Introduction
The PreDemora Discussions
May 2, 2259
Starbase 1
"Mr. Sulu? Are you awake sir?" A hand grasped his shoulder and shook him gently.
He opened his eyes slowly. It was a struggle, they felt sticky and rough. He focused, and made out a young woman in red, who smiled down at him kindly. He remembered where he was, sat up straighter and said, "I must have fallen asleep. Thanks, I'm awake now."
"Sir, your shuttle is boarding. I didn't want you to miss it after all the trouble you took to get here."
He remembered, she was providing security in the nearly empty waiting area of the shuttlebase. They had talked while she had checked his documents when he arrived. It seemed like it had been a long time ago, but it could only have been a few hours. He reached for his duffel, and stood up. He looked around and saw that most of the other passengers were already in the shuttle. He couldn't recall the young woman's name, so he said, "Thank you, ensign, I would not want to miss it, no," and started toward the line.
"Sir? Mr. Sulu?" The young woman called. He turned back. She came a little closer and said, "Sir, it was an honor to meet a member of the crew of the Enterprise."
"Really?" he asked doubtfully. She nodded. He cleared his throat and said, "Okay, um, nice to meet you too."
"I want to thank you for your service sir."
This happened occasionally, he never seemed to get better at accepting it. He said, "Um, you're welcome. Thank you for yours."
"There's no comparison sir. I was still at the academy last year. I could see the drill from central security. I owe you my life."
"Oh, well not me specifically, really."
"Could I shake your hand?"
"Sure, I, sure." Feeling incredibly awkward, Hikaru stuck his hand out.
She grasped it, and then said, "holo?' hopefully. He nodded and she swung closer to him. She held up a PADD and clicked. He had a brief glimpse of her smiling face with his swollen, sleepy one hovering above it.
"Thank you so much sir," she said happily.
"I, uh, you're welcome, I've got to, I better go," he said, gesturing toward the shuttle doors.
"Yes, I've taken up too much of your time, again, thank you sir, and good bye."
He nodded and hurried to the door, duffel bouncing against his hip. The steward smiled and said, "You're the last one."
"Sorry," he said, then grabbed his PADD and shoved his bag into a storage bin. He slipped into the empty seat below it and let the safety harness fasten itself.
"I don't believe I've seen you on this shuttle before," said the man next to him. He was older, and wore the blue tunic of the science division.
"No," Hikaru replied. "I've got leave. I'm headed home."
"So, this isn't your first warp flight?"
"No," Hikaru replied, squinting at the man's uniform, trying to make out his rank. "Not even my first one today commander."
The man looked out the port at the crew finishing the flight check. "I take this shuttle every weekend. It never ceases to amaze me. We'll be home in five hours. The longest part is after we get to our solar system. That is something, isn't it?"
"Yes sir," Hikaru said.
"Did you come far?" asked the man.
"Today, not so far," laughed Hikaru, "But 48 hours ago I was on a starship in the Chi quadrant. I transported from there to another starship, spent five hours on her, then transported to Starbase 5. From there I caught a commercial shuttle to Thu, where I got a jump seat on a reconnaissance flight that was going to Beta Thu, where I transported to the research facility at the end of their space. I waited there until I could catch a ride on a supply ship bound for here, and in five hours I will be in San Francisco. It's been interesting, but I am ready to be done."
"Impressive! I guess you are not worried about going to warp on a short shuttle ride then."
"No, not really," Hikaru agreed.
"That's a lot of traveling. You must really want to get home. What's the occasion?"
Hikaru took a deep breath. "I am going to be a father," he said.
"Congratulations!" the older man said, sticking out his hand.
Hikaru shook it. "Thank you," he said.
"Your first?" asked the man.
"Yes, our first."
"I should stop talking and let you rest while you still can. You are going to be busy, happy, but busy. Congratulations again." They man smiled again, then busied himself with a PADD.
Hikaru tried to go back to sleep, but his mind was spinning. He began to make a plan, an activity that he usually found soothing. In his head he started to list the things he would need to do once he arrived in San Francisco. Number 1, he thought, grab duffle bag. Number 2, get through customs. Number 3, find transport. Number 4, get to house, 5, talk to Ben.
He wanted to go on, but there was no way he could know what would happen after that, and he knew thinking about the many possibilities would only make him anxious. He sighed, and decided to read instead. He opened his PADD. A file labeled BAGF caught his eye. He touched the screen. Once open, the file's real title appeared, Being a Good Father. He read the eight points, then tapped the screen with his stylus a few times. He sighed, then reached up to close the file. But he paused, tapped the screen again, and then wrote quickly: 9. Don't say shut up. Immediately, he felt a little better. As always, writing down a goal made him feel like he had already accomplished something.
He read the list again. It was good, he thought, although now it wasn't finished. All his lists ended in an even number. Adding a ninth point meant he had to add a tenth. Still, the addition was worth the extra work. He wanted his daughter to feel listened to. No, he corrected himself, he wanted his daughter to be listened to, and she would be more likely to speak up if he never suggested she shouldn't.
He looked at the list again. He had been writing ones like it all his life, it was one of the ways he stayed organized, but this one he had found hard. He had started it months ago, in sickbay, when he'd woken up surprised to be alive after the fight on Yer. He'd been grateful to have lived, but that hadn't inspired the list. Neither had it been an effort to fulfill a desperate pledge he'd made to some deity. Truthfully, the captain had inspired him.
Nyota often said Hikaru was too competitive, and he supposed she was right. Captain Kirk had been injured too, and lying in the next bed. He'd probably been teasing when he had said that he would make a better father than Hikaru. It hadn't mattered, Hikaru had considered it a challenge. He had decided right there and then, that no one would ever question his credentials again.
He'd approached perfect fatherhood just as he did every goal, with intensity and focus that bordered on compulsion. For months he'd read parenting guides and psychological texts, done research on infant care and discipline styles. He'd reached some conclusions, but he'd only written them down after Ben had gotten Nyota to make that ridiculous vid where the whole crew had conspired to make him consider fatherhood. Watching it had made him feel there was too much to remember.
He leaned back, and tried to recall the precise inspiration for each point. The first one was easy. They'd stopped at a starbase for the very first liberty on the new ship. He'd called Ben, heard about the baby, and then discussed it over drinks with Nyota. He frowned. It hadn't been just the conversation, he thought, it had been everything he'd seen that day. He settled into his seat, closed his eyes, and remembered.