(Disclaimer: We own Death Note in our dreams)
Once upon a time there was a prince. He was young-ish maybe twenty. He was in love with the girl who sold flowers at the door on Sunday mornings. On the day he discovered this, his soul was light and exploding with joy. When his Mother asked the cause of his radiation he told her he was in love with the flower girl. She frowned and told him that he was already married to the rich princess in the kingdom next to them.
The prince, named Matt, couldn't stay married to the horrible bitch of a princess Near. He wanted to marry the humble flower girl Melly. "Mother, is there no way I can get out of it?" he asked desperately.
His father, King Roger, shook his head in exasperation. "Of course not, we believe in God not divorce." Prince Matt sadly slumped and excused himself. The next day Prince Matt bought a huge bundle of the most expensive flowers and took them to his room to prepare them for his love. However, his Mother found them and sent them to Princess Near.
Princess Near was delighted by the flowers and want to go on a date with poor Prince Matt. He declined saying that he was sick. He slipped out of his chambers, however, and arranged a meeting with Melly.
However Melly stood him up. Prince Matt was heartbroken. The next day his Mother and father forced him to visit Princess Near. When he arrived he was submitted to what was nearly a strip-search. When the guards determined him not-a-threat, Princess Near entered. "Sorry about that, but some poor person tried to kill me yesterday"
Prince Matt tried to hide his disappointment in the fact that the would-be assassin failed. He put on his best forced-happy and did whatever trivial thing the homely 'girl' wanted. These included darts, dice, and cards. Finally he was allowed to return home to his electronics. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out the invention, cigarettes. "You shouldn't be smoking you dumb-ass." It was a voice from Heaven, his Melly.
"Oh my God! You're cheating on me Matty!" A voice from hell cried out. It was Princess Near. "You followed me?" Cried Prince Matt, incredulous. "Watch your language I'm a Catholic!" Cried Melly. The princess noticed Melly for the first time. Melly pulled out her dagger, and as she was about to strike down her competition an act of god, in the form of a tree falling out of no where, Princess Near was no more. And Prince Matt and the newly dubbed Princess Melly lived happily ever after.
A/N: This was a Collab with my good friend Itachi-equals-chichi for our friend. Mello(Itachi-equals-chichi) started it and then we alternated it by chapters.