Know Your Stars: Smashers Style

Polska – Yes, I have decided to rewrite it. I have a lot of time on my hands. It'll be the same, except for the better grammar ect.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer began.

Camera shows Samus sitting on a chair.

"Samus…she is in love with Roy…" he continued.

Samus blinked once, before becoming angry at the unknown voice. "I don't love Roy. I like him as a friend," she replied.

"Samus…she just said she likes Roy…" the announcer answered.

"I didn't say that, God. I said I like him as a FRIEND. Of course, you wouldn't know that because don't have any. Don't you know any English?" Samus said, her temper rising.

"No."

"Lies…" Samus hissed.

"Samus…she doesn't have a tongue…" the announcer said calmly.

"How can I not have tongue? That's retarded. Why am I talking then, huh? Answer that Mister. Smarty-pants," Samus answered triumphantly.

"Samus…she uses her tongue to tell lies…" the announcer replied.

"Aha! You just admitted that I have a tongue!" Samus yelled out, clapping her hands together.

"Who said you didn't?"

"You did!"

"Samus…" the announcer continued. "She's a total girly-girl…"

"EW, you're gross! I hate girly-girl stuff! Are you mental? Where do you get your information?" Samus cried.

"I have my sources."

"Well your sources are wrong!"

"Now you know, Samus…the non-tongued girly-girl…" the announcer concluded gleefully.

"Argh! That doesn't deserve to be dignified with a response but I feel like responding anyways!" Samus shouted. "They know nothing of me! I do have a tongue or I won't be talking! Roy doesn't deserve to be loved! And don't you dare leave! You are a mental person who deserves to be locked up in a mental asylum!"

Camera fades out.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer started.

Camera shows Zelda sitting on a chair.

"Zelda…she secretly hates Link…" he continued.

"I don't hate Link, I like him!" Zelda replied haughtily.

"So you're in love with him then?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Zelda…she likes to stuff pasta down her dress every morning…" the announcer added.

"Kay, so, number one, that's sick," Zelda answered. "Number two, pasta is like…icky…it's like got…tomatoes." Zelda shuddered.

"Zelda…she has purple hair?" the announcer said as if Zelda hadn't said anything.

"I do not!" the Princess protested. "I have blond hair! Not purple! Blond!"

"What's blond?"

"Idiot, God!"

"Zelda, she's the Princess of Chickens…" the announcer continued.

"No way fah-reek! I'm the Princess of Hyrule! There's a big difference ya know! I don't even like chickens! They can't fly!" Zelda yelled, throwing her arms in the air.

"Now you know…Zelda," the announcer ended. "The purple-haired chicken ruler."

"Oh you crossed the line there buddy! I am totally not the Princess of Chickens!" Zelda yelled out angrily. "I like Link, not love him and I friggen hate pasta! You're just like retarded!"

The Princess then ran from the stage.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer said.

Camera shows Mario sitting on a chair. (Polska – I shall not include accents…well you already know this so read on!)

"Mario…he likes to do the chicken dance…" the announcer started.

"Who said? I like to dance…but I'm totally not fond of the chicken dance," Mario stated.

"Mario…he just admitted that he likes to do the chicken dance…" the announcer replied.

"I did not! Who said?" Mario protested.

"You did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"DID NOT!"

"Mario…he's afraid of cougars…" the announcer continued.

"Well chy-ea, they're like, wild animals, y'know!" Mario replied loudly.

"Wimp."

"I am not!"

"Oh dude, you are so a wimp."

"I am not, you freak!"

"And now you know, Mario…" the announcer concluded. "The wimpy chicken dancer."

"Hey buddy, I am not a wimp! Kay? Who isn't afraid of cougars? Dude, seriously, they're freaking wild animals!" Mario shouted. "God! I don't like the chicken dance! You are insane! In to the sane! God!"

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer began.

Camera shows Bowser sitting on a chair.

"Bowser…he is the King of Mushrooms…" he continued.

"Uh no. I'm the King of Koopa's. Jeez, everyone knows that…" Bowser muttered, partially to himself.

"But you're a turtle!" Roy yelled from nowhere in particular.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Bowser…he has a secret crush on Peach…" the announcer continued after that silence.

"Um, no, I don't," Bowser answered.

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Absolutely."

"Liar."

"So not."

"So are."

"Loser."

"I'm not the one who has a crush on Peach."

"I DON'T!"

"Bowser, he likes to fill his shell with donuts every night…" the announcer said.

"I do not! I don't even like them!" Bowser wailed.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Because donuts are sticky…"

"Whatever you say."

"They are!"

"And now you know, Bowser…the donut-shelled mushroom ruler…" the announcer concluded.

"They know absolutely nothing! Filling a shell with donuts is weird! I am the King of Koopa's, not mushrooms! God! I don't like Peach! She's prissy. What is wrong with you?" Bowser cried and stomped off the stage, leaving a large hole in it.

And next, as you all know, are Peach, Nana, Ganondorf and Linky-poo. :) I made a few changes, but not too many. 'Kthx for the reviews. ;)