Gary Falls Down a Well

Author's Note: Okay, the explanation: I started writing this on the way home from a state marching band competition. It was a long day (not to mention there were a ton of thunderstorm and flash flood warnings), so I think the exhaustion and slight fear made me a little loopy. I couldn't get this silly image out of my head, so I wrote about it. Next week is my last week of marching band, so hopefully (take it with a salt shaker though) I'll be writing more (I stayed up late to finish this). Anyway, enough of my ranting, enjoy.

"Wait, you-" Ash balked, dumbfoundedly staring at the stone enclosure. "You fell down a well?"

"What more do I need to tell ya!?" Gary shouted, his vocals echoing to the outside. "I thought you'd at least be competent enough to figure that out!"

Ash and Misty exchanged glances. When they came to a silent, but mutual realization, their faces contorted into tight smiles and they snorted with restrained laughter.

"Guys, this is serious!" Brock scolded. "I know that you don't like Gary, but this is dangerous and he really needs our help!"

"Come on Brock," Ash giggled. "
...It's Gary." He continued cackling in the comfort of his female companion.

"Hey, why don't you get your girls to help you out?" Misty taunted.

"Maybe if you're lucky, they'll cry enough to float you to the top!" Ash and Misty burst out laughing and hugged each other.

"Did you insult the girls?" Gary said. "You're just asking for it, Ash!"

"Why don't you come out and prove it?" The two preteens' tittering intensified, and they were giving each other congratulatory high fives and other jovial gestures. Ash had to lean on Misty's shoulder for support, as his heckling had left him breathless.

"You two are the most immature-" Brock was cut off by the sound of bawling to the right of him. "What the?" He marched over the empty grassy terrain in the direction of the sound to a tree, where he found one of Gary's cheerleaders, her knees close to her chest and her yellow pom-poms hiding her face.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you okay?" The Gym Leader asked after tapping her shoulder.

She meekly looked up at him and sniffled. "No, everything's NOT okay! Gary fell down a well!" She dove into Brock's chest and flat out sobbed. "What if he doesn't come out? What am I gonna do without him? Oh, Gary-"

Brock, flustered (from resisting his customary urge to profess his love to any woman he encountered), lightly pushed her away and planted his hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me," he said slowly. "We're gonna fix this. If there's a well, there must be a town close by. We're going to find that town and get some help." He let go of her, and she slightly stumbled. "Where are the others?"

"Th-They went to go find a town..." She pointed in a northwest direction.

"Then we're going there."


"Hey Gary, why did the Spearow cross the road?" Ash asked.

A moment of silence. "...Why?" Gary huffed.

"So he wouldn't fall down the well like you!" Ash threw his head on the lip of the well and banged his fist against it in his laughing fit.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Gary shot back, blustering. "A Spearow could just fly out!"

"It doesn't have to, you're stuck in a well!" Misty reveled in her latest torment by slumping herself on top of Ash and pounding on his back. Ash slightly shifted because of this, and attempted to regain his ground by gripping onto the slippery rocks harder.

"Wait, I got another one!" Misty announced, leaning on the boy more and increasing his imbalance. "What do you get when you combine a-"

"Misty!" Ash cried. "Stop! I'm slipping!"

"Huh?" She let go of her friend, who had now fully lost his grip and fell down into the pit of the well with a thud on top of his rival.

"What did you do-" Gary pulled himself out from under Ash and flashed him a smug look upon recognizing him. "Looks like Ashy-boy's down here too."

The other boy, embarrassed, scrambled into a sitting position facing away from Gary. "Why did I have to get stuck with you?"

"I'm the one who should be saying that."

Misty peered down the well first in curiosity, then anger. "Ash, you idiot! How could you fall down the well?"

"It's not my fault! You're the one who pushed me down here!"

"Quit blaming this on me! Now I have to come down and rescue you!"

Gary scoffed. "Is this how you two always act?"

"Stay outta this!" Ash retorted.

"You're dating a child, Misty."

