disclaimer: mystic messenger belongs to cheritz.
notes: originally posted on ao3 6th september 2016 under nascence pseudonym. title is taken from tame impala's the less i know the better and this fic is inspired by chance the rapper's blessings. setting post-secret endings.
come on, superman, say your stupid line
Lately, the phone is an extension of your hand. You keep holding on to it, because, well, it turns into a habit after you weren't allowed to touch Rika's belongings, so your phone and new books bought from a bookstore nearby were the only salvations. And that doesn't stop when you don a white gold ring on your finger, carefully chosen by Saeyoung, and frequently visits the twins' house to bring actual proper lunch. You're not that good at cooking, but your mother exasperatedly chided you to learn more after you announced your engagement, and Saeyoung's satisfied eyes and Saeran's half-hearted praises makes the hard work worth it.
You learned that you like to call people during your stay at Rika's apartment. It makes you happy, picking apart other member's tones and words, like they actually let you see a sliver of their heart on their voice. And besides the chat, it's one of the ways to know what they've been up to, since they're separated by jobs and prolonged mundane matters.
God, how you're becoming a phone addict.
i.
For a recently aspired university student, Yoosung still often calls you in between classes and internet surfing.
"So, I got this super easy recipe from my guild member!" he quips, the hustle and bustle of university canteen becomes the white noise that doesn't hinder Yoosung's excitement. "Did you know you can bake cheesecake without oven?"
"Really? How?" you ask, and Yoosung explains the ingredients, the steps as quick as Saeyoung's typing. You wonder if his outcries during LOLOL fights causes the incredible speed of his mouth. You manage to catch the important things though. Cream cheese, unsalted butter, Oreo crumbles, milk. You write on your notebook and when he's done, you're still halfway to a whole page.
"I'd like to make it to my mom," Yoosung confesses. "She doesn't say it, but she really, really likes sweets."
"I'm sure she will be happy," you assure. Jumin was rude to call Mrs Kim, sure, but the after effects has been lingering through Yoosung's tone when he calls and his words when he chats. Now, he bravely admits that he misses his parents, sometimes.
"Thank you," he says. "I'm sure Saeyoung will wolf your cheesecake down!"
"I don't know if he's going to eat it, though."
"Dude, he loves you so much he's willing to eat everything made by you," he says, half-aghast. "C'mon, brighten up, Mrs. Soon-to-be Choi! You can do it!"
You remember when he ate your burnt up eggs and bacon and praised it with overflowing hallelujahs. Said it was better than Honey Buddha Chips and that is something, alright. So you think, why the hell not?
.
.
You actually make the cheesecake (and as Yoosung said, it was incredibly easy) and present it on the table. Saeyoung drools, prays, takes a picture, and saves it unedited in a folder named Everything My Fiancee Made for Me in thirty seconds.
"God Seven is eternally grateful for his humble worshipper's offering!" preaches Saeyoung with hands in the air. A click of a camera is heard and without a turn of your head, you know who exactly would take a picture during Saeyoung's foolish antics. "Now, God Seven will give His blessings as gratitude."
Saeyoung leans over the table and steals a kiss that's far too short for your liking. But he lights up the room, anyway, when he bounces on the floor as he simultaneously cutting down the cheesecake sloppily and ignores Saeran's begrudging remark of how gross PDAs are. And even though Saeran is different from Saeyoung in many ways, they are similar too. They proceed to have a second plate at the same second and you decide to immortalize their heavenly expression on RFA messenger, types, aren't they cute? _
.
.
Yoosung✮: They are cute~
ZEN: Not Saeyoung tho
ZEN: He looks ridiculous
707: rude!
Unknown: lol
Jaehee Kang: Have you considered to be a food CM model, Zen?
Jaehee Kang: I think you'll do a really good job
ZEN: There's no offer so nah
ZEN: Though I admit I will do the CM justice~
ZEN: Aaaaah, why God bless me with this incredible face and body
Jumin Han: Please.
Jumin Han: Elizabeth 3rd is cuter than everyone else on Earth.
Jumin Han sends a picture
ZEN: STOP SENDING PICTURES OF THAT GODDAMN FUR BALL
Jumin Han sends a picture
ZEN: I hate you
ZEN: So much
Jumin Han: Why thank you.
Jumin Han: I'm honored.
ZEN: That's not a compliment!
ii.
