Author's Note: Completely and utterly random. I have no idea how this came to me. I'm just insane, I guess.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Artemis Fowl characters. I think you know who does.
Title: A Long Way From Sanity
Chapter 1: Something
Artemis was walking down the street, thinking about which bank to rob next, when suddenly a giant hole appeared before him. He stepped into the hole, not noticing its presence. He fell down a giant black tunnel before he was dropped into Commander Root's office.
Root jumped. "What in Frond's name is this Mud Boy doing in my office!"
Suddenly Foaly burst through the office doors.
"I summoned him," Foaly stated, and then dragged Artemis to the Ops Booth.
"What are you up to now, Foaly?" Asked Artemis, who this had already happened to twice before.
"I have important news," said Foaly professionally, and he pulled out a small, thin, black suitcase from one of the drawers at the desk. "Look what I found."
Foaly opened the suitcase. Artemis peeked in.
"Isn't it great?" Foaly said with a suppressed giggle. "I found it on the street. Just laying there. Who could do this to this beautiful piece of unsurpassed technology?"
Artemis saw a single piece of smashed taffy in the suitcase.
"Isn't it wonderful!" Exclaimed Foaly. Artemis was not sure how to respond. Luckily, he was saved the trouble of doing that by the sudden appearance of Holly Short.
"Oh, hi Artemis," said Holly. "Again," she added happily.
"Good morning, Holly."
"Foaly, why did you bring him here again?" she asked, shoving away rather roughly the impulse of kissing Artemis on the cheek. (A/N-Random, I told you!)
"I brought him here," Foaly started, sensing Holly's impulse, "To see this wonderful piece of technology."
"That's a piece of taffy," Holly told him flatly, once again shoving away her always nagging impulse. One day, she would have to, before she exploded.
"What is taffy? Foaly asked, a genuine look of confusion on his face. He sensed the impulse again and sniggered in his head.
"A candy from above ground," said Artemis smartly, and Holly's impulse flared.
"Oh, why don't you two just go snog in the hallway already!" Shouted Foaly. "I've been waiting forever for this!" (A/N-Well, you know...random.)
So Holly grabbed Artemis's arm and dragged him out into the hallway.
Foaly stepped outside into the hallway just as Commander Root stepped out of his office.
His face immediately turned purple. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE!"
Foaly snickered. "It was bound to happen someday," he told Root.
Root's face turned back to its normal shade of red. "You're right, it was." And he retreated back to his office as if nothing had happened.
After about five whole minutes, the couple sat back down in the Ops Booth. Foaly had returned two minutes previously.
"So..."
"So finally I'm calm," said Holly.
"That did it?"
"Yup."
"Artemis," said Foaly. "You're not speaking. What went wrong? Is Holly a horrible kisser?"
Holly grunted.
"Well, to be honest, no," said Artemis with a faint smile creeping up his face. "That was just weird. Very impulsive."
Holly smirked. "That was the idea."
"Um, about the so-called 'taffy'..." started Foaly, but was interrupted by Root's voice in his communicator.
"Get over to my office. All three of you," he said, and he looked strangely happy.
When all three of them were in Root's office, he pulled back a large curtain that was covering his desk and said, "tah-dah!"
There stood a huge picture, at least 50 times its original size, of Holly and Artemis holding hands.
"I'm so proud of both of you!" Yelled Root, and then he began to cry happily. He ran over to Foaly and gave him a hug. Foaly attempted to back out of it, but there was no use.
After letting go of Foaly, Root yelled, "Let's all have a party in celebration of this new couple!"
Holly blushed. Artemis snickered. Foaly was right. It was bound to happen some day.
Very odd, I know. Random, as I have already said many, many times. I will type more of these when I think of them. As you can see, I enjoy Arty/Holly pairings. Tell me if you've got a weird story with that pairing! Please review for this story and tell me what you think. Ta-ta for now.
The Insane Lugian