Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation, or any of the Degrassi affiliations. I do not own the song Just Barely Breathing by Killswitch Engage. And sadly, I do not own Daniel Clark.

I look at the girl staring at me. The makeup on her is smudged and running down her cheeks, her eyes are puffy and red from days of crying, and her clothes are wrinkled from sleeping in them. Her beauty is broken inside and out. And much to my disappointment, I am she. My thoughts get lost inside my head. The more I think, and the more I look at myself, the more I sink into depression. I brought this upon myself.

Descend into hysteria
Chaos of mankind
But who is listening
To the voice of hatred?
Tortured souls lost
So completely lost
Weakened in the concept of decline, Deception

I look down at the floor, almost ashamed to be looking at this person, let alone being her. My heart has turned cold and black, but not completely. I can still feel the ice and darkness enveloping it with their tight grasp. I fall back onto my bed, hearing nothing but the screams of my mother as her new boyfriend abuses her. After Snake died, things have just been going downhill. My mom is depressed, as am I. She doesn't know how to get out of her relationship, and I can't help her. She and I have become estranged. While our rooms are adjacent, we couldn't be further apart. I'm the child she doesn't know anymore.

Are we alive, or just breathing?
Don't close your eyes, See the images
Are we alive, or just breathing?
Don't close your eyes, See the images

I shut my eyes, screams and shouts are buzzing in my ears. I can feel the rise and fall of my chest. My breathing becomes shorter and shorter. But unfortunately, it doesn't cease. My body shakes with a spasm as I break out into uncontrollable sobs, yet again. I know he will come down here once he's finished with my mother. Placing his mark upon her, and then me inside and out.

The screams have died down to loud hysterics. Thank god that Jack is at Joey's. I hear him shout one more thing at my mother, who once was the strongest person I know, is now the weakest person I know. The more I remember my strong-willed mother, the larger the lump in my throat becomes. I hear heavy footsteps coming down my stairs. Shit. He opens the door and I open my tearful eyes. He just smiles at me with malice gleaming through his eyes. "You know what's going to happen. Don't worry, it'll only be about half an hour, I have somewhere to go tonight." He says as if what he's doing is normal, natural even. All I can do is nod through my fright.

He slowly walks over to me and unzips his pants. "Don't forget, you're lucky tonight, Emma." He then gets on top of me.

"I hate you." I whisper, and then I go off in my mind, trying to forget what is happening to me.

The skies weep tonight
Our bodies washed away
I am waiting for you
Deliverance
The sun falls through the clouds
Hear my cry

Finally, he's finished. It felt like hours, years even. He gets up and pulls up his pants. "Get up, you whore!" He shouts at me. He then slaps me. All I do is lay there, staring at him. "Slut, get up, now! Go get me my things!" I just stay where I am. "Fine, if you're going to be like that..." He says as he walks over to my wooden chair and picks it up. He comes back over to me. He starts hitting me with the wooden chair over and over again. 5, 10, 100 times, who will ever know? It's all the same. Each time he strikes me, my body flinches. But that's only because it's supposed to. It doesn't actually feel the physical pain of the hits.

The sting of the chair against my legs, arms, chest, back and rib cage jolts throughout my body like little waves of electricity. It becomes numb through the pain. He then walks back to where it was and whips it across the room at me. The chair itself misses me, but the leg of it hits my cheek. "That'll show you to respect me." He says as he turns around, and walks back up the stairs and out the door of my house.

I get up and walk up to the cabinet upstairs. I look around, trying to see if my mother is anywhere in sight. She's not. I take out a gun, much like the one that had been pointed at me not even two years ago. I slowly walk back downstairs and hold it in my hand. I stare at it in longing in a trance. I want to do this; it's the only way. I break down into hysterics with my body going through its muscle spasms and broken breathing.

I pick up my phone and dial a number. I bring the phone to my ear. My hand and arm is shaking along with my body. I stare at the gun in my other hand. Do I really want to do this? What if it's not the only way?

The skies weep tonight
Our bodies washed away
I am waiting for you
Deliverance
The sun falls through the clouds
Hear my cry

"Emma?" A voice asks. I can't speak. My broken breathing and sobs are the only things that can be heard. "Emma?" The same voice asks, a little panicked. I still can't say anything. "EM?" The voice is now completely panicked. "S-S-Sean..." I finally say. "Em, I'm coming over." All I can do is sob. "S-S-Sean..." I say again. "Em-" I hang up the phone, bring the gun up with a trembling hand and rest it against my temple on my head and shut my eyes tight.

I am waiting for you.