Rating: M
Genre: Humor
Summary: Because of Jou, the YGO gang are being thrown into different TV Shows! Will they ever escape Jou's stupidity or the animated and real shows? Only Kaiba can get them back to their world!
Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh, nor That 70's Show or any other TV Show.
Notes/Warnings: Well, this isn't meant as a bashing towards Jou, but I could think of no other title and only he could mess up one of Kaiba's inventions...So...Yeah.
Couples: None!
X
The YGO gang were sitting in front of the TV, watching That 70's Show.
"You know, none of these people are attractive," Mai remarked.
"Yeah, like Kelso...He's really not that pretty," Yuugi commented. They blinked and looked over at him.
"Jackie's hot," Malik said, "but really annoying. I'd like to shoot her in the head."
"You all are idiots. I don't know why I came," Kaiba muttered.
"Then you shouldn't have come, asshole."
"Who are you calling an asshole, Ishtar?" The CEO growled.
"Why, I think I'm calling you an asshole! – ASSHOLE."
"Bastard!"
"Jackass!"
"Fuck-face." Malik smirked then.
"You shouldn't talk about yourself, Kaiba, people might stop liking you."
"Whoever said anyone liked me in the first place?"
"And you're proud of that?"
"Quite a bit."
"Whoever said anyone didn't like you?" Anzu asked, gazing across at the CEO.
(OO)
"Are you hitting on me?" Kaiba asked, looking uncomfortable.
"(-.-) In your dreams," she grumbled, turning back to the TV.
"More like in yours," he muttered, giving her a dark look, turning back to the contraption he was messing with.
"Ooh, what's dat?" Jou suddenly asked, peering over Kaiba's shoulder. "I wanna see!"
"Get away from me, you homo!" Kaiba snapped, jerking the thing away from him. Jou growled and pounced on him, shoving his hand against it.
BEEP!
X
"(o.o) This can't be good..." Bakura muttered to himself, seeing the people from That 70's Show staring down at them. "...This really can't be good."
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU IDIOTIC MUTT! I SHOULD CASTRATE YOU!" Kaiba started to strangle Jou, swearing in all the languages he knew.
"Kaiba, he doesn't look so good..." Ryou began a bit uncertainly. "Chap, he's turning purple." Pause. "He's turning blue." Pause. "Kaiba, you're killing him!"
"Man," Hyde said suddenly, "this is the government's doing." Red, however, could see clearly that the YGO gang were Japanese and that made him skeptical.
"It's those damn Japanese! They just can't accept defeat anymore!" Red burst out.
"Well...We could never accept defeat either, so that might be our problem," Erik commented smartly.
"And your problem is going to be my foot in your ass," his father snapped with a crooked grin.
"...All right then."
"(OO) Wow..." Malik stared up at them, dazed. "I think we're in the TV." He stood up, turned and ran towards the...well, where the camera is supposed to be and jumped only to crash into the sidewalk.
"Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!" Bob and Midge arrived, both grinning. "Wow, Red, you got some nifty little robots here."
"Robots...?" Marik, Bakura, and Yami repeated in outrage. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"
"Hey," Red turned to the three, "shut up, you Japanese."
"They look more...Arabic." Kitty corrected her husband.
"No," Kelso suddenly looked excited. "Oh man, I know who they are! They're the aliens!"
"Kelso – shut up about the aliens!" Hyde snapped at him.
"Yeah," Jackie piped up. "There is no such thing as aliens. When are you going to understand that? You're a cop for God sakes!"
"AH!" He glared at them. "Well, I'll take my theories elsewhere!" He turned to Fez. "I know who they are, they're the aliens."
"I think they are from my country, those three." Fez said, nodding.
"...Where are you from, Fez?"
"That is a very personal question to be asking, Kelso."
"So, hey," Erik spoke to Marik, "where's Bugs Bunny?"
(oO)
"Dear Ra, I think he's coming on to me," Marik whispered to Bakura and Yami. Both nodded, looking at Erik in horror.
"You know...What's up doc?"
"Affirmative," Bakura concluded, backing away.
"Uh, Kaiba, that doesn't look like a good thing to do right now..." Yami said uncertainly, spotting Kaiba sprawled over Anzu, who looked unconscious.
"...Shut up, Yami, just shut up."
"See, they even have Japanese names!" Red pointed out.
"You are racist!" Yuugi declared, bouncing up and down in front of Red. "You don't like us because we're different and that scares you! Well, listen, there isn't anything to be afraid of, buddy! Just because we're not the same color as you or from the same country as you, it doesn't mean you have to be afraid." Yuugi then took Red's hand. "It's okay now. We're your friends."
"What the hell is this little midget's problem!" Red demanded, jerking his hand from Yuugi's.
"You need to understand that he's working out some issues," Marik told him with a bored expression.
"All right," Bob turned to his daughter abruptly. "What did you do, Donna? Are you dating a cartoon?"
"Dad! You know I'm dating Erik!"
"Speaking of him," Marik spoke up again, "how the hell can you love a fucking stick? Look at him! He's as weak as a Ra-damn baby!"
"That's very true," Mai asserted. "I wouldn't even touch a guy like him. I mean, who would even like him? Honestly!"
"You're mean!" Shizuka told Mai.
"You have a squeaky voice, but I never said anything," the blonde told her. Shizuka started to cry then.
"Aww, poor Shizuka..." Ryou said.
Silence.
"Well?" Bakura demanded.
"Well what? I said what I wanted to and I'm satisfied, chap."
"Stop saying chap, you idiot abiou of mine!"
"Abiou?" The other non-animated people said.
"Well, there you have it." Red affirmed. "They're talking Japanese too."
