This is the extended version of what I wrote for the third Nick Song Fic Challenge at . The song was The Change, by Garth Brooks (who I adore!). The usual disclaimers apply, etc. and so on. Enjoy, if you care to!
Officer Nicholas P. Stokes straightened the badge on his chest as he gave himself one last look in the mirror. It had been little more than a year ago that Officer Stokes had first donned his formal uniform to be sworn in as a member of the Dallas Police Department. Even then, he knew that the next occasion on which he wore the uniform would be significant. His partner had joked that formal uniforms were for beginnings and ends – of a career, for example. Less happily, the end of a life. Before Nick left his apartment, headed for the Golden Gate Funeral Home, he thought humorlessly that Officer Daniels had been right, as usual.
Sixteen was simply too young to die and it didn't matter what the circumstances were. The kid had gone wrong in the worst way, but he'd still been a kid. It wasn't long ago that Nick himself had been sixteen.
When Nick met Brian Martin he seemed as normal as any other teenager, if in need of attention. He was smart and did well in school, having managed to avoid getting into the same trouble as his brother Richard, who was a frequent guest of the Dallas Police. But Brian's weight and general awkwardness made him an easy target for bullies at school, and he didn't have many friends. His mother was usually intoxicated, and the only other family he had was Richard.
Richard paid attention to Brian only to be self-serving. He stopped by religiously every week, firstly because it convinced his mother that he was still living there, but more importantly he brought her the drugs she used to stay high. By Richard's design, Brian didn't know that it was Richard that kept the drugs in her hands. He distracted his brother with gifts and empty promises to stay, and Brian worshipped him like a hero.
The Martins didn't live far from the police station that Nick reported into and Brian, in desperate need of money for food, rode his bike to the station to ask if they would hire him to do odd jobs. Despite the objections of Officer Daniels, Nick and some others took pity on the kid and made arrangements with friends within the department to wash cars, gather food orders, walk dogs, and occasionally work in the stable. Nick, having grown up on a ranch, knew that job best and was usually the officer who accompanied Brian.
Nick taught Brian how to muck stalls and brush horses, what to feed them and how to speak to them. He had even ridden a handful of times, while Nick had the lead. Over the months Brian seemed to gain some confidence and had even shed a few pounds. Nick got him to open up about his home life and discovered that his mother had always been the way she was. He and Richard did not know their father and Brian suspected that his mother didn't know who he was. Things had been better when their grandmother was alive and could care for them, but when Brian was twelve she had a massive stroke and died.
That was when Richard had left the house. Their mother hardly noticed his absence. He joined a gang and had been arrested three times for cocaine possession within a year. The next three passed in a similar fashion, with Richard adding breaking and entering, solicitation, and various assault and weapons charges to his rap sheet. On multiple occasions it was Nick and Officer Daniels who brought Richard in. Nick reassured Brian that his brother didn't use the drugs, but Brian expressed to Nick that he wished Richard wouldn't sell them either. The people he spent his time with made Brian nervous. Richard always carried a gun now, and that made Brian nervous too.
Nick had praised him, advised him to stay out of Richard's way, recommended community programs he could spend his time in. He knew Brian yearned for his brother's attention but hoped like hell he could provide a healthier alternative. Nick made a few phone calls to a social worker he knew, hoping Brian could be turned over to foster care, while his partner shook his head.
"Look Stokes, I know you think you're doin' a lotta good by holdin' that kid's hand, but there's a thousand more where he came from. We're here to keep a whole city safe, not save one kid."
Nick wondered if Daniels was right, but continued to help Brian in any way he could. He had to hold onto the hope that he could make a difference. It was the reason he pursued law enforcement as a career, after all – he wanted to make a difference, like so many Stokeses before him.
But all too soon, it became apparent that Nick's efforts were having little effect on Brian. Six months ago, Richard sent a few of his colleagues to make a late night sales call to Mrs. Martin. Brian had been infuriated to know that it was Richard that kept her supplied and threatened to turn him in, but Richard had held sway over Brian by reminding him that they were brothers. Unfortunately for Brian, Richard knew that he was loyal and that he loved his brother. Richard swore he'd keep Brian safe, swore he'd provide for Brian, put clothes on his back and food in his belly.
Brian stopped appearing at the station, and it wasn't long after Nick first noticed his absence that he saw Brian walking with Richard down a residential street, where he and Daniels had answered a domestic disturbance call. As the two officers exited the house, Nick turned to his right and spotted the brothers walking shoulder to shoulder.
"Hey, Brian," greeted Nick, confusion in his voice. "Haven't seen you around the station for a while. Where ya been, buddy? The horses miss you."
