screen kisses. In her dreams, the Six Heroes were barely friends. It is common knowledge that Nine taught the human race jutsushiki, but something about Nine in Ada's dreams seems different.
When Ada dreams, she sees Nine's face as if she is waking up for the first time. She feels her body, but it is not a body. It is a being a pure light. Inside of her is a desperate hunger.
"Good morning, Nirvana," Nine says.
And then Ada wakes up.
Ada is sitting in the window of her room in the laboratory.
Lotte is talking to her, but his voice is a distant emptiness.
"What am I, Lotte-san?"
He does not seem caught off guard by this question.
"It is not what you are, Ada." He moves to stand behind her. The sunshine is too bright. Outside, a weeping willow is in full bloom. "It is what you will become."
For some reason, Ada is no longer nervous. No longer scared.
I AM NIRVANA
THIS BODY
IS MINE
Ada closes her eyes. She cannot move her arms or legs. She cannot see, but she knows that she will be able to soon. Kokonoe told her. Father told her. But why can't she remember?
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN HERE
HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS IMPERFECT BODY?
Months and months, Ada tries to tell her. Please. I need to write to Carl.
ARCH ENEMY KISHIN: NIRVANA
BE PATIENT, DEAR GIRL
YOU DO NOT YET UNDERSTAND YOUR DESTINY
Kokonoe is standing over her, just like on the first day. She is no longer holding a clipboard.
"I want you to remember," she whispers, "the real you."
When Ada dreams, she wraps herself in the vines of a weeping willow like a cocoon, and Carl is there, laughing. Summer is rolling in over the hills, and everything is beautiful.