Caffeine Mix-Up

Disclaimer ~ I do not own Naruto

*The one where the coffee gets mixed up*

Naruto went about his morning the same way he usually does. Force himself out of bed, get ready, get his coffee from his favorite café, and go to meet his team. He was the first one to arrive at their meeting place on the bridge, which was just fine because he needed some time to let the coffee wake him up and get him functioning. He didn't realize the reason he wasn't waking up was that the new girl at the coffee shop gave him the wrong coffee.

~Line~

Shikamaru's mother dragged him out of bed and forced him to get ready, as was his morning routine. She sent him out the door in the direction of the coffee shop and chuckled as he slowly made his way there. Shikamaru grabbed his coffee from the new lady at the counter and made his way to meet his team. As Shikamaru sipped on his coffee he felt himself starting to buzz with energy. Sadly because of this he wasn't able to figure out the reason was because of the new girl giving him the wrong coffee.

~Line~

Neji forced himself to his feet and got dressed slowly. It took him a few tries to get ready without forgetting something before going outside the Hyuuga compound and making his way to the coffee shop. He vaguely registered there was a new lady giving him his coffee before he felt himself start to completely vibrate with energy. He sprinted off in the direction of his team meeting place, not realizing his coffee had been mixed up.

~Line~

Naruto barely registered his teammates arriving until Sakura screamed at him for arriving before her precious Sasuke-kun. He tried to ignore her and was doing a good job of it until she decided to try and punch him. Naruto wasn't in the mood to deal with people at the moment and growled at her as she approached.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked confused, backing up a little. Even Sasuke looked at the blonde in confusion. He was acting completely out of character. Naruto just growled again and went back to ignoring them. Sakura and Sasuke exchanged worried looks right as Kakashi showed up in a poof of smoke. Kakashi was worried when he didn't hear the usual shouts about him being late and looked at his genin. Naruto was sitting against a tree looking at the water while Sakura and Sasuke were just staring at him. Kakashi looked at Naruto closer and immediately noticed what was wrong.

"Naruto? Did you get your coffee this morning?" Kakashi asked quietly as he crouched a few feet away from him. Naruto growling was his answer. Kakashi sighed and reached into his jacket. He pulled out a bottle filled with pills and handed three of them to Naruto, who immediately swallowed them. The others waited a few minutes before Naruto stood up and stretched.

"Thanks Kakashi-sensei. I actually did go to the coffee shop today. Now that I think about it, there was a new girl working there today. I think she gave me the wrong coffee," Naruto said.

"What did you give him Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked watching Naruto in case he started to growl again.

"Caffeine pills. Main use for missions," Kakashi replied.

"Why does the dobe need caffeine pills?" Sasuke asked in genuine confusion. Naruto turned to him with a dead-panned face.

"If I am on a mission and I don't get any caffeine the first thing to irritate me will most like die or get tortured into insanity. This has been going on since I was three," Naruto explained with Kakashi nodding to say it was true. They didn't get the chance to say more as Shikamaru ran by before turning around and glomping Naruto happily. The other three members of team ten appeared a few seconds later. Obviously chasing him.

"Naru! I misses you!" Shikamaru yelled hugging Naruto harder.

"Shika! Can't breathe!" Naruto gasped out. Shikamaru moved his arms to where they were wrapped around Naruto's shoulders instead.

"But I misses you. I haven't seen you or Neji in forever!" Shikamaru exclaimed. Naruto sighed.

"What *pant* is going *pant* on?" Ino questioned trying to catch her breath. Naruto adopted an expression of horror after thinking for a few seconds.

"Shit! If I was given the wrong coffee then Shika definitely was. And if Shika and I both have the wrong coffee then Neji has a chance of having the wrong one too. Shit! World is going to end! I need ninja wire and rope. Maybe a few exploding tags. I will definitely need a squirrel. Then I need to get some herbs. Maybe a good idea to get those first. Wouldn't hurt to grab some decoys. Shit! This is going to take forever to grab everything. Wait! Clones. How could I forget that?! Damn it! Okay back on track. Need to set up the bunker immediately," Naruto ranted to himself.

"What are you talking about Naru? Can I join in?" Shikamaru asked cheerfully. Naruto jumped, as if he had forgotten Shikamaru was there.

"Yes you can join in. I just need you to stay completely still for a few minutes," Naruto said. Shikamaru nodded and stayed completely still. Or, as still as he could since he was practically bouncing in place.

