"Fuck, Lexa! Come on!" Clarke was trying to be quiet, but a part of her needed to be satisfied immediately.
"I'm trying… these jeans are too tight. I don't know why you wanted me to wear them." Lexa was trying to be quick, but she was concerned that what they were about to do was getting to her.
"Your cock looks amazing." Clarke said playfully. It really did.
"Fuck, Clarke, really!? Sometimes I feel like you only want me for my beautiful body."
"Oh my god! Full of yourself much?"
"Come on, love… you wanna be full of me too." Lexa was tying to take her trousers off, but a very horny Clarke was making her task really difficult. The blonde was rubbing her ass on Lexa's cock, meanwhile the brunette was trying to unzip her jeans. "Clarke, stop. We are in a public restroom and anyone can get in any minute, so, patience, love." Clarke stopped suddenly, she put her back on the door and took her knickers off helping and hurrying the brunette at the same time. "That was… clever… Ta! By the way."
Lexa was smiling. They had been together for almost five years now and their sexual life was only increasing. They had been living in a flat near their college, only the two of them. Octavia, Anya and Raven were their neighbours. The plan was the five would live together, but after a very noisy and pornographic weekend, their friends decided to leave the two lovers alone and moved in the flat above them. So, basically they were fucking in each room of their flat… And in every classroom and restroom that they could find at school.
"Lexa, come on, hurry up and fuck me. We haven't got some in… Nine hours." Clarke was pouting.
"I know, I know. And to be fair, you were the one who told me, and I quote 'we are gonna be fine, it's just a weekend trip, two days, I can be still for two days'. So… Fucking hell, ta jeans, about time!" Lexa put down her jeans and briefs above her knees, her cock was standing hard and proud, she put a condom and was ready to rumble. She couldn't stop it, Clarke made her horny as fuck, since they were teens, and now, that they were young adults, it was the same feeling. Love and lust.
"I said that, and I kept my word, I didn't even get myself off. Now, it is Monday, so, we fuck." Lexa kissed Clarke with abandon, her tongue was all over Clarke's mouth, her hands were opening Clarke's blouse and pulling the bra out of her way.
"Have I ever told you how incredibly soft your tits are? And how much I love them?" Lexa put her mouth over one nipple and sucked it eagerly.
"Yeah, a few times." Clarke's right hand was over Lexa's cock immediately. She loved feeling Lexa all excited.
"Clarke… I love you." Lexa was sucking the blonde's nipple, pinching the other one and looking at her so intensely that the blonde felt a river coming down her pussy.
"I love you too. So, so, so, much, that it's incredible. But, now, really, fuck my brains out because I need you… And you have a practise to attend." The blonde smiled and gave the brunette a peck on her lips.
"OK! How do you want me?" Lexa asked, rolling Clarke's skirt over her waist and jerking her cock smoothly with her hand.
"Hard, fast, and from behind." Lexa turned Clarke's back, the blonde grabbed the frame door tight. She knew Lexa, by now she knew her girlfriend would do anything for her, even fuck her every time she asked for it. She felt Lexa's hand grab her ass cheeks with one hand and other one rubbed her cock all over her cunt. "Really, Lexa, you're playing right know? I don't need the foreplay, I'm fucking drenched as it is. So come on, hurry up." Lexa just chuckled and penetrated Clarke hard and fast. It was true, Clarke was really wet, but the brunette was always careful with her girlfriend, she knew she was big and didn't want to hurt Clarke in any aspect of their life. "Fucking hell… You're huge… God, you've got bigger… And… Oh my god!"
"I think… You were saying something… About… Fuck, you're tight… Baby… You're just… Fuck… You were saying… No foreplay." Lexa moved in and out with so much force that made the blonde girl grab the frame door for dear life.
"Shit baby… when did you become that strong?" Lexa stopped suddenly. She was focused in giving the girl she loved all she asked, but, her body has been changing, she'd got stronger, sometimes she forgot that. They were so used to be together for so long that, that sort of things slipped Lexa's mind.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry… did I hurt you?" Lexa was concerned, this happened regularly now. She let herself go and then her strength show and she hurt Clarke, not bad, but the discomfort was there. She hated it. Lexa was thinking just forget about the fucking and focus in the love making, but Clarke was a very dirty girl, and so was she.
"No, no, you didn't! You haven't hurt me. It's just. God, how can I say it without me sounding like an asshole?" Lexa stayed still for a moment. Yeah! They have no time to waste but she wanted to make Clarke cum, not cry. "Move Lexa, please… Having you inside of me it's making me crazy. I need to cum."
"But I hurt you!" Clarke stared moving her hips back and forth Lexa's cock.
"You didn't… Baby, really… You… Oh my god… You're huge… You feel so good inside me… It's just that… I feel you all over me now." Lexa's was getting confident. Her hands and cock were bigger, she, herself was taller and muscular. That's what happens when you play rugby for ten years straight. "You're always sweet and caring… But, Lexa… I need you to fuck me senseless… Now." Lexa was going to... But a noise stopped her. "Lex!" Lexa put her hand on Clarke's mouth to shut her up. The last time someone has caught them in the act was really embarrassing. They were fucking in the building's roof when Bellamy and Raven had had the same idea. Since that day, Bellamy always watched Lexa crotch with some jealousy and Raven always winks at Clarke when someone start to talk about sex.
"Ssshh, baby. Someone is coming." Clarke was about to protest, but the bathroom door opened with force. Clarke moved in surprise clenching her pussy and Lexa's cock felt it. The brunette pressed her hand over Clarke's mouth and bite the blondes shoulder.
"OK, OK, fuck bunnies." Ravens voice was all over the place. "Practise was cancelled, until tomorrow, so if you want to go home and fuck until oblivion, be my guest. And, thanks for making me the winner of fifty pounds. You just can't stop fucking, don't you? You should teach some tricks to Bell, Heda. He's just impressed… I was thinking…"
"Raven, fuck off. I really, really, really, need to cum right now, and Lexa's cock is all inside me… And you have seen it. So, fuck off, please... And close the door." Clarke managed to say that clearly despite the fact that she had the brunette hand on her mouth.
"Quite an image… I'm going… Oh, and Lexa, really, just talk to Bell, he fucks well, and god knows I love him, but he's too delicate, I need some spice in my life… Like Clarke." Clarke moved her hips slowly, making Lexa crazy.
"Yes… I will, now, fuck off!" Raven smiled and walked out the bathroom.
"Thank you Heda, nice fuck!" That was the last thing that Lexa heard. Clarke's pussy was so warm, wet, and tight, that she was losing all coherent thought.
"Baby, move, please…" Lexa moved her hips a little faster, the only sound she heard was their bodies bumping into each other. Lexa was about to take her hand off Clarke's mouth but the blonde sucked the fingers near to her mouth. That was an image to remember.
