(AN: This was part of a Crackfiction challenge a friend and I engaged in over Aim. We were given a set of characters and an object to be included in the fic and ran with it. I apologize for the extreme randomness, but enjoy this nonetheless. Ouran High School Host club belongs to Bisco Hatori.

Crackfic challenge #1: A Kasanoda x Kyoya fanfiction that includes Hunny's bun-bun.)

Kyoya liked having order and predictability in all of his daily activities. Unfortunately, predictability were severely lacking when it came to the eccentricities of the host club and its hare-brained king. The shadow king had made an effort to at least institute a sense of order; otherwise he most likely would have strangled Tamaki and the Hitachiin brothers very early on. Customers came in, designated hosts, got their allotted time and left. Very simple, very orderly, very efficient; all in all, definitely the work of the type a personality that was the Host Club's Shadow King.

Kasanoda, the heir to a Yakuza organization had been one of a few unforeseen wrenches in the works, and unlike the others he kept popping up. Mostly on days like today, when the Host Club was calm (well, as close to it as that place got). Tamaki had hatched a brilliant cosplay scheme early yesterday morning (and had preceded to talk Kyoya's ear off at four in the morning, which pissed him off to no end) of dressing up in 1960s styles. This stemmed from Tamaki's recent addiction to the American Austin Powers films, and it came as no surprise that he chose to dress as the man himself, complete with ruffles. The Twins had been ecstatic about the entire thing and had immediately designed the clothes for it. This explained why Kyoya was currently in the undignified ensemble of tastefully worn bellbottom jeans, a bright, multicolored tie-dyed shirt and an equally multi-chromatic headband with Birkenstocks to complete the whole ensemble.

It was then that Kasanoda had decided to wander in, covered in dirt and several other unidentified substances signifying he had just come from the gardening club. He often came by in this state to give Haruhi gifts in his attempt to woo her. Naturally, like the attempts of her other potential suitors, these attempts failed miserably and were generally fairly amusing to watch. Today however, considering his current state of degradation and irritation, Kasanoda was not leaving the host club unscathed.

Of course Kasanoda was completely unaware of Kyoya's eminent rage, as he was too busy trying to get over to the far corner where Haruhi was entertaining a group of love struck fangirls. Suddenly a firm, somewhat violent hand on his shoulder spun him around and held him arms length away from the Demon Lord. He swallowed visibly, torn between laughing at Kyoya's ridiculous outfit or running as far away as possible. Before he could come to any kind of decision, Kyoya spoke with a low voice dripping irritation and an edge of sarcasm, "Kasanoda, how many times have I told you to clean up before entering the Host Club?"

Kasanoda spoke rather shakily, "Several…I-'m sorry! I forgot, I was in such a hurry that I-"

Kyoya interrupted his (perceived) inane explanation, "I don't care what sort of botanical wonder you were trying use to woo Haruhi with this time. Clean up now or I will personally throw you out. Do I make myself PERFECTLY clear, Kasanoda?"

Kasanoda nodded vigorously, hoping to avoid any form of bloodshed, "Of course Kyoya, I'll make sure to be perfectly clean when next I come into-"

"NOW Kasanoda."

"Right!" Naturally, Hunny's bun-bun had been dropped near Kasanoda, who was too afraid of meeting death before he was 20 to take a look at his surroundings. It should be noted that it was entirely accidental that Kasanoda slipped on said bun-bun and fell; Right onto Kyoya and kissing him square on the lips. After the near instantaneous burst of fangirl squeals from the guests and an equally fast apology and mad dash out of the third music room from Kasanoda, Kyoya slowly got up and headed out towards his limo and a healthy dose of Advil, deciding there were some days that just didn't pay to get out of bed.

Naturally it was also a given that the twin taped everything and sold it as club black market. It was always fun to give the taskmaster of order his own dose of chaos once in a while.