At first, Yoonbum really did think that he loved Sangwoo.

His laughter when he was with his friends.

His smile when he praised him.

His strong body, unblemished by ugly scars unlike yoonbum's ugly body.

What was there not to love? Apart from the fact that he likes to kill people. That was just a minor flaw-

Oh who was he kidding. Yoonbum doesn't love Sangwoo anymore.

His too wide smile as he strung him up by his neck in his basement.

Yoonbums legs, still not healing properly, crunched by the heavy blow of sangwoos hammer.

His blood stained smile as he forced Yoonbum to kill the man he brought home, seduced by his charm.

Yoonbums imprisonment, enslavement and humiliation. And Yoonbum was just too weak to fight back.

Honestly all that had happened to Yoonbum thus far was entirely his fault.

If he had just looked closer.

If he hadn't thought he loved the monster then would he be safer now?

Probably not, he would have been left to the mercy (what mercy) of his uncles hand and that surely wasn't a pleasant thought either.

Honestly, Yoonbums life had been one giant mistake.

He was born.

His parents died on him.

He was forced to live with his shitty uncle.

His shitty uncle started raping and abusing him, blaming him for his parents death.

He finished school and had to go to the army.

He nearly got raped in the army by a shitty upstart younger than him that took one look at him and knew he was easy prey. (he was)

He found out he was gay.

He went to college 4 years late.

He got infatuated with a psycho who kills people with no remorse.

He got kidnapped by said psycho and has been physically and mentally tortured for his sick glee since.

His life was not worth living.

He knew that, had known for the longest time. Yoonbum honestly saw no point in trying to escape.

Where would he go if he escaped? Sangwoo bought out his apartment so he has no house. He could go to his uncles, but not really...

So what choice was there left but to wait it out until his body was too weak to function, too weak to live and just curl up like the filthy gutter rat he was in the corner?

But then something changed.

He brought the crutches, let him into the outside world for a night then locked Yoonbum in a cupboard to watch him fuck a skinny bitch trying to act cute.

And yoonbum, being the stupid idiot he was wanted more. He wanted to be greedy. And so he took the chance when Sangwoo gave him a knife.

He took the chance when he told him to kill Ji eun.

He shouldn't have, but the chance was there and his want to impress Sangwoo was still there and he was stupid, stupid, stupid!

All Yoonbum wanted in life is peace.

And since life wouldn't grant him that, maybe death will.

And so when Sangwoo grew angry with him and tried to force him into the sad life that was reality, he was scared. So very, very scared.

He turned and ran.

He ran back to the washroom where the rat poison was kept.

And he clutched the bottle; forcing as many vibrant blue pills as he could down his constricting throat, choking on saliva in desperation.

As he thrust away the bottle he let out sobs and he felt a longing overcome him.

A longing to be free and happy, something he had never experienced once in his short life. The most he felt was regret, depression and despair.

When his breathing hurt more than usual and his eyes started slipping closed, he smiled.

He could rest now.