DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or anything else used in here.

YO...... Okay, I know that the total population of Naruto AU Highschool fictions are through the roof. So this one's just another for the pile.

I got the idea reading another Highschool AU that had them in the country (Crocodile Farm. Go read it or I'll bite you. But if you're emotional and a Deidara fan. Grab a box of tissues.) So this one is: of course- THEM IN TEH' COUNTRY!......... WOOOOO!...... I have no creativity. (RANDOM )

I'm alittle upset to have it in Konan's POV. Cuz' that's how CrocFarm was. But I know I can write angsty-teenage-girl.... Well, Konan at least. Characters like Ino and even Tenten sometimes make me vomit. I like the shy/tomboy/angsty girls. AKA: Hinata, Temari, Anko and KONAN!

Now here are warnings: This is likely to go on hiatus like all my other stories. I swear. I have like' ten unfinished stories I haven't posted yet. (Which is why I'm open to one-shot requests! anybody? PLZ GIMME SOMETHING! THE LAST REQUEST I DID WAS A DEITEM NURSE-FIC! THE ENDING WAS RUSHED AND CORNY! PLLLLLLZ! ASK ME ANYTHING! ( I will however kindly ask you to refrain from flat-out porn. I don't think I can handle that- well. I would. But then I'd be considered ultimate-perv.... Dammit I'm having dreams of SasoDei and Sakura by herself.....(I need medication....))).... So you can just yell at me if I don't post for a while.

....Oh, right, the warnings, *cough* Ummm, Okay. This is likely to contain lots of Shonen-Ai. I mean Konan's the only chick. And however I'm not going to make it the stupid-all-partners-love-eachotha' I'll just probably have Sasori and Tobi fighting over Deidara and Hidan and Kuzu' being the BEST OF FWENDZ! And cuz' I'm not gonna make Konan a whore like she is in all the other stories that center around her (Seriously, select Konan as the main character in the search, They're all about her being the Akatsuki dudes' personal sex doll.... But I couragously reward the maker of 'Dirty Little Secrets' the reward for first Akatsuki foursome ( KonItaPaiHid. It was creepy (I'm going off track again arn't I?)))

Okay, I need to get back on track. I'm commercializing other fics and explaining my own mental disabilitys (I think I'm Schizo'd like Zetsu. Or at least Bi-Polar like Jugo. Or maybe it's just ADHD like Naruto.) RIGHTRIGHTRIGHTRIGHT WARNINGS!...... Konan's mentally unstable- So are most of the other ppl. I'm likely to severely torture some characters. And severely ignore other characters- By accident, I'll be making up a scene and when I'm almost done I realize I've forgotten to include Itachi and Kisame. I'm not even sure what I'll be doing to Zetsu yet guys. And all plans for Konan are blurred by her being a pyscho sex-aholic. (ROFL XXXHolic XD)..... It's ADHD, I'm telling you.

Or maybe I'm a shark like Kisame (too lazy to be lazy so I must keep moving. Like a shark, rawr, FEAR MEH!) ..... That was a quote from a totally awsome (and deleted) fan fic. Whose author has apparently dropped off the face of the earth. Damn, I'll miss her 'Sasori and the Big Bad Wolf'..... I'm gunna cry.

Wait- right, I must WRITE...... I'm tired. Wait, no I'm not. What am I? I'm going off track again. Must write. write. wright. whirst. wrist. wist. whrists. zombomdom.......pie.... Sorry. Authors notes are my outlet. I'm anti-social and refuse to talk to those disgusting alien whores people call 'girls my age'.....

Okay I got an idea. I couldn't think of what to write but I've got a plan goin' on. But what type of country town? When my mom and her boyfriend got into a HUUUUGE fight me and her moved to my uncle's place in Montana.

Pony Montana looked lovely.... But the people in it made it like a living hell. So now I think I can relate to living in small towns. Everyone thought I was autistic cuz' I wouldn't talk much and I think there was one lady that was a pedophile O_o Cuz' she liked rubbing my hands and smiling and now that I think about it she reminded me of Orochimaru with braids in his hair .

