A/N: Hi! This is my new fan fic, I hope you enjoy and please comment, criticism is welcome as long as it's not just mean criticism, constructive criticism is always welcome :D
Chapter One: Journal
He held the journal to his chest as he moved to sit on his bed. He sighed lightly as he opened to the first page, feeling the tears begin to fall even though he hadn't started reading yet, Blaine had told him that he needed to read this. He took a shaky breath as he looked down at the page, salty tears lay on the page, and he gently wiped them off and began to read.
Kurt, please don't cry, Kurt laughed at this gently, his husband knew him way too well, this is only the beginning, I love you and no matter what happens I will always love you sweetheart, ever since I realized when you sang Blackbird onwards that we were meant to be, again I apologize how long it took me to realize how in love with you I was, I was blinded by our friendship and didn't want to ruin it by making it more difficult but when we did (finally) get together I found it was even easier then friendship, you are just perfect for me Kurt, and I've thanked whoever is looking over us every day for the past ten years because every day has just been amazing with you, sorry, I'm babbling, I knew I would try and put this off but now I'm beginning so you will know all my thoughts that are going through my head through this time, I realize you probably already know what I will think, but I'm going to write them down anyway.
The date today is the 31st of September, Becca, our surrogate just went into labour, I told you I needed to come home first to grab some things, which I did but I decided to write this as quickly as I could, anyway, I found out about the cancer two days ago, I'm not actually sure about what stage it is at or anything, I was just told it was a melanoma, I am so stupid, I should have listened to you the millions of times you told me to put sunscreen on and I rejected because I would just tan, I'm so sorry Kurt, I should have listened.
I wish life was like the movies, I really do, I wanted us to live until we were old and grey and wrinkly, well I would be wrinkly, you with your skin regime will never be wrinkly, Kurt laughed gently and sniffled as he continued to read, I wanted it to happen like in The Notebook, but you know...without the Alzheimer's, not that I wouldn't stay if you did have it, and I hope it would be vice versa, but anyway, I'm getting off topic again, what I mean to say is the bit at the end, where I always cry but somehow you seem to hold yourself together until the credits every time, where they both die in each other's arms, I wanted that to be us, I feel that we were meant to always be, like true soul mates, but I know it's just a movie and I'm saddened by that, that we won't both die at that exact moment together to go on to the next life, or wherever we go, that either I will leave you or you will leave me, it seems I will be first, but I shouldn't say that, lots of people survive cancer, right? But the fact that I would have to stay on this Earth without you kills me, and I can't think that if I don't survive this, you will be stuck here for years without me, I mean, I could be selfish and tell you to never see another guy but you can if you want to...Sorry, I should be staying positive, I'm not going to die, when I tell you, you will tell me to not be so stupid and that we can get through this, stronger as always.
Sorry, I better finish up now, you just text me saying you were beginning to worry and wondering where I was, I didn't realise how long I had been writing for, you're so nervous and I can just imagine you as a nervous wreck pacing the waiting room waiting for me, I just text you back saying I'd be back at the hospital in ten, so, remember Kurt, always, I love you, so much, I will never forget you.
Blaine xx
Kurt took another shaky breathy, unsure if he really did want to read anymore, he bit his lip lightly and turned the page.
A/N: So how did my first chapter go? *bites lip nervously* This is a shorter chapter just because it's more like a prologue than anything, after this there will also be Kurt's memories in it as well :). So, I hope you enjoyed :)