Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts all creative properties belong to their respective creators.

A/N: I have a plan for this one not sure how many chapters it'll actually work out to though, no defined pairing if romance even comes up.

Warnings: Dark content, description of bodily mutilation.

Roxas sighed for the 5th (22nd) time since Sora's return to his home; of course there had been...complications and for the first 3 days Sora's worries were more on the awkwardness between his parents and himself. It was truly amazing; they had forgotten him for half a year-like everyone else due to Namine's repairing of his manipulated memories-and it made them reluctant to confront their wayward son about where he'd gone for a little over a year. Sora, for his part, was also in no hurry to broach the subject; there were memories there, painful, dark...private.

Roxas approached the normal(solemn) figure of Sora from behind trying to be silent knowing it was useless; soon (one step) Sora would (two steps) utter those stupid words (third step's the charm); "I'm sorry." Roxas bit back another sigh; how many times had Sora said that again...25(87) times...26(88) now. Sora was still garbed in the black clothes of his latest journey his lightening brown hair as gravity-defying and spiky as always, he sat the same, his voice was cheery and his apology had been an unconscious reaction. To an outside observer Sora was the same as ever: cheery, outgoing and without a care in the world. Yet to Roxas it was clear as day that Sora was depressed, something even his "best friends" had yet to notice.

Roxas was mildly annoyed that they, no that no one, had noticed; were they really so naive, so dense as to not realize that Sora wasn't some static character in a story that never doubted, never feared, was always..."But no frowning, no sad faces." Roxas gritted his teeth in anger. "I'm sorry;" damn, Roxas took a deep breath before releasing it along with his frustration. Slowly he walked up beside Sora on the edge of the stained glass tower and sat down, their shoulders barely touching and Roxas took note of the mostly white spots that floated out in the darkness nondescript in appearance and too far and too small to identify as anything but dots in the distance: there were more than there had been yesterday.

Roxas was silent for a short while mulling over how to tackle this new puzzle this was the 5th day since Sora had returned home and for the first 3 days it had been mostly Sora 'acquiring' Roxas' memories through no effort on ether's part nor interference from Namine it was just...happening. Of course whenever Sora half-awakened he would end up in the Station of Awakening and would often just sit and talk with Roxas, mostly about whatever random snippet of memory he saw that night, which sometimes lead to some more personal conversations. It was mostly pleasant but Roxas did find Sora's incessant curiosity and nosiness to be a bit annoying...but he was the same and knew it so didn't begrudge Sora for his curiosity though there was a lot of sighing and teasing.

Lately though...no not so lately from around the 3rd day Sora was getting visibly antsy; he no longer wished to be on Destiny Islands("Sora don't...") he wanted to be off: sealing more worlds, fighting more heartless. Not because those things were inherently fun but they were easy, so much easier than slowing down. Sora was like Roxas in that regard-"I could take a week, maybe"-imaginary adventures no longer cut it("...just the wind") and slow days on Destiny Islands were an enema to the energetic Sora, he'd sealed the world and now desired nothing more than to be off and this had frightened Sora("Ma...to.").

For some reason Sora had felt fine sharing this with Roxas and only with Roxas, not that the latter had complained, and though they'd lobbed ideas back and forth for awhile they'd eventually decided to simply put up with the boredom. After all they were stuck for awhile with no gummie ship and no way to contact Cid to have one sent out, after all when the King and his loyal servants("We have to remember our mission.") had left Sora had thought he'd enjoy the vacation; but no he loathed it and wanted to move on from this tiny world and its familiarity onto something 'new' where he could help people. Not be stuck here doing nothing in a world he knew was completely safe, even if he did still jump whenever a shadow shifted unexpectedly.

