I played around with the words Merrill tells Fenris and came up with this one-shot. This is dedicated to my good friend Eynla who loves reading Fanfiction about Fenris and Hawke! It's the very first time I write something romantic about Fenris, so I hope you like it! :D
Happy Easter everyone!
Disclaimer: Bioware owns everything, I just play with the characters!
In Love
"You're in love!"
Merrill's words filled him with anger, but it was directed at the Dalish mage and not at the actual words themselves or their meaning. His deep green eyes flicked over to Hawke's delicate form in front of him. It was done almost reflexively and barely noticeable by anyone – or so he had thought. When he replied, he did so defensively. The blood mage's observation had taken him aback.
"I am not."
He saw Hawke's shoulders droop at his words and instantly wished he hadn't said them. Merrill's words reached his ears, but he kept his eyes on Hawke.
"You keep looking at her and every time she looks away, you stare at her with those sad, puppy eyes," the Dalish mage retorted with a chuckle.
Fenris turned to look at Merrill with a scowl. "There are NO puppy eyes!"
Varric chuckled beside Merril, earning a glare from the white-haired elf. The dwarf immediately turned his attention to the Dalish elf, ignoring Fenris completely.
"So, Daisy," he drawled. "Discovered any other gardens recently?"
"Oh, yes!" Merrill smiled as she replied. "I found some with some beautiful red roses the other day!"
"And where would that one be?" Varric asked, mildly curious.
Ignoring the chattering behind her, Hawke turned and began to walk towards one of the Dalish elves. Fenris's eyes were immediately drawn to her again. Her hips swayed seductively and he groaned inwardly. He could hear Merrill still talking to Varric behind him – but their words were lost as he successfully shut them out, devoting all his attention to what Hawke was doing.
His mind suddenly and unwillingly conjured the images of that night when they had made love three years ago, the memory of her touch stoking the flames; making him want to reach out and take her in his arms once again.
And now he was following her, just as he always did.
It has nothing to do with love. I owe her.
He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, stubbornly holding on to the thought.
…
The fight that took place afterwards in the deep, dark cavern with the Varterral was a welcomed reprieve for Fenris.
It certainly took his mind off his feelings for the time being.
Even so, when he finally managed to deal a blow that stunned the monstrous creature before him, he was momentarily distracted by Hawke flinging a powerful hex on the Varterral. Her magic still captivated him, even after years of fighting at her side.
"Look out!" Hawke suddenly cried out, quickly using her staff to shoot flames at the Varterral, which was now lunging at Fenris.
The white-haired elf quickly stepped to the side, the monster screaming in frustration. It turned its attention to Hawke, and she quickly distanced herself. Fenris, in the meantime, had positioned himself behind the creature, while Merrill focused on an ice spell that momentarily froze it. At that moment, at least half a dozen giant spiders dropped down to the ground – three of them heading directly towards Hawke.
"Venhedis!" Fenris swore in Tevene, just as Varric aimed Bianca directly at the newcomers and fired away.
"There's nothing Bianca can't kill," Varric yelled in almost a sing-song voice.
But Fenris was already correcting his error. Just as Hawke's ice spell managed to freeze the monster, he dealt a deadly blow that shattered its many legs, which in turn gave them the advantage to finish the creature off.
They dealt with the few remaining giant spiders and Hawke instantly turned to her group, checking for any wounds to heal. As soon as she approached Fenris, he looked directly into her eyes, and she faltered for a few minutes.
The smoldering, deep green eyes that held hers were full of longing and desire. Hawke herself felt the desire suddenly shooting through her entire body and leaned forward slightly, her rosy lips parting.
"Varterrals don't really die, you know," Merrill said behind them, causing Hawke to take an involuntary step back.
The spell was broken. Marian Hawke lowered her eyes and focused on healing Fenris's wounds with a serious expression on her face. Fenris glared at Merrill, causing her to blink back at him, clueless as usual.
"There's an opening up ahead," Varric said to no one in particular. "We should try to find this assassin, before he escapes."
As if on cue, a blond, tanned elf suddenly stepped forward from the shadows, causing Hawke to unsheathe her staff and adopt a defensive stance. This was probably their target, but Fenris was mildly surprised when moments later, Hawke sheathed her weapon and started to question the blond elf.
