This story goes out to Richard Dean Anderson - happy birthday to a gifted actor, inspiring philanthropist, environmentalist, dog enthusiast and all-around good guy!

Stay sharp, readers - there's puns ahead (plus one General Hospital reference and several MacGyver references!) Freya x

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, but I promise to put them back where I found them. All rights belong to the owners. I've edited my own work, so all mistakes are mine.

It'd been four hours since her disappearance - four long, nausea-inducing, head-throbbing, stomach-clenching hours. He'd returned home from running an errand and made the discovery. He'd searched every square inch of the property. All he'd found were a few skid marks in the driveway from where she'd hightailed out. He'd widened his exploration to the neighbouring streets and dug up one more vital clue - her tags. They'd been discarded in the dirt by the main road like refuse. He hoped they hadn't been dislodged from her neck during a struggle. The thought made him shudder. If anything were to happen to her, he'd never forgive himself. It'd taken them so long to find each other. After years of personal setbacks and heartache, he was finally in a good place. She helped complete him. He'd never be able to fill that void again.

They'd met through a mutual friend and bonded instantly. Despite the age gap, they'd found a lot in common. They both enjoyed classic cars, The Simpson's and eating peanut butter straight from the jar. Their relationship had developed quickly, and before too long he'd introduced her to his friends and family. A few weeks after that, he'd whisked her away to Minnesota for a sneaky holiday. Evidently, she'd shared his love of the cabin - especially the lake.

She dearly loved the outdoors...always had, from what he understood. Her bright eyes would sparkle with enthusiasm whenever they ventured into the great unknown. His only solace in her disappearance was her potential level of enjoyment. If nothing untoward had befallen her, she would likely have a great time. The fresh air and sunshine would probably lift her spirits. She hadn't tried to chew his ear off lately - and that was a red flag for him!

Unfortunately for him, her unscheduled departure hadn't been an isolated event. Since the commencement of their association, he'd become well acquainted with her wild side. When she got bored, she got restless...and when she got restless, she got destructive. He assumed her Houdini-inspired antics were an attempt to free herself from the shackles of domestic living. She'd found it especially tough of late - she really needed a lab to play with. He'd tried to remedy this with affection and gifts, but his workload had recently changed - and admittedly, he'd dropped the ball. He vowed to make more of an effort...if she ever came home.

It'd been the longest time they'd spent apart. He suspected she derived some pleasure in making him anxious. In her mind, she was giving him a chance to remember how lucky he was to have her. When he finally did "rescue" her, her eyes would be filled with love and regret. Lurking deep in their depths, would be the unspoken promise that she'd never leave him again. Then, she'd turn around and commit the same atrocity - again and again. She knew how to manipulate him, but he was too in love in get angry.

It was hard to predict how many miles she would have covered during her absence. When she was properly motivated, she could really move! One morning, she'd dragged him jogging. He couldn't believe how far and fast she'd travelled - he'd barely caught up! During the ordeal, he'd felt the eyes of the public on him. He'd figured they were passing judgement - shocked that someone so young and fit could be with a man of his age. A lesser man would have felt insecure, but not him. He was very pleased with his choice of companions. Not only was she youthful and sporty, but she was crazy smart! She'd attended one of the finest educational institutions in the country, and won numerous awards in her chosen field of discipline. She also had a face to stop traffic - there was no denying how beautiful she was!

With any luck, she hadn't involved herself with any unsavoury creatures. She wasn't shy around strangers and had a tendency to be too trusting...sometimes to her detriment. A few weeks prior, she'd been the guest of honour at a soiree he'd hosted. He'd seen her get a little...over-familiar with one of the male guests - she'd practically agreed to go home with him! He'd felt a flicker of jealousy, but it'd been short lived. He knew where her loyalties lied. It had just been a misunderstanding. After all he'd been through, he was still a bit overprotective.

What he wouldn't give to hold her in his arms! He wouldn't rest until she was safe - at home, comfortably nestled into his side. He was so desperate for her to return, he was willing to do anything - including letting her eat from his plate at the dinner table. He'd caught her doing it a few times when he'd turned his head. He'd briefly wondered what kind of manners she'd been taught - then remembered he'd known her father, and he was a good man.

He was torn between continuing the search alone and calling the authorities - but he was drowning in guilt, and preferred to deal with the matter internally. He really didn't want to involve the state in his personal affairs. Ordinarily, he would've turned to his friends for help. Teal'c, in particular, had proved himself to be a fine human and animal tracker. His keen sense of smell and ability to identify various imprints could have been useful. He also had a special relationship with the escapee, which may have been invaluable. Unfortunately for him, Teal'c was unavailable off-world and recalling him for a trivial matter would have been a blatant abuse of authority - as much as he'd like to exercise that power.

The sun was starting to set and the temperature was dropping. His gaze fell to her empty bed and he ran his hand across the sheepskin lining. She was facing the prospect of spending the night alone - without food, water or bedding. He needed to conduct another hard target search of the neighbourhood! He needed to find his baby. He pocketed his cell phone and reached for the keys to his '57 Nomad. The classic car had been a recent acquisition - a present he'd gifted himself after relocating to Washington. She'd loved riding in the passenger's seat, often with her head out the window. He hoped the familiar rubble of the engine would bring her out of hiding. As he shrugged on his leather jacket, his cell phone vibrated to life. He could feel his heartbeat intensifying.

"O'Neill."

