A/N: Hey everyone! I thought I might try writing something funny for a change. (Or, I hope you think this is funny.) If you like this story, I'd suggest reading 'the careers make lemondade' by ShineTheTribute, and 'the careers get annoyed' by i-am-foxface. Both those stories are hilarious and worth reading. (also, I refer to them twice.)
And if you want to read the debate on whether Cato should be with Glimmer or Clove, I also wrote a story called Popular Demand about just that. Well, it's not really a debate, but it's about them. Check it out, if you know, you want to.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
Maysilee Survived now presents-The careers have a debate! Enjoy!
The careers were very bored. After making a lemonade stand, and annoying each other to no end, they had run out of things to do. Just then, Peeta Mellark walked down the street.
"Are you bored?" The careers all nodded. "Yeah," said Clove. "I haven't found anyone I can kill in, like, 3 whole hours! Hey wait a minute," she said, staring at Peeta with new interest. "I could kill you."
"I have a better idea," Peeta said quickly. "Let's have a debate."
"A debate?" Said Glimmer. "That's lame. Let's go shopping instead."
"Let's not," snapped Cato, Clove, Marvel, and Peeta in unison.
"I was thinking," said Peeta. "That we should debate about whether the hunger games are ethical."
"They are not!" snapped Katniss, who had overheard the conversation and came to see what was going on.
"That's a bad debate topic," whined Glimmer. "How about we debate whether tributes should be allowed to bring jewelry with hidden weapons into the arena."
"Aha!" shouted Marvel. "So you were trying to cheat!"
"I was not!" The two were about to start fighting and trying to kill each other, but Cato stepped in between them.
The idea of a debate had been accepted, but the careers couldn't decide what the topic should be. Suggestions came from all sides: Cato is the awesomest career ever ("No way, I am!" said Clove); the lemonade stand was all Marvel's fault ("It was not!" said Marvel); The Capitol is as sadistic as Clove ("I am not sadistic! I just like watching people get hurt." "That's what sadistic means Clove!"). A reader of this story stepped in and said "How about we debate whether Cato should be with Glimmer or Clove."
"No!" shouted Cato and Clove.
"Yes!" Shouted Glimmer. "Because it's me, obviously."
"It's not Twilight," said Katniss.
Finally, a topic was decided: should tributes be allowed to train before the games or not? The sides were divided, with Cato, Katniss, and Peeta for careers (Pro), and Clove, Glimmer, and Marvel against them (Con). Effie Trinket, and Foxface were going to judge. No one knew how the judges got there.
The teams went to go prepare, and agreed to go meet back up in an hour. Glimmer asked how debates worked. Cato explained it for her. "It's whichever team can bribe or threaten the judges into letting them win."
"No," said Peeta. "It's which team has the best argument."
"Then we're going to win, obviously. Clove has never lost an argument!" said Glimmer.
"Yeah," said Marvel. "But that's just because the people she's arguing with always end up in the hospital afterwards."
Before the debate started, Clove went to talk to her team members.
"I baked cookies, to bribe the judges! And if that doesn't work, I also brought my knife."
"Clove," said Glimmer. "Your cookies suck."
"But I used a recipe this time!"
"See, that's why Cato should choose me! I can make great cookies!" Glimmer said.
"You want me to carve up your face now, or later? 'Cause I'm leaning towards right now."
"Stop fighting!" Yelled Peeta. "The debate's about to begin."
Katniss was up first.
"…and tributes should be allowed to train for the games because they will have a better chance at winning." She was about to sit down, but she ran back to the podium at the last second. "All tributes! Especially ones from poor districts, like Twelve, because we don't learn any special skills from our district's industry and-"
"Katniss, just sit down now." Growled Cato. "You're using up way to much of our points."
"And I don't believe a word I just said!" Katniss finished. Glimmer was next up.
"…And that is why I should have been allowed to bring my ring with its poisonous spike into the arena. Thank you." Katniss held out her hand to rebut her point.
"But what does that have to do with training for the games?"
"What? That's what we're talking about?"
Cato was next. "…and we should be allowed to train for the games, because, um, um, just because." He finished. Marvel stood up. "You suck at debating Cato. That shouldn't even count as a point." He said. Cato got mad and punched the podium. It broke, and fell into a pile of splinters. The debate was paused as Katniss went off to hunt for a new podium. While she was gone, a silver parachute came down from a Capitol hovercraft, with a new podium. Katniss came back and was very annoyed.
"…tributes should not be allowed to train beforehand because it creates an unfair advantage. Beat that point, Cato!" Marvel said, and happily sat down.
Peeta had the pro side's closing argument. Katniss and Cato congratulated him as he sat down. "We're definitely going to win," said Cato.
Clove had the last word. "I believe that tributes should not be allowed to train before the games. This is because they become known as careers, and end up living a messed up life. They are overly arrogant, brutal, and violent, *coughCatocough* just like a certain tribute. His name starts with a 'C', and ends with 'ato."
"Hey! I am not like that!" shouted Glimmer.
"Starts with a 'C' and ends with 'ato'. For once, Glimmer, I'm not insulting you this time." Glimmer spent the rest of the debate trying to figure out who Clove meant.
Cato held out his hand and stood up to rebut Clove's point. "Excuse me, Clove" he said. "But I believe you're the one who suggested killing Peeta, and going on murderous rampages, torturing Katniss, carving up Glimmer's face, and killing everyone, and-"
"I will not take rebuttals at this time. Sit down."
"But-"
"I said, not at this time please. Or I'll kill you right now. Thank you." She said brightly.
The careers (and others) went up to the judges table to find out who had won the debate.
"Well?" said Clove to Judge #1. "Who won?"
"Why are you talking to a fox?" said Katniss.
"It's not a fox, it's Foxface, you know, that redhead from district 5."
"Uh, no. It's a fox." Clove looked more closely. It was only a fox.
"Well, judge#2, who won?" She said. "And it better be us, because I spent a whole thirty minutes making those cookies! And I spent the other thirty minutes coming up with a really good point!"
"No," said Cato. "We should win. We were way better than your side."
"Were not." And suddenly, everyone was arguing again. It looked like it might become violent, but then Effie looked up.
"Why is everyone fighting?" She asked.
"Because we want to know who won the debate!"
"Debate, what debate?"
"The one you're judging?"
Effie looked at all the careers (and others). She thought for a moment.
"Oh. I wasn't paying attention, so I don't know who won."
"Then what have you been doing?"
"Me? Oh, I was just enjoying Clove's lovely cookies."
Review? Please?