"I need more ninja wire. Hand over what you have before he moves!" Naruto whisper shouted at the others. Ino, Choji, and Asuma eagerly handed theirs over, eager to get rid of the hyper Shikamaru, while Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi did so hesitantly.

"Why do you need so much?" Sakura asked in confusion. Naruto ignored her as he quickly wrapped all the wire around Shikamaru. He didn't stop what he was doing until Shikamaru was wrapped, head to toe, in as much wire as possible. He even made a leash and held his end in his hand when he turned to look at them.

"Simple. We need to keep him restrained until all the caffeine leaves his system. If not it will only get worse. Trust me. The caffeine had barely entered his system when he made it here," Naruto explained

"Impossible," Ino groaned falling to the ground in a heap. Choji and Asuma followed her example. The former still trying to regulate his breathing. Naruto didn't get a chance to reply as Hinata ran up to him terrified.

"Naruto! It happened again! Neji-nii-san is berserk!" Hinata exclaimed sobbing into Naruto's chest. Naruto wrapped the arm that wasn't holding Shikamaru's leash around her in comfort.

"I was afraid of that. I need you to hold onto to Shika. Don't let him escape. I will grab the stuff to handle Neji. Ino, can you report to the hokage and tell him code CM-3. He will understand," Naruto waited as Ino ran off before continuing. "Kakashi. Asuma. I need you to get me as many squirrels as you can in four minutes. Oh! Can you go and get a Nara Special from Oak Café, Choji? I have to grab the herbs and make the counter caffeine," Naruto rushed off not giving anyone a chance to do anything. The three males decided to just do as they were told and took off.

"Sakura! Help me!" Hinata exclaimed pulling on the leash of a struggling Shikamaru. Sakura ran over and helped the normally shy girl restrain Shikamaru. They didn't have to struggle long as the hokage, Ino, and an ANBU appeared. The ANBU slammed his hands on the ground and a wooden cage appeared around Shikamaru. There was no way Shikamaru could escape. Hinata and Sakura slumped to the ground in relief right as Naruto returned.

"Thanks Jiji. Now. Bowl. Need a bowl. Shit! No bowl! ANBU guy Loan me your mask!" Naruto grabbed the mask off of the ANBU and proceeded to grind all the herbs into a paste with a stick. Kakashi and Asuma chose that moment to appear with seven squirrels between them.

"Tenzo? What are you doing here?" Kakashi asked as the ANBU, now identified as Tenzo, made another cage for the squirrels.

"Here to assist in capturing Shikamaru Nara and Neji Hyuuga from the triple caffeine mix-up Kakashi-senpai," Tenzo replies. Naruto finished making his paste and approached Shikamaru's cage.

"ANBU-san. I need you to release him," Naruto said as he scooped some of the paste onto his finger and wordlessly handed the makeshift bowel to Hinata. She took it and backed up until she was far enough away from the cage. Tenzo put his hands on the ground and the cage slowly receded back into the ground. Shikamaru was immediately making his escape, but with all the ninja wire around him, he looked like a worm. Naruto jumped onto Shikamaru's back and used his arm without the paste to hold his head still and force Shikamaru's mouth open. Naruto shoved the paste into Shikamaru's mouth and didn't release him until he made sure the other swallowed it. The results were immediate. Shikamaru stopped struggling and looked around in a sleepy confusion.

"Naru?" Shikamaru asked sleepily as Naruto untied the ninja wire. Shikamaru moved his recently free hand to rub at his eyes and let out a yawn. Everyone around him, minus Naruto, all shared the same thought, 'cute'.

"Hey Shika. Coffee is on the way so do me a favor and stay awake long enough to get it," Naruto said softly as he helped the other boy to his feet. Shikamaru yawned again and leaned against Naruto right as Choji arrived.

"Here Naruto," Choji said handing Naruto the coffee and looking at Shikamaru cautiously. Naruto thanked Choji and pressed the cup of coffee against his lips. Shikamaru slowly brought his hand up and started drinking the coffee. The more he drank the more awake he became. Naruto waited until Shikamaru had finished the cup before stepping back. Shikamaru looked around.

"Judging from the looks everyone is shooting me and the slightly irritated look you have I believe it is safe to assume we got the wrong coffee this morning. Correct?" Shikamaru questioned getting sighs of relief from everyone else.

"Yeah. I got yours and you got Neji's," Naruto explained.