Now Roxas wished Sora's problems were solely with his strong desire to move forward and save as many people as he could (I'm a hero after-all: heroes don't take vacations). Sadly Roxas' memories had had an unintended side effect: it had brought Sora down more than being stuck on Destiny Islands. While the time he had spent with Organization had been short and somewhat unpleasant-particularly near the end-Roxas had observed his fellow Nobodies: learned their little idiosyncrasies, habits, and time-killing and now so had Sora. That was the problem, the puzzle was how to make Sora's smiles real again because Roxas was literally the only one able to(was willing to) see through that damn fake smile. A part of Roxas wondered why he cared so much, another part knew with a grim certainty that he just wanted to create a lasting effect on the world.

Tonight Roxas decided that maybe he'd been wrong and Sora still thought of them as emotionless monsters and decided to try asking directly; "what are you sorry about?"

Sora opened his mouth then closed it before looking to Roxas with bright blue eyes that no longer shined right. "I..." the words on his lips froze and died and he uncomfortably turned his face away from his Other. Sora twitched a little when Roxas' hand landed on his shoulder. "Because I...I'm a..." Again Sora stopped and shuffled away from Roxas and the Nobody sighed and massaged his temples; this was the 3rd (16th) time they had reached this impasse: Roxas would almost get the answer or bring out Sora's better side only for him to suddenly retreat("You scared, you gonna cry?").

"They had to be stopped, they weren't sitting back sipping tea when you fought; they chose their fate with their own two hands." The words were out of Roxas' mouth before he could stop them and he instantly regretted them but tried to keep it out of his eyes as he gave Sora what he hoped was a determined glare. Blue met blue for a second before Sora looked back to the darkness that extended infinitely in this place devoid of anything but the single tower of stained glass the two boys now sat upon.

"I'm sorry Roxas...since I'm the one who killed you." Roxas blinked in confusion; briefly thinking he had heard the words-said barely above a whisper-wrong. He hadn't, and then he let out a laugh, he really couldn't help it the statement was so...so ridiculous. Sora for his part pouted and looked quite offended, "whats with that reaction?" Sora choked on the sudden increase in his own volume.

Roxas looked at Sora for about half a second before he doubled over again shaking from laughter that was just barely contained. "You realize...I was already um....in you during our fight in The World That Never Was, right?"

"Of course! I meant before that in Twilight...the virtual Twilight Town and even before that my existence did nothing but hurt you." Sora's voice started offended at the veiled insult to his intelligence but softened and became more melancholy as he went on.

Again Roxas could only blink in confusion "when have you ever..." Roxas trailed off trying to figure out what the hell Sora meant then it came to him with a sudden clarity. The laughter threatened to burst out again, but Roxas put a lid on that, it wouldn't do to insult Sora again. "Do you mean what Ansem, and Riku did?"

Sora shook his head; "well yes, but more: first I created you without knowing anything then my quick recovery left you in a daze for 2 weeks and even afterwards you were just a tool used by them. That fake town and its cruel mockery of a normal life was just..." Sora didn't know how to finish that sentence so he just cast his eyes down to the stained glass edge and the darkness beyond it. Though he was forced to look up when he heard a suppressed laugh.

"So-sorry its just I was worried that you were suffering from something hard to straighten out but its something like that." A glare from Sora made Roxas hold up his hand so he could think without being interrupted and form a satisfactory follow up to that last statement. "Sora you didn't know about the Nobodies at that time("So you have come this far and still you understand nothing.") and even if you did you would have STILL done what you did because you would have saved Kairi no matter what, barring the complete destruction of a world. ("I'm not letting you take Kairi's heart!") As for the Organization using me it was Xemnas who picked me up in a state of weakness and used my lack of memories to turn me into his tool, and the rest who went along with it. Riku did what he did to help you, and it did; Ansem was driven by revenge; his reports clearly spelt it out, right? So, in the end you were to be used to, just to the opposite ends, even if you accidentally ruined everything he had planned. And at least Ansem apologized at the very end."

