Kami's Revenge

A/N: Okay, I was just watching T.V. when I was mauled by a... PLOT BUNNY ATTACK! Of course, this plot bunny must have a cousin who attacked Heart's Door. Because she wrote Never Saw It Coming way before I even thought about writing this. So this is dedicated to her, because it's an awesome story. Excuse this, it may not be that great, but I needed to get it out of my system. Enjoy and don't forget to review at the end!

Disclaimer: And if I did, do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction instead of rolling in my millions? Pfft, yeah, I don't think so either.

Kami didn't like him. He knew this because of many reasons. His clan had died. His brother was an S-class murderer. Orochimaru had given him that damn seal. And he had been stupid enough to run off to that pedophile. Of course, there had been reprieves, like marrying his wife, but still, why else would all of this had happened to him if Kami didn't loathe him for some reason?

That was why, when he heard his beloved was in the hospital he rushed to her aid with his ebony hair flying behind him, he ran with chakra enforced speed to the hospital. She had to be okay. He needed her to be okay. He had no idea what he'd do if she didn't pull through, but it probably wouldn't be good. God, Kami couldn't just give him a break?

He was in the hospital's waiting room within minutes. He couldn't seem to stop fidgeting and he was flipping a magazine's pages way to fast to actually be reading. He shot out of his seat when Tsunade came out of a room with a very grim look on her face.

"Uchiha," she began, "Sakura is fine. And it seems like you have a son. But I have to warn you-." She didn't get another word out; he had taken off to find his wife's room. Apparently, she was still alive and they had a son now; obviously Kami's smite wasn't that horrible.

Tsunade put her hand over her mouth and stifled her laughter by pretending to cough. Well, she thought, I tried to tell him. Uchiha is in for the shock of his life.

He quickly found the room and rushed in. Sakura was sitting on the bed, reading a book. Sasuke looked confused. "Honey?"

Sakura turned to face her husband and she gave him a tired smile. "What is it, Sasuke?"

"Um, where's our son?"

Sakura paled and looked a little nervous. "Well, the nurse just went to clean him up a bit. I'm sure she'll bring him back soon. Why don't you just wait here?"

Sasuke shook his head and kissed her cheek. "Sorry. I need to see the new Uchiha heir. I'll come back later, ne?" With that, he smiled and said goodbye.

Sakura waved back at him, and as soon as the door shut, she checked all the exits. There were two open windows. Excellent. After all, she was pretty sure that in a few minutes, all hell would break loose, and she wanted to be far, far away from the hospital when that happened. Possibly the Sand Village.

Sasuke walked briskly down the hallway until he came across a nurse washing a baby. He was about to ask her if this was the Uchiha's child, but he realized that the baby didn't have his dark locks. He turned around to continue down the hall when he realized that, although the newborn didn't have his hair, the kid sure as hell had pink hair. And weren't those his wife's green eyes? He knew Kami was mean, but this was just cruel!

"SAKURA!" He screamed.

Sakura poked her head out of her door and smiled meekly. "Yes?"

Sasuke glared and fumed and steamed and raged and, all of a sudden, collapsed to the floor.

The nurse came over, holding the baby Uchiha. "Ma'am," she said to Sakura, "I think he's fainted from the shock."

Sakura smiled at the nurse, took back her child, and walked back to her room. The baby gave her a toothless grin. "Aa," Sakura giggled and turned towards the ceiling, "Sasuke should've expected this, ne, Kami-sama?"

A/N: Poor Sasuke, he keeps suffering the smite of Kami-sama. So, tell me what you thought in a review! Criticism is welcome. -SakuraDouble

Note to Heart's Door: You just try and find a grammatical error. I dare you. And when you can't, bow down at my grammatical brilliance because, that's right, I finally did it. Thanks for being the great, fabulous, awesome, genius person that you are and for reviewing all my other works, where you always find a way to make them better! -SakuraDouble