"Clarke… fuck… I love you… When we get home you're gonna suck my dick… my whole cock, with theses beautiful lips of yours… suck my fingers baby… come on!... shit baby! Shit! Always so tight… so wet… Tell me. Who do you belong to? Huh? Who can make you come like I do? Fuck...My cock is gonna explode inside you." Lexa was losing all coherent thought, the fact that Clarke could give herself to her like that, just made her realise that she was the one… They will be together forever, because they have love, trust and passion.
"You, Lex, I belong to you… Fuck… Just you Lexa."
"God, so hot… Do you wanna come, baby? Do you like feeling my cock deep inside you? I can put my balls in your hole just to feel you're mine… shit Clarke…" Lexa leaned on Clarke's back, her hands left the blondes hips and traveled to her tits and pinched the blonde's nipples, that always worked. Without a warning Clarke cummed hard. "I fucking love you Clarke… I DO… FUCK! Baby you're squeezing my cock so good. I'm gonna cum."
"Fuck… cum with me, love… Oh my god… cum… shit, Lexa…"
They cummed hard. Leaving the two of them trying not to fall. Lexa regained some strength, took Clarke's legs in her hands and sat both of them on the toilet. Lexa was still hard inside the blonde. But in that moment it didn't feel sexual, it fell lovely and tender.
"I love you Lexa." Clarke put an arm over Lexa's neck and leaned on the brunette's front.
"I love you too. So, so, so much Clarke. I can't breathe without you." The blonde smiled. Recently, the brunette was really showing her feelings. When they were in public, alone, it didn't matter, Lexa was confident and vocal. That made Clarke fell more in love with Lexa.
"So, how did you survive the weekend without breathing when I wasn't near?" Clarke joked. In fact, Lexa called her every opportunity that she had, so yeah, it was true, Lexa couldn't live without the blonde. But Clarke couldn't live without the brunette either.
"Thinking of you." Lexa kissed Clarke's neck, the blonde moved her body to made room for Lexa's lips.
"Oh my god… smooth, Heda… really smooth."
"I love you. Let's get out of here. We need to take a shower." Lexa put her cock out of Clarke pussy and took the condom out. Everything with the blonde was simply lovely, even that.
"OK." They tried to clean themselves the best they could and then went home.
Lexa and Clarke were legends in Oxford, they were the IT couple. Everybody was jealous about their relationship. Tons and tons of people tried to break them up, but the brunette was sure of her girlfriend and the blonde also was sure about her. No girl, no boy, no rumor was strong enough, they were Clexa, as Raven liked to call them. They were invincible.
"Babe? Do you know where I put my paintbrush?" Clarke was wearing only a smock; she liked to paint naked when she could, that released her spirit, she told Lexa. That was part true, the other reason was that she wanted to be always prepared for love making and she knew Lexa loved to see her naked.
"Which one?" Lexa was laying on the living room couch, reading a book. She was wearing sport bermuda shorts and a tank top. That sort of weekend, the ones when they worked from home, were Lexa's favourites. It felt so domestic, almost like if they were married.
"The big one." Clarke was beautiful. Naked, with paint stains all over her body, her messy hair. That was all that Lexa needed in her life. Always... OK, don't quote Harry Potter now. This is a precious moment.
"Mmmm… nope… wait… the one that you were using to paint the forest?" Clarke nodded. Her blue eyes scanning the whole room in search for her paintbrush.
"Yep."
"It's in the kitchen." Lexa got up and went to grab the utensil. Clarke was a very messy person, but that was what Lexa loved about her girlfriend, the excitement, the unknown.
"Ta, love!" Clarke kissed her lips with passion. Lexa kissed her back, put her hands on her tits immediately. Lexa's cock got semi hard and Clarke liked it that way. "Want a blow job?"
"Fuck yes! … Wait… I thought you were working." Lexa kissed Clarke's neck and kept grabbing the blonde's tits.
"I am. But… your beautiful, majestic, hard cock, sort of got in the way and I love sucking on it. Making you all hard and waiting for more. Have your balls in my hands. Make you mine. So fucking mine. Just to remind you that nobody can make you come like I do, because I own you." Every time Clarke made those sort of declarations Lexa thought about the future. Children, the house in the corner of the block were she used to live when she was young; have a dog and grow old together. She wanted it all.
"I'm yours. Yours completely. My body, my soul, my heart, my present, my past and my future. All of me, Clarke." The blonde almost cried because of the declaration. Lexa was such a good speaker. Her classes had helped, being an international relations student was making her the greatest orator. The difference was that when she spoke to Clarke everything was from the heart, not from her head, and the blonde could feel her words right through her soul.
"I love you too, Lex. And I'm yours too. You… Are the love of my life." Lexa smiled. Clarke have never admitted that. They were together for five years, and Lexa just fell in love with the blonde harder with a very passing day. She knew Clarke was as in love with her as she was with the blonde. She could seen it in every paint the blonde made, in every sculpture, in every touch, but she wasn't as good with her words. So yeah, this was a very huge moment. And she knew what Clarke was about to do.
"Take off your clothes and sit on the sofa. I'm gonna make you scream my name. I'm gonna make you cum so hard, that you aren't going to be able to walk. You're mine Lexa. You belong to me. All of you. Understood?" Lexa did as she was told. She was sitting on the sofa in two seconds. Commanding Clarke was intimidating, but so fucking hot, just for the way the blonde talked, precum was already dripping from her cock.
"I need you to talk to me. Tell me how good I am… That you love how I suck your cock. That you love everything I do. That you love me. And what do you want me to do. If you're a good girl, I will let you cum in my mouth." Clarke was taking her smock off while she was talking. Her cream white skin was perfect, the little stains of red paint over her body made her look dangerous and sexy. So fucking sexy. "Do you understand?" She was standing in front of Lexa. The brunette knew what was about to come, and she loved it.
"Sha, Wanheda!" Lexa was looking at Clarke's eyes with so much love and trust that Clarke wanted to be gentle and loving, but not this time. This time is going to be hot and fast. They love each other, they have always felt secure and easy with one another. That's why sex was always changing, sweet and long, hard and fast, fast and sweet, long and hard. It was never just sex, it always has been love in all its forms.
"You know… talk… talk all you want now, because… Lexa… I swear… you… won't… talk, nor walk, after this…." Clarke kissed the brunette with abandon, took off her bermudas and the hard cock was released. Clarke kneeled in front of Lexa, smirking and grabbing her dick. She stroked it a few times and then, her mouth was all over her junk.
"Fuck, baby… you're… Oh my God, Clarke! Yes, baby… keep doing the deep throat… God! You keep getting better with age…" Clarke chuckled with Lexa's cock in her mouth, the vibrations made Lexa's junk release pre-cum. "No, really… fuck… touch my balls baby… with your hand… fuck yeah!" Clarke was rough and hot. Lexa watched her girlfriend bobbing her head and looking at her eyes at the same time. And then, she knew… This is forever. The greatest revelations in her life had always come in very strange situations. For example, this one. She has been sucked the life out of her and she realised that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with the blonde. She thought about that in high school and through the years together, but this time, this time seems to be real, so fucking real. She was really quiet now, just her moans were heard.