When Zen calls, he always brags about his looks first. This time, you hear his sneezes first.
"Goddammit, cat! Why the hell you decide to pass by this handsome fellow that has cat allergy!" he yells as a hello. You blink and takes your phone away from your ear few inches, covering waves of giggles with your other hand. "Do you want to ruin his routine? Is that it? Do you want this angel-like face – wait, my face is angel itself – to be swollen and puffy? Huh? Huh? Is that i – acheeew!"
"Zen, you okay?" you ask after taking a long breath.
"No, I'm not a – acheew! Stupid cat!" he shouts. You hear him sniffling and it takes a few seconds for him to turn his attention to your voice. "Sorry. It's just, you know, what has been explained numerous times: cat allergy. God, why snot exist? Why cat exists?"
"It's okay. I've seen your photo at the previous party, y'know. When Jumin brought Elly. It cannot get worse than that."
"Wait." He pauses. "Who gave you?!"
Oops. You accidentally blurt out the secret Saeyoung had been keeping for two whole years. "Um, it's a classified information?"
"It's Saeyoung, isn't it?"
"My mouth is zipped!" You continue with fake cringe-inducing muffles that doesn't help your lie at all. "Anyways, what's up? You got a new role?"
"Yup!" he says, full of glee. "I got a new lead role for this famous director. So, yeah, I'm gonna be some sort of this handsome barista that gets whipped by this nerdy girl. Classic love story, huh?"
"Very classic," you comment. "I'm waiting for that selfie in barista costume. Jaehee is going to have a heart attack, for sure."
"And you're not going to save my selfies?" he asks, and you consider it, because well, Zen is indeed an eyecandy but you refuse him.
"Nah. I got Saeyoung's to stare already," you say. The phone gallery doesn't exactly has hundreds of photos, but there are a lot of Saeyoung's ridiculous exaggerated faces and troll snapchats saved into your memory. That is enough.
"Oh, wow." A static second, then – "Um, including the, uh, crossdressing ones?"
"Obviously," you huff, because, goddamn, Saeyoung's pretty. Possibly prettier than you, but, hey, you love him, pretty or not. You always figure what made you fell for him hard until you dreamed that maybe in the next life, both of you will finally marry in a space station was his stupid, foolish, endearing words. His face is a plus. His glasses also finally grow on you. "He's actually genius at putting makeup? He taught me these tricks. Maybe he can be your makeup artist one day."
"Eugh, no. I don't want my face touched by a troll like him."
"Hey, that's my fiancé we're talking about," you chide. "And admit it, you love him as a maid."
His silence is the answer you need. He quickly follows it, "Oh, God, there's that fricking cat again. I'mgonnarunbeforethisfaceisruinedbye!"
.
.
"Saving your crossdressing pictures isn't that weird. Right?" you ask during the movie night. You guys are holding a superhero movies marathon, because that's what Saeran had missed over couple of years, and it is a trend that needs to be embedded to his mind. Saeran, though, throughout the whole run, never really breaks into bits of emotion. His brother, on the other hand, is the opposite.
And for the first time since the first minute of the film, Saeyoung stares at you, his steady tapping on your arm stops. "I think it's not. I mean, if you dressed in men's outfit – preferably mine, thank you – I still think you'll look fantastic."
You cheeks flush and Saeyoung grins, leans in to kiss them so your blood rushes even more.
Saeran complains about your PDAs often, short and concise in chats, but he's no stranger to both of you doing couple-y things in front of him. But, when you glance at him, Saeran actually shudders.
"Wait," he interrupts, brows knitted, "You do crossdressing?"
"Yeah, for my missions in the past," Saeyoung answers, grinning mischievously. "Why? You no likey?"
"I don't know and I don't want to know," Saeran replies back.
The younger twin suddenly stands up and pads out of the living room. Saeyoung quickly shoots out his palm.
"Quick, give me your phone," he instructs and you obey him because you know Saeyoung has an idea and you always like to participate in his jokes. You draw the password pattern in rush and once it opens, you give him. He visibly shows you his intentions: uploading the most lovable crossdressing Saeyoung Choi pictures to RFA messenger.
You count together from ten, with pauses in between because both of you cannot control your giggles and laughs, so you're still counting five when actually ten seconds had already passed by. Saeran screams his lungs out.
"Oh, fuck you, Saeyoung Choi! Fuck you!"
