Not a DUbious Distinction

by noncynic

Drakken's use of temp help leads to an unusual sitch for Will Du.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, any of the other characters from that show, or those from any other media I may reference in my stories.

This story takes place in my 'His Honor' universe, where Drakken becomes quite legitimately the Mayor of Middleton. But that event is far in the future as this tale begins.

"You understand I hope that this is only a one-shot deal, I'm only employing you because Shego suddenly decided to go on vacation, and I require these materials immediately." Doctor Drakken looked up from a delicate bit of micro welding to study the man on the opposite side of his workbench, his safety goggles making his eyes loom large.

The man's name was Ted Casker, and he was quite the accomplished criminal. He and his associates had gained a good reputation for reliable service to criminal masterminds of all kinds. He was moderately tall and solidly built, with slicked-back fair hair and a face that could be both scary or trustworthy in a thoroughly convincing manner as it's owner chose. Now, of course, he radiated confidence as he nodded to Drakken.

"I completely understand, Sir, and I assure you we will do our best to acquire whatever you need. And in return, I hope you keep us in mind for further jobs on your behalf." His voice was a touch gravelly, but he was obviously accomplished in matters of speech. Drakken also knew that he had a nickname, 'Casket Filler', based on his surname. And that it was well-deserved. But he also was known for restraint when asked to exercise it, so Drakken chose to make one thing perfectly clear.

"In pursuit of the goals I set you, I want you to avoid violence as much as possible. And if it becomes unavoidable, exercise restraint. Am I clear?"

Casker nodded. "Perfectly, Sir! Unless the job necessitates violence I do avoid it, as it usually slows things down and disrupts planning."

Drakken studied him for a moment longer before nodding his acceptance. "Very well! I need three items obtained, two should be relatively easy for you, not sure about the third...anyway, firstly I need 12 karats of industrial-grade diamonds, middling quality will suffice. Second, 28 ounces of depleted uranium. Do you already know of possible sources for those?"

Casker nodded, even as he keyed a list into his PDA: '12k IGD, DU, 28oz,' "Yes, I know a couple of places to obtain the stones, and one source for the uranium, Doctor Drakken." He replied confidently.

Drakken nodded, though his attention was back on his work. "Good, good...the third thing you'll have to steal from Professor Bortell. His security measures vary greatly, frequently depending on whether he remembers to turn them on or not, according to Shego. He has a new discovery, something he calls 'sustainium boride crystals', I'd like a sample to study." He looked up again and smiled slightly. "Not necessary for my new creation, just very curious, you see!"

Casker found it necessary to spell that name out. His message now read: '12k IGD, DU, 28oz, Sustainium Boride Crystals, steal from Bortell.' He didn't bother to enter an amount for the last item. "I've got it all, Doctor Drakken, is there anything else, or any other stipulations?"

"No, no, that will be all." The mad scientist dismissed him, then abruptly added, "By the way, be careful on the way out, haven't fully reprogrammed my security program since it was recently hacked...again!" He shook his head in exasperation.

Casker nodded as if this was perfectly normal. "Well, that explains the unconscious henchman in the entrance hall." He remarked.

Drakken barely paid attention. "Hmm? Oh, no, that was Shego. She really needed that vacation time..."

000000000

When Casker reached his hideout, he found his current pair of partners waiting for him. Though 'partner' was just what he called them to their faces, as far as Casker was really concerned, they were definitely subordinates. He falsely believed they were unaware of his actual opinion of them, a serious mistake on his part.

He sauntered in with a big smile on his face as the two men looked up from the game of poker they were playing on a folding card table in the middle of the main room. It was a clean if sparsely furnished room, with three doors leading to small bedrooms and a fourth to the bathroom. A kitchenette occupied one corner, and Casker smelled the faint aroma of microwaved Mexican food.

Lou Fisbeck and Carl Phlip were the names of the two men, Fisbeck a short but stocky man with thinning black hair and a bit of a beer gut. He was the smarter of the pair, which in Casker's opinion wasn't saying much. Phlip was taller by several inches, but thinner, though his arms looked very well developed in the short-sleeve shirt he wore. In fact, Casker sometimes fancied that their combined diameter exceeded that of the man's chest.

Ignoring them for a moment, he went straight to the fridge and took out an unfinished bottle of fruit juice. Even though he'd opened it only that morning, he sniffed it cautiously before taking a swallow, then taking his time swishing it around his mouth before swallowing it, relishing the looks of impatience on the other two men's faces. Or what he took for impatience, anyway.

"Well, we got the job!" He announced heartily as he turned a free chair around and sat down astride it, "Our first for a legit supervillain!"