"Is everything OK?" Clarke stopped and looked directly to her girlfriend eyes. Their love making were always passionate and dirty, Clarke loved it that way, and so did Lexa. But now the brunette was awfully quiet and the blonde was suspicious. That rarely happened, and when it did, they were arguing about something stupid, or they had some heavy things in their mind. The blonde didn't know what was bothering her girlfriend. Lexa had her eyes closed and she was concentrating in something, she knew.
"Yeah! Why?" The brunette smiled, that sweet, naughty smile of hers.
"You are too quiet." The blonde was stroking her girlfriend's cock lightly in case Lexa wasn't in the mood now.
"Yeah, sorry. I kind of have something on my mind." She bent and kissed Clarke on the lips. Her own taste was on her girlfriend's mouth. Lexa pinched Clarke's nipples. "Fuck you are so fucking sexy and naughty. I love you, Clarke Griffin." She kept kissing her and playing with her nipples. "I'm so gonna cum in your mouth… do you like that baby girl? Take all my cum in your beautiful, naughty mouth?" The blonde could only nod. "Good… because now… you are gonna need to work, baby… use your lips and your tits… Use them good, and I'm going to reward you with my thick, warm, creamy cum… You fucking love it, don't you baby girl? Answer me?" Lexa leaned against the couch, she kept pinching Clarke's nipples.
"I love to take your cum… it makes me feel that I'm only yours. That I belong to you."
"You do. You belong to me, Clarke. As I belong to you… Now… suck my head and stroke my cock with your tits… you love it… and I do too." Clarke did as she was told. "Fuck, you are so good with your tits, baby. I'm not the only one who's got bigger… Let me… Let me… Shit… I'm gonna explode… Touch my balls, let me grab your boobs… Fucking hell… Yeah… Like that… I love you… Oh my god… Do that… Yeah… Lick my head… Yeah… Baby girl… You are so naughty… Yeah… Do you like it?" Lexa bumped her hips faster and rougher, she was about to cum and Clarke knew it. So the blonde made her move. She stopped licking Lexa's cock, the brunette opened her eyes without stopping her hips, her cock was between Clarke's boobs, the feeling was so soft and so good that Lexa was about to cum any minute. Clarke kept stroking Lexa's balls and then… She said it.
"I love your cum in my mouth… Cum in my naughty mouth… I've been a good girl… Daddy."
"OH MY GOD… BABY GIRL." Lexa lost it completely. That Lolita atitude was her new kink. Clarke was so good at that. She's got the innocent look, the amazing body, the sweet eyes, the dirty personality, the naughty behaviour. Talking about that, the blonde swallowed all Lexa's cum.
"Fuck, so much cum… How do you feel?" The blonde sat next to her girlfriend. She hugged her waist and kissed her shoulder.
"You… Are… Gonna be… The death to me." Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke's cheek. "But it's gonna be the sweetest death in the history of deaths." Clarke laughed.
"That new kink is working. Why we didn't try it earlier?" The blonde asked sweetly, she kept her hand over her girlfriend's abs.
"Don't know. But come on! … Teenagers with daddy kink, isn't it a little… Weird?"
"Probably." Now Clarke was the one thinking profusely. She kept silence for a couple of minutes until her girlfriend recovered from her orgasm.
"What is it babe? You are thinking too loudly." Lexa put her arm over the blonde's shoulders and hugged her tightly. "Are you OK?" Lexa grabbed her top and cleaned Clarke breast. She did cum a lot and her girlfriend was covered with the white, thick substance.
"Yeah! I was thinking… Will it be always like this?" Lexa didn't understand. She finished cleaning her girlfriend and kissed her shoulder. Clarke did what she promised, the brunette couldn't move.
"What like this? Me cumming so much? I hope not… I really would die. There's a limit, you know, love? I mean, I'm totally over the top, I've got so much stamina but I'm not that super." They laughed, kissed and then relaxed. Just like that, just happy to be there together.
"Are we always gonna be that horny all the time?" Always, Clarke has never been the kind of girl who thought of eternity. After what happened with Collins and Jaha she thought that nobody would ever want to be related to her. The disgusting aristocratic slut. People would probably want to have fun with and then just forget about her. She was a very sexual person and her position was appealing because of her money. She enjoyed sex, she had fun, but she wasn't so sure about love. Then Lexa came into her life and her heart, and now she's here; naked next to her long time girlfriend thinking about the way to still make love to her when they will be grey, old, and full of grandchildren.
"Fuck I hope so… You keep calling me daddy and that's for sure." Lexa kissed Clarke's head and hugged her.
"Do you remember when I got that fine stud kink?" The blonde asked.
"Yeah, I do. I had no shirts left, you just ripped all of them. And my slacks. All of them with cum stains." Lexa laughed. "It was a nice thing that you changed it to the much cheaper tank top kinky. And the spanking… So much spanking… Red, beautiful, hot ass… Fuck Clarke. If I wasn't so worked up right now, I would spank you until you cum." Lexa kissed Clarke with abandon. Yeah, randy couple they were. Forever.
"So…" Clarke sat and watched Lexa in the eyes. "When we've got children, will you keep your daddy kink?" Lexa was thinking hard, she didn't answer right away, probably she didn't want kids, or be with Clarke for that long. The blonde got nervous, she didn't want to lose Lexa, not now, not never, but she was doubting about the future.
"Fuck no… Imagine me fuck your brains out and our little kid wakes up and screams scared 'daddy' instead of 'mom'. The trauma, my poor cock would never recover… like… ever. No more sex, no more sweet sex, rough sex, no kinky sex… NO. MORE. SEX. Soooo… nope. Can you imagine that? Us, without sex? We would do what? Get to know each other? Go to the movies? Read? Live together? Cook? Walk on the park? Fuck no… Like… like a movie couple?" Clarke chuckled and kept stroking her girlfriend's abs.
"We are like a movie couple. Or that's what our schoolmates think."
"Yeah, well! We are the most beautiful fucking couple, insanely sweet, hot and very, very, very monogamous. But, you and me know, if we are anything like a movie couple, that movie must be porn, because, that's no way that any Hollywood movie couple do what we do… and we do it sooo fucking good." Clarke was suddenly straddling Lexa. "What?" The brunette asked her girlfriend. Clarke had that look in her eyes, the look of passion and tenderness, the one that was only for Lexa.
"So… we're gonna have a boy?" Clarke smiled and Lexa laughed.
"That was all that you heard? I was comparing us with Shorty Mac and Sasha Grey, when she was active. Like, the top of the fucking top."
"A boy." Clarke repeated. Lexa kissed the blonde's lips tenderly.
"Yes, a boy and a girl. To be fair. Equality is important." Lexa smiled.
"You sure?" Clarke asked. Lexa frowned.
"Yeah! You don't want to have children?" The brunette was getting anxious. Talking about the future when you are eighteen and seen it so far away is less scary that talking about it at twenty two, when everything seems near and real.
