Disclaimer: Don't even bother.
Note:
Yes, you can tell that the soft drinks are getting to me.
No Kagutsuchi was hurt in the making of this – rather, he is chewing off my head now.
The Trail of Jellybeans
Chapter One
--
"Well, this is degrading."
"You don't say."
The little wolf-pup flinched at his oversized paws, stomping with one of them to experiment with his newfound body. His utterly awesome mechanical accessories had been confiscated sometime along the transformation, leaving him even more distressed. The presence of sudden fur did not appeal to him much, for it got dirtier easily and he was not one who enjoyed cleaning.
A snake was coiled up beside him, slender and strangely purple. She did not seem as bothered as her canine friend with her appearance, although she too was a bit sour when she realised that her new form had its many disadvantages. However, she admitted that her scales were somewhat similar to her previous structure's plating, and had a less stressful time getting used to it.
"I believe that we are better off than Kagutsuchi though."
The wolf-pup gave her a questioning look, confusion written in his eyes.
"From what I've heard, he got turned into a lizard of some sort."
Duran's wide smirk spread across his muzzle, showing off a fair deal of sharp teeth. His companion let out a slow and quiet hiss, which he assumed was the snake equivalent of soft chuckling. Feeling a great deal better, he proceeded to ask more questions which would hopefully push his ego further up.
"What about Diana? I never knew what she was in the first place."
"Apparently, she became a plant." Kiyohime replied cheerfully.
The wolf-pup frowned in deep concentration as he focused, unsuccessfully, on subduing his laughter. So, that explained why Yukino had requested for them to stop by a florist on the way. The entire HiME crew had gone on a vacation up in the mountains, bringing along a few selected friends and family.
"Midori was complaining a lot when Haruka tossed the bag of soil into the jeep."
"Hey, I wasn't sleeping! You don't need to tell me everything as if I've missed out on them."
"Natsuki didn't look very pleased when you were drooling all over her lap in your nap."
"Spare me the details." He groaned, not the least bit amused by the snake's teasing.
Kiyohime sighed in reluctance, and regretfully dropped the topic. Duran was very grateful that she was not up to notch with Shizuru's skills yet, or else he might have had to dye his fur permanently red to hide any traces of blushing. He had personally witnessed what the ex-Kaichou could do to Natsuki's face, and he did not relish the fact the person he was bound to could look like ketchup.
A week ago, the Childs had unexpectedly found themselves integrating from oblivion. It had caused a great deal of mayhem and perhaps a lot more if only they had been in their normal forms, but much to their misfortune, they were not. To most of them, it was greatly humiliating to be warped into assorted ordinary things so that they could blend in.
Fuka Academy had been invaded by a small amount of various animals and queer things, which caused a lot of commotion for the students and a lot of work for a happy Chie. Akane had a striped tabby following her wherever she went, a huge spider could always be found somewhere on Nao, Mai had a gigantic lizard trailing after her and Yukino carried a potted plant to school.
They were all surprised that St. Vlas had become a stallion instead of a chess piece, but Yukariko was a bit worried about having a large horse around her all the time. Gakutenou, thankfully, did not appear to take after his lion side too much and was now an armadillo. Shiho was stalked by what was believed to be a crow but resembled a vulture more closely.
Natsuki's reputation took some damage as Duran, seeming to be just a puppy, accompanied her constantly. Shizuru's fan club was somewhat frightened off by the huge purple python that she wore around her shoulders and neck, namely Kiyohime. None of the HiME cast – especially Natsuki – minded at all, finding that Shizuru was now much more easily accessible. This included Shizuru as well.
Mikoto was fascinated with her new pet rock. Miroku was not as fascinated with itself.
"Why don't we take a walk in the forest over there?" Duran suggested hopefully, feeling the need to get rid of his boredom.
"Seeing that both Shizuru and Natsuki are in the cabin doing this and that with each other, we might as well go." Kiyohime stated, analyzing the situation logically.
Kagutsuchi staggered out of the cabin, swinging the door open with a fairly loud slam and teetering down the porch. He held a can of Some Sort of Beer in his forelimb, the liquid swishing inside dangerously as he wobbled over to the two conversing Childs. The stench of alcohol hit the pair as he grinned, displaying a row of humiliatingly stubby teeth.
"Dunch go too der foresh! A witsh lives dar!" He warned, brandishing the Some Sort of Beer.
"He turned to drinking shortly after the change." Kiyohime explained, ignoring the lizard.
"But it took the friggin' sword out of his nose." Duran looked contemplative.
They continued watching Kagutsuchi stumble around, knocking over the woodpile and collapse into a snoring pile under it as he drifted off to sleep. Faces twitching with amusement from the drunkard's antics, they turned back to face the forest, taking on a more serious expression once again. They nodded at each other and then headed off in that direction, one scampering along and the other slithering.