"What do you mean Naruto is slightly irritated?" Sakura asked cautiously.

"My guess is he is running only on caffeine pills. They don't help him out of his morning mood. They only give him enough energy to function correctly," Shikamaru explained. Naruto gave him a half-hearted glare but didn't say anything.

"We need to focus on the matter at hand. Neji. It is very bad if he has my coffee," Naruto said getting immediate nods from Shikamaru, The Hokage, Hinata, Tenzo, and Kakashi. Everyone else looked at them in confusion.

"Why would that be bad?" Sakura asked innocently.

"His coffee has enough energy in it to run an army for a year on one sip," Shikamaru said.

"Stop exaggerating," Naruto replied rolling his eyes. "My coffee is probably the strongest coffee in the world though," Naruto explained.

"Naruto is probably the only human able to drink it without going into cardiac arrest," Sarutobi said chuckling.

"Menace to his enemies with extra is what he is," Kakashi grumbled.

"I almost don't want to know," Ino said.

"Do you know how bad Shikamaru was with Neji's coffee? Neji with Naruto's coffee is about a hundred times worse. Konoha can easily be destroyed by him the way he is now. Not to mention the effects it would have on Neji's body," Kakashi explained seriously. Everyone's face morphed into expressions of horror.

"What should we do?" Sakura asked quietly. Everyone turned to look at Naruto and Shikamaru.

"A combination of Plan S, Plan N, and Plan P. That is our best bet to capture him long enough to get him to eat the paste," Shikamaru said. Those who knew about those plans nodded.

"Can you explain for us?" Sasuke asked. Naruto shook his head.

"Sorry but we can't chance him overhearing us," Naruto answered. Everyone looked around them cautiously.

"You kids head home for now. The rest of us can handle this," the Hokage said. Reluctantly Sakura, Ino, Choji, and Sasuke left.

"Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto yelled making about thirty clones.

"Seven of you set up Plan P. Three of you prepare Plan S. Five of you set up Plan N. The rest of you track down Neji. Dispel yourselves when you find him," Naruto ordered his clones. The clones didn't get a chance to do anything as a brown blur ran through them, taking out ten of them at once.

"Shit! He's here!" Shikamaru yelled in horror as Neji suddenly froze and looked at the group. Everyone waited with bated breaths as Neji slowly walked closer towards them. That is until he suddenly smiled wide and bounced over to the squirrel cage.

"Ooh! SQUIRREL! Look how cute they are! Lee! Tenten! Gai-sensei! Look at the pretty squirrels!" Neji yelled looking behind him eagerly. His face morphed into one of confusion when he saw they weren't there.

"Where'd they go?" Neji asked looking dejected. Hinata decided to take this chance. She walked over to Neji slowly.

"Neji-nii-san. Your teammates wanted to give you a big surprise," Hinata said softly, hoping she wouldn't scare him off. Neji perked up a little bit and looked at her hopefully.

"Really?" Neji asked looking up at her with wide eyes.

"On one condition though. You have to eat all of this for me okay?" Hinata asked holding out the makeshift bowl to Neji. After a few seconds of tensed silence Neji slowly reached out and took the bowl. He gathered all the remaining paste into one glob and quickly shoved the glob into his mouth.

It took longer for the effects to show on Neji compared to Shikamaru but after a minute Neji fell to the ground, asleep. Everyone in the clearing let out sighs of relief, most slumping to the ground in exhaustion.

"That was extremely lucky," Kakashi said.

"Yes it was," the others in the clearing chanted together. It was that moment when the remaining members of Team 9 appeared. They were all panting heavily, including Lee and Gai. Everyone waited for them to regain their breaths as they stared at the sleeping Neji.

"I don't know what you did, but I think I speak on behalf of my entire team when I say THANK YOU! HE WAS A MENACE!" Tenten yelled joining those slumped on the ground.

"His youthfulness was too much. I like the other Neji," Gai said with Lee nodding along.

"He had the wrong coffee this morning," Kakashi explained. The genin watched as Gai's face turned an interesting shade of pale.

"That …. Explains a lot," Gai said before joining Neji in the world of unconsciousness.

Okay, here's the second reposted chapter for Naruto. There was no particular reason I chose Neji and Shikamaru except for they don't seem like the type to be very loud or hyper (obviously) so I picked them to traumatize people. Hope you enjoyed it!

Please review! Reviews are nice and they make me want to write. Even though writing kills my brain, the reviews I get from everyone makes it worth it!

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