"I do. Two… two kids, yeah! Sweet." Clarke gave Lexa a peck on the lips and then she put her smock on. "Need to work. Nice talk." Clarke was about to leave when Lexa called her.
"So what? Are we the best porn movie couple ever or what?" The brunette couldn't move, but she was happy. "Like Shorty Mac and Sasha Grey?"
"Fuck them… we are way better." Lexa laughed out loud.
"We sure are." The brunette closed her eyes, she deserved a nap, her girlfriend really worked her up.
"Heda?" Lexa was reading a huge book about the importance of the international law. She loved what she was doing right now. Studying was always easy, playing rugby was always helping and relaxing, her friends were like her family and Clarke was just perfect. She had it all.
"Raven." But sometimes, everything good simply vanish. She shut her book, closed her eyes and prayed to any God for Raven to forget their talk. She was deep inside her girlfriend in a public restroom, why would Raven thought that she meant what she said?
"Please!" But no, Raven was determinate to talk about his boyfriend cock and rough sex. Activity that the Latin brunette performed with her best friend, Bellamy Blake. Not weird at all.
"No fucking way." Raven was getting closer and closer and Lexa wanted to run to the hills and never come back.
"You promised." Yeah well. That happens when you are a horn-dog, Heda. Keep the love making to your house. It's all that you have to do. Your house, your wife, your… Wait… What? "Lexa you DID PROMISE!"
"My cock was up my girlfriend's pussy… What would you expect?" Lexa whispered. She was studying when a very cheerful Raven sat next to her. "I totally thought that what you said was a joke, Raven. Come on! I don't want to talk about it."
"Keep your word, or I'm gonna make Clarke stop having sex with you" Raven said offended.
"Yeah! Good luck with that." Lexa chuckled. The blonde and her without sex. Not an option.
"You two are sex addicts." Lexa smiled. The mere mention of her girlfriend's name made her feel happy and sappy.
"No. I'm a Clarke addict. There's a difference." And of course it was. Sex addicts were just willing to satisfy their needs. Lexa, was only satisfied when she was with Clarke. Only Clarke. Before her, the brunette could fuck the whole town and never feel that was enough. With the blonde, the simply act of laying on the grass holding hands was enough to make her calm and feel loved.
"Heda please… I need that in my life… We used to be like that. But, Bell… You know I love him. He is sweet, caring, respectful, nerdy, handsome and fucking hot. But… he has been… too careful when we f…"
"I don't wanna hear this." Lexa took her things and left the library's table. It was her spot, a very far, far table in the open area. It made her feel free, until now that she felt like a caught deer because her friend's persistence, so she ran, but unfortunately Raven was behind her.
"Lexa, come on… he… we… argh! Please…"
"Nope." Lexa wasn't stopping, she was running from Raven. She and Bellamy were best friends, since the Finn incident, no, before that, since that day.
A very unlucky, fifteen year old Lexa was walking under the pouring rain before a practice. When she was changing, accidentally, she dropped her towel and her very well kept secret was out. The captain of the team made fun of her and swore that she will be out of the team in no time. So the brunette ran until she couldn't feel her feet. Bellamy found her by accident, she told him what had happened, because, if she was going to be kicked out of the team and surely from the school, what the fuck, right? But Bellamy assured her that it won't happened, that she was special, but not for her cock, she was a great athlete, a fearless player and Nia was jealous of her, because Lexa was a so much better rugby player than the captain. And Bellamy was right, since then they had been inseparable. Including Lincoln, they were the three musketeers, together until the end… except… "We don't talk about our junks, Raven… it's… weird."
"Think about a very frustrated Clarke… huh? Think about the times when you are gone and she just can get off watching porn and don't cum right."
"Nope… Raven, come on! Bell is my..."
"Bro. I know. So help your bro to make his woman cum properly."
"Mate, come on…"
"Lexa, please. You two talk about sex all the time."
"We… never talk about sex with you all… I mean… never… you are… we are respectful, you are our girlfriends… that's not right, is no about sex with you all, it's about love."
"I… I never thought… wow! OK… just… I don't know what to say."
"Talk to him."
"I did, but he… fuck… he's scared… he doesn't want to hurt me."
"Well, now you have it."
"But he didn't… it's complicated."
"I bet."
"Stop for a fucking minute. Let me talk. He doesn't listen to me and I need someone to talk to him."
"Fuck, Raven! OK. Let's go to the terrace." Lexa knew that she was overstepping the whole bro code, but Raven was her friend too. She would just listen and say nothing, then, like bros, she would talk to Bell, and say something like Mate… just… go… do it like… No, she would never could do that. "Shoot"
"A year ago, Bell and I, we had the best sexy, naughty, impressive sex life. We were like Clarke and you, just less dirty talk and more spanking. Until Clarke's got her kink…"
"You know about that?" Lexa was shocked, that was private.
"Ppppfff! Relax, Heda. Clarke told me she wanted to try once I told her I liked it."
"Mate! This is too much."
"OK… well, we were… you know, doing it, but… Bell has changed, you know? He's getting muscular and stronger. So, that time he spanked me harder that we were accustomed to, and I screamed, not for pleasure but for pain and he went mental. He just stopped. We didn't get off. I was crying, he was crying. I told him that it was an accident, that I love him. I knew that he would never hurt me intentionally. So, after that we were playing and all and he looked my ass and it was a very purple, a very big bruise there, so he simply stopped having sex with me. Two months without sex. He was caring, careful, lovely, but scared with his own strength. After two months we started having sex again, but no the passioned kind, but the sweet one. Slowly. You know that one, were you connected not just your body but your soul. And, don't get me wrong, I loved it. But sometimes I need the spanking, the bitting, the rough…"
"OK"
"Look. I'm not gonna lie to you. Clarke has told me you two are wild and rough. And Lexa, Bell is… longer than you but not as thick…"
"Please don't talk about my mate's junk."
"I just gonna point out that if you can fuck Clarke that good, Clarke's words not mine, you can talk to Bell and tell him that is OK… That he probably needs just to adjust the strength or something."
"Raven… it's not… Bell is way stronger than me… I mean, he's slower but stronger. He loves you, he doesn't want to hurt you. It's as simple as that."
"But he didn't hurt me. Not on purpose. I just… I need him trust me again, because I trust him."
"What do you mean?"
"I think he believes that I can't handle it anymore, but I can. I love him and I trust him. I need him to know that, I need him to trust me. That he knows for sure that if I don't feel comfortable with something I will tell him, but he needs to stop trying to protect me from himself. I need his trust back. I need to know that he thinks of me as an equal, not as a girl who is so delicate and scared that she can't protect herself. Because Heda, I need a partner, a mate, not a protector. I need MY Bellamy, the one who was never scared of doing crazy things with me because he knew that I could do anything, that we could do anything together."
"Raven! This issue is more complicated than just talk about how long or thick we are."
"I know… but since that day at the roof… he started to be more… like before… but then he backed out… I don't know… maybe a pep talk, just that. Please, Heda!" Raven was in distress, but Lexa didn't really want to talk about sex, Bellamy and Raven, in the same sentences, nevertheless with her bro. But, maybe, she could… just do that. Not getting all the details, but talk about why Bell was felling off.
