Authors note: The charactors in this book belong to Cassandra Clare. I have made changes though. You'll figure it out as you read =p If you have any suggestions please feel free to post it in a review. Fantasy, gay love and violence, also horrible language. So if you don't like any of those I recommend you stop reading right now! Otherwise, thanks for reading!

The Beginning.

Alec sighed as he looked down at his notes from Biology. The words had merged together long ago and his eyes had started to become tired. He packed away quietly, stacking everything neatly in its place. It was 12:45am and thankfully, was a Saturday morning. Alec checked his phone to see if anyone had messaged. There was a text from an unknown number.

"How strange..." Alec muttered out loud, tapping the screen to open it.

'Hey, why are you studying on a Saturday x?'

Alec looked at his phone confused. Who the hell would know he was studying on a Saturday morning?

'Who is this and how'd you know what I'm doing? And how on earth did you get my number?' Alec responded wondered over to his window and looked out of it. It was pitch black and he couldn't see any stalkers.

'I'm gay, Asian and wear the best clothes you've ever seen. Also I stole your number from Isabelle's phone she also filled me in on your weekend activities =p x'

Alec stared at his phone. That bitch! Giving his number out. He was going to have a very hard chat to her. Alec sat on his bed wondering who he knew who was like that. Suddenly a name popped into his head. Bane, the hottest most flamboyant guy in school. It was hard to not notice someone like Magnus Bane, even for a jock. The guys often yelled stuff at him and tried to corner him. Alec's phone vibrated again.

'Hello? Earth to cutie pie! It's rude to ignore people you know x'

Cutie.. What? Alec stared at this for a moment then clicked the reply button.

'Sorry.. Is this Magnus Bane? If so, why are you texting me?'

Alec sent it. It sounded rather harsh but he had to keep up his image. He signed as he dropped onto his bed. Image, he thought, why is there such a thing? Another text flashed onto his screen.

'Well I can not text you if you would prefer? I'm just rather bored and I also noticed you following me yesterday =p x'

Alec's breath hitched. He had noticed him. Oh god no... Alec quickly fumbled with his phone to reply.

'What makes you think I was following you? Why would I do that?' Alec thought for a moment then added regretfully, 'You're a freak.'

The reply to this took all of about 2 seconds.

'Oh..'

Short, horrible and painful to read. Alec could almost imagine the pain in those alien green and gold eyes. Alec really had stalked him a lot. He dropped his phone on charge and crawled into bed still clothed. Alec fell asleep rather miserably that night.

"Alec! Alec wake up you lazy thing!" A voice pierced his dreams. The shaking woke him fully.

"Ughhhhh! What do you want?!" Alec yelled lifting his head to see his sister's wild face starting down at him.

"You promised you'd take me to the mall today! It's already 11:30!" She shouted back at him and glared at him as if he had broken her favorite bracelet. He groaned and rolled onto his back, blinking in the brightness. 11:30 how odd, he usually never slept that long then again after last night, after what he'd said to that boy he secretly loved. Alec pushed it from his mind.

"Alec.. Are you okay?" Isabelle's tone was soft this time. She sat on his bed next to him and gently touched his cheek.

"What?" Alec sat up, "Yes, yes of course I am, just let me get changed and we'll go to the mall." He pulled a half smile. Isabelle moved her hand and stared at him as if he were a blubbering child.

"What? Is there something on my face?" Alec asked, bringing his hands up to wipe his face. As he brought his hand away he realized his hand was wet. "Ohh.."

"What's the matter? You know I'll pry Alec." Isabelle asked as she stood and put her hands on his shoulders as if to reassure him. Alec just smiled at her then turned away to find some clean clothes. She signed and walked out to give him some time.

It was about 1pm when they reached the mall. Thankfully it stayed open till 9 on weekends. Isabella had run off to saying something about new shoes. Alec looked at a few shops but was too lost in his thoughts to really pay any attention. He wandered over to a seat and sat down, not realizing someone was sitting next to him reading.

Magnus glanced up as the Blue eyed boy sat down next to him. He looked exhausted and was rather vacant. Shit, what now? Magnus thought as he closed his book quietly. He was about to greet Alec when he remembered the text last night. "Freak" Alec had called him. Magnus was of course, used to being called a freak but never expected it from someone who was meant to be so nice. Magnus often watched Alec at lunch from the nerd table. Watched him laugh, eat, how those blue eyes glinted as they glanced towards Magnus. He must have been imagining it. Thinking about the text made Magnus feel rather heartbroken. He watched as Alec smiled slightly, still lost in thought. He cleared his throat rather loudly.