"Hey, it's me," said the familiar female voice, "I just wanted to let you know we're state side again. The mission went well."

"Great," he replied gruffly, "Glad to hear it."

"Jack, is something wrong?"

"Actually, yeah," his free hand ran across the back of his neck, "She's gone. She's left me."

There was a brief pause as the information sunk in. "Oh God. Are you sure?"

She sounded as concerned as he felt.

"Yeah. When I came home with the groceries I found the hole she'd dug to escape the yard. Her collar was lying in the dirt a few streets away. I lost track of her after that. It's impossible to know how far she's travelled. She's so fast! Remember that time she dragged me through the park?"

"Jack...I'm so sorry."

"Me too. I think she's been feeling a bit neglected lately. She's been...acting out a little. I've had to put in some extra hours at work. A few days ago, I got called away while we were playing catch. I figuratively and literally dropped the ball. Do you remember her friend, MacGyver the Labrador? His owner Pete and I usually schedule a play date for them once-a-week. I've had to cancel on them twice."

"Jack, I realise you're feeling guilty, but none of this is your fault. Marge is still a puppy. I'm sure her behaviour will improve as she gets older. She's just testing the boundaries."

"She's just lost her spark, you know? She won't play with any of her new toys and she hasn't tried to nibble my ear recently - and she loves that!"

"Jack, I know you're hurting right now, but just so you know - that ear thing is as weird as the two of you sharing a jar of peanut butter while watching The Simpsons."

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!"

She expelled a soft chuckle.

"Sam, I know Marge was meant to keep me company in Washington...but maybe I'm not cut out for this," he started. "You know, being responsible for another living thing."

"Jack, you know that's not true. I trust you with my life… and so do Daniel and Teal'c. Plus, Marge adores you. You've been inseparable since that day you met at the park - well, except for that brief obsession she had with Teal'c at your housewarming barbecue." She grunted thoughtfully, "Hmm...maybe we're looking at this the wrong way."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Border Collie's are exceptionally smart, right? Maybe she needs some...intellectual stimulation. Isn't her Dad an agility champion?"

"Huh. You're right. Murdoc's won the Masters Agility Championship three years running. Even Marge showed some promise at the amateur level. She won a few participation trophies through her puppy school!"

"How about I call your friend Jeff, Murdoc's owner and see what he recommends?"

"Sure, Sam. That would be great."

"And Jack?"

"Umm?"

"She'll come home. Don't you worry."

"Thanks, Sam."

His gratitude was punctuated by three sharp knocks on his front door.

"I gotta go. There's someone at the door."

"Keep me updated, okay?"

"Right. I'll talk to you later."

He pocketed his phone and took a few steps towards the door. He pulled it open to reveal his next door neighbour.

"Penny, what can I help you with?"

"Hi Jack. Actually, I think I found something that belongs to you," she said.

She brought two fingers to her mouth and exhaled. A piercing whistle left her lips. It was followed by the sound of rhythmic panting and the clicking of toenails against pavement.

"Marge?"

Jack fell to his knees and the Collie bounded excitedly into his arms. She nuzzled and licked at Jack's face as he ran his fingers through her soft black and white coat.

"Marge!"

"She stopped traffic trying to cross the main road. I saw her when I was driving home and managed to coax her into my car."

Jack cupped Marge's face in his hands. "Don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you understand me?"

Marge's head fell to one side and she whimpered.

"Thanks, Penny. I was about to call the animal shelter. I was worried sick! There's going to be a few changes around here, so hopefully this won't happen again."

Two Weeks Later…

"Right! I think we're all set for the trial run!" Sam said, as she tightened the final bolt.

His mouth fell open in disbelief as his eyes travelled across the backyard.

"Sam...you've really outdone yourself," he threw an arm around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. "Marge is going to love this."

"It was Jeff's suggestion. I'm just the contractor!"

Her mouth broke into a blinding smile and he dropped a kiss to her crown.

"Right! Let's see how it goes."

He opened the patio door and Marge came bounding through. She paused briefly as her unblinking eyes scanned the altered landscape. The once baron yard had been transformed into an interactive playground. It was every active dog's dream. There were mazes, tunnels, see-saws, bridges and scenic lookouts. Marge looked to Jack for approval.

He gestured to the yard with a flick of his wrist. "Go on! Have some fun!"

She barked once, presumably in thanks, before disappearing into her new world.

"I've added a few...special features," Sam said. "Firstly, I've set-up a couple of Nanny cams so you can monitor Marge from work."

She handed him his phone. "You can access the feed through this program I created."

The screen split into six squares, each displaying a different view of the course.

"Wow. This is terrific."

The corner of her mouth twerked. "There's more…" She lent over him and pressed a series of buttons on his phone. "If you enter in this sequence, you can play catch with Marge remotely."

She pointed to a tube in the wall and a tennis ball shot across the yard.

"She might need some training first, but the balls can be returned here," her pointed finger moved to a hole in the ground, "and the same ball will just cycle through. After a few rounds, the dispenser will change position and throw the ball to a different corner of the yard."

"You continue to surprise me, Samantha Carter. You're a diamond in the ruff!" His thin lips stretched into a broad grin that split his cheeks in two.

Her eyes rolled in amusement. "Hopefully this ends her reign of terrier."

He shook his head and laughed. "You know we both love you, right?"

A blush crept across her cheeks and her gaze flickered to the ground. She nodded. "Fur real, I dig you both too."