"I'll try. No promises, just… I'm gonna burn in hell." Lexa covered her face with her hands. How could she do that? It's a very personal topic. They were mates, but… She was Raven, Bellamy's Clarke, or something like that.
"Ta, Lex! Really, I would talk to him as well, just… Thanks… and… how big are you?" Lexa stood up, grabbed her things and walked away from Raven.
"Don't push it, Rave… I'm off. See you at practice." Raven just laughed and went to the library.
Heda: Bro. Need to talk.
Bell: About?
Heda: Stuff
Bell: Raven?
Heda: Yup.
Bell: Fuck! This is going to be weird, right?
Heda: Yup.
Bell: Fucking hell. 30 min. Grounders. Table outside.
Heda: Dark pints. Cool! See ya.
Bell: Yup.
"I don't wanna do this, baby!" Lexa was having lunch with Clarke. They were that kind of couple that did everything together.
"I know." The blonde kept eating her sandwich. "Your cooking skills are improving. I'm shocked. Is there anything that you can't do?" Clarke kissed Lexa's cheek.
"Talk to my mate about his junk?" Clarke chuckled. Lexa was feeling anxious.
"Why?" Clarke was pretty much interested in the topic. She knew her girlfriend was one of the boys and before she came to the picture, those three were basically jerks, punks and womanisers.
"Well, if you haven't paid much attention, I'm not exactly a guy. I mean, I have a PHD, but baby, I'm not… a man." Clarke laughed. She loved Lexa.
"PHD? Really, you're quoting skins, now… Pretty Huge Dick?" Lexa chucked. She was nervous. Really, really nervous. Bellamy, Lincoln and her, they used to talk about sex and chicks, but never about their cocks or their girlfriends. "And why are you so anxious about this? The three of you never compare notes? Hey, even Raven, Octavia and I used to touch our boobs when they were growing. We used to bet about who would get the bigger pair… I won, obviously."
"Of course you did, baby." Lexa kissed Clarke, she couldn't get enough of her. "And no. I mean… we used to talk about… you know… sex and chicks… because… well… we were… that… kind of… you know… I mean… we were young and hot… and…"
"You were assholes that played with little girls' hearts?"
"Right… no… we were assholes that used to have sex with college girls… we were sixteen, they were twenty… no harm… just… God!"
"Really, are we gonna talk about your sex life, before me, that sex life."
"No… no. I have no love life before you. I was practicing, with them… and you don't exactly complain about it."
"I know. It's just. I hate imagining you and other girls. I fucking hate it. You know that."
"I know the feeling." Lexa took Clarke's hand. "But… talking about Bell. How would I do it? Hey mate… just let it go? I really don´t thing that Disney will approve of me quoting them if I'm going to talk about cocks and pussys… you know?"
"You're so cute." Clarke finished her sandwich and sat on her girlfriend's lap. "But you know that sex is not the issue, right?"
"I know. I probably won't talk about our junk. Just, straight to the point… which is?" Lexa looked at Clarke's eyes and smiled. "Trust."
"Yep… trust." Clarke smiled and kissed her girlfriend, so passionately, that she started to get randy. "When are you going to meet, Bell?" The blonde rubbed her ass over Lexa's cock.
"Five minutes. So no funny business." Lexa took Clarke hips and stopped her. "I'm so sorry my love, but I can't do it right now. I'm… nervous."
"I know." The blonde hugged the brunette and kissed her neck. "But your cock is alive." They laughed and hugged some more.
"Your fault. I love you. So, so, so much." Clarke looked Lexa in the eyes.
"And I love you. See you at home." The blonde got up and grabbed her bag.
"Yep. Just… wish me luck." Lexa got up and hugged Clarke's waist.
"Good luck. Go get him, tigger…. But not… not like that." Lexa laughed and kissed Clarke's cheek.
"See you at home, love."
Bellamy was sitting at their spot. He looked troubled, Lexa knew that something big was going on if his pint was untouched. Lexa took a deep breath and walked to her friend. She didn't want to do that, she really didn't, but her friends were in trouble, they were unhappy and if she could help, she would.
"Bell. Sup?" Lexa sat across from him. She really cared for her friend, but… sex, Raven… cocks… that was too much to ask.
"Heda. Fancy meting you here. Here… a pint… I don't want to be sober." Lexa smiled to her friend and took a large gulp.
"Me neither. But… I've got a mission… so…" She took another gulp. She didn't know how to commence.
"I love her. I love her so much that is hurting me that she doesn't even care that I care about her well being. You know?" And that was it. Bellamy needed his friend, this was about him, not just Raven.
"She cares. She talked to me about it, so she cares." Bellamy's eyes were unfocused, he was so deep in thoughts, Lexa thought that he was high. "She fucking loves you, Bell. She really does. It's just… I mean… what she told me… you had been… off"
"I know. I know." Bellamy was so anxious. Lexa has never seen him like that.
"What's going on, bro? This is bigger than your tool, I guess." She tried to joke about it. Bellamy didn't respond. This was a very deep shit.
"I hurt her, Lexa." That was all Bellamy said. For a long time nor she, nor him spoke, they were drinking in silence. Yeah, feelings… they were not good at that. Suddenly, Bellamy sat straight and covered his face with his hood. Lexa thought that Raven was coming to check on them, but what makes Lexa enter in her Heda mood was the figure of non other that Ontari Bloodworth.
"What the fuck is she doing here? Does Clarke know about this?" Lexa was silent. Of course this was so much more than their penises. Bellamy only shook his head, he was concentrated in the menu. "Does Raven know?"
"No." That was everything that came out of Bellamy's mouth.
"You want to go?"
"No. Just… give me a minute… just tell me when she…"
"OK." Lexa was watching Ontari walk through the street. What the fuck is she doing in Oxford? The last thing she knew was that Ontari was living her fancy, rich life all over the world. "She's gone… Would you…"
"Did Clarke tell you?" Bellamy was unable to look at Lexa in the eyes. He was ashamed.
"The general thing. Ontari being, you know… I'm sorry, bro. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable." Lexa took the rest of her pint and was about to go for another, when a big, strong hand grabbed hers.
"Can we go inside, please?" Lexa nodded, took Bellamy's hand and found a table at the end of the pub. They sat in front of each other. "She was… odd, you know? … She was fucking intense, Lex… really fucking rough. Not… not the playing, loving hard stuff… she was… fucking mental. I… stopped having sex for three months after her. I was so confused… some sort of kinks are just not for everybody." Lexa looked at his friend. She understood. Sex and loving meant to have some trust in the other person.
"She tried to do the same thing to me. One night at a gala. Clarke punched her in the face." Lexa smiled, Clarke was her saviour, her only one. "She protected me." Bellamy smiled and nodded.
