Xejicka: Hello! Xejicka here! This is my first fanfic. I know it's bad and not as funny as I hoped. I will try to fix that in later chapters if I get good reveiws. If you have suggestions or notice a spelling error, write it in a reveiw. No flames! I also accept anonymous reveiws.

Enigmatic Voice: There will be flames whether you want them or not.

Xejicka: Who said that!?

E.V.: Don't forget your disclaimer, Dear Xejicka.

Xejicka: Oh... uhhh... yeah... Here it is:

Disclaimer: I do not own the Kingdom Hearts Series, Final Fantasy Series, "One Winged Angel", only the original characters and Enigmatic Voice.

E.V.: You do not own me, nothing owns me. But, good. Now start with the story.

Xejicka: Thanks...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter One: My Hero

It was a usual morning before school started at Catholic High. An over-active girl named Jackie walked into the school's cafeteria to greet her friends, Torey and Paul.

"Hi, Torey!" she gleefully greeted.

"Hi, Jackie," he replied in his usual monotonous way.

"Hello, Paul!" she said to Paul with joy and giddiness.

"Hello, Jackie," he replied back in a tired fashion.

Jackie quietly sat down next to Torey on the cafeteria table. She was ready to start up a random conversation with, from whom she sat across from, but she figured he would probably tune into his own fantasy worldthat consisted of mute, pretty girls, endless piles of pizza and Irish drinking songs. So Jackie kept to herself knitting a tea cozy, which, unfortunately for her, was going to be wasted effort because nobody, not even the nobodies (except for Xaldin maybe) knew what a tea cozy was.

This lasted for a couple minutes when a friend named Liam walked in, followed by an instant hit in the crotch by another friend named Ryan. This caused Liam to go into a fit of rage and swearing that caused anyone normally not associated with him to cower in fear. Liam was shouting at the top of his lungs any curse word imaginable as he smashed tables. He grabbed Ryan by the legs and swung Ryan around like a human flail, hitting anyone within a six foot range. Jackie groaned to herself as she thought, "This was a typical morning indeed."

When suddenly Jackie's best friend, Kathleen, arrived. Jackie perked up with joy. "Finally," thought Jackie, "There's somebody who can listen to the things I say and actually understand what I mean." Kathleen sat next to Jackie and almost instantly they initiated themselves into a conversation about fictional guys they would date if they ever existed.

"Hey, Kathleen, besides Squall Leonhart and Riku, which video-game character would you want to date?" asked the eager Jackie.

"Hmmm..., I think Sephiroth is pretty hot," Kathleen replied in an almost dream-like manner.

"Sephiroth!" exclaimed Jackie. "Why would you choose him? The guy is mentally insane!"

"Yea, but that's what makes him hot," Kathleen bluntly said. "Besides, you're the one to talk." she added.

"Yeah, you're right. But either way, Sephiroth is bad news because A. He's crazy, 2. He killed Aerith, 3. He tried and almost succeeded in killing the world with a giant meteor and 4. He'd probably kill you as soon as he lays his eyes on you."

Kathleen and anybody that rudely eaves dropped on the conversation started to hystericall laugh at Jackie's gramatical error in naming off Sephiroth's flaws. Jackie, angry and embarassed, quickly hit Liam in the crotch to releive her anger. This caused Liam to go into another fit of rage. With everyone being distracted by that, Jackie and Kathleen continued back into their conversation.

"He's still hot. And anyways I've been having recuring dreams that included me fighting Sephiroth, and just last night the battle ended. He hugged me, apologized and said that he'll see me soon," commented Kathleen.

"That's weird and interesting," replied Jackie.

"Well, besides Riku and Squall, who would you wanna date?" asked Kathleen.

"You left me out of very good options, Kathleen. But besides those two, I would choose either Axel, Zexion, or Roxas and various other characters I don't feel like mentioning. I will have to add that Xaldin's almost cute because of the way his sideburns are."

A guy named Logan, in whom was known for his frickin' awesome side burns, was struck with fear as soon as he heard Jackie say this. He didn't want her to have one of her God awful crushes on him because she liked his sideburns. At that instant he tried to rip off his sideburns at break-neck speed. Fortunately for him, no one noticed his loud shrieks of pain.

"I wish my hero would come and take me away," said Kathleen.

"Same here," Jackie replied as both she and Kathleen sat back in the cafeteria seats as they daydreamed about love as they waited for the bell to ring...

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the wall next to Jackie and Kathleen exploded with debris flying everywhere, including on Liam's crotch. Liam almost exploded with as much rage as there was debris. But it was stifled as the song One Winged Angel started to loudly play. Everyone in the small cafeteria stared at the large hole in the wall. Some people screamed with terror as they tried to run, but realized they couldn't. Others just stood where they were, eyes and mouths wide open. Everyone was terrified, but not as terrified as Jackie and Kathleen.

Out of the gaping hole in the wall was a silhoutte of a man with extremely long hair, a sword at least sixteen feet long grasped in his left hand, and a set of glowing aqua colored eyes emitting from the darkness. Jackie ran her fingers through her hair only to realize the layers around her face were curled, her long, almost black hair waspulled back with a twisted braid, and a magenta hair ribbon was holding it all together. As soon as Jackie caught sight of this, her eyes widened and she started to scream.

"Gahh!!! Get it off me! Get it off me!" screamed loud and fast almost making the words mash into one. "Gahhh!!!" she screamed again, ripping out the ribbon and hair rubber bands as if they were parasites ready to give her an enima treatment that would be painful and wet, Jackie was not caring that she was ripping out hair that she taken so long to grow and care for.

Kathleen on the other hand stared at the silhoutee as it walked closer to her, only to reveal it was none other than Sephiroth (as if the music didn't tell you already).

"Kathleen! I have kept my promise as i gave earlier and now I will take you away!" shouted Sephiroth.

"Yay! Cool!" Kathleen gleefully responded as she jumped into his arms. "Take me away!" With that, Sephiroth and Kathleen flew away into the gaping hole.

"Kathleen! Kathleen! Kathleen! Kathleen, you idiot!" Jackie shouted as she witnessed Sephiroth and Kathleen fly away into the endless mist. "Damn, I would do almost anything to get my best friend back."

Almost immeadiately after saying that, Jackie felt a large blow on the back of her head.The last thing she saw before losing her consiousness was a person in a long black cloak dragging her by the collar into a dark portal right after the figure kicked Liam in the crotch in order to get everyone distracted while the cloaked figure dragged Jackie into the portal. The last thing Jackie Thought before falling into the dark unconsious was "Man, how cliche was that?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Xejicka: Well, that's chapter One, I hope you enjoyed. R&R!

Enigmatic Voice: If you have to criticize, make sure it is constructive.

Xejicka: Ok, who the hell are you?!

Enigmatic Voice: All in good time, Dear Xejicka, all in good time.