"Cool!" Was Phlip's response, preempting Fisbeck, who scowled slightly before voicing his own reply. "Yeah, that's great, but what do we need to steal, and how hard is it going to be?" There was a touch of anxiety in his voice, which Casker made a false assumption about as to the cause.

"Not hard at all, we really lucked out on two of the three items!" Casker responded, then took another big swallow from his bottle which caused Fisbeck to suppress a grimace, "First we need industrial grade diamonds, and those we know where to go for, right?" He looked at them expectantly.

After a moment, Fisbeck's expression brightened considerably and he nodded with enthusiasm. "Yeah, we can get the ones we stashed after that heist two years ago, when we couldn't find a buyer!"

Phlip frowned. "But, are they still going to be any good after being stashed in that hole for years?"

Both of his comrades stared at him a moment in mute wonder before Casker nodded and replied in as neutral a voice as he could manner "Yes, Carl, I'm sure they'll still be good enough."

Reassured, Phlip nodded as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "Good! Wouldn't want to give them to someone if they've spoiled, the buyer could get real mad if we do that!"

Fisbeck made a funny gagging noise in the back of his throat as Casker nodded at Phlip, "Yes, it certainly would, Carl!" Then he cleared his throat before resuming, "Anyway, for the second...Lou, does your cousin still work security for Professor Bartell?" His expression then became puzzled, and he cleared his throat again. "Odd..." He muttered.

Fisbeck nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, he sure does! So we need to steal something from Prof B's lab?"

Puzzled frown still on his face, Casker nodded as he pulled out his PDA. He keyed up the list, but seemed to have trouble focusing on it. "Yeah, stuff is called Sus-Sustainium-uh, we need 12 karats worth of the diamonds, did we have that many?" He asked as if confused. He was now sweating, and shook his head, which actually increased his dizziness, and he swayed alarmingly in his chair. But when he dropped his PDA on the table and grabbed the chair back for stability, he instead tipped the whole chair over and fell hard on one shoulder. He blinked several times in shock, then his eyes closed and he went limp.

Phlip stood there literally holding his breath, eyes locked on the fallen man, while Fisbeck rose up on his tiptoes, fists clenched. But as Casker remained still, he slowly relaxed and settled on his heels, while flexing some feeling back into his fingers. Then he turned to regard Phlip, who was turning a little blue. He groaned "Breathe, you idiot! It's over, we're now in business for ourselves!"

As Phlip took in a deep breath, Fisbeck began to strut around the room. "No more settling for one-third of one-half of the take!" He sneered at the corpse. "How long did you expect to get away with that! Huh, Mister 'Casket Filler'?"

"Yeah!" Phlip threw in, "Seven years, and you never thought we'd get wise?"

Fisbeck winced and barely resisted smacking his own face, instead favoring Phlip with a withering glare, before shaking his head violently. "Never mind all this! We have to get rid of the body, then get going on this job he picked up! Imagine, working for a real supervillain! We're on the way up, buddy!"

Phlip nodded happily. "Yeah, sure clever of you to poison him! Hate to have tried it any other way...wait, he didn't finish telling us what we're supposed to steal, Lou!"

Fisbeck waved his hand dismissively. "We're fine, he puts everything on this gadget of his!" He picked up the PDA and studied it, then self-consciously produced a pair of reading glasses and read the screen again. "Let's see...the diamonds we know where to get, and this Sustainium Boride stuff...Wow, he wants 28 kilos of the stuff, hope Prof B has that much!" Then he frowned, "Not sure about the third item...give me a minute to think about it, quick trip to the john in order, you start tidying up our former boss for transport, Carl."

As Phlip nodded and went to the closet for a large tarp stashed there, Fisbeck went into the adjacent bedroom. Instead of going to the lavatory, however, he closed the door behind him and went quickly to sit in front of a desktop computer, logging online. "Let's see what 'Villipedia' says about this 'DU'." he muttered.

After a few moments his eyes widened, and he rubbed his jaw, thinking. "Okay, this one's going to be tricky..."

0X0X0X0XX0XX000XX

"Man, this tanks!" Ron Stoppable groused, "Why does Kim get to go on an actual mission for her training exercise and not me? And why does she get to do it with Brenda, while I get stuck with you?" Brenda Core was a young GJ agent who usually trained with Ron, while Kim usually teamed up with Ron's current companion.

'Long-suffering' was one expression that William Du had no reluctance displaying, and it was highly likely Ron had helped him hone it to perfection. He now waited through his preferred seven second pause before replying. "I believe the parameters for that mission called for two female operatives capable of passing as high-school students. Now, do your 'master-of-disguise' talents extend to passing yourself off as a teenage girl?"

Ron responded to the smug tones of the Asian GJ agent with a sour look. "Hey! That gimmick worked for the one story! I put that one together from parts of three or four different missions in the first place!" He protested.