And when you're bathed in artificial light, this moment of both of you high-five and finally, finally let out laughs so loud Saeran actually comes out of his room just to kick his twin and chop your head, is undeniably real.
.
.
Unknown: Bleach my brain please.
ZEN: Bleach my brain please (2)
707: Please
707: No one can resist my lady charm~
707: Not even my lady
707: lololololololol
iii.
"Is Saeyoung busy?" Jaehee asks and it's two AM and her voice is tinged with tiredness and blotches of needed sleep. It's two AM and you don't expect her to call searching for his fiance's existence, not fangirling over Zen's latest performance or complaining about Jumin's evil tasks. "I tried to reach him, but he doesn't answer his phone."
"Sorry, but he's asleep now. Can you call in the morning?"
"Sorry, I just – I need him to call me right now."
"What's going on?"
"Mr. Han suddenly had an idea popped out of his bossy mind. He wants to offer a job for Saeyoung. Possibly Saeran too."
"Oh, that's a good news! But why don't you talk about it on the messenger?"
"Mr. Han said he needed a response now," Jaehee despairs. You always wonder how Jaehee managed to be a saint, even with her sporadic intentions to keep Jumin and Elizabeth away from her sleep time. At least, Jumin already promised a holiday vacation for Jaehee. Jaehee celebrated it with capitals everywhere and even that's a bit of surprising for you.
"I'm so sorry, Jaehee, but he looks so peaceful. I guess he's too bored with me working on this stupid report since, uh," you glance at the clock, "three hours ago."
Jaehee gasps. "Oh, wow. I didn't expect him to be the guy who can stay put."
"I know right? I told him to sleep earlier, but he insisted to wait for me, so, yeah."
"He must have loved you very much," Jaehee whispers.
You gaze down at his face, all lines smoothen out, and soft snores rolling out of his throat. His hair tickle your neck and you realize that his glasses is still there, drooping down the bridge of his nose. You need seconds to take off his glasses and kiss the spot above his ear.
"Yeah," you whisper back. "Yeah, he does."
"Well, I don't want to interrupt his sleep. He needed all those lost hours anyway; he's already worked so hard for us."
"Thank you, Jaehee. I'll make sure to mention your offer first thing in the morning."
"Don't need to be worry. I'm sure Mr. Han does has enough sense in his mind not to disturb anyone at this hour," Jaehee sighs. "Oh, wait: he doesn't."
"Cheer up, Jaehee," you say, half-pitying. "I promise I'll buy you Zen's newest DVD for your birthday."
"Now, isn't that a nice motivation?" Jaehee laughs quietly. "Well, good night. Please sleep well, unlike me, working until the sun rises and Elizabeth 3rd meows in the morning."
.
.
You wake up to his nose nuzzling your shoulder like a puppy seeking for praises and affection. When your eyelids rise, you are greeted by lights piercing through the windows and that is unusual. Saeyoung loves to be in the dark. It makes him more focused when he's doing his job. There's a whole reason why Saeyoung wears glasses.
"What's the occasion?" you ask, sighing as he peppering languid kisses onto your skin.
"I just want to see you under the sunlight," he mutters, hands pressing the mattress and you sink even further under his weight.
"I'm sorry, but you need to postpone that," you say. Saeyoung stops, looks at you with head cocked to the side. Questions flaring inside his irises. "Jumin wants to hire you. Saeran too."
"What," he deadpans. "Is that a joke?"
"Jaehee called last night to inform you, but you were asleep." You thread your fingers between those soft red locks, digits tangled in the curls of his, but you don't let go. Not yet, anyway. "If you truly want to stop hacking and do the good deeds, this might be a good opportunity, yeah?"
"But—"
You shushes him, putting a digit on his lips. "Hear me out: Jumin is our friend. I'm sure he has no bad intentions. And I know you're worried about Saeran's condition if he worked, but he needs this more than ever. It's time for him to get the hang of the society, you know what I mean?"
"I know."
"I know you do," you say, patting his head. "And if you think Saeran's not ready, Jumin is going to be considerate." You pause for a second, remembering that sometimes Jumin is incredibly insensitive. "I'll make sure he's going to be considerate. Jaehee will help me."
Saeyoung smirks. "You're cute when you're fired up."
