Summary: Neji is a jail guard working to pay the bills. However, he's bored out of his mind. What he doesn't expect is the arrival of a rude, wild, and positively crazy pirate…and it's a GIRL?! NejiTen

Note: This is, yes, a NejiTen fic about pirates. You must think I'm seriously out of my mind.

I am.

I felt like writing one. Thus, I wrote one. And no, this was not inspired by Pirates of the Caribbean, this was actually inspired by the Phantasy Land videos I found on the net (search "Phantasy Land" and you'll find it.) I also felt like writing a story where Neji is the focus. If you like it, review after you read. If you don't, review after you read.

Of Rum and Salt Water

"…what do you want me to do?"

For once in his life, Hyuuga Neji was unbelieving. He was never unbelieving. He had even believed Hanabi when she told him that his uncle was retching in the bathtub (it had been true, by the way—alcohol can do that to a person.) What he did not believe was that there was a pirate standing in front of him. Now, he was a guard for a relatively small prison, in a relatively small town. Said relatively small town was so relatively small that pirates didn't bother to raid it because of its relative smallness. In addition, even if pirates had raided it, the military was so pitiful that the members (there were two) would just wave their swords like toothpicks and run around like little girls. If they had captured one, they certainly would not give it to him; after all, Neji was only sixteen, which was a "child" by their standards. The fact that the pirate in front of him was incredibly grimy and unrecognizable did not help much. However, the person's (he assumed it was a person) grossest feature was its long tentacles of hair that hung over its face in blackened strands. For the most part, the person looked unharmed.

Thus, it was incredibly understandable that Neji was surprised. The man, whom Neji referred to as "Soldier Number Two," dismissed his question and instead shoved the pirate towards him. By instinct Neji dodged and the pirate smashed into the bars of the jail cell.

"Ouch." Neji grimaced.

With his pointer finger and his thumb, he seized the pirate's collar, opened the door, and sent it tumbling in. He locked the door and sighed.

Two hours later, as Neji counted the flies buzzing around a piece of moldy bread on the floor, he was suddenly startled by the prisoner's voice. It was actually kind of nice—not too gruff.

"Hey, boy, let me out."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Neji said, flicking a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Yes."

Neji made a mental note: encourage Soldier Number Two to hang the pirate.

Five minutes later, the prisoner talked again.

"Get me some rum."

"You could at least be polite about it." Neji sighed in exasperation. He was getting VERY annoyed.

The pirate considered it for a moment. "Arrr, matey, give me some rum."

Neji looked quizzically at it. "Er, I appreciate the effort, but this isn't exactly a BAR. For goodness' sake, it's a PRISON."

Suddenly he felt a heavy weight upon his shoulders; his head sagged slightly. Looking over, he saw the pirate give him a death glare.

"Did you just deny me rum?"

"…yes…?"

He felt a stone whizzing by his face, and his eyes bulged. He was certain that it would have been fatal. Afterward, the silence was awkward (Neji was careful to stay out of the pirate's range) and Neji inwardly kicked himself; he certainly did not want to make enemies of a pirate, even if said pirate was going to die.

Neji

The pirate was scheduled to be hanged two days after. Neji, for one, was glad that it would be gone. He had endured its smell for forty-eight hours; as a result, he was released from servitude on the day of the hanging.

Ugh. He heard Hanabi calling.

"Neji…Neji…"

He chose to ignore it. He could pretend that he didn't hear her.

"NEJI! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Dejectedly, Neji stood up. He walked through the hall, wondering when he had become his little cousin's slave.

"Yeah?" Neji stood in the doorway. Hanabi was busy disassembling a doll, carefully placing its head on the ground and then grinding it into the ground with her foot. Neji winced, seeing the little eyes rolling around on the floor.

"Neji, get me candy."

"Get me candy please."

"I said, 'get me candy,' swine."

Inside, Neji thought very private thoughts.

Any person who likes that girl is a masochist.

Tenten

Good, the fat guy is coming, Tenten thought. I suppose it's about time for my hanging.

Once the fat guy had unlocked the door, it was ridiculously easy to knock him out (even with handcuffs) since she was now rested (but without rum.) In two minutes she had unlocked herself, fumbling a bit with the key, and was up and running through the door.

Neji

Four minutes ago Neji had picked out candy. Two minutes ago Neji had paid for it. One minute ago Neji had walked out of the store. Twenty seconds ago Neji had been walking home.

And…HOLY—was that the pirate?!

And was that pirate running towards him?

Neji stared blankly at the escaped prisoner, processing slowly. Okay…so the pirate had escaped. It seemed to be going fairly straight. It was about two feet away from him. He wondered when it would turn to avoid hitting him.

It didn't.

And the two of them went barreling into the canal. Why, yes, there is a canal. It is rather useful for shipping and transporting.

And while I was saying that, Neji and the pirate were, in fact, being carried away.

Neji struggled onto the shore, gasping for air. It was rather slow moving, considering the pirate was clamped to one of his arms.

"You can let go of me now."

"Ahem. But no." The pirate struggled to its feet. Neji thought that it was a different person entirely. The grime and muck had been washed away. The pirate looked up and he noticed its large, shining brown eyes.

And—HOLY COW! IT WAS A GIRL!

While Neji was still standing stiff in shock, the girl brushed back a wet strand of hair and said something softly.

Neji was slowly recovering. It—she was just a girl. After all, he had been referring to the pirate as "it" all this time, which is rather ambiguous.

And—HOLY COW! IT HAD A KNIFE!

The girl looked at him with lidded eyes, smiling slightly. He didn't like that smile. The knife, which he liked even less than the smile, was pressed against the side of his neck. It felt wet and cold.

"My name is Tenten," the girl said. "And you are the person who deprived me of my rum."

END OF CHAPTER ONE