7-01-05: Finally fixed it up so that it's no longer a songfic. I need to edit the story some, though, and I have a feeling along the lines of "What the HELL was I on when I wrote this?" Not always a good feeling; I'm scaring myself quite a bit.
Surprises, surprises: the little china doll can still feel.
I had expected her to become an empty shell long before now. Perhaps I underestimated her, but she'll be broken all the same. She's still sobbing and looking around in her glass prison, sand soiling her once-perfect hair as she wonders why the strangers frolicking in the waters are laughing at her and if she even knew them in the first place.
Why do they ignore little Mai? After all, she made herself attractive just for them! Or perhaps they don't notice because the mascara is running in blood-like rivulets across her face and her lipstick is smudged and they think that she's ugly because she can't do anything right.
But why is she still crying, and then laughing, and then screaming in frustration and then crying again? Is it because even though she doesn't know she doesn't know the shadows that are below her, she wants them to care for her?
I can care for you, my dear. You need no one else.
There are times at which she pounds at the hourglass and almost wails for anybody to help her, but then stops because she knows that it'll attract me to her. That's when she stops fighting, curls up into a little ball in the sand, and weeps because this was her fault to begin with, and it was. A pretty little china doll cannot do anything more than sit and be beautiful, or else it will break. She should have known what she was.
And even when she fights and tries to break away from this harsh world that is her reality, she still has beauty. I love the defiance in her violet eyes, the way she holds herself in high respect, the masquerade of confidence that she can naturally put up around herself - and then I can watch it break and see her sob and she becomes even more radiant than before.
She never accepts that this is her life, and nobody cares about her but me. After all, I'm just trying to get her to see the actual world that she tried to deny before she finally gives up everything and dies. I mean no harm; all must live with pain, and I am pain.
But even so, she covers up the wounds and pretends that they aren't there. She thinks that it makes her look more attractive, but it just shows her cowardice. She's an ugly blemish in the world that I want to create, and because of that, I want to fix her. I want to see the blood run across her skin and hear her scream and cry some more and say only my name because I am the only one in this world that cares about her.
She's screaming again. She needs to succumb to her chains because to her, there IS no world other than this one. Stop fooling yourself, little Mai; it's getting you nowhere.
"Jounouchi! JOUNOUCHI!" She screams, wails, sobs, cries, weeps, chokes, succumbs, sleeps, and quiets down only to scream the empty word that has no meaning to her once again.
That seems to be the most common cry from her. The sand should be making her forget about him, and I'm sure that she can't even associate the name with his face, but it bothers me all the same. After all, he was the one who interrupted our Shadow Game to attempt to save the pretty china doll before she got smashed into millions of pieces.
Again and again and again and again and again...
"Jounou-"
Her eyes snap wide open and she stares at me. She trembles; a bead of sweat trickles down her face as she looks left and right wildly, looking for an escape.
"You will not say that name again in my presence. Understood?"
Her eyes harden, and defiance engulfs the doll once more. "Why does it matter? It's just a name, and - "
I tap the upper section of the hourglass with the Millennium Rod, and more sand pours down on her. Her screams are easily muffled as she writhes and tries to shake the sand off her, but the deed is done. Her eyes are now hollowed, and she looks around in confusion. "Where am I...who are you?"
I smirk. "You betrayed me, my dear."
She gapes. "For who? When? Master, I'm sorry, I'll never do it again, and -"
The glass shatters, and the sand comes pouring down. She falls down helpless into my arms, and she doesn't bother to break free because do china dolls can't feel, anyway. She sobs one name over and over again: not the name of the whining pup, but instead "Master."
We fall to the ground, and I place her on the beach. A warm breeze sails through the area and makes the palm trees sway and more white sand rise up and dirty her beyond-repair purple satin. She cries and cries and cries like the criminal she thinks herself to be and the black mascara drips down and down and down and down...
"Master, punish me."
She sits in front of me, head bowed in respect. I still can't believe how simple it was to expose the china doll once and for all so that she won't deny anything anymore. And how she sits at my every whim and command...
"Did you just order me?"
"No! No, of course not, I was just making a suggestion! After all, I did something wrong, and there are consequences to everything, aren't there?"
I chuckle. "Yes, my dear, there are." I pull out the dagger from my Millennium Rod and hand it to her. She blinks and twists it in her delicate fingers, and she frowns as if wondering what such a helpless wench such as her was doing with a dangerous weapon such as that.
She bites her lip and looks up at me. "What should I do with this?"
"Do you know why you're here with me?"
She looks at me with confusion about the change of subject, but shakes her head. "No. It's just how I've always remembered it. Is there a reason?"
"You were betrayed. In your frenzy attempt to cure loneliness, you didn't know who to trust and who not to. Because of this, you were easily taken advantage of," I state matter-of-factly.
She blinks. "But what do I matter? After all, I'm nothing but -"
I gesture toward her "friends" basking on the beach after their swim. "They're the ones who pretend to care about you. They are your enemies; they impersonate me because they're jealous. There is no way for them to repent their sins; you must kill them."
A spark of anger appears in those violet eyes, and her grip on the dagger tightens. "Anything for you, master," she utters before she goes off to avenge herself and me.
Even though it's just an illusion, I can't help but grin.
The moon hangs in the middle of the sky, casting a ghostly lantern to the shadows that once lurked here. The air is chilly right next to the shoreline, but I take no notice. The bodies are all scattered in a corner; all killed in various ways. From the Pharaoh's host to the dog to his innocent little sister, no one was spared. All were covered in the scarlet liquid that shadows aren't supposed to bleed.
"Nobody else cares about you. You have only me."
There is blood staining her skin, dripping down and down and down. Her white corset is stained with it, and her purple jacket is ripped and torn from the fight. Everything about her is more beautiful than before, from her sand-gritted hair to the look of loyalty in her eyes to the posture that she presents herself in front of me, in silent knowing that I am higher than she is. She nods in acknowledgement.
"There is no world other than this one. Hope? There is none, because there is no need for it. When I rule this world, everybody will be just like you because that's how they've always been. Understood?"
She nods again.
I'll give her another test, one that has to do with an emotion that these mortals know as "love". A stupid emotion, in my opinion, but I can't help but wonder if it left her or not.
"Do you love me?"
She blinks, confused. "What's that?"
She doesn't remember, and I find that a good thing. "It's nothing that you should concern yourself about. Do you feel anything for the blonde that you just killed?"
Her eyes harden again. "You mean the one who you said betrayed me? Of course I feel something: I feel hatred. He tried to turn me against you, Master. He deserved to die."
I smirk down at my little china doll that used to hate me. "Of course he did. Now, tell me: whom do you belong to?"
"You." It wasn't forced, but it was stated as if it was something she always knew.
I lift her chin up so that I can look into her eyes again. Before I banished her here, they were full of despair and hatred because she realized that her bravado had failed against me. Now, however, those violet pools were only filled of willingness to serve me.
"You've learned well." And with those final words, I kiss the doll that once hated me.