Defying Gravity Chapter 1, a walking dead fanfic

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: The rating for this story will change to M at chapter 3. Thank you for the PM's regarding posting of this story on this site. I wasn't going to post here because there doesn't seem to be a lot of readers any more, but as requested here it is.

When he turned around to face her, Carol couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from him. He was dressed all in black, his buttoned shirt open just enough to expose a little of his chest hair and she was almost positive that he was unaware of the effect he had on many women in the joined communities.

Defying Gravity

Carol stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed heavily. Maggie's idea for a celebration of all three communities had been a good idea for most of the residents, but Carol couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive about it. Yes, the Saviours were gone and Negan was dead, they should be celebrating, but it was the idea of socialising that filled her with apprehension.

Since she had emerged from her self-made exile, she had found it difficult to find that balance of finding her place.

The only person in this whole damn place that she wanted to be close to had seemed to take a backwards step...leaving her lost and wondering why he had chosen to push her away. He'd become someone else, pulling every member of their family closer while keeping her at arm's length. It hurt just as much as any loss, and she found herself grieving for something that she'd never really had to begin with.

She had come back to Alexandria not just to help fight Negan and avenge the death of her family, she had come back with hopes of starting over with him, just like he'd told her so long ago. It seemed as time went on that they had reached an impasse. She had at least three other male suitors that were all vying for her attention, but none of them made her heart ache with want like Daryl's did…So, it was time she made some decisions.

Her return brought its own set of challenges that she hadn't even considered on her journey back here. She'd left Alexandria a broken soul, a woman who had been aching for any kind of affection to escape the pain of the past. She had reached out to anyone and Tobin had answered. He had been a distraction; a means to an end. He had tried so hard to make her feel again, but it wasn't him that she had needed. So, the day she left she did so with no intention of returning. She didn't want to be with anyone at that point, not even Daryl, the man she had come to love. She felt…so...unworthy.

So far, she had been able to dodge Tobin's advances. The poor man had been so happy to see her after their first initial victory over the saviours was over. He had almost run to her, the joy in his eyes causing her to shrink away, shutting down any kind of contact when he reached for her. She swallowed against the memory of his face when she had stepped away, hating herself a little more for the pain she'd caused him. Despite everything he was still a good man, but she couldn't bring herself to be near him. His touch would only remind her of the carnage she'd left behind. He would be at this party tonight and she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid him forever. Everything was such a mess…

Smoothing down the material of the pale blue summer dress she wore, she felt more exposed now than she'd ever felt before. The thin straps of fabric at her shoulder failed to cover the many scars she knew were far too visible to ignore, and for the first time since Ed's death, she could feel his presence all around her. The man was dead, he couldn't physically hurt her anymore, but every time she felt the deep ridges of one of his punishing scars, she could almost feel him hovering around her, reminding her of just how useless she really was.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her tattered nerves and moved across the room to sit down on the edge of the bed. Maybe she could just…not go…would anyone really miss her there? The party had started a few hours ago…she could just hide away in her room and let the revellers enjoy the festivities while she kept out of sight. The more she thought about it, the more she was convincing herself that she could miss the party, and she had almost talked herself into staying in her room, until a light tap on her bedroom door brought her out of her deliberations. She looked up at the wooden barrier with a little apprehension before she took a deep cleansing breath.

"It's open," she called, immediately cursing her stupidity in case it was Tobin standing on the other side of the door.

The handle turned and she held her breath when the door slowly opened, relief instantly flooding through her when Daryl appeared. Carol released the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding and offered him a relieved smile.

"Hey," he spoke softly as he moved further into the room and closed the door behind him, the soft click of the lock clicking into place.

"Hey," she managed in a strangled whisper as she looked up to meet his gaze. "Are you okay?"

He observed her thoughtfully and nodded his head. He was regarding her with something akin to need in his eyes and Carol found herself crumbling beneath the weight of his stare.

"Came to see where ya were," he told her at last as he stepped a little closer towards her. "I couldn't find ya over there."

To her dismay, sudden tears gathered in her eyes and she frantically tried to blink them away before he could see them. Lowering her head, she took a deep breath before she reigned in her emotions and lifted her head to greet him with a bright fake smile. She had her speech already prepared, and her affirmation of the obligatory 'I'm fine' already forming on her lips, but when he stepped closer to invade her personal space the words fell away.

"What're ya doin' sitting up here all alone?"

"I— "

"I ain't lettin' ya slip away," he told her as his fingertips briefly grazed the bare skin of her shoulder before he slowly pulled away from her.

