My Magical Master
description - Okay, so you all know about Will Vandom. So what about me? The adorable little mouse that can see everything that goes on in her life? Don't I deserve to get a chapter in the W.I.T.C.H stories?
Genre: Humour/Parody
disclaimer: I don't own W.i.t.c.h. and all it's characters. Wah...
A/n : I have no idea where I go this idea from, I just needed something fun to write about, hehe. Maybe I was sad when I found out Dormouse died in a car crash (ignore that last part if you haven't read WITCH issue 26 yet)... anyway... this is a tribute and a memoir to the deceased little dormouse, whose name is No-name, Ghiro, Ecky, Mr Huggles or whatever it is in your country.
Grr, Gink, Kiff, Gniff, that's all the noises I'm supposed to make. But, if I can talk the human tongue, oh, the stories I could tell, the stories I could tell...
For now, let's just say you can understand the grr, gink, kiff and gniffs of the wondrous language of dormice, and can decipher the different syllables of the dormouse race. You cant pretend, you say? Got a personality close to my master's friend Cornelia? Well, no problem, here, eat this cookie - no, I haven't poisoned it - this will make you understand every grr, gink kiff, gniff I say, er squeak.
You ate it? Good. Now, you see, my master is not an average human, she is a W.I.T.C.H.
No, NO! Put down that flaming torch and the over-large fork, she's not a witch! Not one that brews potions and do all sorts of crazy stuff, that is. Okay, so she does do crazy stuff, but it's for the good of humanity!
Did you hear me? Put down that spork! She's not evil! No, don't burn her at the village stake! If you do, I'll have no one to look after me! No one to get cookies from! And that's not good! I have twelve children and a wife, and you would make my grandmother very mad... not to mention my mother, aunt, uncle, dad..
Oh, you put it down? Good. Anyway... ignore my little blurb earlier. Ahem.
Anyway, my master. She is quite an extraordinary person, as you can see. She is the Keeper of the Heart of Candracar, which is this thing that... glows, and.. She can make us invisible... and... merge with this person who looks a lot like her... and this really cool thing when she gets surrounded with pink light and when it disappears she turns into this really cool person with this pink and green costume... and wings! Did I mention wings? Well, she has them, never saw she fly with them though... And she has great cookies.
And all of her electrical things talk! Can you believe that? And she loves frogs, too, I don't know what's so special about them, but I just love chewing them, and she doesn't mind.
There was once, when she took me for a walk, but we ended up kicking the ass of this really big snake ( if they have butts), that is! And then I ate one of her delicious cookies. It was awesome! I remember it as if it was yesterday... oh wait, it was yesterday...
Anyway, she was having lunch and cake with her mother, I was just there watching, munching on a cookie. I think they got into an argument, master got up and declared that we're going on a walk. I jumped onto her backpack, of course. Then, she moped for sometime in the park, used one of those electrical things (she talked to it, and it replied!), and suddenly she went all tense, and biked me to a stadium where this loud sound she loved to listen to was ringing out. She looked at two big guys for a while, and she got out that pink glowing thing.
And she changed into the cool pink and green costume! At first I was terrified, but not for long, I knew it was her. Then, she surrounded us in this force field thingy, it was so cool... I remember poking my nose out of it, and her pushing me back into the force field.
And so, we snuck in to the big building. Yeah, and we went into the basement. She grew a bit faint.
THERE WAS A BIG BLUE SWIRLY THINGY! And... well, over-large amphibian-like beings were coming through it. They were wearing this.. Erm... brownish greyish rags... I wonder why.. Oh, and there was this one reptile wearing a long red robe.
Yeah, I got scared, so what. So what if I jumped out of the shield and ran for my rodent life towards the blue swirly thingy, but I do got to admit running to the blue thingy was rather stupid, since... hey, you cant stop curiosity, I was curious, alright? I was curious! I wasn't so scared that I cant think properly, I got curious!
And I ran, and ran, and ran, with master after me. I think I stopped once I smelt some cookies in one of those weird green and blue houses, then I think I got distracted by a weird looking dragonfly...
Master caught up with me. After giving me a lecture (which I had no idea what it's about, I don't speak human tongue), she notices the pretty black flowers. I sniffed one. Mmm... smells like cookies...
Uh, I do not have an obsession with cookies. It's just that they're so good... you have never tasted one of master's cookies... and now that I've set up a cookie shrine under master's bed, I don't think I'll ever run out of cookies again. Never again, cookies, my love...
Ahem
Where were we? Oh, yes, the black roses. She touched one and got prickled. And... I have no idea what happened, she fell asleep. Then this big lizard like guy came and dragged her away from the roses, I followed, of course. She's the only one I can nick cookies from.
She woke up some time later, and I bound over to greet her, happy that I can still eat her cookies. Then we talked with the lizard guy. Yeah... I have no idea what he said though.
And suddenly master seemed as if to remember something. Lizard guy opened a passage in the cookie smelling black roses for us to go through. Hmmm... I wonder if cookies were grown on trees or plants, because if so... wait! I want one of those cookie smelling flowers! It would be a great addition to my shrine! Wait...! Slow down master!
Do not think of me as crazy to talk to my memory. I just do that, and I'm sure you do too.
You don't? Damn you. Life must be pretty boring for you, I mean, what do you do with all the time you don't spend sleeping, eating cookies, admiring your master, eating cookies, shredding master's room, eating cookies, poking at electronics, eating cookies and eating cookies?
And yeah, we were back in the mob of amphibians, the red robed dude talked awhile to the amphibians, and this big blue thug (best word for him), and this boy came out. The red robed thingy fired something at them after they said something, then, after a pause (and by that I meant more talking, er, make that shouting), the red robed thing turned human. Then his hands began to cackle.
Master jumped in and blocked the light thing for the blue dude. Then she dropped me, it could be on an accident...
Then, let's see... uh, talking, more talking, and the red robed human turned into this five- feet snake (how many appearances does he have!) . He struck master again. Poor master's all pale and sweaty now... snaky raised his hands to strike again.
It was then I knew I must not allow that. If he does, I wont eat any of her cookies anymore! SUPER DORMOUSE TO THE RESCUE! Cookies! Hey.. he smelled like cookies... and looked kind of like those froggy cookies master sometimes have...
I think I bit the big snake dude. He didn't taste like a cookie though, he tasted.. Um... like this guy with red hair and a weird skin condition I once bit for trying to catch me. Ya, that's it.
Master grabbed me from him, and we ran through the blue vortex. She closed it with a zap of pink light, and believe it or not, this big snake somehow followed us.
Yeah... then I think I ran away... I think I had nightmares about big green scary cookie trying to eat me instead of the other way around, but that's beside the point.
And she kicked the snake's ass! Well, her and her friends did, and it was a cool light show, it would've been better if I had a cookie, though.
That day's adventure was done, though it was tiring. She gave me a cookie as an reward for biting that snake. I think I confused her a little bit by hiding under the bed after I saw the froggy cookies. Biiiiiiiiig snaky thing...
And there you have it. My crazy adventure through this green blue place and with the big snake guy. Now, go back to your human lives, while I secretly visit my cookie shrine, and maybe give my master a surprise by decorating her room for her return. Goobye! Gink!
And remember...
COOKIES ROX MY WORLD!
Did you find that funny? I don't know, but I found it the most fun to write about. And the cookie obsession... I don't know where the heck it came from, though it might've been from issue 5 where dormouse ate all of Will's cookies except one... that and a picture I drew of dormouse, and a friend of mine adding "I smell cookies!" under it.
Tell me what you think!