Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! :D
"Being single doesn't mean no one wants you, it means God is busy writing your love story…"
Joey stared at the quote displayed on his FaceBook page with utter distaste. What kind of bullshit was that anyway? Like God was some kind of Cupid writing fanfiction about all of us here on Earth. Joey snapped the screen down on his laptop with more force than necessary.
"People really believe in that shit…?" the blonde muttered darkly as he flopped back down on his bed. He knew why he was single; cause bitches be crazy. He thought when he started screwing with men he'd at the very least be free of the drama most chicks dragged into the relationships.
But Malik…
Malik was just as clingy and pushy as any of his girlfriend's had been, he had been just as annoying and hard to deal with. Malik didn't even have the fun girl parts that made suffering through hours of shopping together almost worth it.
Yet, Malik had been company, and even bad company was still company. Now that the younger teen was out of his life he couldn't block out the eerie silence of the apartment from echoing in his ears. It's only been a few hours since he broke it off and already he felt like running back to the spoiled brat.
"Pathetic Wheeler," he scowled to himself, "just…pathetic…"
But the walls kept trying to close in on him and Joey was finding it very hard not to start fidgeting. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Joey snatched up his jacket from the floor and patted the pockets for his cigarettes as he slipped it on. Fuck it, he wasn't gonna wait around for God's cheesy fairy-tale.
In the past, Rishid would have done anything for his younger brother; he still would to be honest. But when Malik learned about the relations he could have with other men, Rishid realized just how little help a big brother could be in relationship crises. The first time Malik experienced heartbreak Rishid was overwhelmed with the need to protect his brother's honor…by punching the son of bitch in the face.
Many have commented on his over-protectiveness, but Rishid had never thought much of his actions until that night. The man had been covered in bruises and the rain couldn't wash the man's blood from Rishid's hands. Rishid never loosed control like that; to severely beat a man…it was surreal.
Rishid plagued with self-hate from night own, no it was more like he was afraid of himself, scared of the things he was capable of. Rishid never told Malik, he did his best to pretend it never happened, but Rishid never forgot the First. The first boyfriend brought vengeance into Rishid's heart.
The second boyfriend brought fear.
Of course there was relief as well, Rishid was grateful that Malik had moved on and found someone else who could make him happy. But there was always this nagging feeling that this man would use Malik and throw him away like the First had done. Flashes of that night in the alleyway, the blood, the rain, the yells, the pain, the disturbing satisfaction from it all; Rishid couldn't stand the nightmares anymore!
He warned the Second, told him not to harm his younger brother and in a Seemed-like-a-Good-Idea-at-the-Moment fashion he described in detail just what he would do should the Second fail to heed his words. In hindsight, Rishid had been the reason that relationship crumbled to pieces in the end.
But Malik bounced back from heartbreak like it was a simple scraping of a knee, and he fell just as easily for the next male that lavished attention as he did on the first few. Over the years, the Ishtars moved to various new places, Malik grew older (though not necessarily more mature), he met new friends and was repeatedly loved and dumped alike.
And Rishid learned to tone down the over-protectiveness, for he'd watched time and time again as Malik took it all in stride and moved on to the next; like he was tasting samples from a buffet line before choose the meal he wanted to partake in 'All You Can Eat'. Malik had obviously out-grown Rishid, it was saddening at first but the older Ishtar realized that this was bound to occur when siblings grow up and that he was going to have to accept it. If anything he should feel a bit relieved that Malik had learned to fend for himself (at least with his love life).
Then why did he still feel like an animal in a cage?
Joey took another drag from his cigarette, huddle as best he could in his jacket for warmth. How bogus was it that you couldn't smoke in most bars anymore?
"Gonna freeze my ass off cause some pansies can't handle a little second hand lung cancer." He muttered to himself.
He forced a few more puffs before throwing the butt to the ground, not even bothering to stomp it out as he hurried back into the bar. Toasty warm, dimly lit, and full of drunken idiots; just how he liked it!
Joey easily shoved off the stranger who had tried to steal his seat while he had been out, saddling onto the bar stool with more elegance than anyone else in the room possessed. The blonde liked being the only sober customer there, it made him feel superior and it was far easier to rope in a half bombed bed-mates when you weren't tipsy yourself.
Rishid's entrance into the bar two hours later was like those classic western films. No one actually stopped talking or dancing, there was no piano in the corner that shrieked to a stop mid-note, and the wind didn't whistle in the background like a knife cutting through the awkwardness of the situation. No, none of that, but the two of them locked eyes and tensed as if anticipating something similar to cowboy showdown.
This place is dirty enough for tumble weed though…
Rishid moved first, nothing outrageously dramatic or showy, just a shrug of his shoulders and it was like that alone caused the noise of the room to snap back up to full volume. The blonde's tunnel vision focus on the Egyptian relaxed as the man approached him.