What was she doing?
The newcomer had already introduced himself as Zevran Arainai. He was a chatty one, and did not hesitate to let them know that the people who had 'hired' Hawke were the Crows – a group of Antivan assassins that were hunting him because he had left their group.
Fenris frowned. Hawke was now flirting with Zevran.
He would have to do something about that.
…
The group made its way to the Crow camp, where Marian confronted Nuncio, the man who had hired her. Zevran showed up, much to Fenris's dismay. They ended up fighting the Crows. Once the last man had been killed, Marian and her team busied themselves looting the camp.
Zevran approached her, thanking her for her help. Then the blond, tanned elf made a terrible mistake: He decided to proposition Hawke with a seductive smile on his face.
"Oh, boy!" Varric interjected from where he was standing, watching Fenris closely with a wide grin on his face.
Merrill giggled and Marian Hawke blushed. But before she could respond, Fenris had stepped up – his upper lip curled upwards in a snarl.
"I suggest you leave before your luck runs out."
Varric let out a chuckle and Fenris gave the dwarf a murderous gaze that silenced him.
Zevran, however, quickly mumbled an apology of sorts and bowed to Marian Hawke, whose heart was now thumping so hard, she was sure everyone could hear it.
"Perhaps we will meet again, Champion."
"If you have a death wish, by all means!" Varric said in an audible whisper as the blond elf left.
The group made their way back to Kirkwall in silence, until Varric and Merrill started chatting to each other. Hawke was still feeling slightly elated from what had just happened. Could it be true that Fenris really did feel something for her? That display of possessiveness told her that he considered her his, that much was certain. She sighed and shook her head slightly, her mind now on that night they had spent together three years ago.
…
They walked Merrill to her home first and then Varric to the Hanged Man. In a few minutes she would be alone with him. Her heart started to thump wildly at the thought and she actually had to catch her breath and will herself to stay calm.
When Varric said good night and entered The Hanged Man, Fenris fell into step beside her as they walked up the stairs into the now empty market. The night air felt cool and soothing on his face, but he didn't feel at all calm, even though he looked very composed.
When they reached the Amell Estate, Fenris turned to face her, with a half-smile on his face.
"I've a favor to ask of you," he said in a low voice. "Maybe I shouldn't ask but –"
"I'll do anything you ask me, Fenris!" The words tumbled out before she could even think what she was saying, and Marian blushed profusely, thanking the Maker that it was a dark night.
Fenris actually chuckled at her words, his smile sending shivers up and down her spine.
"Anything?"
He was actually flirting with her now. Openly.
"Well, you know what I mean," Marian smiled.
"I wonder if you could come see me tomorrow morning. Aveline is supposed to have an answer for me then, and I'll be able to explain it better."
"I'll be there," Marian nodded, fixing her blue eyes on his deep, green ones.
For the briefest of moments it looked like he was about to lean forward and kiss her. Then, he simply turned away and left.
Marian frowned as she let herself into the estate. She then knelt by the fire to pet her dog who was overjoyed to see her.
"Well, we'll see what happens tomorrow, won't we?" she said softly to herself as she turned to the stairs.
She could tell already that it was going to be a long night.
…
Fenris paced his room once again, pausing at the roaring fire for a few seconds before resuming his walk. He was free from Danarius at last, but that didn't stop him from brooding even more as he tried to grasp exactly what it was that he was feeling. The more he paced, the angrier he got. She was a mage. Magic was a part of her. Magic had nearly destroyed him – had forced him to do things he hated. How could he –
"Fenris?"
The whisper startled him. He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't heard her entering the mansion.
"Venhedis! Fasta Vaas!"
"I really would like to know what that means exactly," Hawke shot back at him with a half-smile.
Fenris shook his head. "No. You really wouldn't." He continued to pace back and forth and she sighed, sitting down on the nearest chair.
He turned to face her at last and sat down. "Danarius is dead. I assume you believe I should be dancing for joy?"
"Don't tell me you're going to miss him and his well-thought ploys to capture you?" Marian smiled.