"I'm sure." Du replied in a bored tone as he studied their surroundings, an abandoned housing section of a closed down military base. It was dusk, and there were only a few dim light sources strategically placed in the windows of a few houses, as well as a few flickering streetlights. He then continued in his normal, irritatingly superior tone. "I do think that sending Miss Possible on that mission rather then another trained agent to accompany Agent Core was a case of poor judgment, however. After all, a part-time amateur should not be getting involved in cases involving real international criminals! Having such a mission fail would make Global Justice look bad."

"Well, if that mission does fail, I'll wager you it won't be Kim's fault!" Ron responded hotly.

Will chose to ignore Ron's defense of Kim, seeing no point in wasting time debating the obvious shortcomings of amateur agents with the teen. "Shall we get back to our assignment? We are here for an exercise in personal initiative and innovative thinking. We are to locate an 'injured' agent who is in possession of a parcel. We must move the agent back here for 'extraction', and then finish his mission by smuggling the package into a guarded building where we will hand it over to another agent who is undercover. We must, of course, do nothing to blow that agent's cover in the process, hence the 'innovative thinking'."

He then regarded Ron dubiously. "Do you understand the mission parameters, Stoppable?"

Ron nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I got it. Do you think they based this test on the mission me and Kim did back in June, where we rescued that GJ Agent in Romania, then smuggled updated identity papers to another agent undercover as a clerk inside that electronics factory?"

Du blinked in shock, then quickly tried to recover his composure. "What? No, I'm certain this couldn't be based on one of your child..amateurish exploits!"

Ron shrugged. "Yeah, just a coincidence. Too bad we can't use the same method to sneak into the factory, but I don't have Kim's legs, and I'll bet you can't play an accordion, either!"

"Legs? Accord..." Will Du shook his head violently. "Forget your silly escapades! This mission will be carried out according to all the rules and procedures set down in Global Justice training..."

"Which I've never had." Ron interjected pointedly. "Ninja training, yes, but not sure I should let Will Doofus know that!"

Will glowered at the interruption. Then a thought struck him, and he replied smugly "Then obviously, you are here to learn from my example!"

Ron chewed his lip for a moment, then shrugged. "Whatever." He said dismissively, which caused Will's eyes to bulge slightly, then began looking around the area. "So, what's the plan? Do we know where to look for the agent? Any idea how heavy the guy is? Or if it's a guy? What about the size of the package? Do we need to disguise it? When Kim and I..."

"If you would STOP TALKING, I could answer you, you're wasting time!" Will's tone became a bit shrill, and he shut up while he regained control. "How can Kim Possible put up with him! How can Agent Core stand to train with this babbling fool?"

"Dude! Chill!" Ron chided him. "Making way too much noise if we're supposed to be in enemy territory! After all, what if they assign Agent Yost as the guy we need to rescue? He must weigh two hundred and sixty pounds, you want to have to haul him all the way here from...from wherever he's hiding?"

Du's mouth worked soundlessly, as his brain whirled between an actual image of Agent Yost, who weighed closer to two-ninety, and his mounting frustration at having to work...then his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Perhaps teaming him with Stoppable was a test of his own abilities as a leader? Perhaps Stoppable was being deliberately disruptive to test his patience? Now he wondered if his outbursts had already demonstrated a lack of maturity as a leader...then he decided that whatever damage was done, was done, and now he needed to proceed in the most professional manner possible to try an improve his evaluation.

He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders, drawing Ron's attention back to him. "We first need to locate the injured agent. For that purpose, we will split up and search the houses on either side of this street first." He gestured to indicate the direction he meant, "Meeting at the far end of the block in the next intersection. Of course, if we locate the agent before we reach the end of the block, we will signal to each other by...whistling, or do you do any bird calls?"

"Well..." Ron considered the question, "I do a great loon..."

Will nearly bit through his lip trying not to voice the first response that jumped into his mind. It would have been quite unprofessional, for one thing. Instead he tried to keep his voice steady as he replied, "A loon? Well,that bird is not indigenous to this area, but for the purposes of this exercise, I suppose it will do."

Ron grinned widely. "Cool! What bird are you going to do?"

Du winced. "I will simply use a three-note whistle, like so." He demonstrated.

Ron nodded. "Got it! And don't feel bad about not being able to do birds, it's a talent, some of us got it, some don't!"

Will bristled. "I did not say I couldn't...never mind, you take that side, an I'll take this one! And be warned, there is an opposing force, including random patrols!" With that final word, he turned and began to stride stiffly towards his chosen side, before glancing back and nearly stumbling from surprise. Ron had vanished. After a moment's consternation, he self-consciously dropped into a more proper stance for stealthy movement and continued.