PS the parents will mostly be OC's unlike with my previous Conffesions of a Teenage Monster where all the extra's were main characters from the series-slash-Characters from other Shonen Jump and Shojo Beat series'..... I can stop talking now- I'm getting waaaaaaaaaay distracted.... blurry. I think I need glasses. I think Konan's mom might be an out-of-character and older-looking Tsunade. Wait-no, Yugito, yes, Yugito. And Jiraiya can be the godfather(again). Mwhahaha. I am amazing.

(Looks at how much of the story I've written)... Damn I know I didn't spell those right.... (What? all my stories start out with a unhumanly long authors note)

--------------------------------------------------------Hell

Harsh winds blowing agenst the car wildly like it was about to turn us over. Mom clentches the steering wheel for dear life. Her expression taking any resemblance we have and distorting it, her frown lines making her look twenty years older.

I shouldn't blame her, or maybe I can. A nasty divorce on the fault of my usually non-exsistant-anyway father. But mom's the one that went crazy on it immidiantly asking for the divorce and insisting we move.

Well, then again she'd been wanting to move out of the city for a while. But that didn't make it any happier a decision on my part.

But mom decided we'd drive 12-to-12 every night. Mainly because of my sleeping schedual. She was worried about it. But she'd hadn't known that it wasn't the anxiety and just withdrawal symptoms.

Keep the doses low and she never notices I'm even high. But I strangely doubt many dealers out in the country. Ah well, I wanted to quit before addiction set in anyway. She can't stop me from smoking though. Screw my damn lungs. they're only good for holding my chest up.

I don't look underage either. I went to a bar once and they didn't even ask my age. But that might've been my low-cut shirts doing, I don't feel like caring.

Not that it ever led to 'legal' troubles. My mom's a Doctor and she gives me personal papsmears monthly. God, a virgin at 16, it's embarressing. Half the girls in my class lost theirs when they were 14. But I guess that's not something to brag about. I've gone to enough classes preaching about teen pregnancy and STD's to just screw it and wait till' marriage so no one puts me in their documentry. I still get away with oral though, not that it does anything for me.

She actually decided to speak now. "Konan, it'll be nice here, I promise. We both can make new friends and have a better start." Friends? I've never had any. I hung out with people at their houses and called them my friends so she wouldn't whine. But someone who likes you is always good for connections. "We'll pull into the next hotel soon. I can show you some more pictures." Not the pictures again, god I need a cigerette.

We finally pulled into a Holiday Inn that's sign promised wi-fi connections. I demanded a bath the second we got through the door. But the wi-fi was in all reality so bad that I couldn't tell what they were doing in the porn vids.

My cigerette pack had been left carelessly in my backpack outside the door. Damn, but I couldn't do it in the bathroom anyway. I think tile strengthens the smell of things. At least that's what it always seems like.

I rolled around in the bathtub untill I was sure mom'd be too tired to show me pictures. The place wasn't all that special anyway. A long road that leads to a ghost-town-like thing you see in the movies. The layout actually reminded me of a zombie movie. But I couldn't put my tounge on the name. When you think country you usually think green pastures and godly mountains right? Well the grass was faded jade and there were brown patches everywhere. The mountains had enough animals in them that mom'd probably demand I start carrieing a pistol with me. She's paranoid like that.

My Mother, Yugito Nekohi. That means 'Cat Fire' if you insist to know. Is a sometimes frisky but in all reality angsty doctor. After my fathers affair she got in contact of an old friend. I guess he's her godfather-family friend type of thing. Mom seemed anti-social and un-trusting. This guy was probably my own godfather too.

Worst of all, he had 'kids'. My mom wasn't the only one who'd entrusted their child to this guy. They were supposed to be two boys. One my age and the other is in middle school. Just what I need. Nerdy boys around me to make my life worse. Wha.

