To whoever is reading this, I seriously thank you. This time, I wanted to get into something deep and twisted, but also with that sappy AkuRoku romance everyone adores even if they wont admit it. I don't own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, it all goes to the brilliant mind of Tetsuya Nomura. Warning: if you can't mentally handle gore/offensive language/touchy subjects, stray away. With that being said, enjoy. D:

Don't fret precious I'm here
Step away from the window
Go back to sleep
Safe from pain
And truth
And choice
And other poison devils

Paranoia.

I can't escape the feeling I'm being watched.

Everywhere I go, I sense a presence. Always near, but far enough to torment me into a confusion. I blink, and blink, and blink. Maybe then it will stray away. But it never does. I'm forever trapped inside a box of paranoia.

Sometimes, the presence takes for. A bloody mass of a mangled body. A swirling entity of flashing hues that takes the form of some sort of demon. It will mold into anything, in any quantity. A pack of lies.

Then the voices start. Hostile, fearful, soothing.

"They're not really your friends; you're just kept around as a source of cheap entertainment. That pen you always doodle with…it's more of a friend to you than they have ever been. Go ahead, SHOVE IT THROUGH THEIR FUCKING SKULLS! What are you hesitating for, JUST DO IT!"

"It's alright sweetie, I'll take good care of you. We all will."

For awhile, I start to believe the voices have departed. Then when things seem to be going as perfect as I can manage, I'm brought back down into my own reality as they surface yet again. I don't want to follow what they demand of me. But they snarl so viciously at me, and I begin to wince as they raise their tone. I tell my friends it was just a chill when I twitch like that. But I know the truth.

Friends, family, teachers. They all say I'm a mess. My thoughts are fragmented, constantly shifting direction, making it difficult to focus and retain anything significant. Sometimes my speech is incoherent, with slurs and breaks in the words I say. Everything is a disorganized mess, with no hope of repair.

I get shunned for my emotions. Tragedy in life makes me grin, despite the anguish I feel. It upsets me to react this way, but controlling this impulse is sadly almost impossible. When people are laughing or smiling, and the atmosphere is jovial, I shut myself out from the world I love, and it morphs into meaningless violence.

They say something is wrong with me.

These people like for me to come into their rooms and speak to them, like I'm some form of mockery to cover up their own pathetic lives. They want me to expose my thoughts and emotions to break me down even further. I despise them with every bone in my body.

"Tell me what's wrong." They say.

"I understand." They say.

They don't really understand. Hell, I can't even fathom the complexities of irregularity.

They won't "cure" me. They can't. So what's the alternative? I get shocked in a chair. Electrical pulses surge through my body in an effort to reconfigure my brain. I'm just like a child's plaything. What happens to me doesn't really hurt. Physically. I know they're all laughing inside of their minds.

I'm on so many types of pills.

See they don't give a fuck about you
Like I do