The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has been arrested for hazing! Now I'm not crazy about this trend going on about people doing horrible things to other people in order to initiate them into some club or something. (Surprise, surprise, cheerleaders are at the top of the list. Watch the news.) As I'm watching the news and getting disgusted at what some sick idiots would do…A light went on in my head. I think you see where I am going with this.
A Hazy Issue
The majority of students walked into the office of Charles Xavier. "Professor," Kitty said with an air of authority. "On behalf of the students of the Xavier Institute we'd like to file a formal complaint."
"Oh this ought to be good," Logan snorted. He was there with Xavier and Ororo. "A complaint against what?"
"Hazing," Kitty said. She showed them a petition. "We have an official petition signed by most of the students here saying that we all want it banned from the grounds of the Xavier Institute."
"Well…" Xavier was surprised. "This is surprisingly mature of all of you. What brought this on?"
"The six o'clock news and the latest Lifetime movie," Rogue answered.
"Oh…" Xavier realized. "There has been quite a lot of that hasn't there?"
"We all had a meeting and we agreed that our lives are hard enough without putting each other down," Kurt said. "We agree that forcing someone to do hazardous and degrading stunts in order to join something, well…it's not worth it."
"Yeah," Tabitha said. "I mean you shouldn't have to force someone into an uncomfortable situation in order to bond with them."
"Does that include the time you dragged me off the Institute grounds after we got grounded?" Kurt gave her a look. "And I ended up on probation?"
"That was not hazing, that was a date," Tabitha said.
"Reason not to hook up with Tabitha Number Sixteen," Roberto grumbled. Tabitha gave him a look.
"Can we get back on track here?" Logan said. "Okay what's the catch?"
"The what?" Rogue asked.
"The angle. What angle are you kids cooking up or trying to get out of?" Logan folded his arms.
"Logan," Ororo gave him a look. "How can you say that?"
"Because I know these sneaky little slackers," Logan said. "Trust me, there's an angle!"
"There is no angle here!" Bobby said.
"Sure there isn't," Logan groaned.
"Logan I am sure that the students decided this policy with a mature set of values and sound judgment," Xavier told him.
"Wanna bet?" Logan asked. "Fifteen will get you thirty they've cooked up some scam."
"They have not," Xavier told them.
"This policy we've written here expressly bans any form of hazing done by any student and or faculty member," Kitty showed Xavier the petition.
"Especially a faculty member," Rogue glared at Logan.
"Here we go…" Logan let out a breath. "What did I do now?"
"We're just trying to stamp out hazing one school at a time," Kurt said.
"And what better school than this one!" Bobby agreed.
"But what does that have to do with us?" Logan asked.
"You're kidding?" Rogue asked. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"What?" Logan blinked.
"Do you remember the first time you shoved us New Mutants into the Danger Room?" Amara asked. "You don't call that hazing?"
"Oh come on," Logan groaned. "It wasn't that bad!"
"Not that bad?" Ray shouted. "I still have nightmares about the buzz saws!"
"Yeah Logan," Kitty agreed. "I remember my first Danger Room session was like super scary! I mean if it's bad to initiate someone into something with bodily fluids and duct tape I'm pretty sure giant hammers and flame throwers aren't that good either!"
"I know I peed in my pants my first time," Ray moaned.
"What's going on?" Scott walked in with Jean. "Are we having a meeting? It's not about me is it?"
"Boy Scott your paranoia level's gone all the way to nine hasn't it?" Tabitha quipped.
"We're talking about getting rid of hazing at the Xavier Institute," Rogue said.
"Including insane Danger Room sessions," Kurt added.
"I knew it!" Logan growled. He looked at Xavier. "You owe me thirty bucks!"
"Oh boy…" Ororo sighed. "I thought all of you understood the value of training."
"You thought wrong!" Logan said. "Told you they were slackers!"
"We're not talking about getting rid of training," Rogue said. "Just the insane sessions run by you know who!" She glared at Logan.
"Especially when someone first gets here," Bobby agreed. "I mean you think that it's a coincidence that with all these new mutant sightings no one wants to send their kids here?"
"Or that Jubilee and Rahne were sent away after their families found out about the Danger Room?" Kitty gave the adults a look. "If I was a parent I would seriously like think twice about sending my kid to a school where they have to dodge lasers all day!"
"It was not all day! It was just a few hours!" Logan snapped. "And those lasers were mostly set to stun!"
"Uh Logan you're kind of helping their case here," Jean coughed. "Maybe you should let someone else talk?"
"Look we're not saying training isn't necessary," Rogue said. "But some forms of training we can do without! A mutant first discovering their powers is scared enough when they first get here. What you should do is ease into it. You're supposed to let them get used to their powers first."
"You don't shove them into a room filled with buzz saws and flame throwers and giant laser guns blasting at you all over the place!" Ray shouted. "And don't get me started on the metal tentacles!"
"Especially on that student's first day!" Tabitha agreed.
"Hazing! That is hazing!" Amara said.
"Aren't we forgetting something?" Logan asked. "Are you all forgetting that on that very same first day you blew up the Danger Room so bad we had to shut it down for a week to repair it? And the walls on the East side?"
"It was traumatic," Bobby said.
"Ice Cube after the session you iced up the hallway and turned the boys' changing room into a skating rink!" Logan barked.
"Post traumatic stress disorder," Bobby replied.
"That's also the reason why I put sugar in Scott's gas tank," Tabitha added. "I didn't know what I was doing."
"That was you?" Scott yelled. "I thought that was the Brotherhood!"
"Scott, focus…" Jean sighed.
"Scott, Jean don't you like remember your first time in the Danger Room?" Kitty asked.
"Actually I don't remember most of it," Jean muttered. "It was so traumatic I think I erased part of my memory. And you're right Ray, those metal tentacles were overkill!"
"Where do I sign on this petition?" Scott asked.
"GET OUTTA HERE!" Logan roared. The students scattered.
"I told you it wouldn't work!" Rogue shouted.
"Well it was worth a shot!" Bobby said.