Even though the base was no longer active, there was a security agency employed as caretakers to prevent vandalism or other trespasses. Two members of the agency were on a nearby hilltop. They watched as Ron and Will disappeared into the shadows. "Hmph! Playing games!"

His friend smiled. "Yep, just like back in the Corps, huh?"

The first guard snorted. "Hah! Yeah, but did you get a load of the opposition? Grungy looking lot, especially the pair who got here late. Not too long on brains, either, those two should really be ashamed if they get caught by one of them!"

Ron finished searching in and around the eight houses on his side of the street roughly forty minutes later. Half had been 'occupied' by GJ personnel meant to represent residents, and Ron assumed, in the absence of any contrary info from Will, that their agent would be in an empty house. So he had only entered the four empty houses to search them.

There were lights in only three of the houses on Will's side, so he assumed that he would have to wait a bit at the designated rendezvous point. But after forty-five minutes with no Will, he began to get irritated. Had he gotten caught? Ron doubted it somehow, he had not seen any of the opposing forces(Who in fact were giving the pair a chance to become careless, planning to move in after they had cleared another block or two).

Then a thought occurred to Ron. Will had said that this was a test of initiative, maybe his disappearance was part of the exercise, to test Ron's initiative? As the minutes ticked by, Ron became more convinced of that theory. "Okay," he thought, "If that's the way it goes, time for the Ronman to show his stuff!" Then he looked around, remembering the layout of the neighborhood. "That's a whole lot of houses to search, I wonder if there's something I missed, a shortcut?"

Further thought brought none to mind, so he sighed and tried to decide whether to check the houses Will was supposed to have searched. "That would be just the type of dirt trick they'd pull, expecting me not to think of that! Or...they'd expect me to expect them..."

0X0X0X0XX0XX000XX

The guards at the front gate were a bit surprised when an old panel van approached. They'd only admitted it two hours before, surely the exercise wasn't over so fast?

As the van slowed to a stop, one guard walked over and leaned in the passenger side window. "How come you guys are leaving so soon, exercise over?"

The driver sat like a statue, eyes straight ahead, while the guy in the passenger seat smiled a little uncertainly before replying. "Uh..that is, No! They're making the guys start over, because we caught one of them right off the bat! So, we're getting off early as a reward, isn't that right, Carl?" He prodded the driver in the ribs, barely concealing his apprehension.

The driver nodded his head vigorously. "Yeah, that's right! We got our guy, so we get to go home early!"

The guard felt a stir of suspicion at their behavior. He couldn't see into the back, there was a partition behind the seat, but he suddenly felt curious. However, before he could ask the two men to open up, he heard the phone in the guard booth ring. His partner answered it, then spoke words of doom. "Hey, Jimmy, it's your wife!"

The first guard groaned, all thoughts of the van's possible contents banished. He wasn't supposed to be getting calls here unless there was an emergency. Of course, his wife considered hundreds of little things 'emergencies'. He smacked his hand on the van door. "Okay, I hope you guys have a better night then I'm going to have! Get going!" He waved for his partner to raise the gate as he trudged back to the booth.

"What's up with those guys?" The other guard asked as he handed the receiver to the first.

The first guard looked at the fading red taillights of the van. "Well, guess you could say they got time off for good behavior."

0X0X0X0XX0XX000XX

"All I can say is, going on a mission with Kim Possible can take all the fun out of it!" GJ agent Brenda Core groused good-naturedly to John Bannicross, who was supervising the exercises at the base. They had just arrived at the spot where Will and Ron had begun their test, with the redhead in question trailing right behind him, smiling slightly at Brenda's mini-rant.

"Why, what happened?" Bannicross asked, also smiling.

"Oh, just when I thought we were going to get a good workout, she takes her wig off so they all recognized her, and half the henchmen slipped out the back door while the head bad guy was trying to stop stammering from the shock! Got his bravado back, but only until he looked around and realized he was practically alone!" Brenda related her tale in a tone of mock exasperation.

"Did he have the good sense to just surrender?" Bannicross asked curiously.

Brenda shook her head. "Nah, he decided to make a run for it, hoping the two dumb guards that were left could slow us down. I don't suppose I have to tell you how that went, do I? End result, mission accomplished, bad guys in jail, so we came back here to pick up Ron."

"And speak of the devil..." Kim, lost in memories of the mission, snapped alert at Bannicross' words and quickly swept the area with her eyes, soon spotting Ron emerging from the shadows supporting a very large man as they approached. She refrained from rushing forwards to help him, remembering that this was an exercise, and she was not a part of it.

She suppressed a smile as she heard Ron grumbling under his labored breath as he got close. Then Bannicross made a gesture, and the 'injured' man stepped away from Ron to stand on his own. Ron groaned in relief, massaging his shoulder. Then he spotted Kim, and all discomfort fled. "KP!"

