Just to note, the events in this story occur in an alternate universe, somewhere towards the end of the third Bleach movie Fade to Black.
Something I always wanted to write, and finally figured out how to, though as a one-shot, it is still slightly too long.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, but this story is my own.
As She Fades to Black
Part 1.
A Stranger Comes to Visit
1.
An afternoon sun basked the garden in a warm glow, and the snow on the flowerbeds was starting to melt.
Seeing droplets of water fall from the icicles lining the roof, the woman believed for a moment that it was raining. She glanced up and, taking in the cloudless sky, turned back to face the boy standing beside her.
He had been talking to her about her past.
Stealthily, he had entered her house, cut across the shadowy hallway and found her in a room on the far west side of the dwelling.
As soon as she felt that unfamiliar presence racing closer towards her, her hand instinctively reached for her Zanpaktou. She was not accustomed to slaying enemies inside her own house, but her fingers eagerly grasped the handle and steadily drew it out from its scabbard. The four-word incantation and name of her Zanpakto was already burning on the tip of her tongue, ready to burst from her mouth when he arrived.
When the door finally flew open, the woman recognized the intruder immediately. Orange spiky hair, serious eyes shining with resolve, full black Shinigami robes, and wielding an over-sized kitchen knife. The hollow mask was nowhere to be seen, but she'd been told that it only appeared during the heat of battle, lending the wearer a boost of immense and inhuman power that would carry him until the end of the fight.
He was panting, sweating as if he'd just ran a marathon. She watched him closely. There was something in his eyes, a certain sadness, as though he had terrible news to deliver. She immediately thought of her husband who had clashed with the boy once before. At the time no victor had been determined; Renji had returned home more confused than upset, unwilling to talk he headed straight for the old 6th division barracks where he pulled Rikichi out of training, and asked a team of his best fighters to join his search for the ryoka.
After taking most of the afternoon to cool his head, running from the Red Hollow Gate to the White Way Gate, pouncing from wall to wall to get his blood flowing and to sharpen his mind and perception; once he was able to attach his own insight and understanding to the situation, Renji returned to her in the evening, sat down beside her and poured a saucer of warm sake for the two of them. They downed the contents of six porcelain bottles, joked, and blabbed for hours revisiting old memories.
Night fell, only then did Renji begin talking about what was bothering him.
Seeing the ryoka boy for the first time, she couldn't believe that this kid had survived a direct attack from Captain Komamura, let alone achieved bankai himself. His reitsu was overwhelming, she had to admit, greater than her own undoubtedly, potentially even a match to that of her captain. But where had he come from? How is it possible that she had not come across someone of his strength and ability before? Her mind immediately thought of Ikkaku who always dreamed of meeting an opponent with the boy's power, pictured the exhilarated thrill in Ikkaku's eyes if he was in her position right now, the way he'd lick his lips like a hungry snake ready to pounce on its prey. What he wouldn't give to go up against someone like him, she thought... The least she could give him was the satisfaction of the details of how she defeated the ryoka.
Feeling her heart pound excitedly, she drew out her katana and slid her right foot forward. Her mind trembled as she calculated possible moves, sized up his reitsu and pondered whether the immense size of his zanpaktou's blade was a sign of his potential but his lack of skill in controlling that awesome power, while her hand remained firm on Kuritonbo's handle. She was about to tell the boy her name, her rank, that before marrying into the 6th division she was a seated officer of the 11th, and had once belonged to that group of warriors who fought without fear or holding back, who only accepted victory, as defeat meant the same thing as death. She didn't want to cause him harm, but if he insisted on fighting, all her nature, all that's in her blood will undoubtedly force her to defeat him and she would feel no remorse, even if it meant killing him.
But the ryoka was the first to speak.
"Don't," the boy said, interrupting her thoughts as he finally regained his breath and stood up straight. "I don't want to fight. You're her, aren't you? This is where he lives?"
She watched the boy closely and waited wordlessly for him to say more, refusing to back down from her offensive stance or to lower her blade.