I got out and Mom had passed out on one of the beds. A whine glass on the end table and a corny Lifetime movie on. She hates whine and Lifetime. She's just punishing herself for spending twenty years next week with a cheating bastard.

-----------Next day

We were due to arrive in the town by early afternoon. I was predicting five but when we had finally gotten off the 'red roads' and started seeing yellow fields and the radio started playing actual stations and I got to stop listening to my ancient P!nk CD(I couldn't reach much else) it seemed we'd be there much sooner.

In fact we rounded a bend and there was the zombie town. I was totally waiting for dead people to start pounding bloody knuckles on the windows.

Mom finally seemed to smile and she drove forward slowly through the streets that didn't seem wide enough to be car-worthy. Less then a mile up the road and we were driving onto a dirt path that forked with one way leading down and the other leading up.

We went up the right path leading up and it turned out to be just a really long driveway. The house at the end looked like a more colorful version of 'The Little House on the Prarie'.

Before she even had the car completely parked Mom jumped out of the car and the screen door of the house slammed open. A large man with thunderous footsteps and looked smaller in faded photographs ran over and picked my Mom up like she wasn't a full-grown woman.

Not that she acted like one ever. She acted like a child being swung around by him with her feet kicked up. I groaned loudly before deciding to get out the door myself.

I looked up and almost spotted the two boys watching from a window and the door but then I was attacked by the thick tanned arms of a guy that came off younger then his white hair called for. He lifted me up and I bit my lip to surpress a scream and he and my Mother laughed like maniacs. "And you must be Konan!" He roared like he had laughed. He put me down and held out his hand. I gave him mine hoping he'd leave me alone then. "Your mother told me all about you! But you were never able to get on the phone." He said looking at me slyly like he knew that I'd used every excuse in the book not to talk to him.

"She's alittle shy sometimes." No, I'm not shy, I just hate people. "Be yourself and she'll warm up to you eventually."

"Well I think I can pull that off," He said and then laughed again for no particular reason. "Come on inside! I can introduce you to all the roomies!" He turned around and I instinctively covored my ears knowing what he was about to do. "NARUTO! YAHIKO COME ON OUT!!"

The figure that had been in the window through it open. Out popped a little blond with as much noise and chaos as the last man had made.

He ran up to us and stopped looking like he might burst with words. He was about half mom's size alone. He had rustled-with hair that gave out a spike effect and bright blue eyes. With them next to eachother I heard Doctor Evil and Mini-Me pop in my head.

Mom spoke up again. "This is my old godfather Jiraiya. Naruto is his grandchild and- then there's another one?" She turned the last half into a question.

"Yahiko's the other godkid' " He said. Hand on Naruto's shoulder who was still looking up at me trieing not to start talking non-stop like little kids do. "I said COME OUT!" He yelled suddenly. The screen door stuttered open

My eyes widened alittle. Naruto and Jiraiya were both the epitomy of country people with tan skin, talkative demeanors and just that plain annoying-hill-billy feel. Before this guy even made it into the sunlight there was a diffrent feel about him.

I'm not good with hiding emotions so I probably looked like a gaping fish right then. But Mom seemed about the same state. The next kid that walked up to us kept his head down and had pulled his sleeveless hoodie over his head when he knew he had to come out. But when he peeked up I could make out carrot-top hair under the hood and then I got struck with the cement-gray eyes. He also had piercings. Not just the ears. but he looked like he could pass as the punk in my old school. He had a tiny stud in his nose and on his lip. He looked like there were even some on his eyebrows and I knew there was probably more then just the three shiney parts on his ears that I could see.

Mom choked a laugh and smiled holding out a hand. "Nice to meet you Yahiko." He held out a hand that had three silver rings. This kid was made of metal.

I bit my lip to hide some blush that I'm sure was there. He was cute. Cuter then any of my boyfriends back at my old home. His skin was deathly pale but he tucked his hand back into his pockets which I think was a signal that I didn't have to shake his hand.

'I want him' popped into my head like he was a shiney new toy. I could've laughed then.