"Hush," you sigh, splaying your palm across his cheek, tips brushing against fire strands and translucent skin. "And I believe you're going to be there for Saeran, anyways, so no need to worry. Unless, Saeran's going to meet the love of his life there, so, maybe you can mind him after that."
"Hold on a sec," he screeches, pulls away, then stares hard. "So, you were saying that I can be a—" his eyes twinkle like magic wands and that, that is a bad news "—matchmaker?!"
Oh. Oh no. "That's not what I mean!"
"That is what you totally mean!" He gets up, gangly limbs excited in the air and socked feet running down the hall to wake up his beloved brother. You hear Saeyoung call Saeran's name repeatedly, and then he chirps, "Dude, duuuuude, I am so going to be your cupid I'm not even joking."
"What?" Saeran replies, half-awake and fully-disturbed by Saeyoung's presence.
Saeyoung, though, winks and fingerguns knowingly. "You're welcome."
.
.
707: Should I call you, Mr. Han now?
707: Oh, God, I totally should.
707: Morning, Mr. Han!
Jumin Han: I can tell this is going to be painful.
707: LE GASP
707: I'm hurt, Mr. Han.
707: Also, I'm hacking to your office rn.
707: Your system is so easy to hack lolololol
Jumin Han: And why would you hack your own boss' office?
707: I need to see the potential love of my brother's life
707: wink wink nudge nudge
Unknown: Will you just stop?
707: Nope!
iv.
So, Both Saeyoung and Saeran are C&R's tech security officers now. Wonderful.
Jumin, though, doesn't feel that at all.
"I'm fine with Saeran, but Saeyoung," says Jumin, and you can imagine him sitting in his ridiculously luxurious black leather chair, surrounded by unsigned paperworks and humongous windows, massaging his temples on his own. "I can't even express myself well with that boy."
You snort. "He's five years younger than you."
"Doesn't excuse his childish acts," Jumin reasons, and how can you argue with that?
"So," you indulge, "what did he do?"
"All day he kept pestering me. Constantly calling Elizabeth 3rd with that disgraceful nickname of his. Said he wanted to meet my beautiful, divine cat so bad he would drag his ass to work before sunrise if he needed to be."
You choke so hard you need to fan yourself to calm down. "Oh my god, it's so bizarre hearing you say... 'ass'."
"I'm just quoting him. Indirectly," he persists, clearly annoyed by your amusement. It would be nice to record him saying ass anyway. Zen and Saeyoung would probably laugh their ass off and teasing Jumin till doomsday. Saeran's sarcastic lololololol. Yoosung would give a plethora of surprised stickers. Jaehee's passive-aggressive sentences towards his boss, avoiding the prospect of being fired. It's fun to imagine.
"And? You're not going to call me if you have no intentions."
"I have a suggestion," Jumin starts, and you pressing the phone closer, as if Jumin's whispering a secret evil idea, exclusive to both of you. "You're going to adopt a cat."
"What?"
"You love cats, no?"
"I do love cats, but—"
"Perfect," says Jumin and you know he's not going to take a no for that. Might as well get in to the rollercoaster. "There's a kitten stranded in my lawn. He's perfectly healthy, you see, and I cannot bear to see Assistant Kang or Zen to ruin a cat's flawless life."
"And you're not going to consider Yoosung as a potential candidate?"
Jumin contemplates. "I do, but I want you to take him so Saeyoung can shut up and do his work. He can call the cat Elly if he wants, I don't care. I just want him to stop barging in my office because I need peace."
You think about your chats in the past. Saeyoung's playful jokes wanting to play with Elly again, even though you know he handled her wrong through Jumin's evidences, and instead of scolding him, you decided to play along. Indulged him with cat puns and typed an abundance of meows. And sometimes, when you're hand in hand with him under the leaves and skyscrapers, in the midst of waves of human feet and screeching tires, a cat passes by, then he lingers.
"Fine," you say. "And how do I get there?"
"Oh, that can be arranged quickly."
.
.
Saeyoung opens the door and freezes on the spot. Saeran takes the chance to shove him aside unfazed by the appearance of a kitten pawing at the sofa. You called him in advance, just in case Saeran was not interested in taking part of this kitten business, especially because Saeyoung, in no doubt, would scream, and he replied, yes, I can awww'd the cat when I want to, but nope, definitely not today. I want to sleep, you hear me? S-L-E-E-P.
Once Saeran's door is closed, Saeyoung screams, the high-pitched one. "Oh. My. God. What? What is this miracle?!"