Ichigo looked sadly at her. He never expected that the truth would simply leap out of his mouth, but he never believed that he'd be overwhelmed by this feeling of guilt and sadness. Now the words stuck to his throat and he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth...Once everyone remembered Rukia, she will vanish from Soul Society. The world will return to the way it was before, and she will fade away along with everything else in this transient, alternate reality.
It wasn't only as a courtesy to Renji that he came to visit her. His own heart told him it was wrong to let her simply disappear without giving her a reasonable explanation, or warning her of what was to come. This woman was important to Renji, and he felt this was evident, because out of all people she became the one to take Rukia's place in his heart.
But now, standing in front of her, for reasons he could not explain, the truth was much harder to translate than he had imagined.
It didn't help that she refused to listen to him.
Clutching the handle of her Zanpakto in both hands, Yanagi glared at him. He had been on the receiving end of many glares in the past, and in her eyes he caught a glimpse of Rukia's coldness, Ikkaku's desire to win, Renji's contemptuousness and his own determination, his own resolve...
"Renji said you know Bankai. Why wasn't Renji able to kill a kid like you? How could you fight against Komamura and survive?" She ran the palm of her hand over the cool blade which emitted a cold purple glow. "Ikkaku will be so jealous. Do you know how long he's been searching for an opponent as powerful as you? He's been dying of hunger for nearly a hundreds years...Craving for a truly satisfying fight with someone whose abilities are worthy...I wonder if you'd be a match for him? Can you defeat him? Whatever it takes, I have to beat you, just for the satisfaction of seeing the look on his face, the thrill in his eyes when I describe each time I dodged your attack, each time I cut into you, or felt your blade slice through my flesh..."
But fighting and spilling blood was the very last thing on Ichigo's mind. He quickly raised his own blade, but only to defend his body from being pierced by a rain of knives that hurtled towards him aiming for his heart. All of them missed, but a stray one cut across his eyebrow that sent a stream of hot blood gushing down past the corner of his eye, and another ripped through the bicep of his left arm.
Her stamina and agility surprised him. What he saw and felt were the power of fifty blades pounding against his zanpakuto - when he wiped the blood from his eyes, and saw clearly after the dizziness in his head faded - were only four small silver knives, slender and sharp. She held two in each hand.
Yet his mind buzzed with thoughts and questions such as what should I say to her? How do I tell her?
She lunged him again with her teeth bared. He pulled his sword in front of his body and deflected the two knives hurtling for this chest. Quickly he twisted his wrist, and in a split second, swept his zanpakuto to the left and right sides of his body, easily saving both his ears from being hashed off by the remaining two.
"Come and fight back!" she yelled at him. "Fight with your true power!"
What did he ever do to make her so angry? He fumed as he blocked two more direct attacks from Yanagi, doing his best to keep her at a distance and leave her unscathed.
But then Zangetsu was getting a bit scratched up. Ichigo was starting to feel he had had enough. He couldn't let things drag on like this.
"Listen to me!" he shouted sternly, trying desperately for a peaceful end one last time. "Don't... I didn't come here to fight you! I need to tell you something very important! Soul society is..."
Again, he raised his sword to block the onslaught of blades raining down on him like purple hail.
His scandals gripped the floor, steadily he came to a standstill on the mat, and he tightened his hold on Zangetsu. Okay...you asked for it, he thought, and Ichigo narrowed his eyes and took aim.
"Getsuga Tenshou!"
The force of Zangetsu's attack propelled her backwards and sent her hurtling through the air. The house shook and the roof caved in, ceramic tiles from the roof smashed down to the floor. By a stroke of luck she was able to dodge the attack but instead crashed into the far wall. The force of the attack sent books flying in all directions, and all came raining down on top of her.
Ichigo rushed to the other side of the room where broken pieces of the roof and the walls lay in a morbid heap, with Yanagi buried at the very bottom. Yet before he could get there a deep cry rang in his ears and he raised his arms to shield his eyes from the blinding crimson glow exploding from the smoking pile.
"Hado 31...Shakkaho!"
The mound of books, broken wood, and smashed tiles flew apart, and Yanagi stood up from the ruins. She patted off the dust on her robe and hair, and returned to face him, composed, almost entirely unscathed.
Seeing that she wasn't her, Ichigo sighed, relieved. She looked annoyed as ever, but perhaps now she's ready to listen to reason, he thought naively.