The two were quickly in a hug, then broke it only to both try talking at once, while the three GJ agents drifted away, talking amongst themselves.

Kim's description of her mission barely exceeded 'No Big', while Ron's narrative of his evening was an exhaustive description of all the perils of roaming an abandoned housing project in the dark. But even while giving Ron's rant due attention, Kim noticed that the GJ people were acting strangely. After talking to the big agent, Bannicross spoke on his radio, and suddenly people began to appear from the occupied houses and begin to conduct an obvious search among the buildings.

"So I finally find the guy I'm looking for in a house way over there..." Even while making a sweeping gesture to indicate direction, Ron sensed that Kim's attention was elsewhere. He looked around at all the sudden activity. "What's going on?"

Kim had a hunch on that matter. "Ron, where's Will Du? Weren't you doing this mission together?" John Bannicross was moving back towards them, and caught Ron's reply.

"He was, but he ditched me right at the start of the exercise!" Ron declared, before looking thoughtful, "Which I sorta thought might have been deliberate, to see how I'd function left on my own?" The last morphed into a question as he looked at Bannicross, who looked grim.

The GJ agent shook his head. "No, that wasn't the plan, and we have no idea where Will's gone to!" Ron and Kim exchanged concerned looks, and Kim was reaching for her Kimmunicator when Brenda Core called over to them from where she had been using her comm to do some checking.

"John, did we let any of our exercise guys go home early?"

0X0X0X0XX0XX000XX

Drakken sat drumming the fingers of one hand on the top of his desk as he regarded the two men who stood opposite him. Between them was the nearly mummified form of Will Du, who stood there in his underwear and a great deal of duct tape and rope. "Let me get this straight, you took over the job I gave Mister Casker? Were you associates of his or competitors before this 'takeover'?" Drakken asked casually. To the right of his desk the recently returned Shego leaned casually against the wall, the beginnings of a smirk twitching the corners of her lips.

Lou Fisbeck looked uncertain as he tried to guess which answer would go best, but Carl Phlip made the choice for him. "We used to be partners with him, but he never gave us a fair share of the reward." He declared righteously. Fisbeck winced as he awaited Drakken's response.

"I see." Was the neutral response, before Drakken leaned forwards and clasped his hands in the middle of his desk blotter, "So, I assume this was a hostile takeover?"

Fisbeck again took too long to decide on an answer. "I dunno, is poison hostile?" Phlip asked him curiously. Behind them, Shego clapped a hand over her mouth to suppress a snort and turned away.

Drakken's face twitched, but he kept his tone level. "Definitely hostile...and how did you come to the belief that I wanted you to kidnap a Global Justice agent and bring him to my lair?" His tone rose sharply, and four henchmen on the far side of the chamber began fingering the activation studs of their shock staves.

Fisbeck broke into a sweat, fumbling in his pocket for Casker's PDA. "W—well, it's..I mean he's on your list!" He activated the device and found the list, which he practically threw on Drakken's desk. "R—right there, right in the middle!" Lou finished shakily.

Drakken studied the notation, and shook his head. " A little proper punctuation, and this problem would never have plagued us..." He shook his head, then studied the two containers sitting on the floor beyond the two men. One was obviously big enough to contain the 12 kilograms of industrial grade diamonds. "I take it then that that container holds 28 ounces of Sustainium Boride crystals?" He said, indicating the second cylindrical container.

Fisbeck nodded vigorously. "Yeah, that's the stuff!"

"Not the Depleted Uranium I actually requested?" The blue scientist's tone was mild, but hearing the slight scuff of his shoe on the floor under the desk, Shego took a couple of steps further away. There was a certain foot pedal under there...

"Depleted U—U...Ooooo..." Fisbeck's face went deathly pale as he glanced at Will Du, who glared back in return. "I guess maybe we made a mistake?"

"Two, actually." Drakken replied sourly. He gestured at the second container. "I only wanted a small sample of that, not such a large amount." He paused a moment, "Especially since 30 ounces is considered critical mass..." Even Will Du managed to shuffle a few inches farther from the container in question, though Shego restrained herself when she caught an odd glint in Drakken's eyes.

Fisbeck and Phlip stepped back a full four feet, unknowingly placing themselves dead center beneath a certain death ray...but Drakken moved his foot away from the pedal. The critical mass line was a fib, but he had no idea what would happen if the Sustainium Boride were to be blasted, and no desire to find out. Instead he opened his desk drawer and took out an envelope which he opened to reveal a significant wad of cash. Which became significantly smaller as he talked.