"Because that makes it all better." Sora retorted instantly-apparently the thought had wormed its way into his brain as well-with an uncharacteristically nasty sarcastic edge to his voice. "Using me, and Riku, hurting you and being so focused on revenge he lost sight of everything: some scientist." A speck of red appeared in the black distance as a nasty look appeared on Sora's face but it was quickly replaced with his usual smile. "Let's not focus on that you forgive me right Roxas?"

Roxas simply massaged his temple again "I have nothing to forgive you for. Everything you're blaming yourself for was either not your fault or was completely unavoidable " Roxas was starting to sound annoyed.

"Say it anyway?" Sora was pleading.

"Why?"

"It'd make me feel better." The specks in the distance were getting bigger.

Roxas was not ignorant to the growing spots in the distance, nor the half-heard snatches of voices: "go play....this.", "oh we do....itor.", "...dom...where....art?" Roxas took a deep breath knowing what he needed ("So...rry") to say wasn't what he wanted to say ("...not go...either"), but had to be said knowing it could break Sora ("To the heart seeking...darkness") knowing everything could come crashing down with one word ("Light!"): one word that Roxas didn't want to say but had to. "No." A sharp crack was heard then sound of glass tinkling like wind chimes as it swept across the ground by a wind that affected only it; Roxas spared a glance down to see a delicate cobweb of cracks on the stained glass surface upon which he and Sora sat, still small but growing.

"So I really can't be forgiven, huh?" Sora's voice cracked much like the tower of glass on which he sat while his eyes, so like the sky, sparkled in that strange way they had been for days as the dots got ever closer taking on more distinct forms. Even up close the figures were mostly lost in darkness due to their black clothing and only their faces, and some were mutilated, were distinct but the hair made it easy to identify "who" there were in "life" where the faces failed. "Well I already knew it...I really don't belong on these islands anymore ("...ever change.") the Sora they want and who I am now are just...too different."

Again a sound like that of wind chimes tauntingly made its way to the boys' ears as two distinct pieces of a body floated by. The swept back blond hair as pale as ever but the rest of the face had clearly taken a beating: the figure only had one ear the other ripped off painfully if the way the skin stretched and had ragged edges at the point of the tear were any indication (The keyblade slashed out and around the shielding card, the teeth caught something and Sora tugged: a pained scream, flowing red, tears of pain, unsympathetic blue eyes, a flick to discard the now useless skin and a search for further weaknesses.). Blood ,still red, oozed from the opening in the skin hanging languidly and tauntingly in the darkness pinpricks of red that circulated a face bruised blue-black. The body continued its slow circulation of the pair uncaring of the morbid interest of the blue eyes locked onto it and their owners shared desire for it to not be there and so it continued. The divide-a clean cut just beneath the body's ribs-was marked by free-floating bits of black leather and a clock face: hands removed the gears broken and sticking out connected to the face only by rusted springs that no longer bent and seemed in constant danger of breaking.

Sora tore his eyes away from the figure ("Let's skip the formalities") and again into the darkness though now he noticed it didn't continue forever downward instead ending in churning red. "I can't forgive you for it Sora, its not my right." The sudden intrusion of Roxas' voice caused Sora to look at his Other even as the tower became more unstable(everything was cracking and sliding away into red), and a body surrounded by broken lances passed by: hair once in dreadlocks now free and hanging long. The body was filled with holes, all oozing blood freely that slowed and danced in morbid circles of red inches above the wound from which it seeped, including from the largest hole: the one in the head which had clipped off half the right side of the figure's face leaving only the back, bits of grey matter floating as freely as the blood ("Yes. Let your anger grow.")

"Wha-"

"You're sorry, you regret but I'm not the one who can forgive you for your actions, that's a privilege only you have, Sora."

"But they were Roxas' companions right and I made you see so many horrible things so please-!" A hand had covered his mouth as Roxas rubbed his temples.