"Konnichiwa," Yuugi greeted. "Red-sama."
"...I told you."
"See, man, it's the government's doing!" Hyde told them all.
"Well, honey, why don't you just...put them in the basement for awhile?" Kitty suggested to Erik. Erik just stared at her.
"...Yes, mom..."
X
There was silence in the basement as the 70's gang sat on the couch and chairs, while the YGO gang stood behind them, looking at each other awkwardly.
"...Damn," Kaiba swore, glaring at his cell phone. "This thing is a piece of shit!"
"Before you completely ruin that," Ryou spoke up as Kaiba raised his arm, "I just thought you should know that cell phones weren't even invented until...Oh, I dunno 2000?"
"Ha, ha," Erik gave a fake laugh, "you're funny. This world will probably be blown up from Darth Vader."
"Erik," Kelso turned to him, "will you shut up about Star Wars all ready?"
"(-.-) Yeah, seriously," Bakura muttered, then imitated Erik: "Ooh, I'm a skinny fag who likes Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars! I'm so obsessed! So, so, so, obsessed!"
(silence)
"I think you're getting meaner, yami," Ryou muttered.
"You think so?"
"Well..." the other glanced at Erik, who not only looked like he was going to cry, but was going to have fit. Either that, or he was planning on pissing his pants. "Yeah."
"Hmm, I don't think so. Not really."
"(U.U) Er...okay then, yami."
"You know what I wanna know?" Jackie spoke up. "I wanna know how it is that these cartoon men – except for the spiky haired guys – are so hot and our men – actual humans – aren't!"
"I dunno," Donna said slowly, "the spiky-haired men are pretty sexy."
"Yeah, and you have bad tastes in men."
"Amen!" Kelso, Fez, and Hyde piped up.
"Shut up!" Erik told them.
"You know what?" Marik leaned over on the screen and took out a pen and peered down at the subtitles, before adding an 'a' to 'Erik'. "Your name is now Erika."
"That's not fair!" Erika whined. "Aww, why does it say Erika on the subtitles!"
"Because you act like a little girl, why else?" Hyde asked, rolling his eyes.
"...How did you do that?" Anzu asked Marik, blinking.
"You mean changed the subtitles? I just went to that TV– " points to TV " – and wrote an 'a' after 'Erik'."
"...You're so dumb," Malik muttered to himself, shaking his head.
"Hey, anyone want to smoke a bag?" Kelso asked suddenly.
"I guess going back can wait."
(Later)
"Dude, there's this car...and it runs on water, man!" Hyde told them.
"Man, will you shut up about that car?" Kelso asked, looking critically at Hyde. "You wanna know something interesting? I went to the mall...and I bought some shoes...And they're cool."
"That's great, man."
"I know a guy that collects shoes," Yami told them, looking stupidly thoughtful. "But I got in a fight with him and he started to collect dirt instead."
"...That is so awesome."
"Erik, honey," Kitty called from upstairs, "bring your friends upstairs, it's time for dinner!"
X
Lorie glanced at the guys of the YGO gang, interested. "I've never had sex with a cartoon before," she whispered in Yami's ear. He blinked and scooted away from her, wide-eyed.
"She scares me, Yuugi," Yami whispered to him, swallowing his meat.
"Yeah, well..." Yuugi shrugged.
"So," Red spoke up with a frown, "what's wrong with you Japanese?"
"(o.o) There's nothing wrong with us," Anzu said.
"Oh yeah? Well, let me tell you something, sweetheart, when I was at war – "
"Blah, blah, blah – who really gives a damn?" Marik grumbled, poking the food. "Is this edible?"
"Well!" Kitty smiled. "This sure is a lively dinner tonight, huh, Red?"
"Oh yeah, lively. It's going to be even more lively when my foot talks with their ass."
"Is he threatening us?" Bakura asked Marik, who nodded.
"I think he is."
"No one threatens this tomb robber and gets away with it!"
"Whatcha doin, Kaiba?" Jou asked, peering at the object that had got them in the show.
"You stay the hell away from me, Jounouchi," Kaiba growled warningly. "I don't need you breaking this when it's just about finished."
"Ooh, what does dat button doooo?" Jou reached out to push it, but Kaiba bit his hand. "YOW! What da hell was dat for, Kaiba?" Jou sniffled, sucking on the bite wound Kaiba made.
"I said to stay away from me, you damn poodle!" the CEO snapped. "And that hand had better have been washed!" Jou merely gave a whine in response like a dog. "Humph."
"...knives, I like knives better," Bakura was telling Marik.
"Nah, guns are better."
"No, knives are."
"Guns are."
"Knives."
"Guns."
"Knives."
"Guns!"
"KNIVES, DAMN YOU!"
"(o.o) They're still arguing about how to kill Red, huh?" Mai asked Anzu, who nodded.
"Kind of a...Petty argument."
"I WANNA TOUCH IT!" Jou lunged at Kaiba.
"JOUNOUCHI!"
BEEP!
Silence.
"Oh, hell," Kaiba muttered, staring at Scooby-Doo and Shaggy. "This is just bull shit..."
Will the YGO gang suddenly start seeking out ghosts? Will they ever return to their world? Is Jou ever going to become smart? Find out on the next chapter of "You stupid mutt!"
X
DIS: (sweat drop) I shouldn't be starting a new fic, but...I can't help it. This was supposed to be a one-shot with just 'That 70's Show', but when I altered the ending...(o.o) Yeah. I wouldn't expect many updates, since this is just a fun little thing I'm doing and I have to find more and more shows (which shouldn't be hard). Anyway, please review and ideas are always appreciated! Adieu!