Alec jumped, pulled from his fantasies of kissing Magnus. He sighed dreamily and leant back resting on the back of the seat, looking over at the other person and reading the cover of the book 'The Lovely Bones' Alec rather enjoyed that book himself. Not that he would ever admit it. He glanced back at the shops to see if Isabelle was anywhere near when a whisper reached his ears.

"I'm not a freak." It said, soft and sad. Alec spun around to look at the other person and was met with a pair of beautiful gold-green eyes. His breath hitched and his heart stopped. No, Alec thought, God no. They stared at each other for a moment then Magnus stood and turned to face him.

"I'm not a freak." He repeated, louder this time then turned and walked off. Alec stared at his back for a moment with his mouth opening and closing like a stupid fish. Slowly he slumped and whispered to himself,

"I know you aren't Magnus, you're beautiful."

School Days

Alec lay awake staring at the ceiling of his room, already not wanting to get out of bed. He could almost imagine how awkward it was going to be if Magnus snapped him staring at lunch. Magnus' last words played over and over in his head. 'I'm not a freak.' Silently Alec rolled out of bed and put his uniform on. It wasn't a bad uniform, black pants, black dress shirt. It could definitely be worse.

"Alec, hurry up or we'll be late again! Just because you have little care for your looks and chose to sleep in doesn't mean you can be late!" Isabelle's voice carried up the stairs as she yelled at him. Alec sighed and grabbed his bag as he left his bedroom. Jace was already halfway through his breakfast and grinned as he saw Alec.

"Breakfast, Sleepyhead?" Jace asked holding out a box of Frosted Flakes. Alec grimaced at the thought of eating and quickly shook his head. He felt nauseous as it was just thinking about the pain in those green-gold eyes. Isabelle grabbed her keys and handbag then headed towards the door,

"Move it, Jackasses!" She yelled as she departed. Alec followed as Jace dropped his bowl in the sink then followed. Alec slid into the passenger seat despite Jace's huffing.

"Get in or I'll happily leave without you." Isabelle growled through the open door and started up the Jeep. Alec signed and silently prayed today wasn't going to be an absolute disaster.

Alec's day passed rather quickly despite the constant sick feeling in his gut. He felt odd, like there was someone watching him. Alec looked up and around as subtly as possible. There didn't seem to be anything out of order. Then all of a sudden Alec thought he saw a flash of green-gold and black across the hall door. Startled, he slammed his hand down on his desk and stared open-mouthed at the door.

"Mr. Lightwood, is there a problem?" The teacher, Mrs. Morgenstern, asked with a glare.

"What?" Alec asked shocked, "Oh no! No nothing is wrong, I'm sorry." Alec slid down in his seat, blushing like a tomato. Everyone snickered. Great, again the class fool. The bell rung shrilly though the classroom and everyone rushed to get their equipment back into their bags.

"Alec, are you joining us for lunch today?" Isabelle asked as she caught up to Alec in the hallway, her heels clicking dangerously on the hard-wood floors. Alec looked over at her for a second then nodded slowly. Isabelle grabbed his arm and stopped walking, pulling him back to her.

"Alec, what's wrong? You've been so strange lately. I'm really starting to worry about you. We promised each other we could always talk to the other about anything and everything. Please." She stared at him with so much worry in her face it confused Alec. Isabelle, the hard bitch that no one fucked with, the girl who would sooner rip your throat out with her perfect nails then offer anyone a shoulder to cry on. But this was his sister, and Alec knew she would always worry about him. Alec sighed,

"I'm fine, really. Just a little stressed with all that is going around at the moment. I promise if anything becomes wrong I'll come and talk to you when I get the chance." Isabelle let his arm go and smiled at him with that heartbreaking smile.

"Let's go to lunch then!" She said then started to head towards the cafeteria. Alec trailed along after her, being wary of the people shoving past on either side of them.

Once they got to the cafeteria and took their tables Alec immediately felt wrong. Not just the fact his brother, Jace, was snogging some strange girl but it was that kind of wrong that you'd feel if someone was stabbing you in the stomach and you couldn't feel it, you could just see it. Alec looked around and caught Magnus' eyes then quickly looked away. He realized why he felt like he did. Quietly collecting his phone off the table he started to get up, wanting to just slide away. Isabelle shot him a look as if to say 'the hell are you going?' Alec mouthed 'bathroom' and Isabelle nodded then returned to the conversation being had at the table. Something about a guy on PCP eating someone's face last week. Alec wandered down the halls. Thankfully, his school was pretty lenient. You didn't need passes to be out of class or go to the bathroom. Although the teachers preferred it if students stayed in the cafeteria or outside during lunch times, they didn't have any strict rules about it. Alec ducked into a mostly unused bathroom and slipped into one of the stalls, locking it behind him. He sat on the lid and pulled his legs up to his chest.