"Listen to me, Yanagi-san," he uttered, tightening his fists. "You're going to disappear. Right at this moment Renji's starting to remember Rukia. Very soon he'll remember that this is not the world that he belongs to. That this life is only temporary and it's going to vanish when things return to normal. And you...you don't exist in our world. I came here to warn you that you're going to disappear...And he's going to lose his memories of you..."
"You've completely lost your mind..." the woman shook her head in disbelief. "What you're saying is completely insane... I've known Renji ever since we were kids. We trained together at the shino academy, entered soul society together, and slaved away in the 11th division fighting alongside those two crazies ('baldy' and 'narcissa') and Captain Zaraki, for more than fifty years. And...and... just last fall, in front of everyone we know, we promised to spend the rest of our lives together! How dare you say that this world is a lie? How could Renji possibly forget about me..." Gradually she stopped yelling. On second thought it was probably a trick of the wind but for a moment there the boy believed he heard her voice quiver. If only he could have noticed...at the corner of those eyes glaring menacingly back at Ichigo, was a small puddle of tears threatening to tumble to the ground...
But he did notice a certain glint in her eyes. Something about it troubled him. But before he could figure out what that was, the earth started to shake violently. Instinctively Ichigo bent his knees, clenched Zangetsu's hilt, and braced himself for the worst.
"Hyomen tekina!"
This time his eyes did not trick him. A giant dragon made out of hundreds of shiny steel blades rose from the ground. Ichigo gaped at its immense size as the dragon stretched it neck and lifted it's head higher and higher above the Abarai's now non-existent roof.
"This is your...Bankai?"
"No," she answered sternly.
Ichigo shivered as he looked at it's glowing red eyes. The reitsu this gigantic beast was emitting was so overpowering that he felt his legs start to buckle. His feet start to slide away in retreat. By looking at her she didn't look like someone who had achieved Bankai. But this monster's spiritual power, as well as its size, could have easily matched that of Komamura's armored giant. How could it be?
But soon, the answer became clear to Ichigo.
So that's how it is...He thought and a knowing grin crept up to his face. I guess there's no other way around it then. You pushed me to my limit Yanagi! I have to do this to bring an end to this meaningless fight!
Hoping that his instinct was telling him the truth, Ichigo closed his eyes. In the semi-darkness, thwarted only by the sunlight flooding in from the damaged roof, he listened to the whistle of the knives speeding through the air, and waited for his chance to reveal itself to him.
The metal dragon roared, opened its mouth and charged towards Ichigo. The moment its snout collided with ichigo's sword, the beast broke into a million sparkling pieces. One particular sharp fragment shaved past and left a light cut on his left cheek. Suddenly Ichigo opened his eyes. The dragon had disintegrated and before his eyes a thousand red dragonflies swarmed around him beating their glassy wings wildly.
Out of the corner of his eyes, among the bustling mass of insects, he noticed Yanagi running towards him, a knife in her tightly clenched fist. Just as his instinct had told him. Ichigo thought as he grinned contentedly, relieved, as he watched her hand fly up ready to come crashing down straight for his heart...
Just when the tip of the blade was an inch away from his chest, Ichigo frowned at last, his eyes showing determination, and against all reason, he lowered his sword...
The enemy was suddenly vulnerable, entirely exposed.
But in the face of this long hoped for opportunity, Yanagi's eyes widened with fear and bewilderment. What was this...A miscalculation? A ruse? Unable to reach a conclusion, Yanagi leapt back until her fingers touched the wall at the far side of the room.
"I thought so...The way you fight...You know Ikkaku? You won't turn your back on the enemy, you won't fight when they've dropped their defenses...And the esctasy in your voice when you talk about fighting..." he panted, allowing sweat to roll freely down his face as the smile of a kid who had scored the winning goal glowed on his face.
"You! Why did you..."
"I told you. I won't fight you. You can cut me all you want and still I won't raise Zangetsu against you. As long as you let me finish what I have to say..."
Without warning, as if wanting to affirm the truth in his words, Yanagi hurled her knives at him.