Brian just looked back at Nick and made no reply. Nick could see fear and guilt in his eyes, and it made him nervous to realize that he didn't know whether Brian was afraid of Richard, or of Nick himself.
"My boy don't shovel shit no more," replied Richard threateningly.
Nick put his hand on his holstered gun, knowing Richard always carried one, too. "I'm just havin' a conversation here, Richard," he replied in a calm voice. Then he turned back to Brian. "Where've you been?"
"With my brother," he replied, tilting up his chin in defiance that Nick knew he didn't feel, "and some new friends."
Upset, Nick shook his head. "No, no, no . . . these guys aren't your friends, Brian," he said. "We've talked about this . . . c'mon, why don't you let me and Officer Daniels get you home?"
"No," replied Brian coldly. "I gots my brother. I don't need nothin' else." And Brian and Richard walked away, leaving a confused Officer Stokes gaping after him, wondering if he should push or try another way to get Brian away from his brother.
"Stupid kid." It was Officer Daniels' voice.
Nick turned back toward the car. "He's not stupid . . . he just wants his brother's attention."
"I'm talkin' about you, Stokes," snapped Daniels. "Don't you get it yet? It don't matter what you do. Kids like him are always gonna go wrong. It's hard-wired when they're little, sittin' in their high chairs watchin' their mommas shootin' smack and smokin' weed and snortin' blow. You ain't gonna change that. Don't matter what you do."
"That's a really cold thing to say," replied Nick, his dander up.
"It's a really true thing to say," said Daniels, his tone softer now. Then the radio went off again, and he and Nick were on their way to answer another call. "We ain't got time to change the world."
But four nights ago, for Brian, the world had changed. Nick could still smell the iron in the air when he had entered Brian's mother's house. She was in handcuffs, so high she had to be restrained by two burly officers. She said nothing that made any sense and had no idea that she'd just killed her son. When the paramedics pronounced him dead, Nick waited in silence for the coroner and CSIs to arrive, a bit dazed and very angry.
When the body had been removed, Officer Daniels looked at his young partner. "C'mon, Stokes. Let's go."
Nick looked up at him his jaw set and his eyes steely. "I want his brother."
Daniels sighed. "Stokes . . . he didn't have nothin' to do with this. It was the kid's ma – no question. First officers saw her standin' over him with the gun and no one else around."
"I want his brother," Nick insisted, his nostrils flaring.
"All right," replied Daniels. "Okay. But you let the coroner do his job and notify. I'll have him send the brother to the station."
Forced to be satisfied with this course of action, Nick followed Officer Daniels out of the house and back to the cruiser. The rest of his shift was not pleasant.
Now, dressed somberly in his formal uniform, he entered the funeral home, straightening the cuffs of his jacket for what felt like the fifteenth time. He had been disappointed to find the parking lot all but empty. Officer Daniels chose not to accompany him. Nick had posted the information about the service at the station, but few officers asked about it.
When he entered the sitting room, Nick was greeted by a tall, slender young woman. She smiled sadly as he approached. "Hello," she said in greeting.
Nick removed his cap and nodded politely. "Howdy, ma'am . . . I'm Officer Stokes. Are you with the funeral home?"
"No," she replied, her soft voice solemn. "I'm Richard and Brian's sister. My name's Maggie."
"I didn't know the boys had a sister."
Tears welled in her eyes. "They didn't know either," she replied. "I'm a half sister, actually . . . we have the same mother. My parents divorced when I was three. My dad says she wouldn't quit drinking so he left her and took me along . . . he figured that way, she'd clean up." Maggie paused and looked away. "Guess he was wrong about that."
"I'm sorry," offered Nick.
"Thank you, sir," she replied, wiping a tear away. "I'm sorry for blubbering like this. It's just so hard to imagine, you know? Twin brothers, and I didn't know . . . and now one of them's gone."
Nick nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry for your loss," he said quietly, the first time he would utter those words. Little did he know that on the path he was taking, he would utter them many, many more times.
Maggie nodded and let out a breath. "Me too."
Neither of them knew what to say next, so Nick cleared his throat and said, "Can you . . . can you direct me to where I might find Brian?"
"He's, uh . . . he's just in there," she said, gesturing toward the room that housed the casket. Nick thanked her and squeezed her upper arm. He was about to walk away when she said, "Officer?"
Nick turned back to her, eyebrows raised. "Yes ma'am?"
"There won't be a lot of people who come today . . . will there?"
The young officer looked away for a minute, sighing. "No, ma'am . . . I'm afraid there won't be."
