I'm going to die. This is it, I can feel it. I can f- where's the suit? WHERE IS IT. Fuck, I'm going to-Tony's mind races and his breath quickens until he can feel himself slipping. He leans against the wall, sweat seemingly pouring from his body. Tony collapses to the floor with a heavy thud, still vigilant.
Bruce rushes over. "Tony! Can you hear me? Tony!"
Tony's chest is heaving, yet he feels it constricting quickly. I can't breathe. I can't-He gasps for air.
Bruce crouches down to Tony's eye level. "Tony. Listen to me. Everything is just fine; I'm here." He dictates slowly, then drops to a whisper. "I'm here. You're okay, I promise."
Tony can feel his heart slowing down and his breathing is somewhat back to normal. He tries to say something - anything, really - but the words seem to disappear at his lips, and he's left spluttering. How embarrassing.
"Shhh..." Bruce strokes Tony's smooth, albeit somewhat sweaty, forehead. "It's alright; I know. Do you want to talk about it? Maybe that will make it better." He tries to appear open and diffident. Banner leans in to embrace the broken philanthropist now that he is calmer.
With his torso now wrapped in Bruce's arms, Tony's ambivalence of appreciative and agitated - almost resentful - feelings toward Bruce suddenly become as unbearable as his previous anxiety; he frees himself from Banner's embrace and turns away. "Later, okay?"
"Okay," Bruce agrees tenderly, with a hint of concern in his voice - enough of a hint to produce tears in Tony's eyes as he saunters off.
I can't cry in front of Bruce. I just can't.
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"Do you have to feed that thing here?" Tony whines, staring at Ralphie, Bruce's new lab rat.
"What? Yes, Tony, I have to feed him here. Is that a problem?"
"Well, you've got him all over the counter and just - he's going for the coffee maker. Bruce! He's go-"
Bruce picks up the rat and places him on top of the coffee maker, much to Tony's disgust.
"He's filthy." Tony wrinkles his nose, which amuses Bruce more than anything.
"No, he's not. Actually, contrary to popular belief, rats are remarkably clean anim-"
"I know, alright? I know. I'd just prefer him not to be on the counter, okay?" In a huff, Tony turns back to his tablet to read the news.
"It's alright, Ralphie," Bruce coos, placing the rat back in his cage. "Tony's just in a mood today; he doesn't sleep much." Bruce glances at Stark, who is glaring at him and the rat from the kitchen table.
Tony scoffs and drains his mug of coffee.
Turning from the cage, Bruce sidles behind Tony and begins stroking his soft, dark mass of tangled hair. "Anything good today?" Bruce gestures to the article Tony appears fixated on.
"Nah. I mean, same old."
"Oh, okay. You want to, um, help me in the, uh, shower then?" Bruce murmurs shyly yet seductively.
Tony leans back and tilts his head up to face Bruce. He grins. "Sure."
Bruce tries to walk as nonchalantly as possible upstairs to the shower. Wouldn't want to appear too eager. But Tony is already bounding up the stairs and passing Bruce, spanking Banner's buttocks on the way up. Bruce laughs and follows Tony up to start the water. Once they're both in the bedroom, Tony begins undressing the scientist; he removes his t-shirt and works his way down. Bruce begins removing Tony's battered grey tank top - which seems to be disintegrating on its own.
Grinning devilishly, Tony wraps his arms around Banner's middle, until so much flesh is touching it's impossible not to have an erection. Bruce blushes a furious red, moving in for a kiss.
Tony stops him. "Shower," he urges.
"Hey, you started it."
"You're such a kid," Tony teases.
The two men slip into the warm water, feeling the steam and warm water grace their bodies. Stark then takes some conditioner and rubs himself with it. Bruce is watching timidly as Tony's hand is placed around his torso. With Bruce's forearms pressed against the wall, Tony enters him and begins thrusting, gaining speed and, seemingly, more force.
Ouch, Banner thinks to himself. It's like he's trying to break down a door the way he's pushing. Tony moans, enjoying himself despite the angry thrusting. But all Bruce can do is worry - as usual. Is he... is he frustrated? I mean, I know it's been a while but-Another surge of pain interrupts his thought process. "Mmm, slower, baby, slower." He tries to appear engaged. Thankfully, Tony isn't thrusting quite as hard now, and it's actually starting to feel pleasurable. After some time, Tony comes, and Bruce's moaning has reached its peak. Bruce turns to kiss the radiantly smiling playboy behind him. Their teeth clash and Tony bites Banner's lip charmingly. Still turned on, Bruce begins running his hands over Stark's bulging muscles. He pours shampoo into his lover's hair and begins massaging it, and then moves on to washing himself.
When both men are clean and satisfied, Tony turns off the water to look at Bruce's dripping body. Perfect, he decides. He's perfect.
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Bruce wakes to the sound of Tony thrashing under their shared sheets. Not again. Not now. Please, Tony. Wake up, Bruce urges mentally. "Tony!" This time he commands it.
The wild-eyed Iron Man wakes up in a panic. "The suit!" He wails. "The suit!" There are tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. "I have to protect you. Have to."
"Tony, listen to me. The suit isn't here. I am safe. You are safe."
Stark, still bewildered, gazes at Banner with the look of a frightened child.
Bruce takes the muscular torso of the frightened man in his arms and sighs deeply with a dismal understanding. "I know it's hard," he soothes.
"No." Tony argues suddenly, anger building in his voice. "You don't know. You don't know what it's like to be scared all the time. You don't know what it's like to have random bouts ofcrippling anxiety and still be expected to wake up in the morning each day as if everything is fucking A-Okay." Tony pulls the covers over his head and balls himself up in the smooth sheets, rocking back and forth.
"Tony, I can see you."
"No, you can't."
"Oh, yeah? Who's the kid now?"
"This isn't the time for that discussion." Tony whips the blankets from himself. "And I am not some stupid kid." He takes a stab at Banner's chest. Anger flashes in the scientist's eyes. But rather than getting angry and doing who knows what, Bruce manages to calm down.
"You're right," he admits. "I don't know what it's like to have panic attacks like you. But I do know what it's like to feel out of control. That you're not even in control of your own mind or your body. To be scared you'll be...different in front of the ones you love. And feeling like you have to protect everyone, but you just...can't. I do know what that's like, Tony."
Tony blinks. "I'm sorry... I just... I can't..."
"I know."
Tears begin to leak from Tony's eyes as Bruce takes him back into his arms. Tony's body shudders silently against his. This is the first time Bruce has seen the confident playboy cry, and it's enough to bring tears to his eyes.
No, I have to stay strong. For Tony.