"A cat, obviously," you answer, and Saeyoung screams. Again. As if to prove the cat's existence. "Jumin said you can name him Elly if you promise to call Elizabeth 3rd her proper name."
"I promise, I promise, I promise—!" Seven throws away his bag and buttoned down his buttons, no longer suffocating, and lay down on the floor to admire the beauty of Elly's limbs. "Oh, he's gorgeous," he praises, mouth stretched from ear to ear. "Can I take him to bed?"
"Mmm, if you promise not to make him Longcat II, maybe you can," you say as you kneel down beside him, petting the kitten's fur slowly, tracing the bones like slow insects.
Saeyoung raises his eyebrows. "You're going to make me pledge to so many promises."
"But I too have many promises to you," you tease, raising your pinky. "Saeyoung Choi, I promise I'll raise Elly with you until he has babies with other cat, who knows, and give the future kittens to Saeran. I promise you can hug him and running in circles, but please, don't do it too hard. I promise you can choose the tackiest bed and name tag you can ever find for him. Whatever you want, really, to make you happy."
"I love you so much," is what he utters the next three seconds, finding his way to slip his fingers into your space, like moon pulling tides higher and higher, and you feel like that: higher than the sky. He smiles when he sees red blooming across your face and his grip tightens and you mirror him with the same force. "I love you so much."
.
.
707: Jumin.
707: You are the best boss ever.
Jumin Han: Finally someone here recognizes that.
Jaehee Kang: ...Did I read it right?
707: Yup!
707: He's the best.
707: Numero uno!
Jumin Han: Glad you think so meow.
707: Meow meow~~~ lolololol
707: C'mon, Jaehee, join the forces of cat :
Jaehee Kang: ...
Jaehee Kang: ^^
Jaehee Kang: I'm going to cleanse my eyes with Zen's holy selfies, thank you very much.
v.
"Hi, handsome," you greet to your phone, even though Saeyoung's laying at the other end of the sofa, tickling your hips with his right toe.
"Hello to you, too, pretty girl," he says, followed by a quiet snicker that's been bubbling up since you cover your mouth with your hand, wanting to stop the giggles that flow like a leaking faucet, but here you are, giving in at first hello of Saturday afternoon.
Saeran sips his tea, eyes moving left and right. "Is this your thing?"
"What? Calling?" asks Saeyoung back without hanging up the phone. He shrugs. "It's like, one of the most mundane thing to do, nowadays."
"But calling when you're in the same room?" Saeran raises an eyebrow, confused. "Who the hell does that?"
"Saeran," you say, glancing at Saeyoung before giving a thumbs up to the younger twin, "we do."
"You guys are weird," he comments.
"We are weird," supports Saeyoung, nodding eagerly. "Right, sweetheart?"
"Oh, yes," you agree, nodding along. "We are the epitome of weird. The actual definition, in fact. Search us in Wikipedia, will ya?"
Saeyoung snorts. Saeran rolls his eyes and chooses to escape.
Your fiance beams for eternity, then asks as he pulls the hem of your shirt with his toes, "So, what are we going to talk about now?"
"Space wedding, obviously."
.
.
To call each other when you can see the other's face is a habit that you sincerely doubt you can erase it.
The first time you called him it's because you longed for his existence, even though he did exist before you, cold and ignorant. You peeled away the frozen layers, call by call, pushing and persisting and holding onto wisps of imagination. And you witnessed him opening the door to you. The real Saeyoung Choi, covered in Luciel and 707's puzzle pieces, is standing beyond, insecure, but not pathetic—never pathetic.
After that, it is extremely easy to call him. It is heavenly to listen to his gentle yet cracked voice, mumbling binary codes and sweet words and young love and cheesy song lyrics he picked up from the radio for you. It is pleasant to call him and turning your body, only to see him already standing there, one arm spread like a one-winged angel, hair mussed and wide grin. And it is so easy to let go of the phone and pin him down, his torso between your knees. It is ethereal to hear you both laugh at the same time, echoing through the phone speakers and the rooms and perhaps the whole universe. It is miracle to be touched by fingers so kind, incredibly kind, and kiss him as if to say it is that easy for you to love him and it is that hard for you to do the opposite.
You'll be there standing by his side forever.
.
.
707: You know what?
707: I'm incredibly, incredibly blessed.
707 sends a sticker.