"Hey Kurt...Liberace called. He wants his pants back!"
Kurt turned around slowly. He was pretty sure he recognized that voice, but he wanted to be absolutely certain before he tore into the person who'd dared insult his pants.
His suspicions were, indeed, confirmed.
Did Artie Abrams just make fun of his pants? Really? Mr "I have an ugly sweater vest for every day of the year?"
So many comments popped into his head, that he didn't even know where to start.
That day, Artie was wearing a black vest with brightly coloured shaped all over it. It reminded Kurt of the Teletubbies, and he shuddered at the very thought. It was just wrong. So, so wrong. What was he thinking when he bought things like that? Was he thinking at all?
Kurt mused to himself that maybe Artie was colour blind, but quickly dismissed that when he thought of all the conversations they'd had that proved that clearly was not the case.
He looked down at his pants.
Yes, maybe they were a bit flamboyant, and had too many sequins (if there was such a thing as too many sequins), but Liberace? Seriously? It's not like he was wearing a gigantic sequined cape with feathers on it!
He knew he had to say something...but what?
"If I have to give these pants back, then you need to return your vest to the Teletubbies' costume department!"
Why did he say that? Did anyone else besides the intended target hear him, Kurt Hummel, say the word "Teletubbies?"
"...Teletubbies?"
Apparently Artie was thinking the same thing.
"Your vest. It looks like something from the Teletubbies."
Artie just stared at him.
"Actually, I bought this vest because I thought it was reminiscent of the artwork one might find on the planet Alderaan...before it was destroyed by the Death Star."
Kurt didn't know how to respond to that.
"Alderaan" sounded familiar. Star Trek? Star Wars? It had to be one of those nerd things.
Rather than say the wrong thing, Kurt decided to drop the whole conversation. He knew that, no matter how he responded, it would be the wrong answer. If he had said something about Star Trek it would have been from Star Wars, and vice versa.
Should he make an excuse to leave? Should he forget the excuse and just walk away?
Before Kurt had a chance to do anything, Artie, well aware of the fact that Kurt probably had no idea what he was talking about, smiled to himself and wheeled away, pleased with the fact that he had rendered Kurt Hummel speechless.
A/N: just a little oneshot based on something Artie mentioned in the chapter of All My Dreams with the same name as this story. If you haven't read that...you really should, because it's my favorite story I'm working on at this time, along with the companion piece, The Smile on Your Face. Scariest thing about writing this? Teletubbies is recognized by the spellchecker on my iPod Touch, where I wrote this. It even suggested it as I started to type it. It's a word I KNOW I have never used before...on here or anywhere else! Also, for the record, I love Artie's sweater vests, but I know that Kurt does not, and thought it might be fun to write this from that point of view. Would people be interested in seeing more oneshots spin off of All My Dreams and/or The Smile on Your Face? Let me know! And now, after another ridiculously long author's note, I leave you. DryadSpeaks over and out. Oh, and also...obviously I do not own Glee, the Teletubbies (THANK GOD), or Star Wars.