"I do owe you for the diamonds." He began reasonably, then grew stern, "But you failed to deliver the Uranium, gave me so much of Professor Bortell's invention that even he will notice it's absence, and brought this problem to my doorstep!" He indicated Will Du, as if anyone had any doubts at to his reference. He then tossed a greatly reduced sheaf of bills on the far edge of the desk. "I think that's all you deserve under the circumstances, any arguments?"

Considerably chastened, Fisbeck didn't hesitate to nod in vigorous agreement as he stepped quickly forwards and snatched up the money, not even caring how much it actually was. He stuffed it in his pocket uncounted, hoping it would at least cover the cost of the info on finding Du and getting passes for the base. Right now he tried to maintain his professional demeanor. "Perfectly understandable, Doctor Drakken! Certainly can't expect you to pay for something you don't want!" Then he stopped and looked at Will, then back at Drakken. "You want us to take care of this guy?" He indicated Will with his thumb.

Drakken considered it briefly, then shook his head. After all, then he'd be an accessory to whatever these morons did. "No, I'd just like you to exit my lair as quickly as possible, if you don't mind." He replied cooly, then gestured to the henchmen, who moved quickly forwards to flank the two thieves.

Sweating profusely, Fisbeck nodded, a weak smile on his face. "Got it, no problemo, Doctor Drakken! But, if you ever have another job for us? Oh, and the diamonds are not technically stolen, or at least no one is ever going to report that they're missing!" He was already being ushered towards the exit as he spoke. Forcefully ushered.

"Nice to know." Drakken replied dryly, "I may recommend you to a colleague of mine, but I doubt I'll be contacting either of you again." His tone was definitely one of finality.

"Great! Tell all your friends, we do good work..er, well, provided we get good info..." Fisbeck's voice faded as he vanished up the passage to the entrance.

Shego stepped up to the desk, ignoring Will as she gave Drakken a curious look. "Recommend them to a colleague? She asked dubiously, then turned the PDA around so she could read the message on it, snorting derisively.

Drakken made a dismissive gesture. "DNAmy can always use test subjects!" He studied Will. "Now, what are we going to do with you?" He asked rhetorically. Then he sighed. "I'll regret this within minutes, Shego, but please release Agent Du, without singeing or otherwise doing him harm if you can."

Shego suppressed a wicked grin as she studied the wrapped agent. "I dunno, Doctor D, that's a lot of duct tape..."

She wisely left the gag for last, letting Will remove it himself. At which point Drakken's regrets began. He tried to tune everything out after 'I insist', having an almost uncannily accurate premonition of everything Agent Du proceeded to say, but the agent's strident voice was impossible to block out. Still, it was a sort of karma for Drakken, having to listen to an interminable rant for once...

"...and surrender yourselves forthwith to me!" Will finally finished with, a smug expression having somehow come onto his face. Which slipped a bit when he saw Shego studying her nails, while Drakken leaned his head on one elbow, the fingers of his other hand drumming on the blotter once again. He had literally hooked his feet under the frame of his swivel chair to try and prevent any spontaneous pedal smashing under the desk.

Will looked back and forth between them, expression growing angry. "Why are you behaving so nonchalantly! You are guilty of abducting a Global Justice agent! Your only chance for mercy is to surrender yourselves voluntarily!"

"Actually.." Drakken began, shooting Shego a look to keep her from expressing her own opinion on the matter, "..as you yourself heard, those two men abducted you due to a misunderstanding, not on my orders." That caused Will to frown doubtfully. "Further, I removed you from their custody, probably saving you from death, as they admitted to having murdered their former partner." Will winced slightly at that thought. "On the other hand, there is the question of those items." He indicated the two containers, "And what we do about your knowledge of them."

Will began to look uneasy, especially as the henchmen had returned by now.

"Well, in the first case," Shego spoke up, gesturing at the diamonds, "No one is going to file a claim on them, as you heard. In the second," She indicated the second container, "All we have to do is return that, and Bortell will believe us when we say we took it from the actual thieves. Or not really care, as long as he gets it back! After all, what would someone do with twenty-eight ounces of this stuff?"

"I have no idea what to do with one ounce of it!" Drakken declared honestly. Then he looked levelly at Will. "So, Agent Du, what kind of trouble could I actually be in, here?"

Will held his silence petulantly for a moment. Then as he opened his mouth to reply, the intercom on Drakken's desk buzzed. He pressed the receive switch. "Yes?"

"Doctor Drakken, we have an intruder alert! Someone is removing the access panel on the northern air ducts!" Came the voice of his security chief.

Drakken rolled his eyes and looked at Will. "Wonderful! On top of everything else, now Kim Possible is coming to rescue you!" Then his eyes narrowed as he saw a flash of panic in Will's eyes.

The GJ agent regained his composure quickly. "I demand that you release me at once!" His voice wavered slightly.