"This forest is as large as that lizard's ass before this happened." Duran complained, kicking away a pinecone in his way.
"No, I'm pretty sure that the forest is smaller." Kiyohime answered pleasantly, tempting a snicker from the wolf-pup.
"We may get lost though." Duran frowned, lost in a rare moment of Using-His-Brain.
Kiyohime paused, her calculative mind pondering over the chances of them being unable to find their way back from the mass of greenery. Deeming it to be quite possible, she then moved on to thinking about a method to solve this potential problem. Her features then contorted as she brought up a packet of colourful beans, soggy and fizzling from the corrosive spit.
"We'll mark our path with jellybeans. Case closed." She spoke up, recovering quickly.
"Urrghh, you can store things in your stomach for later use?" Duran was mildly disgusted.
"I still have the remains of the First District in there." A disturbingly bright smile lit up Kiyohime's face.
Duran wisely chose not to dwell on that particular topic anymore.
--
Five-hundred and seventy-four of the sweet and colourful beans later, they were both surprised that the stock of jellybeans was not diminished yet. But in a world where they weren't even supposed to exist, yet alone run about in the woods tossing jellybeans around, they chose not to complain and accepted it as another one of those bizarre happenings.
"Why did we even bother coming here in the first place?" Duran grumbled, finding the stroll increasingly boring and ignoring the fact that he was the one who suggested on going for it.
"You can play Rock-Paper-Scissors with Miroku later if you want. Even Mikoto beats him all the time – all she has to do is keep using paper." Kiyohime recommended smoothly.
There was a stark moment of silence that affected even the birds in the trees, reducing their charming, continuous twitters to desolate, forlorn chirps. Duran plodded on moodily while Kiyohime was whissling, which was a combination of whistling and hissing. Unnerved by the noise the snake was emitting, the few birds left squawked ungracefully and took off.
The pair came to an abrupt halt, marveling at the sight before them. Eventually, Duran started drooling and wiped the slobber off his muzzle furiously.
The tall house stood in the middle of the clearing, the dog-biscuit bricks complementing the sugar-icing roof perfectly. Cinnamon-powder smoke puffed out of the cake chimney in light clouds, wafting towards the adventuring Childs. Frosting laced the window panes, settling neatly on the licorice ledge. Candy-canes made up a fence that stretched around the circumference of the entire house including the garden, enclosing the lollipops that seemed to grow in the lawn.
Duran bounded across the clearing joyfully, Kiyohime latched onto his tail as the wolf-pup soared at an amazing speed. Coming to a stop just outside the buttered toast door, his little body wriggled with barely contained euphoria that oozed out of him in nearly tangible waves. Kiyohime was rattled about until she let go, feeling slightly dizzy but glad for the ride.
"Who was trampling across my garden?" A shrill voice raged as its owner opened the door.
Duran yipped merrily as his tail did a belly dance, beyond caring for his dignity or pride. Kiyohime flashed an angelic look that was meant to be impossibly innocent for a snake, but was somehow pulled off by her.
"What do we have here?" A nasty grin spread across the witch's face.
The wolf-pup whined, begging for food almost desperately. He could do away with some honour if it meant that he would get free desserts, especially those that Natsuki forbid him to eat. Apparently, confectionary was not supposed to be consumed by dogs – something that Duran absolutely disagreed with.
Often enlisting the aid of Kiyohime, he would make numerous schemes to thwart Natsuki's plans of separating the tasty tidbits from him. The most common way was to get Shizuru in the same room as the biker to distract her, and that Kiyohime excelled in.
While Natsuki remained blissfully oblivious, Shizuru knew of what the pair was up to but did not interfere. Furthermore, she did not need much encouragement to seek out Natsuki – a mere stare from Kiyohime was enough to tell her that they needed her assistance, which she willingly gave.
Unfortunately, Natsuki soon caught on as she realised that the last cookie in her private stash would always mysteriously disappear once Shizuru and the two Childs stepped into the room.
"Two little woodland creatures! How fortunate!" The witch exclaimed, clapping happily.
Kiyohime and Duran almost reeled, both not pleased with being mistaken for little woodland creatures.
"Come in, come in! The cupcakes are just out of the oven!" She continued rambling, making her way towards the fireplace.
Duran skipped in without a second thought, drowning in the brilliant scents drifting around in the house. Kiyohime followed soon after the wolf-pup, tempted by the rat in the corner that was eating something brown and sticky. She did not come across Chocolate-filled Rodents frequently and did not want to let this encounter go to waste.
"By the way, my name is Tomoe."
--
No surprise. I love ridiculing Tomoe, despite the fact that I remain a half-hearted fan of hers.
Next Installation: Yatagarasu does something horrible.