"She tried to warn me. I thought that she was bluffing, you know? Ladies and Lords being sex maniacs. Come on! Compared to them, what we couldn't do, right? We were the fucking grounders. We fucked collegr girls before, crazy ones. Did you remember the UCL party?" Bellamy chucked and Lexa smiled and nodded.
"Those girls were savages, mate! My cock hurt for almost a week. I hadn't fucked like that in my whole life… until…" She kept quiet, this was not the time to talk about the sex qualities of her girlfriend.
"I know… I heard, by the way… you almost broke the wall." They laughed.
"You certainly did broke the bed, that poor girl was… so fucking sore. She walked funny the entire day after." Yeah, they did talk about fucking, but discussing their love making with their girlfriends, was another topic. Just, it was wrong.
"She asked for it." Bellamy shook his head and looked at the park in front of them. "I thought that she was a pillow princess, no harm in there… So she took me to the stables, handcuffed me and started to hit on me with a whip. I mean, I could have known something was off when she took out a pair of handcuffs off her purse… but, I was so fucking randy, mate! My cock brain-blocked me… Fucking fifty shades of bullshit… Everything was OK. I was having a laugh and shit. Then she told me that it was my turn to play with her… but she will lead the action… I thought, yeah, I mean… I broke a fucking bed, if she wanted to be wild, I would give her what she wanted… But… fuck! A little spanking is always fun… fuck hard, in and out… your hips mashing the girl's ass… cool… but… she was… fucking crazy!" He took a gulp of his pint and then asked for another. He just choked the beer and looked at Lexa in the eye. "Mate, I need to get drunk… what I'm about to tell you it's… I need an advice, but I need to be drunk to ask you." Lexa nodded. This was a really big shit. "Call Linc. I need all my mates."
"Why didn't you tell me? About Bloodworth" Lexa felt left out. If that topic was a sensitive one, she should know about it, right? Was she that stupid?
"You were dealing, very poorly, I must add, with the Costia situation. I understood." Yes she was. That didn't make Lexa feel better.
"I'm sorry, mate." She whispered. Another quality of Clarke was that she put her friends first. Lexa was so lucky. When she was with the model, her ex always demanded attention 24/7. And Lexa was so stupid that she gave it to her no matter what. When Costia dumped Lexa, the brunette was a wrecking ball full of rage and bitterness.
"I know. Good thing Clarke was there to save you." Bellamy winked at her. Yes, the blonde did. "Are you ready Lexa?" The brunette only nodded. No matter what, Bellamy was her mate. "She… Bloodworth… She likes… to… be… well… rough and loveless… just fucking but careless…"
"Did she made you eat something? The golden shower thing? Fuck, Bell… Stop… stop… We… wait… Let me talk to Clarke, we could go to mine and get fucked there and talk." Bellamy nodded, he was pretty sober to have this conversation.
"Hi, love! Yeah, I'm with him. No, we are not crying… Clarke… no… Yes, I held his hand, I'm a girl, and I'm allowed to do that, he's my mate… He's Bell, love! I'm not going to go all Lannister shit… Oh wow! Now who's the GOT nerd? … I know… I know… So, listen, are you gonna be home soon? Not now, Clarke… It's about Bell… I think we need to get fucked, then talk… God! Yes, we are that kind of friends… So can we have the house? … Brilliant… OK, OK… Wicked… Love? God, Clarke… what? Lincoln has no hair to braid… Maybe Bell… Like mine, I see what I can do but his hair is to short… hahahaha… nice one… I don't know, but I'm not really sure about being sober… OK… I'm missing you right now." At that comment, Bellamy mocked Lexa and mimicked her kissing Clarke, the brunette gave him the finger and muted a very quite "fuck you" to her friend. "OK… I know… See you… Love you… Bye." Bellamy was amused with his friend behaviour. "What?" Lexa stood up and walked out of the pub, leaving a smiling Bellamy behind, whom quickly followed her.
"Who would had thought that the bloody, scary, wild, violent, uncompromising, Lexa "Heda" Woods, would surrender and become a sick puppy in love with Clarke Griffin?"
"Believe me… I knew the first time I saw her." Lexa smiled and they kept going.
Bellamy and Lexa were at her flat, loaded with beers, scotch, rum, snacks and a lot of time, weekends were a blessing, a little to do… well… just no massive amount of papers to do. Lexa opened the door and was ambushed by a blonde who jumped into her arms. Good thing Bellamy was carrying all the beverage. Clarke didn't care her friends were in her apartment, or hearing the giggles they were making, Lexa was there, trying to help their mates, despite her very tight agenda and her midterms next week. That was why she loved her so much, and the fact that they would not see one another for the next hours was enough to make her jump in her girlfriend's arms. Lexa let Bellamy in and she carried Clarke away to the hall. The blonde's legs and arms were tightly enclosed at Lexa's neck and waist. The brunnette broke the kiss when she felt her back hit the other wall.
"Well! Hello to you too, my love." Clarke pecked Lexa's lips and tried to get down, but the brunette prevented.
"I was just… waiting for you to tell you that I love you." Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke's lips.
"I love you, too. And… I'm gonna miss you tonight. But I have bro duties. I'm terribly sorry… but I promise to make it up to you." Clarke hugged Lexa.
"You bet your sweet ass you will." Lexa kissed Clarke's neck. The blonde looked at her girlfriend in the eyes and smiled at her.
"You are a good friend Alexandria Woods."
"I try to be."
"And an excellent girlfriend." Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke again.
"I know." They laughed, Lexa put Clarke down and they walked to their apartment. Raven and Bellamy were at the balcony, Octavia and Lincoln were snogging in their couch. "Bro, really, that's my couch." Lincoln broke the kiss and smiled at her friend.
"My bad, Heda." Octavia sat on his boyfriend lap and Lexa sat next to them with Clarke at her lap. "So… we are going to get monumentally fucked?" Lincoln tried to ease the mood.
"Seems like." Lexa smiled and started to talk about rugby and school. They wanted to give Bell and Rave all the time that they needed. After a couple of minutes, Raven entered to the living room and kissed Bellamy goodbye. Octavia and Clarke fallowed her lead.
"I love you." Clarke kissed Lexa one last time.
"I love you too." Lexa said, she saw her girlfriend disappear into the hallway, and then closed the door.
"I would never thought, that we, the grounders, the terrible three, end up being puppies in love. I never, ever, thought that." Lincoln brought the beers and the snacks to the coffee table. "Let's drink to that." So they did… for almost five hours nonstop.
"I always thought that Octavia was too good for me. Did you remember that party... that... the one... that one, Heda..." Lincoln, Lexa and Bellamy were royally fucked. They had a very high tolerance that was why the talk were deleted.
"No... Party? When?" Lexa tried to remember, but it was hard, considering the amount of parties that the trio were attended to. They were really popular.
"Fuck! We are so gone..." Lincoln always had been the funny drunk, the loyal friend, the cool guy, the diplomatic antagonist. "So... I was saying... she is the best thing that ever happened to me... I don't deserve her..."
