Standard Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me, the plot does


Rated T for mild sexual references

One Kiss

It was all I had ever wanted from him. One kiss. One simple, passionate embrace that would tell me he wasn't interested, that he couldn't feel for me what I felt for him. Love. It was the one thing I had wanted since I was sixteen, to feel his lips against my own, just once.

Little did I know, when that moment finally came, that it would change my life forever. I had only wanted one simple kiss, but what I received had sent my life spiraling in a completely different direction than what was intended. For good or bad, well, I guess I'll let you decide. . .

That day had started out as any other, but would be the day I would remember for the rest of my life. Every second, every action was burned into my memory for all eternity. I was twenty-two years old, attending college at home in Japan, and working part time as a waitress. I was working night shift that night and didn't have to be into work until four, which left the whole day at the tips of my fingers.

That was the first thing that I wondered after the whole thing blew over. I can't help but wonder what would have happened had I been working the morning shift. . .

But anyway, as I was sitting at the kitchen table in my apartment, finishing off the remnants of my breakfast and reading the newspaper, the phone rings. As luck would have it, none other than Trunks Briefs was on the opposite end, inviting me out for dinner. I could sense something in his voice, but I couldn't quite place it. But now I realize it had been a mix of frustration and anxiety. Though if you had told me that at time I wouldn't have believed you. Trunks Briefs was always cool and collected.

Anyway, I'm not going to turn down the chance to spend time with the man of my dreams, no matter what his tone of voice. I accepted and he set the time for one o'clock.

However, bells should have gone off and I should have said no, as it wasn't only his tone that should have made me wary. Sure, Trunks and I had dinner together regularly, but rarely during the week, as he worked most every day. It was Wednesday. Both the best and worst Wednesday of my life.

I may have been twenty-two, and he may have been fourteen years my senior, but there was no denying the way I felt towards him. I never admitted to him how I felt, how one of his smiles could send my heart racing and stomach flip-flopping. I was Pan Son, I never admitted my weaknesses to anyone. I was too stubborn for that. Well, until that Wednesday anyway.

Being a woman in her early twenties and still nursing a childhood crush was rather embarrassing, but as long as it remained a secret, I only needed to be embarrassed for myself. It's true that I had longed for Trunks since the ripe age of sixteen, but the fact that he was more than a decade older than me and never glanced twice in my direction held me back. I was like his little sister, and I hated it.

So, deciding that I could never get a peaceful night's sleep unless I knew that he truly didn't feel for me what I felt for him, I made it my mission when I was sixteen to gain that one delectable connection to him, the one meeting that would prove to me that he could never love me like I loved him.

A kiss.

To that day I hadn't even come close to kissing him, not within ten miles of the matter. But that day, in that moment, in that café, something clicked and I knew it was now or never.

So that morning after breakfast, my stomach in knots at the simple prospect of having lunch with the most eligible bachelor--OK, not so eligible. He had a girlfriend, a very pretty girlfriend who happened to be one of my closest friends, but that's not important right now.

I made my way to the bathroom, intent on taking a long, hot shower to wash away the apprehension I was feeling about this dinner with Trunks. I stripped down and entered the shower, allowing the hot water to cascade down my body as I thought about Trunks, about what our meeting would be like that day.

I had expected something important, or at least slightly so. But what I got was so utterly shocking that I wanted to break down and cry. In reality, I shouldn't have wanted to do any such thing. I should have been happy for him, congratulated him. But it felt like I had lost a part of me when he said those two simple words, I had to do something, had to make sure he was doing the right thing, for his sake, and for mine.

So I did the one thing I had promised myself I'd do.

When I had dragged myself out of the shower, feeling far more relaxed, it was then a matter of deciding what to wear. I chose a pair of jeans and a blouse, casual, but not too much so. I dressed, blow dried my hair, applied my make-up, then stared at my reflection in the mirror. As always, indecisive about my appearance.

I, by no means, considered myself to be pretty, maybe slightly good looking, but never pretty. I still held that boyish air I had when I was a teenager, but I had matured as a woman and my features were smooth and simple, not rough and awkward as they once had been. I never even considered myself a candidate for Trunks, especially since every woman he had bedded looked like she had just stepped out of a Playboy centerfold.