Carol's heart ached for him. She had felt the strong magnetic pull towards him even stronger since she had come back to Alexandria amidst gunfire and bullets. Every single day since had been a struggle to keep him out of her mind, but between needing to be near him and avoiding Tobin she was physically and emotionally exhausted.

"If I go there tonight…" she started softly, her eyes imploring him to understand. "I can't avoid seeing…Tobin."

Sudden anger flared in his eyes at the mention of that name. It was no secret that Tobin had some strange notion that he belonged with Carol, and it had taken every ounce of Daryl's restraint to not punch the man right between the eyes. His annoyance at the man seethed through his body, causing him to pace restlessly before he caught the sadness emanating from her as she silently watched him.

"Did he do somethin'?" he asked hurriedly as he stopped pacing and moved closer to sit beside her on the bed. "He said somethin'?"

His closeness was creating havoc in Carol's body and she tried desperately not to react to him, but with every second that passed she could feel herself slipping further into his aura. She was so tired of denial, of pretending that she was okay with nothing but his friendship, so taking a deep, courageous breath, she turned towards him, her knees lightly touching his.

"No…" she told his softly, her eyes watching for his reaction when she cautiously reached out to wrap her hand around his on his knee. "He… he thought I'd come back to start over… with him…"

Daryl's gaze dropped down to their joined hands as he tried to control the heat rising over his body. Her touch caused his heart to erupt, sending a pounding whoosh straight up to his ears. Swallowing hard he watched for her reaction, the words rolling off of his tongue before he had time to stop them.

"And you don't?"

Even as the words left his lips he knew they were a mistake. He lifted his gaze to see the sting of hurt in her eyes but he held on tight to her hand so she couldn't pull away from him.

"No…" she gasped out, her voice sounding alien to her own ears and she shook her head from side to side. "No…I can't…not with him…"

"But I thought you and him were— "

"What?" she hissed out, this time yanking her hand from his and springing away from him before he could reach for her. Getting to her feet she wrapped her arms around her waist and turned away from him, unable to see the look of confusion in his eyes. Had she read him all wrong after all?

"I can't be with someone I don't love Daryl…and I did not do anything other than sleep in his bed either. So, whatever he told you— "

"Hey…" he was behind her within seconds, his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face him.

Carol closed her eyes against the welling sadness, unsure of what she would see in his. She didn't know if she could survive his rejection… but if she was wrong, and all of these mixed up emotions she'd felt all these years were all in her own head… could she come back from that place again? Opening her eyes, she bravely lifted her head to find concern awash in his. She fell in love with him all over again in the one tiny second… how could these feelings be wrong?

She kept her eyes focused on his as she took a step closer. Her gaze dropped to his mouth briefly before she boldly leant in and pressed her lips to his. The jolt of their connection pulsed through her body like molten fire. It was the lightest of touches, a tiny, gentle kiss that caused her heart to ache for him…but it took her only a few seconds to realise that he hadn't responded. Dread flashed through her causing her to pull away from him abruptly, her lips tingling from the intensity of the one sided kiss.

Taking a step away, embarrassment flooded through her as she lowered her eyes to the floor, unable to look at him while she turned away from him completely.

"I'm sorry," she all but whispered, her voice breaking under the heaviness clamping around her heart. "I thought…I don't know what I thought…"

His silence unnerved her and the longer it went on the more desolate she became. Lifting one of her hands to her face she swiped at the wetness on her cheek before she moved closer to the window to lean her burning forehead against the glass. Ed had been right all along...

"You don't want me," she nodded in resignation, breathing out the words, every syllable cutting through her as she spoke. "I wouldn't want me either…so…let's just forget it okay…" when his silence still echoed all around them, she turned around, desperate to see his face. "Can we please forget it?"

Daryl was still frozen, his eyes wide, watching her every movement. Her tears had always had the capacity to break him, and as she crumbled before him he suddenly realised what his silence was doing to her. Gasping in a breath he took a step closer towards her, his heart hammering inside his chest.

"No," he told her, his words causing her to turn away from him again. Stepping up behind her he reached out to cup her shoulders, urging her to move as he turned her around to face him.

Carol turned, following his movements but she kept her eyes from his, instead choosing to focus on the buttons on his shirt.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Honestly, you go…I'll be fine here…I just need— "

"Carol…" his soft voice halted her words but she still couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, part of her afraid of seeing the disappointment in his eyes.

Daryl lifted his hand to her hair, his fingertips skimming the soft strands before he traced the outline of her cheek, trailing lower still until he tilted her chin to gently lift her face upwards, forcing her to look up at him.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he told her as he stepped a little closer, his eyes focussing on her lips for a few seconds before leaning closer to press their mouths together.

Tbc

(From chapter 3 this story will change to M rating)