Her sense of humor. That very same sense of humor had been what he had loved about her from the very first moment he met her.
"No. I don't think so," he replied with a chuckle. Fenris then sighed and shook his head. "I thought this would solve everything, but it hasn't. Magic destroyed my life and it's difficult to overlook that."
"Blaming magic again, are you?" Marian countered with a frown.
"Think about it. Look at what happened to your mother," Fenris replied earnestly, his voice a rumble. "Look at the life you've had to live, escaping from the Templars. How has magic helped you?"
"It's saved my life for one. And saved yours for that matter. Many times over," Hawke replied undaunted.
"I'm not saying magic isn't useful," Fenris replied, his deep green eyes holding hers.
"I know what you're saying," Marian shook her head. "I wish you'd understand that I led a happy-enough life. My father was a mage and he was a good, kind, and honest man who taught me what I know today. We learned how to live by his example."
"For every mage like yourself and your father, there are at least twenty mages out there that would use their powers to kill and enslave," Fenris commented, the love in his eyes now unmistakably present. "Those are the ones everyone should fear. Even you."
Marian sighed. She couldn't deny he had a point. "But that doesn't mean you should blame magic for everything," she said softly.
"That's true," Fenris conceded with a sigh. A few moments of silence followed his words, until he raised his eyes again to meet hers. "I – understand why you asked me to let my sister live."
"You do?" She didn't sound at all surprised at his admission though, and Fenris smiled again.
"I realize now that you were saving me from something that I would probably regret later on. Even if I don't see it now." Fenris took his gauntlets off, and stood in front of the fireplace to warm his hands. "I trust your judgment in this. Completely."
He turned and sat back down again, looking at her intently. "Where do we go from here?"
Marian's heart fluttered. Nevertheless, she forced herself to remain calm. "Where do you think we should go?"
"I know we've never spoken about that night we shared three years ago," Fenris rumbled, the intensity in his eyes making even her knees tremble.
"I tried, but you didn't want to talk about it," she said, her voice nearly a whisper.
"I felt like such a fool. I thought it better if you hated me. I deserved no less, because of what I did – walking out on you like a coward. I can't get that night out of my head, Marian. Your touch, your kisses…You."
Marian couldn't bring herself to talk, her heart would surely burst out any minute now from all its infernal beating. He stood up and got closer. So close that he was towering over her, looking down at her lovingly and at the same time with a sadness that was plain to see.
"I hope you can forgive me now for what I did. I would…"he paused ever so briefly, "understand if you didn't."
"I understand the memories you must have had that night startled you, Fenris. It must have been too much to take in all at once. I think I always understood that."
"I want us to be together, Marian. I want us to make a future together if you'll have me," he bent over, his lips a mere few inches from hers. "I will walk into anything the future throws at us gladly if I am at your side."
She stood up with a smile and practically threw herself at him. Fenris held her closely, kissing her passionately, letting himself go at last. His hands ran over her back and then pressed her to him even tighter, her gasp lost in the fierceness of their kisses.
He never knew how they got to his bed, but they were suddenly on it. With a growl he nearly ripped her robes off, and let her tug at the straps that held his chest piece in place. He helped her get it off, but that short separation, however brief, made him gather her in his arms even more urgently than before if possible.
He adored every inch of her body. Every sigh that escaped her lips fueled him on through the night, until they were finally spent and lay in each other arms.
The scene with Merrill and her words suddenly came into his head, just like that – totally unbidden – and he smiled into the darkness.
He could not deny his feelings any longer. He had been living a lie from the moment he left the Amell Estate that night three years ago.
Turning to look at her, he smiled as he reached out to embrace her.
"Do you remember what Merrill said when we were at the Dalish camp?"
She opened her eyes, which flashed orange from the light of the fire that was still steadily burning. He could tell she knew exactly what he was talking about because she pursed her lips then gave him a nervous smile. He lifted her chin up and his lips sought hers.
"I'm sorry I said that," he murmured after their kiss. "I was sorry the moment I said it."
"I know."
"Oh? And how is it that you know?" he smiled.
She giggled then, and her eyes twinkled up at him. "Because you're looking at me with puppy eyes."
….