So I haven't written fanfiction in years, but then I got an inspiration for one of my favorite shows ever, and I just started typing. I've got a ton of chapters already done, but I need feedback. I've never written Castle before. I'm saying right now that it won't be a slash, so if that's what you're expecting then I'm sorry to dissapoint. I don't have anything against slash fics, but I prefer other pairings. I'm going to have bits and pieces of Castle/Beckett, Lanie/Esposito, and Ryan/Jenny.
I need feedback if I'm to continue. I'll give you the first few chapters, but then you're on your own.
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. If only if only (the woodpecker sighs...)
Chapter One: What Made Them Such Good Cops
Detective Kevin Ryan was a fairly mellow guy, very go-with-the-flow, wasn't angered easily, and he tried not to let the little things bother him. Overall, there was mainly one thing that could make him lose his cool, and that was the people he cared about.
Detective Ryan was nothing if not fiercely loyal, and deeply empathetic. If his family or friends was in danger he'd stop at nothing to protect them. He would do next to anything, sacrifice anything for them.
He never understood how Beckett was able to make the call to the families of their victims. He knew that he could never do it; he'd never be able to change someone's life like that. He could never be the cause of so much pain. He'd promised himself years ago that he would never inflict so much pain on anyone else in any way; he'd never be that person.
He had decided long ago to become the opposite. He wanted to help people… save them from the horrors that could be humanity. He wanted to be a Catcher in the Rye, which was eventually why he decided to become a cop. He had done it so long that it was just second nature by now.
In each victim he saw someone he cared about, someone worth avenging, or comforting. A teenage boy became his ten year old nephew, Nick, who bounced back from everything so quickly. Young women easily became either Tessa or Beth, his two younger sisters. Sometimes he would see Jenny in them. Sometimes in the men, he'd see his best friend, and his partner. He related each case directly to himself, and because of it, every person involved was his business.
When Sorenson drafted Beckett's team to help find that kidnapped little girl, Angela Candela, he immediately thought of Ashleigh. After the failed backpack drop, he spent hours at the worn down punching bag in the precinct basement, furiously trying to appease his guilt, frustration, and helplessness. By the time he left the sweaty basement it was 4:30 in the morning, but he still couldn't sleep, so he settled for restlessly pacing the streets of New York City until he had to be at work the next day.
Similarly, with the case of the murdered pop star Hayley Blue, he had to retreat back to the basement gym once he learned about some of the twists the case took, especially when Castle found the breakthrough in her last song. He had known there was something that he was missing, and when he heard the details, he was infuriated by his own obliviousness. He should have known.
That compassion and personal relation to each case is what drives him to help the families, and avenge the victims. It's what makes him such a good cop.
•••
Detective Javier Esposito was very work-oriented when the job required it to be. When he stepped on a case, it became exclusively and strictly the job. His highest virtues were truth, and justice. He couldn't be out finding the truth if he held personal attachments to the case.
But that didn't mean that he backed out if he started to get sentimental. He just knew when to take a step back, and compartmentalize. Over the years he'd learned how to separate attachments from the facts, and kept a stoic face.
Outside the job, he was deeply protective of the people he cared about, and would defend them to the end. Had he ever needed to choose between his personal life and his duty, and commitment to the truth, he was unsure of which side he would take. As much as Esposito would like to believe he would support his responsibility to the family of the victim, he wouldn't delude himself into believing that there was no chance of him protecting the people he loved over what was right. He knew there was always that chance.
That objective mindset and ability to compartmentalize is what helps him to find the truth, and give closure to the families of the victims. It's what makes him such a good cop.
•••
The two partners balance each other perfectly, and despite their huge differences, they somehow appear to be completely the same. Their witty banter mixed perfectly, and they could spend days bouncing quips and clever remarks off each other. No matter their separate backgrounds and vastly different upbringings, they were so similar at their jobs, even when they approached it from completely different sides. After three years of working together, they were practically inseparable.
They each had different methods, and balanced each other out. The close connection they had, that helped combine Ryan's intuition and subtle understanding of people with Esposito's determination and quick thinking is what made them such fantastic partners.
When Castle had started shadowing Beckett, he noticed the close bond between the two, but originally wrote it off as some common, subconscious thing that naturally occurred between partners. After all, partners did trust each other with their lives, and spent hours upon hours in each other's company daily. It was only after he had spent some time at the precinct meeting other teams that he learned this wasn't the case, and that the connection he saw was singular to them. It was so prominent, that he couldn't help but include it in Heat Wave, and even gave them a nickname.
They really were best friends, and as close as brothers. After three years, they knew close to everything about each other. Though both were normally private people, they found that they felt at ease opening up to the other since near the beginning. Even though an unspoken rule of thumb in the precinct is to respect personal boundaries between coworkers (both knew that the rule was put in place for people like Beckett) neither of them seemed to have a problem with comfort zones.