Drakken Waved towards the exit. "You're free to go, as far as I'm concerned! Of course, how you'll explain all this to your superiors, if you get out of here unobserved by Miss Possible and her friends, which I consider improbable, is your problem! Besides, why not just wait to be rescued?" He was quickly getting a notion of what was going on, as he saw beads of sweat pop out on Will's forehead.

"Y—you do not understand, I must n—not..I have to...I CANNOT BE SAVED BY THAT AMATEUR!" The sudden switch from stammering to shouting caused Shego to take a step back from Will, eyebrows raising, while the henchmen again began to ready their staves. Will himself seemed to reel momentarily from the force of his own outburst. Then his eyes really widened when he heard the voice from the speaker again. "Access hatch breached, intruders in ventilation system."

Exerting his will to it's fullest not to smirk evilly, Drakken spread his hands in a hopeless gesture. "And what do you expect me to do about it? Hide you? Then I would look guilty of kidnapping you! I mean really, what else could I do, dress you up as a henchman or something, so they wouldn't notice?"

"YES!" Will blurted out, "That's ideal! I can say I was trying to infiltrate your lair if they recognize me!"

Not having actually expected Will to take his suggestion seriously, Drakken exchanged wondering glances with Shego, who then addressed the panicky agent. "Okay, Willy, but you have to do your best not to be recognized, or you'll make us look dumb!" When after a moment's hesitation Will nodded a vigorous assent, Drakken spoke again.

"And you'll have to join in when the other henchman try and defend the lair from Kim Possible, and make it look good, you know!" Shego had a hard time keeping a straight face at that suggestion.

Will, composure oddly regained, drew himself up. "I can handle that!, I'll restrain myself, so as not to accidentally injure Miss Possible, of course!"

Shego winced, then turned away to hide the wicked grin that spread across her face. "Got to get video of this somehow! This idea is sounding better and better by the minute!"

"And you will owe me for this, at some future date." Drakken added. At Will's alarmed look, he added, "But don't worry, I won't ask you to compromise your standing with Global Justice, believe it or not!" He then looked at his lead henchman. "Roy, suit Mister Du up, if you please!"

A short time later...

Drakken sighed and put down the phone, then folded his hands in front of him as he regarded the disgustingly perky form of his nemesis as she stood exactly where Will Du had shortly before. Shego now stood behind the desk, trying not to look too bored. Behind Kim, Ron was trying to untangle himself from some kind of net, the origin of which puzzled Drakken. "Unless of course he brought it himself, but managed to somehow entangle himself in it?" The villain thought to himself.

Aloud, he addressed Kim. "And why exactly are you breaking into my lair this time, Kim Possible?"

"We just got word that someone pulled a major theft from Professor Bortell's lab, and you seemed the most likely suspect, Drakken, especially when Wade was able to trace the distinct signature of his new creation to right here!" She pointed triumphantly at the cylinder containing the Sustainium Boride.

"Ah, that." Drakken shook his head. "Well, I just finished speaking to Cyrus, and he's sending someone to pick that up as we speak." That brought a suspicious scowl to Kim's face, and a disingenuous smile to Drakken's. "You see, two thieves stole it for someone else. When their original buyer backed out for some reason, they tried to sell it to me!" He clarified, voice dripping with sincerity.

"OH, Right, like we're supposed to believe that!" Ron exclaimed, as Kim gave up and helped him free himself from the net(Which in fact was a Global Justice device, given to Ron to test to see if it was foolproof).

Drakken contrived to look hurt. "Really, Ronald, you wound me! After all, what would I want with all of that Sustainium Boride? In fact, what would anyone want with it? The thieves' original buyer didn't want it either, after all."

"Yeah, well I bet you could have thought of something evil to do with it!" Ron retorted, just as Kim freed him and tossed the net away. "Besides, why do you still have it at all?"

Drakken waved one hand dismissively. "Oh, I told the thieves it was dangerous to be toting it around, some nonsense about it being unstable, and they fell for it! They just left it here when they departed, I gave them nothing for it."

"And the doing evil part?" Ron persisted.

"With super-powered detergent?" Drakken replied sarcastically. Beside him, Shego blinked, having not heard Bortell's reply over the phone as to the substance's intended use. "Not laundry detergent, mind you," he added as the two teen regarded him with astonished looks, "But it's basic use is to clean certain surfaces in a specific environment. As to putting it to an evil purpose? I haven't the slightest notion how to go about that!"

"Uh, Kim..." The voice of Wade Load issued from the Kimmunicator at Kim's belt, "I'm afraid he's telling the truth, that's all the stuff is meant to be used for, Professor Bortell developed it for NASA. What it's specifically for, I don't know, something about working in vacuum? Anyway, a plane just left the Professor's lab and is headed this way, so it looks like Drakken's telling the truth this time!"