Maggie nodded in resignation, and then smiled sadly again. "I see." Nick turned and proceeded into the parlor.
There were several neat rows of chairs set facing the casket. A single floral arrangement had been placed next to it, and Nick knew that if he looked at the card he'd find his own name. In the front row of chairs a lone figure sat in a suit that was too big for him. Nick sat down next to him. A strained silence reigned in the modest room, until the twin of the young man in the casket spoke.
"You shouldn't have come."
"I wanted to," replied Nick.
"Why?" he questioned.
Nick turned, and with a heart full of gratitude and sorrow looked over the boy next to him. "Because I care about you, Brian."
Brian turned away. "You're glad he's dead."
"I'm glad he didn't send you to see your mom," replied Nick. "I'm not glad he's dead. He was your brother and you loved him and I'm sorry he's gone."
"Bullshit," was all Brian had to say in reply.
"If I didn't care, would I be here?"
Brian looked hard at Nick for a long moment. He didn't speak, so Nick continued. "Everyone deserves things like compassion and mercy . . . everyone deserves a chance at a good life, even if they make mistakes. I'm not going to let anyone, not even you, tell me that's not true. It's not pointless to care, even in a crazy world like this."
"Why are you here?" whispered Brian, really wanting to know.
Thinking of Officer Daniels, Nick smiled sadly. "To prove that the madness of the world isn't going to change me. To help you understand, Brian, that it doesn't have to change you, either."
Brian turned to give the man next to him an almost incredulous glare. "You see the world anywhere around here?"
Nick sighed and almost conceded that Brian was right, but a flash of blue caught his eye, and he turned to look behind him. A tidal wave of formally-attired Dallas Police Officers was sweeping into the room, patiently waiting for Nick and Brian to finish speaking.
"I don't see the world," said Nick, "but I do see a lot of people who are willing to support you and make sure you get to where you're goin'."
Brian looked behind him and stood, awe creeping over his features. Then the officers began to approach Brian to offer their condolences for his brother. During the brief service, Nick sat next to Brian, and was heartened to see that Brian and Maggie held hands. Afterwards, Nick introduced Maggie to some of the officers to whom Brian had been close.
Once the gathered mourners had gone, Nick chatted a little more with Brian and Maggie.
"Brian's going to try staying with me a while," she told Nick. "My dad and I share an apartment . . . it's not much, but we've got room for him."
Nick smiled at Maggie. "That sounds nice," he replied. "I'm glad."
"Thank you so much for coming, Officer Stokes," said Maggie, and she shook his hand. "I'll need to wrap things up here with the staff." She smiled one more time at him, and walked away.
Once she was gone, Nick smiled at Brian. "Life's gonna be a lot different for you," he said.
"I know," replied Brian. "Ain't much I can do though. Just lucky she'll take me, 'cause otherwise it'd be a foster home."
Nick nodded. "That's right. I know you don't know her, and I'm gonna guess her dad's gonna be tough gettin' used to, but just remember they're all you got. You gotta take care of that."
Brian nodded. "Yes, sir," he replied. "Officer Stokes . . . I don't know how to say I'm sorry, or thank you, or . . ." His voice faded and trailed off, and he looked away.
"It's all right, Brian," Nick replied quietly. "Hey, listen. . . . Saturday morning, why don't you have Maggie bring you down to the stables?"
Brian looked up at Nick, and although the sorrow was still etched into his young features, he seemed to brighten a little. "Yeah . . . yeah, okay. I'd like that a lot."
Nick pulled his cap back on and straightened. "Eight AM, now," he warned. "Don't be late. Horses get ornery if they ain't fed."
The young man chuckled. "All right – I'll see you at eight on Saturday."
"Sharp?"
"Sharp."
"All right," said Nick with a nod. "See you then."
"Thanks, Officer." The two of them each raised a hand as a parting salute, and Nick's heart felt much lighter as he walked away. And then a thought crossed his mind, and with his hand on the handle of the parlor door, he turned. "Hey, Bry?"
Brian's head snapped up, and he met the officer's eyes. "Yes, sir?"
"Call me Nick."
A genuine smile seeped across Brian's face. "Nick," he repeated. "Sure."
Nick could already hear Officer Daniels' voice in his head as he walked to his truck. One hand . . . one lost soul. What good does it do to save just one?
Maybe he would only ever be able to save Brian. Maybe there wouldn't be any other life he could touch in that way. But at least it was one. At least Brian wasn't lost.
(c) 2009 J. H. Thompson
PS - If you liked this, check out some of the other stories that were submitted for the challenge. SmokeyTV, Seshat3 and But A Chance have all submitted theirs so far.