Well, on that day, my views of myself would be completely blown out of proportion and I'd be more confused than I had ever been. After all, knights in shining armor rescue princesses, not their servants.

After staring at myself with apprehension for a decent amount of time, the hour left before my lunch date was dedicated to figuring out just what could have Trunks calling me in the middle of the week. It really wasn't a huge deal, I mean, it's not like he was going to tell me that someone died. Little did he know that in telling me what was happening, he was killing me, slowly and painfully.

Well, I managed to dwindle away the remaining hour by doing a whole lot of nothing. I had paced around my apartment, finding nothing to occupy myself for more than a few seconds at a time. Finally, I made my way out of my apartment at about twenty minutes to one.

I don't quite remember what I thought about on the walk to the café, only that I thought about Trunks. In what way, I couldn't tell you, as he's so many things to me it's hard to keep my thoughts on him straight.

He's so many different things, both good and bad, but the main reason I can tolerate all of these things is the fact that I love him. As hopeless and unrequited as it seems, I love him. And that day in the café, I loved him more than I had ever loved him in my twenty-two years on this planet.

I had arrived at the café to find Trunks already there, staring down into a large mug of steaming coffee. He was nestled into the front corner of the small building, near the window. He was dressed in a suit, which was no surprise since he had most likely come from work. The briefcase which sat next to him on the floor was confirmation.

I approached him slowly, watching the way his fingers traced the edges of the porcelain cup he held. I paused when I reached his table and he looked up at me.

I'd never forget that look in his eyes. Never. It was something that I couldn't quite place, mostly because I knew he was trying to feign happiness. I knew enough about him to realize that he was torn, stuck between a rock and a harder place. It pained me to see him look so distressed, and my heart wrenched at the thought that he wouldn't have returned this feeling if our positions had been switched.

Hi, Pan, He said, and his voice betrayed the look in his eyes. It was cool and smooth, just as always.

What's wrong? I blurted, as I sat down heavily, staring at him and nearly missing the seat. He looked shocked and his eyes widened slightly as he recoiled.

We stared at each other for what seemed to me like hours, when it had only been a few seconds. It's nothing, Pan, Trunks said quickly, looking down into his cup once again, Just work, is all.

He was lying.

It wasn't hard to tell. I knew every inch of his perfectly sculpted face, and right now, he was tense, clenched jaw twitching with what I had determined to be frustration. Little did I know that he was frustrated over me. I was the cause of his pain, and just thinking about it makes my heart ache.

Trunks, drop the act and tell me what's wrong, I said softly, but my voice was tense, anxious. Trunks looked up again, this time his expression was one of bewilderment. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, lavender eyebrows knitting together.

He stared at me for a moment and I felt my heart leap into my throat. We shared another gaze before his eyes suddenly darkened and the Trunks I knew was no longer sitting across from me.

You're the problem, Pan, he said quietly. I went completely rigid in my seat as he stared me down. My insides froze and my heart shattered as his words hit me like an out of control train. However, I simply swallowed hard and narrowed my eyes as well.

Oh, well excuse me for existing, I said coldly, making to leave. But I was stopped by his hard grip on my wrist. I looked down at him, halfway out of my seat. He was half leaning over the table, eyes now pleading.

I didn't mean it like that, Pan, he said wearily, voice tense as he continued to grip my wrist with so much force my hand was beginning to go numb. Slight relief washed over me as I sat back down and he released my wrist. It was short lived however, and what Trunks said to me next was the catalyst for everything to come.

I can't help but think about how things might have been had Trunks chose to ignore what he was feeling, chose not to tell me while we were alone in that coffee shop. If things had been different I wouldn't have hurt the ones I loved. But I loved Trunks, so didn't that count for something?

I'm engaged.

Something between a whimper and a sob came from somewhere in the back of my throat, and I felt my shoulders slump. I should have been happy for him, ecstatic. After all, Marron and Trunks were two of my best friends. I should have smiled brightly and congratulated him. But my body wouldn't allow it, all I felt was pain.

Pain so harsh that I wanted to die.

