「You are my sunshine」
For most people, a day started at dawn, with the warm sunrays hitting on their windows, illuminating their faces.
For Agni, loyal servant to the 26th son of Bengali's king, a day started way earlier, when the skies were still dark and the whole world was seemingly at peace.
Except his mind. That cruel being that seemed to enjoy reminding him that, for having committed so many sins and having hurt so many people, he didn't deserve to even dream of serving a god like Soma. He would wake up gasping and with the bed sheet sticky with sweat, his mind plagued by nightmares where he was still Arshad…
Agni sighed in relief towards reality, the soft breeze that made its way through the semi-open window caused him chills on his sweaty body. He grimaced at the feeling of being dirty, because that sweat was not produced by hours of serving his god, but rather by the fragility of his mind that was so naïve, distrusting Master Soma's gentleness.
He decided there was no use going back to sleep when he was already up and going, even less knowing that trying would only cause him more restlessness, like it did every day.
He stretched on his bed and got up, he had so many thing to do that day and wasting a single second would be considered blasphemy. His butler aesthetic would not allow such thing.
The first thing he had to fix that day was the soft breeze that might as well cause him pneumonia; he walked towards the window stifling a yaw, his brain still lacking some oxygen.
And when oxygen arrived, so did consciousness.
Agni didn't remember having opened the window at all the day prior.
He inspected the border of the window carefully, hoping to take notice of something that could tell him it had been forced. Dust, a small thread fallen from the clothes, anything…
When he didn't find anything important, he sighed and closed the window, running the bolts across just to be sure.
He didn't notice the slightest of scratches in one of the bolts.
After taking a bath, Agni felt much more relaxed. It is always relieving to feel so fresh. With a small smile, he walked towards the place where he kept his clothes. Taking a little more time than necessary to slide the fabrics of the sherwani on his body just for the sake of it.
The London house of Earl Phantomhive was tranquil at best, almost no-one came to visit them, the climate wasn't so bad for the young prince, and Soma seemed rather entertained with the (junk) stuff Master Ciel left behind. They had a market near to buy groceries and the London people seemed really nice.
He walked leisurely to the kitchen, thinking of what he could make for the Prince's breakfast. He was sure that by this moment he had already digested the huge dinner from last night, and food was necessary for living. With the determination of pleasing the prince and to nourish him like he had to if he wanted to get a good day, Agni started to set up the ingredient in the kitchen, alighting not soon after the flame. After a couple of minutes, his figure could barely be seen by how fast he was working.
On one side he was preparing the curry sauce, meanwhile on the other side he cooked the vegetables with mustard oil (adding the fish they had bought the day before), every once in a while inspecting that the small buns that he was baking were in good condition.
A little after, he checked the clock on the wall and noticed he had little time until dawn and he would have to hurry up if he also wanted to do the laundry. He could take out the buns to cool off while the vegetables and the curry finished cooking. He sighed and cleaned his hands, he would scrub a little the prince's dirty sheets and then return to the kitchen…
A couple of minutes after the sun made its presence known, Agni knocked a couple of times in the door to Soma's bedroom. After only receiving some sleepy mumbling as an answer, the servant decided to enter.
The curtains were shut and the prince was hugging his pillow, his expression relaxed and somewhat silly. Seeing him, unconsciously, Agni felt a small, tender smile make its way to his face. It was so nice seeing him like this, because while his constant cheerfulness was not necessarily a bad thing, there were a couple of times where his smiles seemed forced, no so much as to convince everyone that he was happy, but rather to remind himself to be happy all the time. So that no-one would worry.
He left the tray with breakfast on the night table, then he walked to the windows, running the curtains delicately and knotting them.
"It's time to wake up, Prince Soma." He cheered gently while he walked to the prince's side again, preparing the portions that he would eat. "I hope you're on the mood for a big breakfast." He said, then walked to the closet and took some clothes to wear that day. "Please dress yourself while I go for lassi so you can drink, if you need my help, don't hold back from calling me."
Soma smiled and got out of bed to take the clothing from the blessed hands of his servant. "Thanks a lot, Agni."
Agni smiled back, feeling as if his whole world lightened up with his mere presence.
"Jo Agya."
「my only sunshine」
Little Ciel's khan really frightened him, having him in front of him made chills run through his body and listening to him talk with that small smirk of his made him feel dread. Worst of all was that he didn't know why he was so afraid of him. He knew the enormous strength that the man had, but he also knew that Agni had the same strength and not an ounce of fear.
He didn't know why, but the man, being dressed up all the time in pitch black clothes, reminded him of the devil in English customs, who destroyed everything around him… not that Ciel's khan was especially disastrous, quite contrary, or at least not regarding things on the physical side.
In some way, Soma was able to see for himself the effect the words from the mysterious man had on other people, most of them were left awed with a couple of compliments and, if given the case, a wink or two.
Soma could also see how lady Elizabeth was left astounded with his enigmatic words when she wanted to see little Ciel. He could practically see the half-truths escaping from his mouth; and he knew, better than anyone, that lies could hurt worse than a stab.