He didn't even dodge. One hit his shoulder blade. Another skimmed dangerously close to his throat and became lodged inside the wall. The third knife soared over his head and a handful of orange hair drifted slowly down to the floor. Ichigo lifted his free hand to check the bleeding on his neck. He cringed slightly as he plucked the knife from his shoulder and let it fall to the ground with a dull clatter.
"Go ahead," he sighed. "You've got one more..."
But Yanagi squeezed the handle of the fourth and last knife and it quickly dissolved into a mist of light purple reitsu.
"You said I'm going to disappear. Just like that? I never existed. Is that it?" Her voice suddenly turned tired, and she sounded defeated.
Ichigo nodded.
"And Rukia, who is this woman?"
"Renji met her when they were children."
"And he's known her for his entire life in the world you're from?"
"They entered the Shino Academy together as students. Together they decided as they were standing by their old friends' graves that they could not continue living in Inuzuri..."
"And she's important to him? She is the most important person to him?"
Yes was the easiest answer, but somehow Ichigo couldn't bring himself to say just that...
"They've always been very close. But they lost touch for a while when the Kuchiki clan adopted Rukia... but Renji didn't forget about Rukia as he still cherished the memories of their childhood. He vowed to grow stronger so he could close the gap between them. When Rukia was almost executed for lending her power to me, Renji trained for three days straight, barely eating and sleeping, to learn Bankai so he could battle Kuchiki Byakuya face to face and convince him to save Rukia's life...
"I'm very sorry. But it has to happen. Renji needs to remember he knows Bankai, so together we can save Soul Society and return it to its former self. We can save this world, free Kenpachi, restore Kurotsuchi and everyone else's memories...
"For that to happen Renji has to remember Rukia..."
"I'm very sorry about your house."
"Forget about it. The 'Kurin' squad's got geniuses who can fix trivial damages such as these in a heartbeat."
Ichigo looked down at the blood flowing down her arm and dripping off her fingertips. Red blood, like everyone else's.
"Wait here, I'll go get Hanatarou to come take a look at your injuries."
It was only then that Yanagi noticed her black robe was drenched in blood and the smell that was waltzing morbidly through the air. She had been too focused on the fight to realize she was hurt. That was always her bad habit and the Shinigami of the 4th division always hated that about her. Once she fainted in the middle of a training session with Ikkaku. They had been fighting for two hours straight. The worst pair to duel against each other as both of them were equally stubborn and neither person could endure the shame of backing down and admitting defeat. It was only after Renji returned to the training barracks, his eyes widening in disbelief and terror as he saw his two friends trying to tear each other apart, and yelled at them to stop that she noticed she had lost a whole barrel of blood. Hearing Renji's panicking voice and finally seeing the blood flow from her body, she instantly felt her vision deteriorating. Her arms grew limp, her sword clattered to the ground, her knees buckled. Darkness surrounded her before she even hit the ground.
But as the boy said, she never existed. So how could those memories have taken place? She never fought against Ikkaku, never got drunk with Ikkaku, Rangiku-san and Hisagi Shuuhei. She never met Renji, never grew up with Renji, never married Renji...Renji...who probably never called out her name with such fear and worry in his voice...
In short she had never lived, never played a significant part in anyone's life. Even this blood was probably fake. This body too...She was losing so much blood yet her vision and mind were clear like the cloudless sky above her. Her legs did not shake and her grip on Kuritonbo was as firm as ever. She could not recall this ever happening before. Was the fact that she felt this way after he had spilled the truth of her existence to her merely a coincidence, or was this really evidence proving everything he told her was true?
She glanced outside briefly. Finally snow had started to melt. The melting icicles hanging from what was left of her roof made it look like it had started to rain.
"I'm coming with you, Ichigo. I'll consider myself lucky if I meet someone from the 4th on the way. If not, I'm feeling fine, not light-headed or anything, for better or worse, I think I'm fine..."
"What?! Who is the idiot now?! You've lost an insane amount of blood! At this rate you're going to kill yourself if you keep at it!"
"I'm not staying behind while you save the world! Anyway Renji and everyone I know will be there too...I demand my share of the fun too! Why should you always be the hero?!"
"I knew it, just tell me, you must know Ikkaku...More than friends by the looks of it..."
