The Diary Of A Christine
Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, in any of it's incarnations.
Author's Note: You've read about the fop and the social recluse, but you couldn't help but notice that there was something missing. You asked for it, so here it is!
July 1st, 1881
Dear Diary,
Annoyingly hot summer.
Have commissioned Raoul to serve me lemonade.
Unfortunately, he's gone to the mall.
Was rather distraught after I insulted his bedsheets.
But come on, "My Little Pony"?
Christine
July 2nd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul really needs to expand his cooking repertoire beyond lemonade.
Waffles would be nice.
Even toast would be good.
And forget tea, he almost exploded the tea kettle trying to boil water.
Christine
July 3rd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Complexion is becoming less-than-glowing.
Suspect it is due to constant mildew exposure.
Raoul says I shouldn't complain, as it's my fault for hanging out in basements all the time.
Well what does he know.
He can't even boil water.
Shall send him to the store for some expensive skin products later.
Christine
July 5th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul is whining about his lip gloss again.
I swear, he's addicted.
Claims he could quit at any time, but we all know that's a lie, now don't we?
Was invited by Erik to come play foosball some time.
Told him no, as the mildew down there is awful for my complexion.
Erik's company, however, is a great improvement on that of Raoul.
Christine
July 8th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul ordered more lip gloss.
Has been stinking up the whole opera house with cherry scent.
Said he was going to take me out to dinner tonight.
Was quite disappointed to find that his idea of a dinner out is MacDonald's.
What sort of grown man orders a kids meal?
He had a little too much fun with that toy...
Christine
July 9th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Opera house smelling of smoke.
Asked Raoul if he had been trying to cook.
Claimed that he wasn't, but I'm not sure I believe him.
After all, the opera house serves good food.
Christine
July 13th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Erik presented me with a plate of exceptional waffles today.
Could not help but notice how cute he looked with batter on his face.
Did not admit to how wonderful the waffles were.
Do not want him thinking he can seduce me with a mere plate of waffles.
I'm better than that.
In other news, Raoul's home has been filled with crates of cherry lipgloss.
It's kind of disgusting.
Christine
July 14th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Wow, I really need a waffle.
Raoul wondering why I've been walking around talking about waffles.
Erik does make really amazing waffles though.
Kept telling myself I would not be seduced by waffles.
Walked around repeating it out loud.
Got a few funny looks.
Christine
July 18th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Chandelier went smush today.
Did the management really think that was the only way to get the dust off?
Honestly...
Erik solemnly swears he didn't do it.
His nose would be longer than Pinnochio's if he actually had one.
Christine
July 19th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Mentioned the nose thing to Erik.
Apparently I touched a nerve.
Note to self:
Do not bring up the nose.
Or lack thereof.
Christine
July 20th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Will not be seduced by waffles.
Will not be seduced by waffles.
Will not be seduced by amazing blueberry waffles with fresh vanilla ice cream...
Will not...
Will...
DAMMIT.
Christine
July 22nd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul asked me if I was a magical fairy.
Replied by asking him what drug he was on.
The smell of blueberry waffles is constantly wafting up from the basements.
Must not fall prey to waffles, no matter how good they are, or how hot Erik looks while making them.
Christine
July 23rd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Walked around repeating my mantra of "Will Not Be Seduced By Waffles"
Raoul has been looking at weird.
Fed him some bunk about how they would make me fat.
He told me I could stand to put on a few pounds.
That bastard.
Christine
July 24th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul's ponytail is missing.
I find the entire situation quite hilarious.
Raoul has shut himself up in his room all day making flyers.
Suppose I should tell him that should he find it, it's not like he can reattach it anyway.
Christine
July 28th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Raoul still heartbroken over ponytail.
Noticed Erik wearing it as a mustache.
He tried to convince me that it was a new fashion statement.
Honestly, how dense does he think I am?
Christine
July 30th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Gave Raoul some coupons for Herbal Essences shampoo the other day.
Got them from Erik who was trying to bribe me to play foosball.
Like he had to bribe me?
Christine
July 31st, 1881
Dear Diary,
Perhaps he should try bribing me with waffles next time.
They're good for just about everything - bribery, seduction.
And they taste amazing.
Christine