Obviously at first there were some protective walls and past ghosts that had to be put to rest. Esposito had just lost his partner, and was still angry, grieving, and wounded, though he refused to show it. When Ryan first met him, he met a man who didn't want to replace his old partner, and didn't want to get close to another partner, for fear of losing another good friend. Ryan's first impression of Esposito was the wounded stoic. Then he slowly dug his way to the real guy underneath.
When Esposito was first assigned Ryan as his new partner, he saw a cheery, but modest guy, who had too much experience and intuition to be considered a rookie, but the appearance of one who believed in people too much to have been working as a cop for very long. He reminded Esposito a bit of a puppy, always eager to please, but he also turned out to be a funny guy, and pretty chill too. Esposito's first impression of Ryan was the optimistic newbie, who had yet to witness the worst of humanity. But as time passed, Esposito began to think that there was something deeper that Ryan was hiding.
•••
One day, during the middle of a case about a vampire, he overheard an unusual conversation between Castle and Beckett. At first, the abnormality of it was the distinct lack of sarcasm, innuendos, and/or Beckett glaring, but then when he started to really listen, the content surprised him as well.
"Psychology 101: they probably had something happen to them when they were younger. Maybe they saw their dog get hit by a car, attended an open-casket funeral, had a loss of a childhood friend, or… parent. Some people become vampires. Some people become cops."
Beckett's inciting incident was nothing less than obvious; her mother's murder. Everyone in the precinct knew that. Not knowing the reason for her life being uprooted, and her sudden loss of a female role model, she became determined to solve the case herself, so she could finally find some closure. Even when she finally let go of the unsolvable case, she still kept it with her. It drove her to be such a good cop; she became determined to never let a family go without the closure and justice she never got.
Castle had done what he always did when asked about the origins of his interest in murder. The made-up story about seeing a boy's dead body on a beach didn't last long before Beckett uncovered the ruse. In Esposito's opinion though, Castle had crossed some sort of line when he made up that tale. The writer was much too flippant about the question. Even though Esposito himself tried to lighten the somber mood that came with the job description, there were times when respect had to be paid, especially in the topic of many people's pasts.
Another story Castle told about the beginnings of his inspiration as a mold about the beginnings of his inspiration as a mystery writer was a certain famous British spy. Esposito wasn't sure if he believed that it inspired his fascination with the macabre. It may have been a contributing factor, but not the true beginning. As much as he would never admit it, Esposito had read Castle's books, and that British spy was no connection to the raw humanisms Castle depicts in his writing.
Esposito could make some pretty good guesses as to what his own beginning was. And they would be some very safe guesses too. It was true that not all cops had traumatizing events early in their childhood, but he had come to notice that many of the best cops did carry chips on their shoulders. Beckett was a prime example of that. And, while he couldn't stand the arrogance he heard in his thoughts, he believed himself to be another example.
But he refused to dwell on the past. Detective Esposito kept his eyes focused on what was directly in front of him, even if he knew that he never looked back because he was afraid of what he'd find. It wasn't important. He had overcome his ghosts long ago, and laid them to rest. Now, he focused on bringing down the bad guys.
But what first started Ryan on the path to becoming a cop … Esposito had absolutely no clue. He knew one thing for sure; his partner was a fantastic cop. Whether it was dealing with families, digging for information, researching for Beckett, or coming up with new leads, Ryan had an uncanny intuition.
When Castle first started shadowing Beckett, Ryan was by far the first one to understand and emulate his humanistic theories. Before, the team had worked each case like a game of fill-in-the-blanks. Once everything fit, then they made an arrest. In hindsight, Ryan always seemed to struggle with the fill-in-the-blanks method, and it became more obvious when Castle appeared that Ryan enjoyed the humanity of the job, and had an affinity for noticing the small things that people try to cover up. While Castle showed his people skills by thoroughly understanding the obscure details about the murderers, Ryan was amazingly able to put himself into the shoes of the victim.
There was no doubt in Esposito's mind that Ryan was a fantastic cop because of his abstract way of thinking. But once the idea was planted in his mind, it was near impossible to shake. He knew his own back-story, as well as Beckett's way too well for him not to worry. He was well aware of that. Ryan was one of the most stable, balanced guys he had ever met (no matter how whipped the dude was) and never seemed to lose his eager, hopeful belief in humanity, despite seeing the worst of it daily. No one like that could possibly carry scars too deep, and he had never seen anything surface in Ryan that would suggest anything of the sort. There was not nearly enough evidence to lose sleep over, and wasn't worth the awkward conversation that would unavoidably ensue if Esposito approached his partner about some trauma that probably didn't even exist.
Well, now I need to know what you think. Should it continue? I know I haven't written in forever, but I'm not sure if I like it. If it gets a good response then I'd love to continue. Regardless, review please.