This is my first published story, so criticism is appreciated! Rated M for: Language, Triggering Topics (Bulimia, Anorexia, Cutting), Sexual Content, and Violence.

Setting: Dean decided to go to college with Sam instead of keeping the family business. Now that he has more time to focus on himself, he isn't sure he likes what he sees.

Sorry if Dean is out of Character! It's hard, but I will try to keep him very similar to the show.

Also, Sorry the First Chapter is really small, but I promise to keep writing. Even if I only get one review. And the next chapter is HUGE, so don't worry!

One more thing! When it says (Dean:) or (Sam:) or any other characters names with a colon after it, its from the persons point of view.

Dean:

Dean leaned over the toilet. He rested his right arm on the toilet and felt it finally coming. He was almost done. Or at least he thought. He never really knew. His head jerked forward, as what Dean thought was his pie, coming up his throat and going down the drain. He took one moment to look at it. He flushed the toilet. "Just a couple more times..." he thought as he put three fingers down his throat. He gagged, and when nothing came up, he tried again.
It worked. But when Dean heard the apartment door open, he panicked.
"Why was Sam home? Wasn't he supposed to be in class?" It was too late, he already gagged, and it was coming.
He quickly took his hand out of his mouth, and put it on the toilet.

Sam:

"Dean?" Sam dropped his backpack on the couch and headed towards Dean's room. "Are you ok?"
Sam opened Dean's room door to find it empty and the bathroom door ajar. He walked over to the bathroom door and opened it.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Dean replied as he flushed the toilet. "I went to that diner down the street to eat, and apparently it didn't settle well." He said as he got up from his position of leaning over the toilet. Dean was wearing his usual outfit of dark blue Jeans, a black sleeveless shirt, and a dark green button up. Sam noticed the right sleeve was rolled up, but didn't say anything.
"Why are you back from school so early? I thought you had another class?" Dean sat on the edge of the tub.
"Oh yeah, the teacher rescheduled." Sam replied. He could tell something was wrong, but Dean was a hard man to read. Dean's eyes watered.
"Are you sure you are okay?" Sam whispered.
"Yeah throwing up is pretty painful. My throat is aching." Sam could hear the quivers and scratchiness of Dean's voice. "I think I'm done though."
"Okay." was all Sam could think to say. He walked out to the living room and turned on the TV. Something just felt wrong.

Dean:

"Damn it!" Dean whispered. Sam can't know about this. "Why did you have to eat that fucking pie, Dean? Cause it tasted good? Well, you almost risked Sam finding out, you failure." Dean thought to himself. Dean hated the fact he lied to Sam. Ever since Dean was little, he had to take care of Sam. Sam can't find out. What would you think if someone you had looked up to for their entire life is making himself throw up and harming himself on purpose?
Dean picked up the bathroom and looked at the toilet. It's amazing Sam never noticed how stained the toilet was. Dean had this habit, that whenever he threw up, he'd look in the mirror for a couple seconds afterwards. Just staring at himself. Never purposely doing it, just doing it. He looked at himself, and usually just felt disappointed in himself. For some reason he felt tired. Like there was no point. Dean couldn't stand to look at himself any longer. He grabbed a glass of water in the kitchen for his throat. Passing Sam almost asleep on the couch, Dean put the glass on his nightstand and went to bed.