Rio's Journal
December 16
Well, it's almost Christmas. The season of giving, love, joy, and all that jazz. Not a time to feel bummed out, moody, or guilty. So, I better put on a happy face.
I picked up Jerrica's ring today. I think she'll like it. Kimber and the Holograms helped me pay up front. I can't believe I actually have a two carat diamond ring right here next to me. I'm a little afraid to give it to her when we're alone. She might think I'm after something besides her heart. Maybe I'll wrap it up in a big box for her to open on Christmas Morning. Kimber or Jem could give me some ideas for little "stocking stuffer" gifts to put in with the newspaper and packing peanuts to distract her until she finds the ring hidden at the bottom.
Oh…Jem. I think I better just stay away from her. She confuses me too much. I've already decided what to do… I don't want lust to get in my eyes. I know we aren't technically a "couple." I'm Jerrica's—I'm in love with her. But I can't let my little affair (or whatever) with Jem continue any longer. I don't want to betray Jerrica like this. I hate deception, and I despise liars. Is it true that we are what we hate?
But…what if Jerrica is Jem? It would make a lot of sense. Jerrica sings like an angel. When she was still in high school and I'd already graduated, we still sung together. Original songs, popular songs, and classics. Just for fun, but we really could have gone somewhere with it. But since Jem came around, it seems as if Jerrica doesn't care to sing anymore. I haven't heard her sing anything, except along with a car radio, since I met Jem. Is it my foolishness, my being caught up with Jem that I've noticed, or is Jerrica careful to make sure no one realizes how similar hers and Jem's voices are? That's one of the first things I noticed about Jem… she sings like my girlfriend.
The worst of it is, if Jerrica really is Jem, what is her motivation behind becoming another person and coming on to me like that? Is she using me to test my loyalty? To trap me? To deceive me, just for the hell of it?
No. Jerrica isn't like that. Besides, I've seen them together. Not often, but enough to make the distinction of separate women. However, almost anyone could dress up as Jem. Clash has done it. Maybe, if Jerrica is the real Jem, there is a gal that dresses up to make it look like they are two separate women. Who knows?
However, I don't think that Jerrica could be Jem. Why would she keep something like that from me for eight years? We're in love—you don't hide things like that from people you love.
Then again, I'm the one kissing somebody else when Jerrica's not around.