"I was going to go back and try to murder them all but got intercepted by Riku, an act which did indirectly save me, seeing them die didn't hurt me at all Sora." ("I'm. So. FLATTERED!") A body with a shock of red hair passed by some of its skin burnt black like the clothes it wore, clothes which had done nothing to stymy the flames created by their wearer; unlike the others what could be seen of this body's face seemed tranquil almost...happy. It was a testament to Roxas' will that his voice only shook the tiniest bit when he said; "expect his, even if he was a selfish jerk. But like the others he took his fate into his own two hands, and I'm glad things ended like they did at least this way my 'death' had purpose." At some point Roxas' hand had slipped away and the ominous cracking that had continued endlessly since that word had come from Roxas' mouth had stopped(Amazed blue eyes watched as his skin patched up the stream of precious red stopped with no more than a word, and relief flooded his body: 'I don't want to die').

"Namine said you weren't destined to fade into nothing and you're still here so maybe...you'll stay like this? Maybe this is your life now...worse than death huh?" Sora had a slight smile on his face slightly sad and his tone suggested he was only half-joking but at least some genuine warmth had found its way into the boy.

"No changing the subject we can deal with my fate later."

"You just don't want to admit I'm right." A playful prod.

Roxas sighed resigned to the fact that Sora wasn't going to let this drop, and it was cheering the brunette up a little bit. "If this is all there is...just this, then maybe my life isn't so bad."

Sora let out a small laugh; "I like your version a lot better than Riku's. So does that mean you'll stay Roxas?"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow at Sora; "does it look like I'm going anywhere?" He would have continued but Sora had suddenly launched himself at his Other and wrapped his arms around him.

"Then you've done enough for now."

"Say you forgive yourself."

"I can't" Sora's voice had wavered and Roxas could feel tears on his neck. "Not quite yet, maybe next time but I am feeling better so stick around Roxas." Sora finally pulled back his smile in place: it was frayed at the edges and seemed a little weak, but it was real. "I want you to promise me though that you're not going anywhere Roxas-huh?" That last bit was in reference to the fact that from Sora's perspective Roxas had grown; Sora had let his mind wander and decided on the manner in which he wanted Roxas to promise but was embarrassed as it was something Riku had shown him at the age of 8 and that was what the Sora in that mental world looked like now.

Sora looked down at himself and frowned slightly before shrugging and with a smile only an 8-year-old could muster held his right hand out to Roxas pinky extended. Roxas stared at the finger for a moment; "you're not going to reconsider this are you?" A shake of Sora's head confirmed Roxas' fears and he suddenly wished he was, or rather had ever properly been, 8 just to alleviate some of the embarrassment from this situation-why were he and Sora suddenly eye-to-eye again?

Sora giggled guessing correctly what exactly Roxas had just thought about. Both were slightly surprised that rather than turning into an 8-year-old Sora he looked like a younger version of himself: he kept the white and black colour scheme for his clothes and the checkered black-and-white wristband, and his hair had become a darker shade of blonde much like Sora's hair became a deeper brown in this younger state. Roxas blinked then shrugged it off; this was a mental world this wasn't the weirdest thing that could have possibly happened ("Off with...terribly important....are you prepared for the worst? If not, too bad!"). Suddenly he had a small hand extended in front of him with the smallest finger extended and Roxas could only roll his eyes. "Fine, fine, buuuut you have to promise to listen and come to me for help or advice."

Sora nodded happily "will do...so long as you stay with me Roxas. Ah, maybe sometimes I could even hand over the reigns for a bit so you can be more than just an observer".

Roxas sighed; "I won't hold you to that last part but the rest is fine." He locked his pinkie with his Somebody and they recited the chant in perfect unison, "its a pinky swear, if you lie, swallow 1,000 needles, its a pro-mise."

"There its official now so my first piece of advice is to go home; when morning comes everyone's going to worry dummy." Sora blinked once in confusion and then it hit him and he couldn't help but laugh.

"I forgot I came out to the kid's island to look at the stars, hehe guess you're right Roxas, night." Sora waved once then began to wake up...