A/N: In this story Noah and Jesse do not exist.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Amanda stumbled through the doors of the precinct, glancing at the clock and cursing under her breath. Bypassing the elevator, Amanda headed for the stairs taking them two at a time. Barreling around the corner, Amanda was so intent on her destination that she failed to notice Carisi until she was on top of him-literally. Papers littered the hallway and a stunned Carisi slowly sat up rubbing his head. Amanda's cheeks flushed scarlet as she quickly rolled off of Carisi.
"Carisi, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," Amanda stammered, reaching out to the detective. "Are you okay?"
Carisi gently waved her off, a familiar grin appearing on his face.
"I'm fine, Amanda, it's you you should be worried about."
Amanda's heart sank at Carisi's words.
"How mad is she?" she asked, trepidation creeping into her voice.
The grin slipped off of Carisi's face.
"If I were you, I wouldn't keep her waiting any longer."
Shakily Amanda pushed herself off of the floor and trudged towards the squadroom leaving Carisi behind to gather the papers.
The door squeaked when she opened it and Amanda glared at the hinges for proclaiming her arrival, but it hadn't even mattered. Olivia Benson stood in the center of the room, her arms tightly crossed and no trace of amusement on her face.
"Rollins, so nice of you to finally join us."
Amanda grimaced and braced herself for the scolding she knew was coming. Still, she couldn't help trying to explain.
"Lieutenant, I know I'm a little late but-"
"A little!" Olivia interrupted, an incredulous tone in her voice. "You're nearly 20 minutes late."
Amanda ducked her head, "I know, I know and I'm sorry but-"
"Save it Amanda," Olivia snapped, "I don't want to hear another one of your excuses. Just get back to work and be thankful you still have a job."
Averting her eyes from her lieutenant's glare, Amanda silently shuffled to her seat. Olivia watched her retreating form waiting until Amanda sat down before she returned to her office, letting the door swing shut with more force than necessary.
XXX
Back in her office Olivia slowly made her way back to her seat and gingerly lowered herself into the chair. She glanced out the window to see that Amanda had turned her chair so that her back was to Olivia instead of sideways like she normally sat. The sickening, familiar feeling of guilt welled up in the brunette; she hadn't meant to snap at Amanda, but she was more irritable than usual today.
Olivia eyed the bottle of ibuprofen on her desk in before tossing it in her desk drawer and slamming it closed; she'd already taken the maximum dose and it hadn't done more than slightly numb the pain. She winced at the feeling of the firm seat beneath her and longingly eyed the soft cushions of her couch. She debated transferring her workstation to the more forgiving material, but the knowledge that she would have to again stand and resituate herself gave her pause.
Intending to get back to work and leave well enough alone Olivia picked up her pen before setting it back down with a huff. Knowing her body would thank her later, Olivia forced herself to stand and began the tedious process of gathering her files and laptop, making sure to grab everything she could possibly need. She made her way over to the couch, her items precariously balanced in her arms.
Upon carefully setting down her possessions, Olivia let out a sigh of relief as she slowly eased herself onto the soft material. Mentally congratulating herself for her decision to switch seats, Olivia slipped her glasses on and resumed her work.
XXX
The hours passed slowly with the early darkening of the sky a false indicator of nighttime; a testament to the presence of winter.
Eventually evening arrived and one by one the squad slowly filed out, each having had enough for one day of the never ending caseload. Olivia slid her glasses off and massaged her temples, ready to call it a night herself. She briefly toyed with the thought of stopping for groceries but a sharp burst of pain settled her decision to order takeout. A sudden rap at the door roused Olivia from her thoughts and she curiously turned to face her visitor.
"Come in," she announced.
Blonde hair appeared in the doorway as Amanda peeked into the office. A look of confusion crossed her face as she noticed her lieutenant's vacant desk. Catching sight of movement in her peripheral vision, Amanda turned to face the brunette.
"Change of scenery?" Amanda remarked, nodding at Olivia's makeshift work space.
"Rollins, I thought you left already," Olivia responded tersely, ignoring Amanda's observation.
"I was about to, I just needed your signature for this last form," Amanda gestured to the paper in her hand.
Reaching for a pen, Olivia motioned for the form.
In her haste to vacate her lieutenant's presence, who was apparently still cross with her, Amanda inadvertently jostled Olivia's wrist in her attempt to give her the form, knocking the pen from her hand.
Amanda immediately apologized, starting to reach for the pen.
Reflexively Olivia also moved to retrieve the pen which had landed near her shoe. She bent over without thinking until the pain made her remember. She was unable to suppress a gasp as pain flared through her back.
"Liv, are you okay?" Amanda asked in alarm jerking upright, the pen forgotten.
"I'm fine," Olivia gritted in a tone that indicated anything but. She grabbed a different pen resting on a folder and hastily scribbled her signature on the form, handing it back to Amanda without further conversation making the dismissal clear.