Joey took a moment to examine the exotic older brother of his ex; the man's whole body seemed to sag in defeat. He felt a smirk pull at his mouth as Rishid slid into a seat next to him, he was a perfect candidate, but would he dare?
"Malik send you after me?"
Rishid shook his head not looking at Joey, he made a motion to get the bar tender's attention. Joey waited until Rishid finished ordering a drink before trying again to strike up conversation.
"So…how's he doing? Your brother?"
Rishid's face hardened a bit, his dark eyes going icy. "Like you care."
"Harsh, dude. It wasn't meant to be, don't mean I didn't care for him."
Joey wondered briefly if it was a smart tactic to lie so soon in the game, Rishid hadn't even gotten his first drink into him yet.
"Malik can do better than you."
Joey nodded, "I agree."
Rishid thanked the bartender that handed him his drink and hesitated seconds before downing the thing in one massive gulp. Eyebrow raised, Joey gave a low whistle of awe. He hadn't gotten to know Rishid when he was dating Malik; they had only met once actually. But the younger Ishtar had spent many a time complaining about life and his older brother was a topic of constant complaint. Joey had gotten the picture of an uptight stoic figure, but the man in front of him didn't exactly fit that expectation.
"Rough night I take it?"
Rishid sighed, "Not that you deserve to know, but Malik spent the last few hours cursing to the heavens, demanding the gods shrivel your balls and hit you with a bus."
Joey sputtered through a laugh, utterly failing at trying to appear neutral about the topic of their earlier break up.
"I see." Joey cleared his throat, coughing a few times to conceal any stubborn chuckles that slipped past.
Rishid rolled his eyes, "Thanks to your selfish behavior, I had to endure through all the ways you awful and unfair to him…he actually made a list!"
Joey could sense that underneath the casual way Rishid had thrown that between them that there was no way he was gonna be one of Rishid's favorite people anytime soon. At least not without more booze added to the equation.
"Damn, I'm no stranger to one of Malik's rants, dude." Joey was already motioning for the bartender, "For suffering through that let me buy you a drink."
Rishid couldn't recall how it happened.
It was a blur of time and perception, and his mind was in a dense haze that refused to settle. He could make out golden strands framing the picture of perfection and honey-glazed eyes that devoured his naked being. There was shouts, feet tripping, their fingers intertwined at some point, the contrast between their skin was both fascinating and arousing. His manhood pulsed in pain and bathed in pleasure.
The last thing he remembered was the building pressure that promised sweet, ecstasy-laced release.
"You're an asshole, ya know."
"…I know."
"…"
"…"
"…as if I didn't hate myself already…"
Joey took another drag of his cigarette, held still then exhaled before turning in the bed to look at the man next to him.
"Why hate yourself-"
"When I could hate you?" Rishid refused to look at the blonde, instead he continued to glare angrily at the ceiling above him. Joey huffed, shaking his head in an exaggerated way.
"Nah, I was gonna say why waste your energy hating. Energy we could be wasting on pleasant activities." He elbowed Rishid suggestively. Rishid pulled away; disgusted.
"You're an animal!" he muttered darkly.
Joey pouted, "Look who's talking, you're the one that's itching to claw your way out here." Joey sat up and stood out of the bed, shamelessly walking the length of the room to retrieve his pants, bending over at the waist for a few seconds longer than necessary.
"The way I see it, you care too much about how Malik will see you. You've done this perfect older brother act so long that maybe you don't realize how miserable it makes you both. Malik can't stand it anymore and neither can you."
Joey wiggly into his jeans and zipped them up before turning to look at the quiet man occupying his bed.
"Malik use to call you his 'ball and chain', it was plain to anyone with eyes that he didn't like how you treated him like a child."
Rishid closed his eyes, trying very hard not to listen to what Joey was saying. Joey felt sorry for him, Rishid had probably closed his eyes to a lot of problems he was faced with, maybe that made it easier for him to deal with?
"Maybe you just haven't realized it yet…but you hate being chained to Malik just as much."
Joey, dimwitted as he generally was, hit the nail on the head. Rishid was so surprised that the blonde had managed to do so that he turned his head and gave Joey his full attention for the first time since he had woken earlier that morning.
Joey was sure there was pity in the look he gave Rishid, something he despised receiving himself but couldn't force it away when he looked at that stunned, beautiful face.
He sighed, "Maybe you should stop worrying about Malik for once…be the Rishid you want to be…"
And despite the distant urge telling him not to leave, not to be alone again, Joey force himself to exit on that note. When would God stop throwing him plot twists and finally give him a happy ending?
Rishid stared after him, his mind reeling with thought after thought after thought, all in a chaotic rapid fire mess that he couldn't possible sort through then and there. As contradictive as it seems, he couldn't have been more emotional at peace. One thing was for sure;
The last boyfriend had brought freedom.