Kim looked positively ill at that prospect. Ron still looked dubious, however. "I don't suppose you know anything about the disappearance of Will Du, do you?" He asked with a hint of suspicion.

"And why would I?" Drakken replied, then spread his arms wide in an encompassing gesture. "You're welcome to search my lair, if you wish! After all, you should try and find some justification for beating up my henchmen this time." Kim actually flinched guiltily at that.

"Hey!" Ron blurted, "They attacked us...wait, I know this one, we broke in, they had the right...man, that tanks!"

"I hope you weren't too rough on the boys, Kimmie!" Shego remarked sarcastically.

Something in her voice caused Kim to regard her suspiciously for a moment, but then she heaved a sigh. "Come on, Ron, let's get home, we need some sleep tonight, and our parents might be a bit worried."

0X0X0X0XX0XX000XX

Up the passageway from the main chamber, a number of red-clad forms were sprawled. One stirred slightly and tried to raise his head, showing enough of his face beneath the mask to be recognized as Will Du. "S—she w—was so-so fast!" He managed to croak, before his head fell again.

"Welcome to our world, chum!" Another groaned, before returning to unconsciousness himself.

0x0x0X0XX0XX000XX

Slightly more than two years later...

Drew Lipsky, duly elected Mayor of the City of Middleton, was trying to puzzle out the discrepancies between reports between the City's Comptroller, B. N. Counter, and unofficial financial adviser, Francis Lerman, AKA Frugal Lucre. Drakken didn't believe either one was being dishonest deliberately, but something weird was going on...then his deliberations were interrupted by the buzz of his office intercom.

He pressed the transmit switch. "Yes, Mrs Hari?" Which was not his receptionist's actual name, but since they both knew she was a Global Justice plant, it was their semi-private joke.

"You have a visitor, A Miss Hogan." Was the terse reply. Drakken's eyebrows shot up. He knew more than one Miss Hogan, but he had a sudden suspicion as to which one was calling. And the reason for the visit. "Please, send her in, Mata my Dear!" Drakken replied, and then smirked. How someone could make a disconnecting 'click' sound outraged, he'd never know...

His office door opened and a statuesque blond who could have passed for forty entered. In truth she was a decade older, and fifteen years separated from work in the field, but Drakken had a great deal of respect for Abby Hogan, Betty Director's aide. "Well, well, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?" He greeted her, rising to his feet, then gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. She nodded graciously as she accepted the invitation and sat down. Drew then resumed his own seat.

She didn't waste any time. "To get right to the point, Mister Mayor, why is Will Du spending his free time as playground monitor and crossing guard at the Middleton Pre-K?"

Drakken smiled and leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers on his chest. "As you say, to get right to the point, do you and Betty Director already know the answer to that question?"

Abby gazed at him stonily for a moment, then a slight smile appeared. "He told a fairly credible story to explain his abduction by persons unknown and subsequent 'escape' that night, but he really should have considered the possibility we might have had your lair under surveillance and spotted him leaving."

"I see. Been waiting to see if I'd blackmail him into revealing any Global Justice secrets ever since?" Drakken's tone showed he didn't give much credit to his own accusation.

"The thought did occur to us." Abby responded wryly, "As well as the possibility of some kind of mind control. The fact that Will began to act more like a human being afterward made some people quite suspicious." She added, tongue firmly in cheek.

Drakken smirked. "Well, I had to make him fulfill his 'obligation' to me, even after I went straight, if that's what this is." He gestured to encompass the office. "I take it you want me to release him from his duties?"

Abby shook her head, trying not to smile too widely. "Not at all! Betty thinks it's excellent training for crowd control, and dealing with uncooperative charges, among other things!" She rose to her feet. "And consider it Global Justice's contribution to the community. You can have him until the end of the school year, then I'm afraid he's all ours."

"Hmm." Drakken studied the snow blanketing the ground outside and nodded. "End of the school year? That should be more then sufficient. Tell Betty I appreciate it."

Halfway to the door, Abby turned with a sinister grin. "Not doing it for you, you know, she really doesn't like agents who try and pull a snow job on her. If you hadn't found a suitable 'punishment' for Will, trust me, she would have!"

"I'm sure." Drakken muttered as the office door closed behind her. He grinned briefly, then regarded the paperwork on his desk again. "Well, that's one small reward for going legit!" He sat down and resumed his work.

Well, tried hard to get this done and posted before October ended, but not hard enough. Been in a drought lately, hope I come out of it. This idea has been lurking in my head for well over a year before I started writing it, so I forgot half the bits I came up with, hope it passes muster.

For now, please Read and Review