"Geez Erza, calm down. He was only tryi-"

"SHUT UP! WHY ARE YOU ON HIS SIDE?"

My esteemed roommate Erza was royally ticked at her boyfriend Jellal. He had made a supposedly insensitive comment about her love for strawberry cake, which obviously greatly offended her. As a result, she went psycho demon on him. Levy (my other roommate) and I were trying to tame the beast, but clearly to no avail. All of this happened whilst the boyfriend in question was hiding away, safe from harm, in my bedroom. I amaze even myself with my saintly hospitality. Thanks to me, she was insulting a pillar instead of him, and punching the crap out of a sofa instead of him.

"Hey,Levy-chan. Call an escort for the stow away, if you know what I mean", I whispered in her ear. She nodded, and tiptoed to her bedroom. A few moments later, she came creeping back.

"Who did you call?" I asked curiously.

"Why, Gray-kun, of course"

.

.

.

"YOU DID WHAT!"

"Hey, do you hate Gray so much"

"Simple. He's a perverted, reckless popsicle and a foolish playboy. Who would like that snow cone?"

"I see... But didn't you used to li-"

"Urusai! I never thought such vulgar thoughts. I will say now what will remain true forever- I. Hate. Gray. Fullbuster. Okay?"

"Whatever, denial much?"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, YOU BAKA!"

"LEVY! UURGH, YOU KNOW I HATE HIM! DO YOU HAVE A SCREW LOOSE!?" Now,suddenly, everyone's attention shifted to me.

"Who?" Jellal enquired, peeking his head round the corner, as if asking God to grant his death wish. Not only was this foolish, but also detrimental to his physical (and mental) health.

"SERIOUSLY, WHO DO YOU THINK? THE SAME PERSON THAT I'M ALWAYS VEXED AND COMPLAINING ABOUT! BESIDES, YOU SHOULD BE HIDING. THE DEMON WILL KILL YOU!" After my rant was over, I saw that Erza was staring straight at Jellal. I gulped as she took a step towards him. One. Two. Three. Jellal inched back at every one of these suspenseful strides. Then, disaster struck him like a wall- a placed one hand by his head. Levy and I braced ourselves. She leant forwards. And kissed him. He was shocked at first, but then started to kiss back. I was shocked, but relieved.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it then", Levy said, trying to attempt a futile escape. I grabbed her blue tufts, and stunted her motion towards freedom.

"Oh nonononono. You called my nemesis on PURPOSE, for now no reason. You will be lucky to walk away with your life." I said, annoyance cleary evident in my tone. My revenge plan, however, was interrupted by a fatally present noise- the doorbell. I death-glared at Levy, a dark aura seeping out of my body like a waterfall. Levy was shaking in her bandana. Even the Jerza team looked up at me, intervening their make-up session. Cleary,I was beyond pissed. I had been thrown over the edge like a lemming, and was floating in a sea of hatred.

"Don't move. He'll leave."

"Oh, Gray. Fancy seeing you here" Oh crap. I forgot about her. The one other Inhabitant of this apartment- Mirajane.