"Compare me to that bald monkey again and I'll..."
Ichigo grinned back at her like an old friend.
"You ready?"
Together the orange-haired shinigami and the woman who would soon cease to exist kicked their heels against the dust and vanished in an instant, leaving behind them the Abarai house that stood alone in ruins beneath the basking sun, surrounded by snow that was already starting to fade away.
2.
After the battle was won; when the clouds cleared, the rain stopped and Rukia's tears dried, Yanagi finally saw a chance to take a look at this woman whose existence was meant to replace her own.
The Rukia who stood before her was not the same Rukia Yanagi had imagined. To be honest Yanagi wasn't even sure what she was expecting, and anyway, it's not like it would have made anything better. What difference would there be if Rukia was taller, if her hair was longer, or if...This was the woman who her husband and the ryoka were risking their lives to protect. And she was real. She belonged to their world while Yanagi didn't. She was the person Renji truly cared for and Yanagi had only ever been a replacement...
Her only source of comfort was that she had never lied to herself.
She had fallen in love and she had been true to those feelings, she had cared for some people and she had fought hard to protect them, sometimes putting her own life on the line so no one could hurt them, so they wouldn't disappear.
Replacement or not, she had existed in this reality, and by existing she had played some part in molding it the way it had become. She had existed in this world, this world where she lived and fought and drank and laughed with her friends and with the man she loved. Together with her friends she had made some difference to this world, and most importantly she had experienced the time they spent together wholly and completely...
In a way, Yanagi felt confronting what was to come was similar to confronting death.
She was saddened by the thought of leaving, and the further thought that no one would remember her drove her to a darker realm of despair.
Urahara stepped close and squeezed her shoulder. She turned her head, meeting his eyes that suddenly filled with sympathy.
" It's going to take some time for everyone to fully regain their memories..." he said kindly, "if you want to say something to someone, this is your last chance." Feeling that some dark thought was holding her back, he added gently, "And don't think you don't matter because of what Ichigo told you. Before that time arrives they will still remember everything about you. You are still you and this is still the world that you've always known. Before that happens, before they remember Rukia, here is and has always been where you belong..."
3.
She tiptoed out onto the wooden veranda and round him sitting in the shadows cast by the setting sun. Silently Ikkaku rolled his eyes. What was she trying to accomplish - sneaking into his room like that? The woman was terrible as usual at hiding her reitsu, and contrary to what she must think, Ikkaku was not as idiotic as he appeared. He sighed lightly, but realistically he was never one to beat around the bush.
"Hyomen tekina..." he raised his voice sharply just before she could softly slide the door shut. Ikkaku grinned devilishly as behind him the not-so-secret intruder jumped up in surprise. He could feel her eyes glaring holes into the back of his head. Utterly unfazed though, he continued: "Ichigo saw right through the trick, didn't he?" she frowned as she noticed the all too familiar mocking tone in his voice.
"What trick?" she retorted stubbornly.
"Don't play coy," Ikkaku grunted, "The one where you use Kuritonbo's special ability...What's it called again? Anyway, it only tricks the enemy into thinking that it carries an immense amount of power. In truth you've only borrowed the reitsu from the atmosphere around you. It's an amusing trick and it did you good at times...but Ichigo must have realized it and realized that you have no way of mastering and manipulating that power as your own...He must have felt that the huge dragon had to be a diversion for someone else more dangerous..."
She sighed loudly, cutting him short as she plopped down beside him. "How'd you know I used that ability...?"
"That enormous amount of reitsu concentrated in one area of Soul Society...Are you really stupid enough to think it would go unnoticed? Even someone with absolutely no spiritual power wouldn't be so blind that they would not see Godzilla looming over Seireitei...At a point it got larger than Komamura's Bankai! You really think we would have missed it?"
But Yanagi was not listening to him. Incredulous that she ignored his question Ikkaku turned around, ready to scold and bicker, but only to see a wallop of fat tears rolling down her eyes.
"We married last fall when the leaves were just beginning to turn red. You were there and you watched as we exchanged our vows..." she sobbed, choking on her own misery.