The redhead guffawed at the statement. "What did you say?" she screamed, blushing profusely. "You disrespectful, pathetic little-" She balled her hands into fists. "Why I oughtta-"

"Misty, calm down!" Ash warned. "You don't want to fall down here too, do you?" Gary gave him a mischievous glance, which Ash returned with a glare. "He's just trying to get on your nerves."

"What, with the truth?"

"Take that back!"

Gary laughed. "Why don't you come over here and make me?"

Ash, who was about to lunge at his partner in the pit, was interrupted by a call to action by Misty. "You guys should work together!"

The professor's grandson looked down in a shy manner. "All of my Pokémon are too big to get us out. What about you?"

Mirroring the cooperative spirit of his rival, Ash withdrew a Poké Ball from his jacket. "Maybe Bulbasaur can help us." He released the seed Pokémon, its green bud shining in the sunlight filtering in from above. "Bulbasaur, use Vine Whip!"

"Bulba!" it chanted. Its slender vines snaked out from the bulb on its back and ascended to the top of the well. Bulbasaur strained itself to reach the blue sky, but it gave out and only grazed the stony wall. It gave a disappointed whimper as it retracted its vines.

"Nice going," Gary spat, his arms crossed. "Figures that your pathetic Pokémon would screw up."

"I don't see you coming up with anything," Ash said while returning Bulbasaur to its Poké Ball. "Pidgeotto's too big to fly us out. I guess we'll just have to wait for help." Gary only sighed in resignation.


Misty sat with her back to the well, blankly staring out at the landscape in front of her. The shadow of her body was longer than from earlier, serving as its own sundial. However, she reanimated herself when she saw a pack of people storming toward her, a familiar face at the head. "Brock?"

"Misty!" he called. He came near skidding to a halt in front of her, Gary's teary-eyed cheerleaders and a fireman carrying a ladder in tow. "It's okay! I have everything under control now."

"You got help?" Misty lept up and hollered down the well. "We got help!"

"It's about time," Gary said. "I'm sick of being stuck down here with this loser!"

"Same here," Ash responded.

"You kids stay still," the fireman commanded in an aging voice. "I'm coming to get you."

He first thoughtfully rustled around in one of the pockets on his red and yellow uniform, and fished out a Poké Ball. "Poliwrath, use Mega Punch and break the surface!"

The muscular blue frog pounded the ground upon its release, then, following its master's orders, hurled its massive fists at the gray enclosure. It crumbled almost instantly, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake.

"That well's dried up a long time ago, it needed to be sealed off anyway." The fireman explained, retrieving his discarded ladder. "I'm dropping down a ladder. Grab onto it and climb out, but one at a time!" With the help of his Poliwrath, he cast the ladder into the pit and held it down.

The two kids immediately heard a metallic clang, then saw the bright red sides of the ladder descend onto them. With Ash going first, he climbed his way to the top and was hoisted out by the fireman.

"I'm finally outta there," Ash sighed, his arms hanging limp in front of his slouched form.

"I can't believe you fell in there too Ash!" Brock said. "Was it really worth it?"

Ash brought the brim of his hat closer to his face. "I guess not…."

Meanwhile, Gary barely had time to step out of the hole before he was swept away by his entourage of cheerleaders, wailing and gawking at his return.

"I'm so happy you're back!"

"Are you hurt, sweetie bear?"

"I knew you'd get out. You're the best!"

"Ladies, calm down," Gary coughed, smothered by the girls' affection. "There's plenty of me to go around. But let's get outta here first." As if on a psychic cue, his red sports car zoomed up and came to a screeching halt next to him. Gary inserted himself in the passenger seat while the girls piled into the back. He signaled the driver, and gave his signature farewell gesture before speeding off.

Ash bleakly stared at the spot where his rival used to be. "What now?"

"We get you checked out for injuries." Brock said. Ash and Misty shared a continuous laugh, which Brock didn't take part in. "This isn't funny! He could have serious internal bleeding! Guys!"

Author's Note: Oh, and if you're wondering where Pikachu is, he was sitting on the bus with me sipping ketchup while I wrote this (I actually had a Pikachu pillow with me on the band bus).