Alec had noticed Magnus in freshman year. A tall, black haired boy who had absolutely beautiful eyes. An alien like green and gold, pupils shaped like a cats. Thin slits. Alec had wondered if they were contacts at first but on closer inspection realized that contact pupils didn't contract and expend in the light. He had noticed Magnus liked to wear leather and colours, glitter and makeup. This made Alec wonder how long it took him to get ready in the morning. Probably hours. Alec especially liked to follow Magnus when they had the same classes, checking him out from behind as subtly as he could. Studying him from the glitter tipped black spikes on his ebony black hair to the small 'M' carved into the heel of his combat boots. Alec had even noticed the small tattoo of a snake's head poking out from the bottom of his shirt when he bent over. Alec had blushed when he had seen this. He also wondered where the rest of the snake was. It was pretty much love at first sight for Alec. He loved to just watch him from across the field or the cafeteria, of course he would quickly glance away if Magnus was to turn around. He often sat day dreaming about Magnus, those eyes, his pink lips, his height, what his hair must be like when it wasn't spiked and glittery. To Alec, he was a god in human form.

Magnus had been watching Alec from his peripheral vision. Watching him play with his phone and nod absently at his brother and sister chatting to him. When Alec had stood up and started walking out, Magnus muttered an excuse to stop his best friend, Ragnor, from talking. Ragnor looked slightly annoyed at this rude interruption but Magnus knew he would get over it. Magnus got up and quickly made his way after Alec, trying to keep a safe distance. Alec had slipped into the bathrooms so Magnus waited a few minutes before slipping in after him and locking the bathroom door itself behind him. Magnus listened silently for a few moments before he realized what he was hearing. At first it had sounded like whispering but then he realized it was muffled crying. Alec Lightwood was crying. Magnus padded over to the stall door and lightly tapped on the door with his ring. A sharp gasp escaped the stall,

"Red means occupied Moron!" Alec snapped, his voice sharp and harsh. Magnus stared at the door. Even the hard jock mask that Alec wore even Magnus knew that he wasn't that mean.

"Alec?" Magnus asked tentatively, "Are you alright?" The lock suddenly flashed green and the door flew open. Alec stood there, red and puffy eyes, blood was dripping down his arm in a steady stream. He looked about to swing at whoever was standing on the other side of the door. Magnus took a step back.

"The fuck do you want, Freak?" Alec shot at him with more venom then a rattlesnake. Magnus winced at the attack. Usually being called a freak didn't bother him, but from someone he loved it was a whole new story.

"Well? I asked a question Freak." Alec shot again.

"Oh, Alec." Magnus sighed, looking down at Alec's cut up arm. Magnus took a fluent step forward and wrapped his long arms around Alec, hugging him. Alec froze under his embrace. Obviously unsure of what to do. Magnus let him go and put a hand to his face. Alec stared at him, all the hatred gone from his eyes.

Alec sat for a second and then burst into tears. He muffled his sobs in his jacket. Alec suddenly hated everything, everyone. A thought slid through his mind. No one would even know... Alec had thought this quite often. 'What would happen if he vanished? If he killed himself or was killed? Would his work obsessed mother notice? His boy obsessed sister? His self absorbed brother? No. No one would.' Alec slowly reached into his bag and dug around for the pocket knife Jace had given him for his birthday. Alec slipped his jacket off and hung it on the back of the door and sat back down. Then sunk the blade into his wrist. Alec had done this about four times before he dropped his knife and broke down again. A knock on the door caught him off guard. Alec collected enough voice,

"Red means occupied, Moron!" He spat at the annoyance on the other side of the door. Silence. Then after about a minute a soft velvet voice spoke from the other side.

"Alec, Are you alright?" It said. Alec didn't recognize it. He jumped up and flicked the lock on the door, forgetting all about his arm. It was Magnus. What was Magnus doing in here bothering him?

"The fuck do you want, Freak?" Alec snapped at him. He didn't even care when Magnus winced at his sharpness. Alec remembered his arm and tried to hide it behind his side.

"Well? I asked a question Freak." Alec snapped again, glaring at Magnus with all the hatred he felt for the world.

"Oh, Alec."Magnus whispered and all of a sudden he was wrapping his arms around Alec. He froze. A battle raged inside Alec. One half wanted to push Magnus away and run away, the other wanted to burst into tears and release everything onto Magnus. Magnus pulled away and rested his hand on Alec's cheek. Alec felt suddenly better. The hatred had gone but the want to die had not. Then everything went black.