Amanda hesitantly took the form, but she stayed rooted to the spot debating what to say. Clearly Olivia wasn't okay, but the problem would be getting her to admit that. Part of her wanted to heed Olivia's dismissal, knowing that the more she pried, the more defensive Olivia would become and considering the fact that she was still upset with her for being late she was more likely than usual to be on the receiving end of the lieutenant's hostility.
On the other hand, Olivia was obviously in pain and despite their numerous disagreements, Amanda couldn't in good conscience walk away and ignore the brunette's suffering.
"Are you sure you're okay? 'Cause you seem like you're in pain," Amanda ventured cautiously.
Olivia straightened up as best she could, which wasn't much, and pivoted to face Amanda. "I'm fine Rollins," Olivia reiterated, "My back is just a little sore, that's all." she ceded with a note of finality, cluing Amanda to let the subject drop.
Undeterred, Amanda pressed on. "Sore from what?" she inquired, unable to mask the concern in her tone as she tried and failed to meet Olivia's eyes as the brunette determinedly avoided her gaze.
A long period of silence ensued and Amanda began to think that she had overstepped her bounds. Well aware that she was one of the last people Olivia would confide in, Amanda was about to apologize for prying.
"I slipped," Olivia said at last, catching Amanda off-guard. "On the ice." Olivia admitted, a pale blush coloring her cheeks as she spoke.
"Oh," was all Amanda managed; she was too surprised to form a coherent sentence. The blonde hadn't expected her boss to actually confide in her. It was an unprecedented advance in their relationship, and she wasn't prepared for the turn of events. Attempting to regain control, Amanda pulled herself back together.
"When did this happen?" Amanda queried, wondering if she should have noticed something was wrong sooner.
"Two days ago," Olivia confessed, remembering how the morning of her rare consecutive two days off had gotten off to a terrible start. "But it's not as bad as it was," she rushed to add, seeing the heightened concern on the blonde's face. "The swelling is gone. It's just sore."
Amanda started to ask another question but Olivia cut her off.
"Thank you for your concern but I'll be fine, Amanda," Olivia briskly responded, closing her laptop and beginning to gather her papers into some semblance of order.
Like shades being drawn, Amanda watched as her boss's rare moment of vulnerability was replaced by the mask of professionalism she rarely forewent.
Amanda knew that was her cue to walk away. Now that she knew the brunette wasn't seriously injured, her worry lessened; and Olivia had made it clear that her presence was no longer welcome. Amanda knew she didn't have a rational reason to stay. Still, the part of her that was never content to leave well enough alone where Olivia was concerned wouldn't let the matter drop.
Steeling herself for a more pointed dismissal, Amanda voiced a suggestion.
"Maybe you should get a massage," she tentatively suggested, "That's what I usually do after a long day or after a stakeout," Amanda revealed before pausing, unprepared for Olivia to halt her actions and look directly at her.
"A massage," Olivia repeated, peering up at Amanda. "I wasn't aware you got those. Do they work?" Olivia asked curiously.
"Sometimes it helps. My sister and I used to practice on each other, we got pretty good at it," Amanda awkwardly shrugged. She wasn't used to Olivia seemingly taking an interest in her non-work related activities, unless they were her vices, and now that she did Amanda couldn't help but share.
"Maybe I'll try that," Olivia mused, truly considering the suggestion.
"I could give you the name of the place I go to," Amanda offered, and to her surprise Olivia nodded. "Or I could give you a massage tonight," Amanda proposed before freezing, her eyes widening in pure shock. Her brain struggled to catch up to the words her mouth had just spoken and when it did disbelief and abject horror set in.
Amanda's eyes flew up in alarm, fervently wishing that Olivia hadn't heard. But judging by the stunned expression on the brunette's face, luck was not on her side. She had just offered to massage her boss. Amanda felt the heat rise in her face as she stared at the floor desperately wishing it would open and swallow her whole.
Simultaneously, she started to stammer out an apology while backing her way to the door. Amanda had the feeling that she was only digging herself in deeper, but she couldn't make herself stop rambling.
"Okay."
The word stopped Amanda in her tracks. How she even managed to hear it over the roar of her own mind screaming at her, she didn't know. But it was enough to temporarily quell her panic and slow her escape. Amanda looked up, silently questioning if she had heard Olivia correctly.
To her surprise, Olivia actually looked amused. However; her mirth was quickly replaced by a grimace stemming from the twinge that shot through her back.
"You can give me a massage, Amanda," Olivia repeated when the pain ebbed.
"Okay," Amanda parroted, trying to compose herself.
"I have some massage oils at my place," Amanda announced, trying to look more at ease than she felt. "Do you want to follow me there or..."Amanda trailed off, unsure of the proper protocol for this; it was something she would never find in any handbook.
Olivia shook her head, "I took a cab. I didn't feel up to walking or driving," she confessed while shoving files in her bag, partly to expedite her clean up and partly because she didn't want to see Amanda's reaction when she realized just how weak she was feeling.
Amanda, to her credit, didn't give any outward reaction to Olivia's admission. However, after finding out just how restrictive the brunette's pain was, the blonde felt better about her bold offer.
"After you," Amanda announced with a flourish, holding open the office door.