"Don't be so fucking dramatic, bro. She is so fucking in love with you... I've got diabetes just by looking at the both of you... fucking... disgusting." Bellamy took a gulp from his beer.
"Oh… fuck yeah! We are pretty cute and sweet… But… Raven and you, bro… You are not exactly the worst couple ever… In fact, I guess that you can win a heart eyes competition… really!" Lexa was quietly drinking her beer, she didn't like to be in those sort of conversations, they always made fun of her and Clarke.
"Heart eyes? nnnoooo… no, no, no… commander heart eyes is right over there playing dead… aren't you, Heda?"
"I'm not talking, bro." Lexa kept drinking while Lincoln and Bellamy bursted laughing.
"She… she… Oh my god! … she is not even defending herself anymore… this is gold." Lincoln was laughing so hard that he fell from the couch. "You… hahahahaha… you… mate!" Bellamy was exactly as Lincoln, laughing his ass off, his eyes were watering.
"She just… fuck, mate… I need to catch my breath… that was… You are… you surrendered, like that, because of Clarke?" Yes, she did. It didn't matter, she knew that loving Clarke was the bravest thing that she had ever done.
"Yep… just like that." Suddenly, Bellamy and Lincoln stopped laughing, they sat in their seats and looked at Lexa in the eyes.
"You…" Lexa just smiled. She once told them that the day that she fell in love with someone, would be the day that she would stop fighting. An angry, heartbroken, sixteen year old Lexa said that. She didn't believe in defeat. She was a grounder, they fought until the end. They were bold, reckless, and unstoppable. Now, now Lexa was all that, her past hadn't left her, but she had a future to look forward to, so she stopped for Clarke and her. Lexa smiled.
"Yeah!" She kept drinking. They were exactly at that point where you can be totally honest. "But you were talking about Octavia. You are not that drunk to forget, Linc."
"No. I'm not. I was saying, that I thought that she was out of my league. Do you remember Atom? That little fucker." Lincoln took a sip of his beer.
"Yeah… little punk full of shit."
Bellamy never liked Atom. He was three years older than Octavia. She didn't tell Bellamy that she was dating Atom. The little Blake was only fourteen years old and was trying to learn about the world and love. Atom, was that sort of boy that was only looking for sex and free buzz. He enamoured Octavia for a month, then he tried to have sex with her. They were having a picnic at the hill near the high school, it was a nice place, far away from curious eyes. A lot of people went there for snogging and foreplay. When Atom tried to put his hand over Octavia breast, she simply lost it. The little Blake knew better, she knocked him out, took off his trousers and car keys, and ran away from him. Luckily Lincoln was passing by the hill and saw Octavia running like a maniac. He followed her, just to check on her and made sure she was OK. Octavia saw him and recognised him. She explained what had happened and Lincoln was running to the place where Atom was. That encounter ended with Atom in the hospital, Lincoln hiding in the Blakes house and a very impressed Octavia. Short after that they started dating, not before Bellamy almost beated Lincoln's head off.
"Anyway… fuck him… When I found Octavia running down the hill carrying his clothes I knew that he had done something bad… She… you know… she's an angel… of death…" All of them laughed. "But… but… I mean, she is independent, wild… stubborn… she got that from you Bell. Hahahaha… but she is also loving, and trustworthy… and, by a miracle, she is in love with me… I mean… she… she sees me… not… not just the fuckboy who came from the very bad side of town… not just the cock and the body, or the fucking criminal… She looked at me, and I'm fucking sure… so fucking sure that she sees what I can do even before I see it myself… I mean… I… shit, mate… I love her… Cheers for the fucking Atom and his shitty hands… If it wasn't for him, I would still be looking at Octavia from afar." Bellamy kept quiet.
He was the one who prevented Lincoln to make any sort of move to Octavia. In Bellamy's eyes, it was just wrong that his fourteen year old sister could date his sixteen year old friend. But Octavia had other ideas her mind. She explained to Bellamy what had happened with Atom, and she told her that if he cared for her, he would understand why she wanted to be with Lincoln. Bellamy did. Lincoln, Lexa and him were pretty much fuckers as hell. Always looking for trouble and sex. That was their defence mechanism. The three of them had their issues. Lincoln's mom was a stripper. He never felt ashamed of her, but he was always conscious that he should keep her mom from harm. So when he turned fifteen, he became the most violent bully that his neighborhood could have made. Any person who looked at him the wrong way was almost dead. The ladies loved him for that, a strong, wild, handsome, punk. He was accustomed to have any woman that he desired, he almost became a gang leader, he was smart and dangerous, in his mind, if he could make it there, he would be able to protect her mother better, having all the power that comes with the street life; until he met Bellamy and then Octavia. The little brunette simply took his breath away. She was everything he always dreamt of, savage, unstoppable, and the best part was that she didn't felt threatened by him. In Octavia's mind Lincoln was just another guy. At that time Octavia was a kid, thirteen years old and careless about boys or dates. At first, Lincoln thought that he was close to the brunette because he was friends with Bellamy. But little by little Octavia grew on him. When the thing with Atom happened, Lincoln knew that his feelings were stronger than just a friendship. So he changed his ways, he focused on rugby, school and scholarships. He wanted to become a doctor one day, for his mom, to make her proud of him and because all the sacrifice that she did for him, in a way he did it for O too. When Octavia asked him out he accepted but with one condition, they needed to wait to make love until Octavia turned sixteen. She accepted, the rest, was history.
Bellamy and Lincoln met at the gym where Lincoln trained. The Blakes had lost their father in a very nasty gang fight. He, Oliver Blake was a former Gooner, a supporter of the Arsenal F.C, a hooligan. When he was a teen, he and his crew got into a fight with the Headhunters. That time, the fight ended with the two leaders in jail and a very dangerous threat from the Headhunters' leader, Scoot Molligan. Oliver got married with Aurora, he left the Gooners and lived a life almost peaceful for fourteen years, until the final day. Bellamy felt guilty because he couldn't do anything to help his dad. So he swore in his grave that she would look after Aurora and Octavia. He built his body as muscular as he could and became the toughest fighter he could ever be, for his family. Lincoln and Bellamy came from a common ground. A very hard life. But they were always focused in being better and didn't let anything fuck up their loved ones. When they met Lexa at high school, they saw in her another lost mate who needed someone. Yes, Lexa've got Anya and her parents, but sometimes the only thing that somebody needs is your own crew. They welcomed her with open arms after Lexa's quarrel with Nia. All of them, with their shitty life became best friends.
"You know I was a sucker because I knew your way to the girls, right? And my sister was a baby, Linc. She was fourteen… for fuck sake!"
"Yes, Bellamy. I know I was bad for her… Mate, come on… we are brothers in law… calm down… twat."
"No, I mean… I… You have never been bad for her… in fact, I guess I was glad that she choose you… You… your fucking heart eyes… I knew you were meant to be when Octavia took care of you when that fucking snob broke your leg… she was… she almost killed him… that is love, mate!" Lincoln smiled. He was the first to change. Octavia helped him. Actually, it was a very good call that she was even more volatile than him. He stopped looking for fights and sex. For him, being with Octavia was the most exciting thing in the whole world.
