Disclaimer I own nothing, not the characters... not the song... nothing... The song btw is 'The winner takes it all' by Abba (a true blast from the past there huh?)
A/N Ok! This song is one of my faves of all time yay! and, because I think it fits in so well with this story, which I have been toying with for a while, I'm gonna turn it into a songfic (I might write a separate story too – who knows... but for now...) so, uh, yeh, there is slash in this one again, but is probably not as dark as the other stuff I've done (see! I am capable of writing happy... well... happier anyway...) enjoy
"The Winner Takes It All"
I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
They had been best friends since either of them could remember. They had spent every day together, shared some of life's most daunting problems and through all of the fights and the accusations and the bruisings, they had always stuck by each other. But that's all changed.
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
Now there is an air of resentment that hangs between them. An unease that threatens to tear them apart. The innocence of their childhood is gone, and with it, the harmony of their friendship. The laughs and the trust is far behind them, leaving only the future, so grim.
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Double D lay on his bed, gazing sadly at the emptiness that had been left behind when Eddy had received that phone call. Nazz. Double D had never really felt hate for anyone before. But oh, how he hated Nazz. Why did Eddy feel he needed her? They already had each other! Double D had opened up to Eddy, told him how he really felt and Eddy had been pleased! He had returned his gestures and they could have been so happy...
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play
But Eddy wanted more. Double D would never be enough. True – he needed his best friend desperately, and if Eddy were truly honest with himself he knew that he loved him. But, he had a reputation, an image to uphold. The others would never accept admitting his true feelings for his friend. Double D tore his gaze away, shaking his head to rid his mind of the image of the blonde, and rolled over onto his back. His was loosing his best friend - his lover – and there was nothing he could do about it.
The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny
He could never compete with Nazz. So beautiful, so feminine – surely she could give Eddy all he ever wanted. When he was with her they seemed so happy – a happiness that Double D wished he could share with the shorter boy. But when it came down to it, Nazz was what he wanted.
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
That first night. Just thinking about it brought tears to the slight boy's eyes. Eddy had comforted him, held him, told him that everything would be all right. Double D had believed him. Believed that Eddy was sincere when he told him that the feelings building inside him, tearing at his soul, were returned. Believed that he was what Eddy wanted.
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
It made such perfect logic. That all of the experiences they had ever shared together, both good and bad, would eventually lead them to this. That they would eventually grow closer and closer.
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
They could have had it all. They had been so content. Just being held by his friend, being able to hear the gentle sounds of his heart beating as he rested his head upon his chest. Double D had all he had ever wanted...
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules
But it was all just a dream. A fantasy that would never come to light. Eddy had thought it deplorable when Double D had suggested that they should stop trying to hide from the others. That they should just admit their feelings for each other and let themselves be confident in their love. Eddy didn't want to be brandished. He was so afraid of the consequence.
The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
Eddy had always been ruled by his image and his easily bruised ego. He had also always been the outcast of the cul-de-sac. The other kids, with such closed minds, such shallow beliefs and with so much power over the three best friends, had been so determined to see them fall. Until recently, when Nazz had admitted that she too held feelings for Eddy and, in the spirit of keeping up appearances, he had accepted her offer and the two had started dating.
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
After Double D found out he had been rendered speechless. That Eddy could sink so low as to betray him. He had tried to hide it from him for a while – claiming that he and Nazz were just friends, but Double D knew. The way that Nazz looked at him, and the way he looked back at her. The same way as he had once looked at him. He had lost everything the day that Eddy had walked out of his life.
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.
But what could he do? There was no way for him to try and change his mind. No ways to win him back from Nazz. He should have known that he could never be truly happy with Eddy. He was condemned to living his life alone it seemed.
But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
He lifted his weight of the bed and walked to the window, eyes blurring with tears as he watched Eddy walk over to the blonde girl and embrace her in a large hug before pressing his lips to hers. It was too much to bear – that such a short time ago it had been his lips that lay against Eddy's. Such a short time ago those lips had spoken such words of denied love.
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
He turned from the window – not wanting to see any more. He couldn't abide the jealously, the rejection. Did Eddy tell Nazz that he loved her? Did they whisper romantic words of affection to each other? Words that Double D so desperately wanted to hear. Did he truly love her?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
No. If he loved her as much as he said then surely he would still not need Double D. As it was, Eddy had been leading a sort of Double life. In public he was the brash, egotistical leader who was dating the most popular girl in the neighbourhood. Behind closed doors – when he was alone with Double D – he was so much more than that. And Double D was so desperate for his love, so in need of his affections, that he allowed himself to be manipulated in this way.
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed
He would never complain. He might not ever have Eddy all to himself, but at least he would be able to feel his love for just that short while, before watching him leave and return to his girlfriend. It was the only way
The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
And that was how it went. Hidden secrets, veiled love. Double D found he was almost able to life with the guilt and the pain. Until Kevin found out. Suddenly Eddy had a choice to make. Did he carry on pretending; live the life on top that he had always wanted to lead, with Nazz at his side. Or would he follow his heart, not allowing the coldness of the cul-de-sac residents to interfere with the love he felt for his best friend?
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
Double D could do nothing but sit back and watch as Eddy made his decision. It wasn't up to him to influence him in any way. This was a choice that could only be made by his best friend.
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
Everything hanging in the balance. Would they really be able to carry on as friends if Eddy chose Nazz? Would they ever make it as lovers?
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all
Would Eddy simply give in to the pressure, the trials and tribulations that came with such a complex life? Or would he finally be able to see the bigger picture, that no matter what, true love could overcome all obstacles...
....................................................................................................................
I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
Eddy stood in front of his long-time best friend, eyes cast to the floor. He was terrified of what he was about to say. He had made a decision, but had it been the right one? Was there another way?
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
No words needed pass between them for Double D to know exactly which decision he had made. Tears began to fell down his cheeks, emerald eyes, so full of pain.
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
He turned away from Eddy, hoping that his friend would comfort him, lay a hand on his shaking shoulders and speak words of reassurance, tell him that he really did love him.
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But all he heard was his friend whisper softly
"Goodbye..."
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...
Sniffle Ok... so much for that being happy... ah well... Hope you enjoyed. Again, this isn't really my usual style of writing and so feedback is very much appreciated! Thanks in advance