Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight. I'm just having fun with her characters.

Chapter 1

I can't go back, I think to myself. What am I going to say when I see him? Maybe I'll get lucky and can just ignore him. Maybe I can make that work . . .

I know from the get-go there is no point in even letting myself believe that delusional lie for a second. That might be possible in any other high school, but definitely not Forks. Knowing my luck I'll probably have at least five classes with him.

I'm just not ready to see him yet. I know it's been a year since the whole thing went down, but the gaping womb where my heart used to be still feels so fresh. I know I'm being a bit dramatic, but I loved him with everything I had.

Correction: I love him with everything I have.

I think that's the worst part. My inability to get over him. This would all be so much easier if I could just hate him for everything he put my through, but I know I'll never be able to hate him; I love him too much for that. I don't think I'll ever find the ability in myself to stop loving him. I consider that one of my most major flaws.

I've read novels and watched movies were a person had an unrequited love, and sure I sympathized with them, but never in my life did I expect it to hurt this much. Knowing that he doesn't love me, and probably never did, is definitely tied with my inability to get over him for first place in the "worst part" category.

I know that had he loved me, he never would have cheated on me. I know that, feeling the way I do about him, I could never even consider the idea of being with someone else. Not even because of the prospect of hurting him, although now I know that he wouldn't care, let alone be hurt, but because I don't want to be with anyone else. Probably my biggest obstacle in the whole "getting over him" plan.

It's been a year. A year since I ran away from the only life I knew. Life with my father and brother. Not that it's them I ran away from, but the pain of my heartbreak. It's true what they say about pain though - you can run from it, but it will always catch up to you. I don't know what my life would be like if I never left home - maybe I would be happy, have moved on, or maybe I'd be even more miserable than I am here.

I have a hard time excepting that only a year has gone by, though, since I moved to Phoenix with my mother and step-father Phil. This probably had to do with my complete disregard for making anything more than casual acquaintances at this place. I haven't gone out once with a group of friends since I arrived here. Although, that could very well be because of the fact that I have no friends here. I knew no one could compare to the ones I left behind in Forks, so why even bother? And in a weird way, it always felt that if I made friends here I would be betraying my ones from back home. And I know what it feels like first hand to be on the receiving side of betrayal, and I can honestly say I will therefore never be the one to dish it out.

My mother halts my inner ramblings as she shouts from what sounds like the bottom of the stairs.

"Bells, you all packed? Phil wants to pack up the car tonight, since your flight is so early."

"Almost. Just give me a second, Mom".

"Sure, sweetie, just hurry up 'cause you got to get to bed. Okay?"

"Okay"

I sigh. My mother. I love her, but living with her . . . well in all honesty it's a complete pain in the ass. Going from my quiet father, who wasn't much to prying, to her, who was the queen of prying herself was not an easy transition. I know her heart has always been in the right place, but I don't think privacy is even a word in her dictionary.

The only thing in my life that I don't think she ever pried on was my decision to come here. When I called her and told her my bullshit story that I wanted to live with her because it was hard to be so far away from my mother and that I wanted to spend time with her before I went of to college, I could tell she didn't believe me. But for some reason she still went along with it. Something I will forever be grateful for.

There are only a few people who know the real reason I left, and I would like to keep it that way. Luckily having a big brother who was basically the most popular person at school made this much easier than I expected. He assured me that any rumors that spread on my untimely departure he nipped in the bud.

While having a brother who is fiercely overprotective over you can be annoying at times, it really comes in useful for situations like this. Gotta love him.

Me and Emmett are probably closer than most siblings. We've always had this connection to each other that would annoy Charlie to no end when we were younger. It was like we were twins, even though he's more than a year older than me. We had this secret language that only we understood and we could convey anything we wanted to, just with one short look. Us being close, though, did not mean we were anything alike. My 6 foot two, outgoing brother towers over my shy, petite 5 foot three frame. While he's captain of the football and wrestling teams, if I so much try to do anything physical, I pose the risk of hurting myself or others. It was something I got used to, though, and I think us being so different is what makes us so close.

God, I miss him. I haven't been able to see him since the day I left everything behind. I haven't seen anyone from my old life since then. But tomorrow that's going to chance and I couldn't be more scared shitless because of it.

It only takes my another few minutes to get all my stuff together. It's not like I really had all the much to pack up in the first place.

"Thank God! I am finally done with that horrid packing!", I say over dramatically as I walk down the stairs with my bags. Phil quickly comes over to me and takes them out to the car, with a slight smile on his face.

Even though I know he loves me, and that he would never admit it, I know he's happy that he and my mother are going to have some alone time. When they got married a few months before I moved here, he did not sign on to help raise a teenage girl. I can't blame him, though. I must have been such of a burden.

"Oh sweetie, I can't believe you are leaving tomorrow. You know it's not to late to change your mind and come to New York with us!", Renee says sadly as she walks over to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

I sigh as I place my head on my shoulder. Their move to New York. The ultimate reason I will be going back home. Renee was offered a promotion at work that was too good to turn down. The only catch was that she was being relocated to New York City.

"Mom we talked about this. You know I had such a hard time with the initial move here. I didn't transition well, especially at school. I've never been good with meeting new people. It will be easier if I just go home to Dad." I give her a sad smile.

I know that she regrets not being a bigger part of mine and Emmett's lives, only seeing us during summer breaks and some holidays, but I also know that I am holding her and Phil back. I don't want to restrict them because I'm a coward. This was the reason that when I found out about the move, I decided it was time for my to suck it up and go home. I need to stop running from my problems and instead face them head on.

PLEASE READ

So, there ya have it! The first Chapter! I know what most of you are thinking. "Why start a new story when you have a hard enough time updating your others regularly?" Well I can answer that with one simple little fact: This isn't a new story. I wrote this when I was about thirteen I believe for some other fanfiction type site. I found it on my computer the other day and it was just begging me to let it see the light of day again. Who was i to refuse? So I did some major editing, (seriously, if you think it sucks now, you would be horrified at the original version. Note to 13 year-old-self: You are not the best writer, therefore, don't quit your day-job.) and this was the end result. I know the plot and themes may be a tad bit ridiculous and unrealistic, but people please remember it was barley a teenage mind that came up with this stuff. My posting schedule should be pretty regular since it's mainly just editing. Your reviews inspire me!