"Yeah, we are. But nothing compared with the couple made in heaven... Clexa... what a way to slay the couples' goal." Lexa smiled, she couldn't argue with that.
"Yeah!" she just smiled, she couldn't do anything else when the name of her blonde girlfriend was mentioned. "But, come on! If we are realistic, we all are sort of the dream couple... for example... Clarke and I... we are a hot couple because she is a fucking breathtaking dream... I'm… well… stunning, and we are girls... so... perfect lesbian couple... Linctavia here... are the very cliché interracial hotties... and Braven here, are... the boring straight golden couple...so what? We are in love, whipped, and drunk." Lincoln and Lexa bursted in laughter, Bellamy in the other hand was looking at the space.
"I love Rave with all that I am. I would give her anything that she asked me to. I will never be able to repay her for what she did to me... I was all cocky and cared about no one but my mom and Octavia… So when the Bloodworth situation happened… I was shocked… I knew I was rough… I mean… nothing out of the ordinary… But, the fact that Bloodworth wanted to be mistreated… that was something that I wasn't used to… that sort of treatment… No woman should be treated like… like… It was just, too much for me… I was just a cock… she didn't even know my name… she kept calling me waiter… " Bellamy chocked his beer. It was now or never. When Lexa was about to encourage Bellamy, Lincoln's deep voice was heard.
"Let it out, Bell. We are here if you need us." That sentence made Lexa wonder. How much of the story Lincoln knew? The big guy understood Lexa's silence question. "I don't know much. He spent some time at mine. My mom told me that he could be there. That sometimes you just needed to rest to be good again. She knew about the whole being treated like a piece of meat thing."
"Yeah, she did. I talked to her, but I made her promise not to tell you anything, I was ashamed. Nobody really knows. Clarke was the one who found me. I was naked, handcuffed and sadden... she... pffft! A fucked up end for a horrible night… When Bloodworth stopped hitting me with that whip... I did the same to her, at first the spanking shit was fun, I enjoyed it. Then she made me slap her... I had never hurt a woman before, I didn't do it again, even when they asked for it. I felt a little off. But, it was consensual, so I thought, we were playing, no harm... but... when I got chubby she stared to talk... not dirty talk... she said some things to me... she knew some of the girls we used to had fun with, she said that I only was a cock... that I was a fucking poor boy that just knew fucking... that I was a waste of space... but meanwhile she said that... she kept jerking me off... I was... i didn't know what to do, so I let her talk and she kept playing with my cock. That's when the realisation came. All the time I thought that I was fucking them, when the truth was that they were using me. The fact that Bloodworth said it out loud made me think. I didn't want to be that person, but at that moment it was all that I knew, just fucking not loving. I was in pain, about my dad, about the responsibilities of being the older child, about being strong, and never let people in. Care only for your people, nothing more, do whatever you need to do in order to protect them. So I guess I was deliberately trying to avoid my feelings with fucking. So I promised to myself that night was going to be the last night I would fuck without love." Bellamy stood up and went to the balcony. He grabbed a bottle of whisky and drank. He was lost in his thoughts. Lincoln and Lexa followed him.
"We are here, Bell, no matter what." Lexa told him. The trio were sober now.
"At the same time I was having my breakdown, she took my cock and literally fucked me, hard and fast, she was on top of me. And then she kept asking me to spank her, harder and harder… I did… She wasn't happy until I spanked her so hard that I gave her a very big, very nasty bruise… I tried to stop and apologise. She was bouncing on my cock hard and fast… telling me to stop talking, just fuck her like she deserved to be fucked… Not hot at all… I felt that I was hurting her, but she kept asking me to slap her, so I did, the last spank I gave her, I slapped her so hard that she cried in pain and came all over my cock… It was the first time that I didn't come first. I guess I was ashamed with myself about what she said. She kept fucking me, and by the moment I came I was numb… I couldn't do anything… I guess, she was counting on that. She took off all my clothes, handcuffed me, and left me there. My hands and my cock burned… It wasn't until de next day that Clarke found me. She said nothing, helped me put my clothes on, and drove me home…. She told me that she new Ontari, she had heard about her ways… she acted like that because the drugs that she did were heavy as shit and made her feel invincible, that she could control her own death, that's why she… did that… The 'I want to feel something act.' Clarke and I… we never spoke about that night… What Clarke didn't know was that Bloodworth likes to humiliate people. I found in my trousers' pockets one thousand pounds and a note. It said 'you need to learn how to fuck and stop being a pussy, you worthless shit. That's for your service, if you had been good, I would have paid you more.' I kept the note for a while, that reminded me what I was… A fucking whopper loser with a cock." They were quiet, nor Lincoln nor Lexa knew that. Bellamy was good to keep things to himself.
"That's why you stopped going to the pubs and the parties with us?" Lexa asked.
"Yeah! Actually it was a very good timing that Linc started to home date O, and you were… well…"
"Fucked up about Costia?"
"Yeah! Raven only knows that someone really fucked me… I have never said her name… I could hear and feel Bloodworth all over me… I kept wandering for a couple of days about my life and the things that I had made; asking me if I was a good person, if I was just that, a cock, someone who would never be worthy… Nobody really saw a change, but Raven is… Raven… she is just that clever… With you, mates. I could fool you… you were doing your own shit… but Raven, she saw my confusion and tried to get rid of it… One time I asked her if she thought I was just a pice of meat, she answered me 'well, we all are in a way… but you are an amazing rugby player and very good at math and history, a loyal friend, son and brother, so no, you are so much more than that'. She put back the little pieces of my pride… She gave me hope in myself, again. So… when I got her bruised… I panicked… It brought back the Bloodworth thing… and… Fuck! Seeing Bloodworth here hasn't helped me either… I didn't want to hurt her… but… fuck, mate!" Bellamy, Lexa and Lincoln kept silent for a while, until Bellamy spoke. "Should I… talk to Raven?" Lincoln nodded.
"She thinks it's her fault, you know? She feels that you don't trust her enough." Lexa said.
"But I do… with everything that I am. It just… How do I… explain that to her? She likes… you know… aaagghhh!" Bellamy was getting anxious and drunk again. "When we caught you with Clarke, like… you know… It didn't look like you were… hurting her… it looked…"
"Like making love?" Lexa asked. She knew what to say to her mate.
"Yeah!"
"It always is, with me and Clarke, because I trust her. She will never hurt me on purpose and she knows that I will never do that to her. If she feels uncomfortable with anything, not only with the sexual things, she trusts me so much that she will tell me and I will stop immediately."
"Same with O and me." The trio took a gulp of their beverage.
"I should talk to her." Bellamy said again.
"Yeah! But not now. I think we need to sleep a little. That was intense." The three friends took a couch and tried to sleep.
"I love her." Bellamy told them. "But how do you tell the love of your life that sometimes you just don't want to hurt the future mother of your children? I mean…" The trio was out of the world after that statement.