-------------Later

Naruto finally let his lip undone. He managed to tell me everything about the town. Even a few things about Jiraiya and Yahiko that had earned the metal-cuties glares while he helped with luggage.

I didn't bother to understand anything the kid was saying. But I was listening. It was something to distract me. And he never seemed to notice that I wasn't interested in the slightest. At least he had a lovable younger-brother feel about him. I could cope with living with that.

After everything was inside and Mom was drinking tea with Jiraiya. Naruto seemed set on talking to me untill he passed out but then a phone rang. The caller-ID that was apparetly attached to his brain made him rush to the phone while waving goodbye. He then burst out a simular conversation with the poor sap on the other line.

I half-expected Yahiko to retreat to his room but then I'd noticed he was still standing next to me in the middle of the room.

"Nice to meet you," He said in a surprisingly authority-like voice. I could've swooned right then. I need a cigerette. "Konan, right?"

"Yeah," I couldn't think of a conversation piece. Nothing that would match his unknown intrests and still match the country-knowladge at least.

"Want me to help you with your bags to your room?" He asked, proving the authority voice had a gentle side as well.

"I couldn't deny it." I said with all seriousness.

He picked up four suitcases that I pointed out to be mine and managed to carry up plus my backpack. This left me with just one trash bag which I was fine with. I'll pull up the boxes when he's gone so he doesn't give himself a hernia.

The living room was the main room. It had dark wood everything with a very homely lodge feel. With accents of magenta and dirty green with potted plants everywhere. It was connected to a bright white and lime kitchen that didn't look capable of holding all of us. The steps winded alittle bit to the upstairs hall that was a lighter wood color and had three doors on each side. It was like a perfect click of everything. five rooms for five people. And then a bathroom- one bathroom that I had to share with three men and my mother. The longest bath-taker in the world.

Yahiko stopped at the middle door on the right. He opened it without putting down the cases and walked inside. I followed after.

The room was a pale rose pinkish. It had child-like borders and a light wooden bed. Yahiko put the bags down and looked at me with a shy smile pointing to the corner.

He let me look at where he was pointing before he said anything. There were about ten buckets of paint in the corner. "Jiraiya wanted you to be able to paint the room. Be glad you got here early." I gave a nervous-annoyed chuckle. I walked over. Maybe if I painted it black no one would bother me. But I was a lazy gangster. I'll paint it another day.

He handed me my backpack before nodding and leaving. I went to sit on the bed with a modest mattress and started flipping off the ground.

That bastard stole my cigerettes.

I'll end first chap here cause I'm lazy and I have shitake ta' say.

Yeah, Konan is the trouble-making steriotype teenager. Why? cause dammit I had no other ideas.

I'll say that all the other Akatsuki shall be 'unique' compared to the socially retarded children of this town... Oh, and the town is called Ame. Cause' I'm lazy and Konoha is too big a name. Konoha can be the state they're in.

This is alot like my Confessions of a Teenage Monster only darker. And I made Konan cornily sympathetic in that. In this she's-... Like the teens you hear about. Yeah, like that.

This town is like a larger version of Pony, Montana. Cuz' well- Oh geez.

I just realized that the dirt driveway leading up the hill to the house was my uncles. I SWEAR that was an accident. I didn't mean it XD

Does anybody know what movie Konan was talking about? It's a zombie movie about a buncha' people that stumble on a ghost-town inhabited by zombies and then they have to defeat them by stopping the cowboy leader zombie. And the heroine does it by dressing up like his dead sister and stabbing him. That's all I remember about the movie but that's what I thought of while I was writting the discribsion.

(Slight spoilers but you can still read) The next chapter should be varily longer with introductions of the rest of Akatsuki. I'm gonna make Zetsu a teacher-or-something. Along with Madara too probably. And Orochi. I made Naruto the annoying little brother XD. I've decided on the layout and The first few chapters should be Konan getting to know the Akatsuki. Then drama shall start.

Yes, teh dramah' Becuz I am evil. EEEEEVILLLLLL................

Next Chaptah' now.