I shook my head, it was the only thing I could do. I shook my head and stared at him. I was breaking down in front of him, and I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore, I was losing the only man that I had ever loved, and there was no way I was going down without a fight.

I got the surprise of a lifetime when Trunks shook his head as well, dropping his face into his hands.

That's it, Pan, he groaned, looking up at me, Us. . .this.

I stared at him, almost forgetting his statement from earlier, and realizing now that I was shaking.

You know me, Pan, the real me, he said quietly, You read me like a book, it's like I don't even need to tell you how I feel or what I'm thinking. You just know, he whispered, shaking his head again, And honestly, it scares me. But when I'm with you I feel something that I never feel when I'm with Marron. I know I love her-- My blood ran cold --but when I'm with you I feel something amazing, something that no one else can make me feel. I don't know what it is, but I can't ignore it anymore, he finished with a sigh as he stared into my eyes.

I was speechless, I couldn't say anything, my sensitized heart was pounding in my throat, so I did the only thing I could.

I left.

I left the café at a brisk walk, knowing that if I ran my knees would give way and I'd end up face down on the pavement. I was still shaking and I realized with some anger that I was on the verge of tears. A huge part of me wishes that I hadn't run away, that I had told Trunks he was being stupid, that what we had was nothing more than friendship. But realizing that I could never go back and face him, I now wish that he hadn't followed me.

But it's funny how your heart can over power your mind, how when you feel so strongly about something you can't deny it. You can't just make it go away. It's like your heart is telling you to go for it, to grasp that one last chance with both hands and never let go.

And that's exactly what I did.

I felt someone grab my shoulder and spin me around so quickly I felt dizzy. But that was what Trunks always did to me, made me feel weak in the knees.

Don't run away from me, Pan, he said sharply, almost as if he were hurt. He softened, however, as he spoke again, We need to talk.

I shook my head, knowing that it wasn't words that he and I had needed, aside from the fact that my voice had seemed to have gone on vacation. I knew that words would only have prolonged the inevitable, would have made me fight off the powerful urge that was surging through my veins. Who knows, maybe it would have calmed me down.

But now we'll never know. I did the only thing I felt I could do, what I felt was right.

I kissed him.

There in the middle of the sidewalk.

I leaned up and pressed my lips against his. The moment our skin met I felt something electric, like I had stuck my finger in an electrical socket. And I suppose Trunks felt it as well, as his hand had slid into my hair and his tongue invaded my mouth.

I felt fire and passion surge through my body as his mouth moved against my own. His lips and tongue caressed mine in a way that I hadn't thought possible as his body molded against mine like a glove. I whimpered into our kiss, sliding my arms around his neck as he pulled my body closer to his own.

For the first time in my life I felt complete, like I finally existed, like somebody finally loved me. In that moment I prayed to God that he'd never let me go, that his lips would never leave my own, that we'd stand together on that sidewalk for the rest of our lives and he would just kiss me.

Unfortunately, we both needed to breathe.

I pulled away slightly, eyes remaining closed as I had expected him to shove me away, to tell me he never wanted to see me again. He did neither, and I was suddenly aware of the people passing us as I opened my eyes.

Trunks was staring down at me, breathing heavily and caressing my lips as he exhaled. His eyes were glazed with what I translated to be passion and infatuation. He licked his lips, hand caressing my middle through the cotton material of my blouse.

Let's get out of here, he whispered, kissing me again and leading me away.

So that was the start of something beautiful, yet forbidden by my friends and family. Trunks broke off his engagement with Marron, and the blonde wouldn't do so much as look at me. My parents were livid and they still refuse to speak with me. Bulma was a little more understanding, but not as much as I had hoped. Vegeta was indifferent, as always.

So you see, I gave up everything I ever had for one kiss, the one kiss that led to a night of unforgettable passion between myself and the man I love. It was an affair at the time, but I don't regret it. He makes me whole, and I him. Without him I don't exist.

So now I lay here in the bed we share, the bed that we've made love in countless times. I think about him as he's off at work, think about the way we used to be, and wondering how I ever lived without his love.

I think about how I gave up the life I knew for the man I loved.

All for one kiss.

Last Edited: October 13, 2005