Something a little heavier perhaps than my previous stories, but i felt in a musing mood

disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling etc etc

Wish Upon a Snowflake

Prologue

"…And as the clock chimes midnight, catch a snowflake in your hand, close your eyes, and make a wish." I looked down at the almost perfectly formed snowflake resting in the palm of my hand, crumpled my sleepy eyes up tight and let my thoughts run away with me, making a wish before it melted...

Happy memories have a curious way of fading, most details languish and merge into one another, until all we are left with is a feeling of warmth, a glow emanating from somewhere deep in our hearts that puts a smile on our faces. And even though these recollections are vague and lacking in specifics, it is these memories and that warm feeling they create that helps us through dark times. I don't remember what it is that I wished for that night in the darkness; knee-deep in snow with snowflakes swirling all around me like frozen confetti; and my mother's soft whisper warm at my ear. I used to take happiness for granted, it's something we all do when we're young, however, someone once told me in a lucid moment that 'happiness is like a butterfly which appears and delights us for one brief moment, but soon flits away'. As I stood alone in the darkness and stared at the snow drifting before me, fading in and out of the darkness, I allowed the snowflakes fall upon my cheeks, melting and merging with the tears trickling down my face at the painful memories. It was the first time that it had snowed on New Year's Eve since my mother had whispered in my ear to wish upon a snowflake, and the sore memories came flooding back. As the clock struck twelve, I captured a snowflake in my hand and let the nostalgia wash over me, wishing for the hurt to end, for my father to come home, for Petunia to forgive me and for my mother to get better. I wished to be able to feel as happy as I did that New Year's Eve so many years ago…

Half a year has passed since I wished on that snowflake, yet things at home have only been growing increasingly worse. I can probably pin the point from which everything started to spiral out of control, to the day my mother discovered that Dad was having an affair. I was eleven and didn't see it coming. Next thing I knew, he was gone, as if he'd evaporated into the frosty February air. He was a good father; one of my favourite childhood memories is of laughing helplessly at one of his many jokes while helping him build Petunia and I a tree-house in the bottom of our garden. His eyes always held a beautiful sincerity, one so pure that in our bitter and twisted world, many have come to fear. My father's eyes were the deep green of a rainforest, and just as beautiful, sparkling and brimming with integrity. I loved him. But I'll never forgive him for leaving us. It's hard to accept that your hero isn't all that you thought, it means the world you know crumbling around you and having to reconsider your morals, your goals and your dreams. Losing a hero is the opposite of hope. It's been six years and I'm still striving to regain that sanguinity. Unfortunately hope, like peace, isn't something that happens on its own, and isn't something we create for ourselves. Hope is something that we can only give to one another.

So it was with a feeling of relief that I boarded the Hogwarts Express and found an empty compartment on the big scarlet train. What struck me most about platform nine and three quarters the first time I stood in it wasn't the overwhelming and sudden presence of the wizarding world in the middle of London, it wasn't the surge of owls overhead or the huge scarlet beast in front of me, roaring and sending puffs of smoke swirling into the rafters. What stuck with me the most was the radiance in each and every face present at the platform; the joy lighting up the eyes of reunited friends; the love in the voices of the worried parents saying goodbye to their children, smothering them with hugs and kisses. Every time I cross through the ticket barrier into this world, I see a million smiles, and hear the wonderful sound of laughter I miss so much when at home, and it fills up the emptiness inside me. Looking out from my empty compartment, I can feel the laughter around me kindle my heart back into life, and I want to keep every one of those smiles. So with one such smile and a growing sense of hope, I focused my attention on the year to come, after all, this will be my last year, and I'm determined to make the most I can of it. Glancing down, I allowed myself a satisfied smile as I admired the shiny badge glinting on my chest, my head girl badge. This has been my dream for several years now, and I've sure as hell had to work for it. There are people you meet who are needlessly clever without even trying, I am by no means one of those people. I get top grades because I study, and I study hard, and I had very much earned that little piece of gold pinned to my robes. Unfortunately that's the way I've found life to be; you only get anywhere if you work hard for it, and though we all hate it at times, it's only fair.

As that very thought crossed my mind, I heard the door of my compartment slide open, I swivelled round in my seat to find myself staring at a smiling young man, he was not incredibly tall, but his broad shoulders and straight posture gave him an undeniable presence. His dark hair was rumpled and windswept, a couple of strands falling into his eyes as he leant against the doorway, his lopsided grin giving a boyish charm to his otherwise mature, chiselled features. I took all this in within the blink of an eye, my startled gaze was instead drawn to the glint of gold on James Potter's chest. It took me several more blinks before I fully registered its presence, and only then did my eyes fully widen, this was impossible.

"What the hell Potter?" were the only words my baffled mind could manage, however, and to my intense irritation they induced a self-satisfied smirk from the boy in question.

"Like what you see?" I bit my lip, for a split second feeling guilty for staring, I really didn't see how it was even possible that he could get increasingly more good looking with every summer, but his personality defects more than compensated for his looks. I spoke to him with frustration

"I frown upon stealing, I'd suggest you return Remus his badge before he realises." At this his smug grin only widened and my heart plummeted, the jibe had been nothing more than a fanciful wish, and we both knew it. Somehow, James Potter had made Head Boy, though I couldn't for the life of me figure out how. He certainly wasn't one of those people I had just been musing over who earned their achievements. The brutal reality was that I'd be stuck for the rest of the year working with the guy who laughed at the mere idea of work and insisted upon trying to make my life at Hogwarts as miserable as it was at home. As I watched him rumple his hair as he laughed at my apparently bewildered facial expression, I sensed all my positive thoughts evaporating like tiny drops of water on a hot day.

"I actually dropped by because McGonagall asked me to pass this onto you" he said stepping into the compartment and handing me a roll of parchment "it's the password's for all the common rooms" James said this with a huge grin, causing me to roll my eyes in exasperation at his immaturity.

"Anything else you needed to tell me?" I asked, snatching away the parchment and casting him a steely look.

"We have to be in Dumbledore's office first thing tomorrow morning" I nodded and turned my back to him, casting my gaze back at the window, the smiles beyond which had been replaced by undulating green fields. "…and lighten up Evans, it's our last year at Hogwarts, you should learn to live a bit and make the most of it" I could here the grin in his voice, but as I snapped my head back to reprimand him, he was already walking away, a bounce in his step as he turned into the corridor and disappeared into the throng of excited students.

This was exactly what annoyed me so much about James Potter, with him as Head Boy relaxing was the last thing on my mind, I'd have to work twice as hard this year to compensate for his total ineptitude at the job. Besides, he had absolutely no right to tell me to lighten up when he didn't know the first thing about me, it was pretty clear that he was spoilt senseless at home and had never had a care in the world. I sighed heavily as I absentmindedly watched the fields flit by my window as I tried in vain to put Potter out of my mind.

Thanks for looking. Any feedback is, of course, always welcome