Soma still remembers the cruel words from Sebastian when he thought he had lost his khan…
Agni, on the other hand, was one of the persons the young prince held closest to his heart. Even knowing his past, he never felt afraid of him, just the desire to be helped by him, because he knew that with his strength and the divine power he carried within they could achieve anything. He would never lie to him. (The incident with Meena and that West man was long-forgotten.) And one could see from miles away how devoted he was.
Many times had Agni told him what a merciful god he was for having conceded a second chance to a delinquent like him. And many times had Soma refrained himself from telling him how wrong he was, that it had been his loyal butler who saved him from loneliness. An enemy much more fearsome than death, or eternal damnation for the sins committed.
Agni was wrong, because while he observed the wonderful traits Soma had, he didn't see his own. He didn't see the extreme patience he had for everything, or the enormous tenderness he treated his prince with. He didn't see divinity within himself.
But Soma did. And he would make sure to treasure it (and not to show it to anyone else, despite it being rather selfish of him.)
「you make me happy」
"Do you have anything planned for today?" Agni held his chin, trying to think the duties he had for the day.
Asides from laundry, lunch, dinner and helping you with your studies… "No Prince, if you need me I'm completely at your beck and call." Soma smiled, satisfied.
"Do you think we can go play with my elephant? I bet she must feel lonely, we only go to feed her and when she needs to be bathed…" his head turned in direction of the garden, where surely said animal was. Agni observed him with tenderness, moved with how much the prince cared for his pets. It wasn't necessary to ask him.
"Of course, I'm sure she'll love a visit."
They walked together to where the animal was, who received them with a loving smack of her trunk. Soma got up to mount her, and she let him.
"Come, it's fun!" Agni shook his head. He was rather comfortable with just observing.
「when skies are grey」
They ran towards the mansion, trying to get as less wet as possible. It was more than enough with the fact that the storm arrived with no warning ahead.
They entered with their clothes soaked and even trembling a little, English climate sure wasn't the best. Soma looked at himself and his servant then started laughing, and Agni couldn't help but ask him just what was so funny.
"It's just that, it was quite funny. In one moment the climate was so warm and the skies so clear, and the next one rain is pouring from the clouds like there is no tomorrow." He grabbed his hair and wringed it, he had heard somewhere that if he kept himself soaked and cold, he could catch a cold. "Besides you scolded me because I wanted to take her first to a safe place."
Agni shook his head, half amused and half exasperated. "I had already told you that if she needed refuge, she would seek for it on her own regards. If you kept yourself in that rain for any longer you can get sick." He crossed his arms, hoping nothing would happen to them this once. "I'll go for a couple of towels and clean clothing."
"Okay!"
Soma kept smiling even after Agni could see him no longer. He was glad to still be in England, things like this made life merrier. Even if the climate was on times really cold, or if people were really frigid. If he was with Agni everything would be fun.
「you'll never know, dear」
"Say, Agni."
The servant raised his head from the book he was reading, the face of his master, illuminated so gently by the flames on the chimney, was staring at it with a curious expression.
"Yes, Master Soma?" He closed the book and left it gently on his lap, paying attention to whatever the young man had to say.
"The other day when we were on town…"
"Was there something you wanted to buy? If you want to, we can go tomorrow to buy it…" Soma shook his head.
"No, it's just that… I saw so many couples there, and I wondered: "Agni is all the time with me, does he not feel lonely?, does he not have a woman he fancies?, does he not yearn for the love of a pretty wife? Or did he have a sweetheart back in India and I stole it away from him by coming here?"
Agni smiled, then got up from his seat―leaving his book there―and knelt before Soma. "Master Soma's intentions are really pure-hearted, but I can assure you that my needs are well looked-after just by serving you." He tilted his head and kept the eye-contact, ignoring the part that told him not to. "My main duty is to serve you, and if the time ever comes when I have another one, you'll be the first to know."
Agni did not need a pretty wife in silken saree, when the only person in his heart was smiling so innocently.
「how much I love you」
「please don't take my sunshine away」
Everything happened so fast.
First the talk with Agni about leaving England, then he received little Ciel after his mission on Bath, then, then… little Ciel… shot him?, after that… after that… oh Kali, please don't let him think about after that, because it's just a nightmare, like the ones Agni has every night when he thinks no-one is listening.
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
He can't see, his eyes are covered in tears, his ear is bleeding profusely. And he hits the door with so much vehemence. Agni, I know you can hear me, if you open the door you can save us both… Agni…
Why do… all the people end up… abandoning him?
Agni, you said that your main duty was being with the prince. So… why?
He didn't want to… he was really afraid of it… being scared was something hideous.
Those steps… now they're coming for him. Make it quick, because without Agni, being safe is not worth it.
Forgive him, please. He knows… that it's a shame to your memory but… you would want the same if the situations were reversed…
「no, please don't take my sunshine away」
Kuroshitsuji ©Yana Toboso.
I swear this is the last fic I write about Agni's death. :( I got so sad I'd rather write those AU's where Agni is alive and going. If it's any help, writing this gave me chills and made me cry at the last scene. The song is "You are my sunshine" and my favourite cover (because of how calm it is) is Jemma Johnson's. This was inspired by an image on Tumblr, if you don't know which one it is, you can talk to me to show it to you. (This all was translated in an hour, please do point out any typos or anything that looks weird.)
Matane!