Unsure of what to do Ikkaku replied in his usual spiteful and insensitive manner: "Do you really have to remind me of it? It was the most boring day of my life. Nothing but music, dancing, that sort of crap...there was a lot of talking too come to think of it, nope sorry I can't remember any of it...You exchanged rings and kissed at sunset and I drank sake 'til I blacked out. Come to think of it that way, it was a pretty good day. You've got great taste in drink as a couple, I'll give you that!" he exclaimed with a self-satisfied grin.
"What about my memories. Everything I've been through, with you guys, with Renji...Don't they matter anymore? Is that all I am then? A replacement? A bottle-stopper to prevent something terrible from happening to soul society? Does he think that's all I'm good for?Coming to my house, no destroying my house to tell me that I don't exist? Who does he think he is?!
He stuck his little finger in his ear and began rummaging about for some kind of buried treasure.
"You didn't ask him to elaborate on that?" He suggested halfheartedly.
There was a time, years ago, when Yanagi would not have easily forgiven him for using such a condescending tone. Yet Ikkaku still cringed at the memory of those times her palm came crashing down like a lethal fly-swatter onto the back of his neck.
He reached for his own bottle of sake and slid it over to her side. She welcomed it like an old friend into the palm of her hand.
"What would he know? He came here only to save Rukia, to see her again... What would he know about me?" She gulped.
The sake was helping, her tears were starting to subside. Taking another swig of the cool drink Yanagi sniffed and looked to Ikkaku, her eyes were red from crying.
"Hey...what do you think Ikkaku? Do you think I'm not real? When you look back on all these years we've known each other, do you question whether everything we've been through together is real?"
"What have we been through?"
"Don't scare me like that, idiot! Why are you going all philosophical on me now of all times?!"
"No," he scratched his shiny head. When dust got caught in his fingernails, he dug it out with his thumb and he blew it away. It was a disgusting sight that Yanagi once cringed at the sight of. But she was so used to it now that she no longer gave it a second thought.
"If you're going to disappear and Ichigo already said that there's nothing we can do, I don't think there's anything we can do..."
Kneeling just outside the room; with his ear flattened against the closed shoji doors, Yumichika almost choked as he caught Ikkaku saying this. "When did you become such a defeatist Ikkaku?!" He whispered warily in disbelief. "How could you just give up like that? I don't recognize you anymore, Ikkaku!" Yumichika was so upset that he tore his ear from the paper sliding door, turned around and broke away at an alarming speed. It is unclear where he dashed off to, but certainly h
"But even if the situation is hopeless and there's nothing we can do to fix it, maybe if you tell me the whole story again, I'll remember you, us...Maybe I'll remember you, and all we've been through together, even if nobody else does..."
"Are you crazy Ikkaku? Aren't you going to do something? I just told you I'm going to disappear for crying out loud, and the only solution you can come up with is for me to recite our entire history to you?!" She got to her feet and marched angrily away from him. "And you're just gonna sit back and let this cruel thing happen to me? you idiot! If you're not gonna help me I'll find someone else who will!"
Quite delirious, and completely unable to believe that he would not help her, she stormed away in protest and made sure the door slammed shut with an extra loud thud.
Alone, Ikkaku stared off into the distance. He sat still - not stirring from the spot as he watched patiently for the last remaining rays of light to disappear from the sky. Every few minutes he scratched his head and tossed the dirt into the wind with a bored expression on his face. Few Shinigami who passed by glanced curiously at him from over the wall, but knowing his temper, nobody came to bother him. Nobody could guess why he wasn't out drinking with Vice-Captains Iba, Matsumoto and Hisagi tonight. Surprisingly, even Yachiru forgot to drop by to tease him, and all evening, Ikkaku just sat quietly by himself on the veranda, unperturbed by what was going to happen, as if the world was dead to him.
But when the sun finally set and the world was engulfed once more in darkness, Ikkaku bowed his head and buried his face deep inside the palm of his hand. He remained like this for a very long time.
Dammit...Is there really nothing I can do?! He cried over and over under his breath as he waited for the moment to arrive when Yanagi walked out on his memories...
Thanks for reading! I know it's a little less than perfect - a little OOC, a little MarySue - but I really appreciate that you've read it.
All reviews are welcome~ ^_^